Why doesn't info STICK in my dd's head?

[dorothy]

I hs two dd's ages 10 and 7. My dd 10 is always at a loss to retrieve information when I ask a question. My dd 7 has the answer. I read outloud, have them read to themselves, we draw pictures, we write about it, we talk about it, etc., and when I ask the question, dd 10 is at a loss, dd 7 has the answer. What's more, dd 10 will sometimes give totally off-the-wall answers. It's like it is all nebulous in her mind. I can't tell you how hard I have worked at having it make sense, follow a line, connect the dots, show contrasts and comparisons, give examples, write it on the whiteboard, etc. I ask a question, dd 10 is at a loss, dd 7 has the answer.

 

If you met them, you would think that dd 10 is the sharp one and dd 7 the slow one. But in hs it is the other way around. I can't figure this out!

I'm talking about history mostly, but it is true of most subjects.

[kim in ks]

Do you find it's this way w/ other non homeschool things? Like Where is the bread? and they look around like they have no idea??? that is our daughter, we have a similar situation. My 7 yos has tons of common sense, and our 11 yod has none, or very little. I can relate this is very frustrating, We try and help her think through things, like , asking questions that will help her learn to thing things through. WE are trying to teach her to think logically by herself. We also do writing, talking, drawing, anything during school to help her retain. We have found that if she shares something she learned about in school w/ her dad. She often gets the facts then. Questions seem to lock down her brains! So Last year, I'd give her a prize or something if she could remember to tell her Dad something new she learned in for example History.

hope this helps

kim

[JFSinIL]

My dd, 11, is like this, too - she was thoroughly tested by our school district last year and came out above average or "mildly" gifted in most areas EXCEPT for one not so little problem - transferring info from short to long-term memory. She needs a LOT of review...and the strategy of repeating to herself, in her own words, what she is learning to help move it into long-term memory. Just rereading a passage or doing more math problems is not the trick for this kid - she has to stop and think about or talk about or write about something to really retain it. I am teaching note-taking and out-lining skills this year and next year, too.

[Myrtle]

I hs two dd's ages 10 and 7. My dd 10 is always at a loss to retrieve information when I ask a question. My dd 7 has the answer. I read outloud, have them read to themselves, we draw pictures, we write about it, we talk about it, etc., and when I ask the question, dd 10 is at a loss, dd 7 has the answer. What's more, dd 10 will sometimes give totally off-the-wall answers. It's like it is all nebulous in her mind. I can't tell you how hard I have worked at having it make sense, follow a line, connect the dots, show contrasts and comparisons, give examples, write it on the whiteboard, etc. I ask a question, dd 10 is at a loss, dd 7 has the answer.

 

If you met them, you would think that dd 10 is the sharp one and dd 7 the slow one. But in hs it is the other way around. I can't figure this out!

I'm talking about history mostly, but it is true of most subjects.

 

Yeah, but does she remember every detail about Hannah Montana?

 

Unless there is some learning disability, this is more than likely related to her interest in the subject matter to begin with.

[genie]

My daughter is very much like this. She is, no doubt, extremely smart, but processing auditory information takes time. She has to turn it into a visual before she can process it, and sometimes that takes a while, depending on what type of information. If I give her directions, I have to pause between each step to allow her to visualize herself doing it. If I am trying to get her to remember something in history or science, I have to mention the concept, not just the name or vocabulary word.

 

And she is like this with everything, not just school. She has a very hard time remembering friends' names. Especially if she hasn't seen them in a while. I will have to say, "You know, the one who lives in the brown house with the cocker spaniel." Then she will instantly remember. But I have to attach a visual for her to quickly retrieve that information.

 

We love the game Tri-Bond, where one player reads a list of three things that are somehow related, and you have to guess what that relation is. My poor daughter struggles terribly with it. BUT! Once in a while, it is a pictorial clue (three pictures that you have to see the relationship between) and she rocks the house on that one. We've barely had a chance to figure out what the three pictures are, and she has already figured out the relation!

 

So possibly, the information is in your dd's head, but she needs a different prompt to help her retrieve it. :o

[Rhondabee]

I think there's just something about ages 10-12 1/2 or so that just makes their brains go to La-La Land for a few years.

 

I could have written the same post as OP when my kids were 7 and 10 - and I was *very* concerned (you can search the old board!). But, now that they're 13 and 10, and his hormones have settled down a bit, the older can run circles around his younger brother all day long.

 

I also suspect some of it is that we as parents accept younger vernacular and less logic from the 7 or 8 yo, so we're easily impressed by them. But suddenly we expect much more once they begin looking "big". No concrete data to back that up, just my own knowledge that I expect so much more from my oldest in all things at all ages.

 

:001_smile:

Rhonda

[Michelle T]

My guy will be 12 in a couple months. He does have ADHD, dysgraphia, very poor visual processing, very poor working memory, fine motor deficits. So on the one hand, I know why he has trouble with info retention, but on the other hand, IT STILL DRIVES ME CRAZY!

 

I can read him a paragraph out of SOTW (which he enjoys), ask him the simplest question about what I just read, and he either has no idea, or gives some answer that is so wrong, I wonder how he possibly came up with it.

 

Try presenting and then cementing the knowledge in a variety of ways. Use videos, lapbooks, games, whatever your DD likes. I'm considering teaching my DS to do some simple outlining of info, haven't started yet. When you are reading to DD, stop and ask her to narrate every couple paragraphs, or even more often if necessary. Have her look at pictures, if that helps.

 

I know how frustrating it can be, you have my sympathy!

Michelle T

[Linda...inOwasso]

Ditto with my two dd's 7 & 4. The 4 yr. old is "crazy like a fox" but she doesn't miss a thing! The older one is actually smarter (they both took IQ tests for private school a couple of years ago) BUT she's lazy and doesn't pay attention to detail.

 

A classic example: both girls do 100 problems in 5 min. of written math facts daily. Dd7 always finishes with time left... but usually has 1 to 2 careless mistakes. Dd4 never finishes all one hundred in the allotted time (she completes anywhere from 60 - 75) but the child has NEVER, NOT ONCE made a mistake.

 

I follow the philosophy that speed is important but accuracy is more important. So, with my older dd I'm always trying to slow her down and I purposely give her assignments which require her to pay attention to detail or she'll have to repeat them. And, with my younger dd I'm forever trying to speed her up. I look at it as a personality difference and as their mom/teacher I try to strengthen whichever skills my dd's are weak in.

 

HTH!!

[kim in ks]

And she is like this with everything, not just school. She has a very hard time remembering friends' names. Especially if she hasn't seen them in a while. I will have to say, "You know, the one who lives in the brown house with the cocker spaniel." Then she will instantly remember. But I have to attach a visual for her to quickly retrieve that information.

 

 

This is my daughter to a tee!!!

[TracyR]

My 8yr old is like this . I can read a story to my 10 year old and she can remember just about everything and then remember it years from now . My 8yr old's short term memory is poor . I can read her a story and in seconds she's lost that info . She will either answer it with some far fetched answer , or just doesn't know at all .

She had seizures as an infant and I attribute it to that . She was diagnosed with a receptive delay .

My 8yr old is smart , actually doing 3rd grade work .

She is my child that needs repetition . We have to read things over and over then she gets it . My daughter is alot like JFS in IL child is .

But its amazing what she can tell me about Pokemon and Hanna Montana and all that other nonsense though .

[Peela]

My son is like this too, in some areas. But not in history- not anything that's like a story- but anything logical? Its like he's never seen a fraction before, or a decimal, sometimes. Those easy Mind Bender logic puzzles? Impossible without my help.

I had him tested only a few month ago for learning problems,and both people who tested him reckoned he had a lot of issues, (mainly dyslexia) but that I had dealt with them well. Better than any school could have. Developing a visual memory is really hard for some kids, but we have spent years doing that with copywork, dictation and narration.

He is doing Brain Gym now, and having kinesiology sessions, and I was a bit skeptical myself at first, but it seems to be really making a difference.....literally, there seem to be issues with connecting parts of the brain, and parts of the body to the brain. These kinesiology sessions are surprising me....he came home and wrote a 2 page story the other day, after his session. He hates writing! half a page is the most I usually get out of him. His handwriting is actually improving after years of working at it and it still looking like chicken scrawl. It could be coincidence, but he went into his last session with a headache, and resenting going because he wanted to be doing something else- he came out bright, happy, headache free- switched on, rather than down and dark. It was quite interesting to see.

Not saying other kids who have these learning issues have "problems" as such. I think we are all unique and our kids all have their different quirks. But I got to the point I felt something much be wrong, and I felt relieved to find out it wasn't me, or anything he could help, and that there are things we can do about it.

[Isa]

My oldest son (8 years old) is intelligent, but spacey. My 7 year old son likes to work quickly and has caught up in practically all subject areas with my 8 year old.

 

With both my sons, I am working on getting them to have speed, accuracy and endurance in the skills they need to know. There is a simple and well researched method that is very effective in getting children (or adults for that matter) to master skills so that they never forget them.

 

The basic idea is that you have your child practice a particular skill (or skills) every day under timed conditions (i.e. one minute). So if your child knew the *5 multiplication facts, you'd have him practice every day for one minute by either saying them, writing them down, flashcards, etc... while going as quickly as possible. After doing this, you'd have your child chart their results. You would continue until the fluency goal had been reached (the point at which you know the facts so well, you wouldn't have to review them again). For simple math facts the fluency goal is 60-80 facts/minute. This method has been proven to work again and again over the course of 40 years.

 

Success builds upon success, and you'll save time and frustration in the long run by having your child become fluent in the basic skills in all the subject areas. So with my oldest son, his concentration is improving and he is becoming faster in doing his math (while still being accurate).

[Becki in IN]

Yes, my almost 13 yo dd does this. A couple of years ago, we spent almost 4 weeks just doing Lewis and Clark. We read books, watched movies, did activities. As a culminating activity, we set up and acted out the expedition outside. We had tents, ponies, pretend flatboats, the whole nine yards. The neighbor kids played the other parts. 8 months later she was reading about the Lewis and Clark Exp. and had no memory of it at all. We had to get her history notebook out and look at all the pics from the expedition. She's probably dealing with some processing problems, but has always done all right.

 

Frustrating, isn't it?

[Michelle T]

Yes, my almost 13 yo dd does this. A couple of years ago, we spent almost 4 weeks just doing Lewis and Clark. We read books, watched movies, did activities. As a culminating activity, we set up and acted out the expedition outside. We had tents, ponies, pretend flatboats, the whole nine yards. The neighbor kids played the other parts. 8 months later she was reading about the Lewis and Clark Exp. and had no memory of it at all. We had to get her history notebook out and look at all the pics from the expedition. She's probably dealing with some processing problems, but has always done all right.

 

Frustrating, isn't it?

 

 

My guy is exactly as you describe. We can spend a MONTH on a topic, he can find it interesting, and yet, a couple months later he doesn't remember that he ever even heard of it. It is SO frustrating! :banghead:

 

I just recently had DS fully evaluated by an educational psychologist. He has ADHD, which I knew, but also has very poor visual processing, very poor working memory, lousy fine motor control, and much better receptive language than expressive. I am still figuring out how to fully work with this information, but it is very helpful to finally know exactly what we are dealing with. It has really allowed me to stop blaming myself for all of DS's struggles with learning. I was starting to think I was such a lousy teacher I should send him back to PS.

Michelle T