Anyone have experience with anger in a 3yo?

[mo2]

Excessive anger. The slightest thing will set him off....if I give him his milk in the wrong cup, if the shirt he wants isn't clean, if he can't get the toy to do what he wants, the cat won't sit still for him, etc, etc. Usually I can tell what sort of day we are going to have within minutes of him waking up. If the day starts out bad, it is sure to continue that way. His fits are uncontrollable: Crying, screaming, yelling, cursing, throwing things, punching, head banging. Nothing we try seems to work. It is really beginning to interfere with our home life, and many times his behavior will embarrass us in public. Dinner at a restaurant can be downright distastrous, so we just don't do this anymore.

 

FYI: I suspect he has SPD...could this be related?

[SailorMom]

You may want to look at Oppositional Defiance Disorder as well. It is sort of a catch-all, but therapy can really help. The sooner you take him the better.

My son wasn't as bad at 3, but when he was 10 (and we were on our 8th military move in 5 years) he had quite a meltdown. He was diagnosed with some form of ODD and had therapy every week for about 18 months. It was a very positive experience for us, and he has done so well since then.

[Dobela]

It could be a lot of things. Allergies, particularly to foods and preservatives is one. MSG regularly in his diet will make my son extremely irritable and elad to meltdowns. Dairy products will effect my mood sometimes as well.

 

I would want to rule out other possible physical issues - headaches maybe? Sleep apnea?

 

Some children on the autism spectrum have the behaviors you have described - in particular the head banging and inability to have changes in routine and expectations.

 

I would start documenting the behaviors in a notebook. Write down what preceededthe behavior, what happened during an episode, and after. These are notes you will want to keep and take to a medical appointment with your doctor. There you will have proof and evidence to help get referrals for all sorts of evaluations.

 

In the meantime, :grouphug::grouphug:

[MamaSheep]

My Aspie ds was very much like that when he was three. It's fairly dreadful to live with, and you have my deepest sympathies. Yes, it can definitely be related to SPD issues. Understanding our ds's sensory issues has gone a LONG way toward helping him get control of himself. That kind of rigidity and extreme emotional reaction to any variation from what is "expected" by the child can also be an indicator of autism. I would suggest seeing if there's some kind of early intervention program where you live, as they often will do an evaluation at no cost, or charge on an income-based sliding scale. More information is always better, IMO. I'm sure that's not what you want to hear, though. The good news is that if it IS something like that there are things you can do to improve the situation. Aspie ds is turning into quite the pleasant young man. He's responsible, helpful, and insightful, and it turns out that he had quite a sense of humor hiding out under all that screaming. :grouphug:

[mo2]

My Aspie ds was very much like that when he was three. It's fairly dreadful to live with, and you have my deepest sympathies. Yes, it can definitely be related to SPD issues. Understanding our ds's sensory issues has gone a LONG way toward helping him get control of himself. That kind of rigidity and extreme emotional reaction to any variation from what is "expected" by the child can also be an indicator of autism. I would suggest seeing if there's some kind of early intervention program where you live, as they often will do an evaluation at no cost, or charge on an income-based sliding scale. More information is always better, IMO. I'm sure that's not what you want to hear, though. The good news is that if it IS something like that there are things you can do to improve the situation. Aspie ds is turning into quite the pleasant young man. He's responsible, helpful, and insightful, and it turns out that he had quite a sense of humor hiding out under all that screaming. :grouphug:

 

 

How would I find out if there is an early intervention program? What would it be called, and who might I contact?

 

He definitely does not like changes in our routine. He is very much a homebody, and spending the night other places is simply awful. (With the exception of one vacation we took---for some reason he adored this particular hotel and has mentioned wanting to go back there. :confused: ) He has to be given time to wake up in the morning and get going slowly. The days when we have to rush out the door to an appointment are usually setting us up to have a bad day with him.

[mo2]

I would start documenting the behaviors in a notebook. Write down what preceededthe behavior, what happened during an episode, and after. These are notes you will want to keep and take to a medical appointment with your doctor. There you will have proof and evidence to help get referrals for all sorts of evaluations.

 

Good idea. I should do this.

 

I have actually considered doing the Feingold diet with him but, well, I am kind of scared to. I am not sure I could follow through with it. Also, he is such a picky eater that if I took away some of the foods he currently eats, I'm afraid he would starve.

[MamaSheep]

How would I find out if there is an early intervention program? What would it be called, and who might I contact?

 

He definitely does not like changes in our routine. He is very much a homebody, and spending the night other places is simply awful. (With the exception of one vacation we took---for some reason he adored this particular hotel and has mentioned wanting to go back there. :confused: ) He has to be given time to wake up in the morning and get going slowly. The days when we have to rush out the door to an appointment are usually setting us up to have a bad day with him.

 

Probably the easiest way would be to call up the school district and ask them what the early intervention program is called and how you can get in touch with them. They're not usually actually run by the school district, but they often work closely with them because after the kids hit 4 or 5 years old they get transitioned into the school districts programs. But you may be able to find out by asking your doctor, or the county social work department that works with families would know. It may be in your phone book even.

[Mom22ns]

How would I find out if there is an early intervention program? What would it be called, and who might I contact?

 

He definitely does not like changes in our routine. He is very much a homebody, and spending the night other places is simply awful. (With the exception of one vacation we took---for some reason he adored this particular hotel and has mentioned wanting to go back there. :confused: ) He has to be given time to wake up in the morning and get going slowly. The days when we have to rush out the door to an appointment are usually setting us up to have a bad day with him.

 

Since you are in MO, call your local school district and ask for the Early Childhood Special Education (ECSE) coordinator. If you are in a small district that doesn't have a coordinator, they will know who handles it.

 

You can also ask for a "Parents as Teachers" visit. They will visit once/month and do in home screenings as well as give advice on development and behavior questions. My warning on this one is that PAT workers aren't necessarily well trained and mine told me my ASD child was way ahead and doing great. I had to get her supervisor to do an evaluation after an outside evaluation said there were problems.

[SkateLeft]

:grouphug:

 

As others have said, there are so many things that can cause those types of outbursts! It's especially hard in public, when people just assume it's a case of poor parenting or lack of discipline! We're struggling with this right now in my son's preschool, since this is his first year outside of a special education classroom, and the other parents have no idea of his background. I find myself hoping that people see his Medic-Alert bracelet, or see how great my older kids are, and realize that something must be different about my little guy!

 

When he has those kinds of anger outbursts, it's usually either due to sensory issues or a change in his routine. If he's anxious about something, he'll also act out due to his inability to express himself adequately. I think he also feels powerless a lot, so he tries to control the things he can.

 

He gets overwhelmed by sensory stimuli very easily, and he's particularly sensitive to smells (or says he is... we can't smell the things that bother him). If he's overwhelmed by sensory stimuli, he'll get angry about everything and anything until he has the opportunity to detach himself.

 

I hope you can get some resolution! When there's an issue that starts to affect the day-to-day life of the whole family, then I really think it's best to seek evaluation and try to get some help.

[Tiramisu]

:grouphug:

 

He gets overwhelmed by sensory stimuli very easily, and he's particularly sensitive to smells (or says he is... we can't smell the things that bother him). If he's overwhelmed by sensory stimuli, he'll get angry about everything and anything until he has the opportunity to detach himself.

 

 

Reading this was an AH-HA moment for me. Sometimes I fall into the trap of thinking the sensory stuff my kids deal with is something new to the world. This post brought back the memory of how sensitive my brother was to smells (and probably still is). As a child, he had to leave the table because he would gag at some food smells, and, as an adult, sat at a different table at a restaurant when something I had ordered disturbed him. I also had a niece who couldn't go to petting zoos as a child because she would gag so badly we thought she would throw up.

 

To the OP...I found 3 years old as the worst time for outbursts with my sensitive dc. In our experience, it did get better after that, even if it didn't disappear. There's OT, maturity, and getting to know the triggers. All will help.

[ondreeuh]

My almost-3 yr old has times like this, but it's not constant. It's definitely worse when he's hungry and tired. I am getting more consistent with instant time-outs for screaming. In my son's case, he is choosing to scream for attention and responds well to the time-outs. If your gut is telling you your son has more going on than just being willful, definitely pursue it. The earlier you figure out what you're dealing with, the better.

[Ottakee]

This can also be seen with a child with a mood disorder. I would suggest calling the early intervention people and then also seeing about a neurologist or developemental pediatrician or neuropsychologist to do an evaluation. You also want to rule out allergies, food intolerances, other health issues, etc.