Advice and Prayers Needed Badly

[susancollins]

One of my really good friends called me to tell me she is pregnant today! I am happy for her but I am grieving my losses. I have had a molar pregnancy this year and my grandma who is like a mother to me died less than 2 months ago. I took a test yesterday and it was negative. She is coming to stay this weekend. I am trying to be cheerful and in a good mood but all I want to do is cry. I know everything is in Gods timing but I can't help but feel want for another child and sadness. I have asked God to take away my want for another child if I am not suppose to have another child but my hopes and desire for another child is still here for over a year. We started trying last fall got pregnant in February of this year and that’s when I had the molar pregnancy. I am really leaning toward adoption but my husband is not so much, because he feels his family wouldn't treat a child we adopted as the same. So my question is how can I be a good friend and should I feel sad or am I just being selfish? My husband wants to keep trying but I can't keep taking the heart break the ups and downs and the highs and lows of trying to conceive. I am trying to leave it in Gods hands but I am such a micromanager and it sucks that I have NO control over my body. Please pray for me and give me honest advice.

[Punks in Ontario]

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

[Dobela]

:grouphug::grouphug: I struggled with infertility and ended up adopting 2 wonderful children before I had to give in and have a hysterectomy. The pain is immense, especially when you are wanting a child so very much. I can't tell you how many people I knew became pregnant while I was trying. It was one of the hardest things I ever went thru. Plus, I was a teacher then and being with kids everyday was just miserable sometimes.

 

As far as your friend, grieve at home. Allow yourself to cry, and be sad. Then, find ways to be joyful for her and with her. I think it was thoughtful of her to call you over the phone instead of telling you in person or you hearing it thru the grapevine. I hurt much worse when friends didn't tell me they were pregnant. Be happy for her. Even if you have to pretend some, do it. Right now isn't the time to make her feel guilty or grieve with you.

 

You will grieve and be sad. You just will. You have this dream and each time it doesn't happen, you end up grieving the loss of that dream. At some point however you just have to find a way to relax and move on. If micromanaging isn't helping, the stress you are creating isn't going to help your body be ready for a pregnancy - in fact it may prevent pregnancy. Don't take that pregnancy test every month and listen to your body. If you haven't, ask to see a specialist. Find yourself a counselor and get some help working thru the pain. Listen to your dh. Mine almost decided to never have children because I became a basket case every month that I didn't get pregnant. My stress and constant upset morphed me into a woman he didn't know and didn't necessarily like. We have friends that nearly divorced over the stress of infertility before they decided to be childless.

 

You can make it thru this, and you will come out on the other side stronger.:grouphug:

[juelle]

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

[BakersDozen]

I am trying to leave it in Gods hands but I am such a micromanager and it sucks that I have NO control over my body.

This was the worst part for me - so many things I could control in my life, but not that part of my body. I'm sorry for your loss and will be thinking of you while your friend is visiting. :grouphug:

[newlifemom]

I wish I had some sage advice for you, but I don't. (((((())))))

[Sparkle]

(((Susan))) :grouphug:

[susancollins]

Thank you for everyone who posted and messaged me, it is so great to have a wonderful group of women to turn too for advice and friendship. Please continue to keep me in your prayers.