heeeelp.... pray please...

[specialmama]

I've had it... I've been going through so much lately that I just can't do it anymore. I've snapped at my dd so much lately, instantly regret it, but do it again. I can't stop. I can't control it. Medically speaking, there is reason for this (I don't want to get into it now, I've mentioned it before and it tires me to talk about) but it's not fair to her. I just can't help but think that she would do better in school right now. I'm so stuck. She's a very sweet kid and does not deserve this. But school has the potential to just rip her to pieces. I don't know what to do. I need to pray about it and not make any rash decisions, but needed to come here and ask for prayer support as well.

TIA

 

Also, has anyone got any tips on how to over-ride these insane bursts of anger that come out of nowhere and I can't seem to control them? It's so out of character for me, and I don't know what to do.

[Mama Geek]

One of the first things is to figure out what triggers it and then back away from it every time.

 

My dh would do things that would set me off because of things associated with my parents. It takes some practice but it can get much better.

[MariannNOVA]

:grouphug::grouphug: (unless you don't want any, then just tell me to back off.)

 

 

I have done that in the past to my kids (went off on them in anger - many times it had nothing to do with them).

 

It hasn't happened in awhile (it's a process in the works with help from lots of places - you can PM me).

 

I apologize to them when I have calmed down (and that can be a very long time), I tell them it was wrong (when I can honestly say that it was).

 

Last year was a bad year for us as far as the rug being pulled out from under us, and I did feel that at least if I put the twins in public school, it would be better for us. I didn't, we stuck it out, schooled through most of the summer, but I think we are okay for it.

 

You have to do what you think is good for your family -- I'll be praying for you. Please try not to be so hard on yourself.:grouphug::grouphug:

[Nakia]

I will pray for you, Karyn. I know what it's like to lose control too often. It just plain sucks. :grouphug:

[Parrothead]

I'm not sure how old you are, but it might be worth it to go have your hormone levels checked out. Perimenopause can start in your early 30s. Have you noticed the anger cycling?

 

:grouphug:

[Impish]

Talk to your dr. As you said, there is a medical reason, and he may well be able to help.

 

Second, come get me, and we'll go out, just you and I. You can scream, rant, rave and rage in a safe place to a safe person.

 

:grouphug: I get what snapping when you don't want to feels like :grouphug:

 

Ps, you aren't invisible ;)

[jenL]

:grouphug: Saying prayers for you. You are not alone. :grouphug:

[Hedgehog]

:grouphug: Praying for you here. :grouphug:

 

My mum used to do this a lot to us. I'm not sure what your medical condition is (sorry if I missed something obvious) but mum just had the most appalling PMS. I remember as a child, being completely blown out the water by some of her explosions.. but as I got older, what hurt the most was the fact that she never apologised. Ever. If we'd just had one "sorry", it so would have helped us to know that she didn't really mean to hurt us, but it never came.

 

I'm not saying that about my mum to make you feel bad at all, and I can assure you that my belief is that any stick your dd gets from you will be roses and sunshine compared to the cr@p she'd get in PS, but PLEASE say sorry to her after the event, and have a hug together. I struggle with snapping at my dc too, but because of the above, I try real hard to make it good afterwards. Ideally one doesn't do it at all, but life is never perfect. That's why we need our Lord. :001_smile:

 

ETA: hope this makes sense. I'm tired. Basically, I understand and I'm praying for you. :)

[Jean in Newcastle]

One thing that has helped me is to start to identify the feelings I have in my body before I blow up like a volcano. So at the first sign of my jaw clenching, my muscles tensing etc., I will calmly tell the kids that I'm getting stressed and that we need to work together so that I don't lose it. I'm ultimately responsible, of course, for my behavior and words, but my kids do have some responsibility if they see mom's face getting red and keep pushing those buttons. It has helped all of us tremendously to step back really early and re-evaluate. It may mean that we take a sanity break from what we're doing, or simplify things, or that I get to walk away for a while. Whatever works.

[bookfiend]

I'm not sure how old you are, but it might be worth it to go have your hormone levels checked out. Perimenopause can start in your early 30s. Have you noticed the anger cycling?

 

:grouphug:

 

Yep, I spent the entire year I was 39 feeling angry for no reason. Just like I spent the entire year I was 12 crying. Hormones can wreak havoc, but you and your family don't have to suffer.