Anyone else have a SLOW, deliberate "thinker" child?

[Wee Pip]

If so, was your slow, deliberate thinker somewhat slow with reading and math? My kiddo seems so capable, but she is...so....very....slow, LOL. I have trouble teaching her, because I think I'm either moving too fast, or going too slow, but I don't really know! Anyhow, I'm interested in hearing how you taught your slow, deliberate thinker, and if eventually your slow deliberate thinker showed some sort of genius later on:) (One can only hope, right?)

[Stacia]

Yes, I've got one of those, lol (almost 10yo now).

 

One thing that I've found that helps is not to demand immediate answers (when feasible for the subject), but give her time to mull things over & think about them (mainly when covering new material). So, we may go over a lesson or two, but I tell her to think about it while playing, etc... for the next few days. Somehow, after percolating a few days, the understanding seems cemented. She just has to mull it all over for a few days. It also helps if we read/review it from different angles (use multiple library books, or explain the same thing a few different ways), then let her think about it a few days. In the between days, I'll mention things about it, ask a few leading questions, etc..., just to keep it in her mind. In the meantime, she's thinking about all of it, putting all the pieces together, etc....

 

Also, if we're planning to do a project or something (art/craft/report/poster), I tell her ahead of time what we're planning to do & ask her to go ahead & be thinking about how she wants to do it. That way, we don't stall out when we're actually ready to get started.

 

And, learn to chill about it & remember patience. (I've certainly had to learn a big dose of that!) LOL.

 

In my experience, these kids do very well (academically) and end up having a very deep understanding of things, as long as they are given the down time to really think about things while learning them. This is my child who has been amazing at making connections between things from a very early age (much earlier than logic stage, when they typically start working on those skills). I basically had to make the decision to play to her strengths (doing the things I've mentioned already) & help her work on the weaknesses (speed). She's still not the speediest, but speed is improving w/ age too.

 

Well, that was a lot of rambling. Don't know if any of that was practical advice or not, but I can sympathize. Hang in there & enjoy the slower journey -- it gives you time to really observe & enjoy things.

[Sahamamama]

about mentoring on your blog (sorry, I tried to post a comment there, but I just can't figure out what I'm doing wrong).

 

About the deliberate thinker question, :001_smile: Stacia's suggestions are GREAT. I have tutored a lot of children who fit this description, and all of them were public-schooled. It's harder on them, because the class just blazes right on ahead, and they get left behind, and eventually, labelled. But many, many of them are bright children (and I love them, they are just so darn funny). :001_smile:

 

I often think that if these children were homeschooled, they would be able to go more at their own pace. Really, with the basics, is it better to be FASTER or just maybe to slow it down and be SOLID? Most of the kids I work with have been rushed through phonics (if at all), taught that spelling "doesn't matter" (and they end up believing this!), left to figure out how to write in cursive (if you miss two days of school, you might have to invent half the alphabet), not taught punctuation or mechanics or capitalization -- but told to "Write about what interests you."

 

In my experience as a tutor (all one-on-one, all Language Arts), these children need an emphasis on skills AND time to "percolate." I tend to emphasize the skills with my kids, because that's what seems to be lacking, but I also think that they "slow down" because they are NOT sure they are going to get it right, and THEY WANT TO GET IT RIGHT. It really matters to them, and the only way they know of to make fewer "mistakes" is to slooooooooooow dooooooowwwwwwwwwwn. Alot. But when they KNOW that they KNOW, then the work seems to flow out of them better.

 

Also, Stacia's suggestion of letting the student in on "What's Coming Up Next?" is sooooooooo helpful. If I post the "Work List" for the tutoree, he or she enjoys looking ahead and also checking off work as it's done -- AND looking back to see what has been accomplished. It can motivate a student to see that the answer is "not much!" ;)

 

One more suggestion -- for yourself -- it might help you to make a "Positive Progress List." Just put 2008 and the child's name at the top, and all year long, write down all the good positive progress you see in your daughter. You will be amazed at the end of the year. Some children make "progress" that we can see on the outside, week by week. But other children have a lot going on up there, but it's inside them, and they should not be measured by the weekly yardstick. If your daughter grows and learns and matures year by year, she will do fine. Hope that helps, I'm not doing this daily, so I don't need the "reinforcement" quite the same way as a mom who's plodding it out day by day, but don't be discouraged. A Yearly List might help stretch out the perspective for you.

[6packofun]

My oldest ds is a slow, thinking child similar to what you describe. :)

 

However, the key for him is not only giving him enough time but also teaching to his learning style which is very visual! I try to make sure that for everything I'm teaching him that I have a visual example of the concept, if that's possible. He *can* take his time and figure things out, but he's much quicker to pick things up and move along if I have shown him how to do something or given him a picture, visual instructions, etc.

 

He'll always be very methodical, though. LOL And conscientious. And a slight perfectionist. ;) Like his mommy. hehe

[unsinkable]

This is not to scare you...

 

But my dd is a slow, deliberate thinker. She developed epilepsy at 6 y.o. She had complex partial seizures but then when she was 12, she was also dx w/absence seizures.

 

For years, I thought something else was going on but attributed it to her personality. Hindsight isn't even 20/20. I can't really tell where her personality starts and the seizures begin or vice versa. She always tells me she is thinking of something or got lost in her thoughts...and she does! She has a bunch of deep complex thoughts.

 

Again, not to scare, just throwing it out there. Her "big picture" learning is great. Her attention to details is much poorer. But if my brain keeps winking on and off...who knows if I'd be able to do anything!

 

Good luck!

[Wee Pip]

Thanks for the insight! So, do you drill math facts with kids like that? Flashcards tend to frustrate us both (even if she does memorize a fact, she tends to want to be doubly sure about it by figuring it out instead). I was very similar to this, and I did finally learn to do math facts quickly (at the tender age of 32! LOL).

[Plaid Dad]

I don't have any real advice, but your description reminded me so much of St. Thomas Aquinas. His fellow students called him "the dumb ox" because he didn't show all that was going on in his deep, methodical mind. You might want to google "phlegmatic temperament" and see if what you find fits your dc.

[genie]

My daughter seems very slow and deliberate in many ways. I often contribute it to the fact that she is a visual-spatial learner through and through. In almost all forms of learning, she really has to take the time to put the words into picture format for her brain to properly comprehend it. I got frustrated at times because as we would be doing a science lesson, for example, I would have to stop after every sentence to allow her time to process those words. I kept thinking in the back of my mind, "How will she ever make it in college???"

 

But I have been rereading some of John Taylor Gatto's books lately, and something he wrote set off a light bulb moment for me. He told the story of how he often assigns 20 pages from a book to be read, and then he asks the class questions afterwards. The students are able to recall main points from the story, but they can never recall little details. He proposes that the focus on "reading comprehension" and the types of questions used in standardized testing actually train kids to only look for the main points, and to mentally skim the rest. He suggests allowing kids the time to not only read, but to visualize what they are reading. Experience all the sensory elements that the author painstakingly includes. Reading quickly and being able to answer comprehension questions is not as meaningful as reading for the experience. I also realized just how much I do this in my own reading. I never pay attention to names, or the color of boots. I'm always too busy looking for the main idea. (I know skimming for main ideas is not bad, I'm just trying to present the other end of the spectrum.)

 

So since that time, it has been much easier to slow down my pace, instead of wanting to hurry up and get through this lesson so I can mark it off the list and move on to the next one. I work a little harder myself at trying to really experience the things I am reading. But even still, my dd will remember tiny little details, down to the exact phrasing that the author used, while I can't even remember that it was in the book!

 

She still has to take a few seconds to remember even this simplest math facts. I don't know why. It is what it is. But she is very good in math conceptually, it just takes her longer to work the problems. We don't drill the facts. Maybe we should? Maybe we could spend hours of her life that could otherwise be spent in far more enjoyable and enriching ways, and it would still take her longer than most.

 

So I scale back some of my expectations, and I stand amazed at the times when she so far exceeds my expectations. And I tell myself that I'm meeting her where she is, and I can't do any better than that.

[unsinkable]

Our whole family is strongly visual-spatial.

 

There are some great articles on: http://www.visualspatial.org/index.htm

 

Plaid Dad,

 

My dd often talks of being a nun --- she already lives such a comtemplative life!

 

These children, the thinkers, th slow, deliberate ones, have a place in this world. Don't get me wrong: there are times I struggle with doubts about her. But I believe there is a different world waiting her. A world that is the antithesis of flash cards and timed tests. I can see her arranging flowers or comforting the grieving or analyzing government policies. Anyway...