General family grump about reading, history & school

[bbrandonsmom]

I'm trying to avoid conversations about h/s with a family member. Well, she's taken an interest, and it seemed like a general one, so I send some updates her way occasionally. Recently, I sent her a photo of all the review words up to week 11 in Phonics Road. I'm very proud of my ds for learning these and knowing them. She's been happy, at least I thought, so far with what he's been learning.

Today though, as she was asking me about some books I was looking for, and I was explaining how I thought "easy readers" were just odd, because they have both short words a kindy might be learning, as well as longer, more 1-2nd grade words. Which led to a conversation about the word, "the".

Anyhow, I guess, "the" derives from "thy, or thi", for meaning usage, according to Websters. And I wondered when "thy" became "the". This was for me, not for ds. I think it's nice to know why some words or word pairs make certain sounds. That led to why kids need to be taught this anyhow-phonics vs whole word. Because they will lean it eventually. And why does the meaning help learn to spell the word, or help in graduation?

Then on to history and things that can/should be taught in school. Of course I believe world history should be taught, how else can we learn from our mistakes and progress as a nation? You don't have to detail each country though. You can't even cover all of US history in school years. People make history their life passion, and know way more than the general person. But I guess it's not supposed to be taught in school, because how does that help in graduation? How does learning various economics help?

I feel like I was really getting picked on by how we are teaching. And here, the whole time, I thought she was truly trying to understand what we were doing and why. And because the 3yr old up the street, can ask to shake hands, that makes my kids socially unacceptable? I guess he goes to prek? I think I am slightly put off as well, because PR can be a hard program, and my ds is only 5.5, and has learned so much. But she basically said I was wasting my time teaching him to read this way.

Why are we supposed to limit what a child-up to high school-learns, based on what they need to graduate? It makes no sense to me. Kids are capable, given the exposure and tools. Well, you guys know that :)

[Rosie_0801]

If you don't want to talk to this person about homeschooling, don't! If you don't mind it, perhaps it would be best to keep discussion to theory, and avoid specifics about your child's studies. A person is allowed to disagree with you, but you don't have to care. It should be possible for two adults to discuss education theory while accepting the other's right to different ideas, and without getting personal. If the two of you can't converse that way on this topic, stop talking and lend books instead. If the person reads them, they'll understand where you're coming from. If they don't, they can't be too interested.

 

Rosie

[ElizabethB]

:grouphug:

 

You're not wasting your time!

 

Whole words is wasting time. It looks like they are learning more and can read more books up front, but in the long run, a phonics taught child does much better overall and will be several grade levels ahead in a few years.

 

I have been tutoring for 16 years and giving out reading grade level tests that whole time, I've given out hundreds. When I first started tutoring, many of the schools were using 100% whole word methods, that caused some degree of reading difficulties for about 60% of the students. Balanced literacy with a mix of phonics and sight words ranges from 30 to 40% of the students having problems. The students I've tested that did a strong phonics program with few sight words have all been at least at grade level and most were at least 2 grade levels ahead of their grade level.

 

It is also a lot of work to remediate those failures from sight words, it takes far more effort that teaching it right the first time.

[FO4UR]

:grouphug:

 

She's trying to convince herself. Politely agree to disagree and find other topics to talk about.

 

Keep up the good work with your little one!:hurray:

[bbrandonsmom]

It really has nothing to do with trying to convince, or defend our choices right now. I had decided to not talk about h/w with her awhile ago, just because she is so adamantly against it, and the discussion went nowhere.

But over the past month or so, she seemed like she was showing a true interest in what ds was learning. Even going as far as asking me what materials I still needed, or would like for them. And I was happy, because of that. I guess it was just stupid on my part, because what I took for real interest, seems now to be more of a motive, to knock what we are doing :( I mean, how do you say, "Oh, that's great he's reading so well, etc etc", and then turn around and criticize? At least that's how I'm seeing it, and I didn't expect that. Part of me thinks she's irritated, because she expected us to fail already, so is looking for something-anything, to pick at.

Anyhow, I did give her a few book titles to check out and read. At least to get an updated view on home school. WTM and The Well adjusted Child, for starters.

[Dinsfamily]

It really has nothing to do with trying to convince, or defend our choices right now. I had decided to not talk about h/w with her awhile ago, just because she is so adamantly against it, and the discussion went nowhere.

But over the past month or so, she seemed like she was showing a true interest in what ds was learning. Even going as far as asking me what materials I still needed, or would like for them. And I was happy, because of that. I guess it was just stupid on my part, because what I took for real interest, seems now to be more of a motive, to knock what we are doing :( I mean, how do you say, "Oh, that's great he's reading so well, etc etc", and then turn around and criticize? At least that's how I'm seeing it, and I didn't expect that. Part of me thinks she's irritated, because she expected us to fail already, so is looking for something-anything, to pick at.

Anyhow, I did give her a few book titles to check out and read. At least to get an updated view on home school. WTM and The Well adjusted Child, for starters.

 

I don't think you made a mistake talking about hs'ing with this person. They seemed genuinely interested. Now that you know they aren't you can stop talking about it. Their opinion has no effect on your hs'ing. We (hsers) sometimes have a need for validation in our choices. I have that. However, I've seen that trying to get out of our harshest critics isn't a wise course...especially with such a young child. I'm blessed to have few IRL critics of my choice to hs but I know that several on this board have dealt with a lot and have learned to ignore it.

 

BTW, it sounds like PR is working well for you and your ds. Congrats on the progress. It might help to remember that even brick-and-mortar schools don't agree on the best way to teach reading.

[johnandtinagilbert]

:grouphug:

 

She's trying to convince herself. Politely agree to disagree and find other topics to talk about.

 

Keep up the good work with your little one!:hurray:

:iagree:

 

In your tenure as a home schooler, you'll find a lot of people that have different goals than you do for their child's education, even amongst home schoolers. *I* find it strange the focus was heavily on graduation requirements. Sounds like a non-home schooler to me :) We're more interested in value and quality of learning than meeting some bureaucratic standard of "graduation req't."

My 3yo dd wouldn't even hug and kiss her grandmother, much less shake someone's hand. :tongue_smilie:You'll find a lot of UNEDUCATED (not shouting, just emphasizing) people, regarding home schoolers, will run with the social stigma nonsense. Lack of socialization is a myth. You've met my dc, amazing how well they could speak to you, while the public-schoolers at Boy Scouts hardly can pass more than, "um...like....well....uh" and these boys are mainly in honors tracks.

 

Your suggestion to her to read some books was a great one. Now, I'd leave it in her own hands. If she mentions it again, you have to learn to simply say, "We clearly have some different opinions on education. I'd rather not discuss it with you anymore." The sad truth is, once you start home schooling, a lot of former friends will pop up -- the former part, I mean. Some will never understand your choices. Some will be too busy shopping at Target while their kids are in preschool and you'll be too busy learning world history.

 

There is Value --- great value--- in the choices you've made. We understand that value here, she doesn't; it's honestly her loss. Teaching world history teaches the common thread amongst humanity; teaching word roots has great value in spelling and overall understanding of language. While her kid shakes everybody's hand, your kid will actually recognize the culture of the person and be able to hold an articulate conversation with them about something that goes beyond Westernized American understanding. Sorry to say this about your friend, but her ignoramous flag is flying.

[athomemom]

Moving forward I'd avoid discussing anything related to homeschooling with this person. There must be other things you can talk about. I don't try to convince people. I suppose in the beginning I did, but I don't anymore. It's not worth the aggravation.

:iagree:

[Mommybostic]

I am pulling my son out of ps over Christmas break and starting the journey. The MAIN thing that has held me back to this point is that I was worried what people would say and think. Ultimately, you should only worry about pleasing yourself and your child. Or, in less educated vernacular, tell the critics to take long walk off a short dock!

[Honey Bee]

:grouphug:

 

She's trying to convince herself. Politely agree to disagree and find other topics to talk about.

 

Keep up the good work with your little one!:hurray:

 

 

:iagree: :iagree: :iagree:

[johnandtinagilbert]

I am pulling my son out of ps over Christmas break and starting the journey. The MAIN thing that has held me back to this point is that I was worried what people would say and think. Ultimately, you should only worry about pleasing yourself and your child. Or, in less educated vernacular, tell the critics to take long walk off a short dock!

YEAH for you!