Work or HS?Need advice. LONG

[suzziesnowflake]

I currently hs my ds11 because he has dyslexia, dysgraphia, and ADD. The school district would not provide the proper intervention (orton-gillingham) for my son (he was reading 2 years behind grade level). The special ed teacher is a nightmare and his self esteem was very low. So DH and I decided to pull him and hs. There has been a huge improvement in him and we are thrilled. However, my dh business is very slow right now. I just had a job offer (I didn't even apply) but it is 40 hours a week. No way I could hs. I met with the principle at the school and he said that my ds is due for a new IEP and that he could not provide ds with proper intervention(no orton-gillingham), nor could he promise that ds would not have to attend the special ed classes. There is no funding to even provide 1/2 hour of Barton with one of the school aids (all para pros were cut to part time and even the elementry school library will be closed because the staff has been cut). He did say I could pay for someone to come in and tutor ds and maybe he wouldn't have to attend special ed (wasn't sure of the law) or I could come in and help him.:mad:

My ds overherd DH and I talking and he flipped out because he might have to go to special ed again. I just don't know what to do. Things are SO slow right now for DH and the extra money would help us to survive the winter (we don't get unemployment). DH told me to do what I want and that we will be ok if I hs another year. I feel like I am torn between my head (could survive the winter) and my heart (I know hs is best for him).What would you do? I feel like I am going crazy.

[Ottakee]

First of all, this doesn't sounds like a very good special ed program as they don't know the laws very well. IF you decide that you need to send him to school, try to find an advocate (free) that really knows the laws and can help you develop a great IEP.

 

If your dh is really slow, can he do some of the homeschooling or is he working 40 hours right now as well?

 

How much can your son do on his own for school work? If needed (and the laws in your state were OK with it) could he stay with someone while you and dh were both working and then have you do the OG work later in the day?

 

Is this a job that would provide enough money to really make a difference in your finances? Would you enjoy it or would it be terrible?

 

Do you have options of moving to a cheaper home? selling some items? downsizing some things? earning extra money by babysitting or other thing where you could be home with your son but still bring in some money?

 

Just asking some brainstorming questions, no real answers.

[Paisley Hedgehog]

nm

[AHASRADA]

I agree with the PP. This doesn't have to be an all or nothing proposition, IMO. There are working moms who hs, even single working moms who hs. It's not easy, but it can be done.

 

I know when the financial situation went upside down at our house, we all had to completely re-evaluate our roles and let go of our traditional division of labor.

 

I never dreamed dh could do a good job of hsing when I wasn't able to, but he did. It took a lot of work to get him up to speed, and extra planning on my part to spell everything out for him, but he got the hang of it, and was better than me at explaining math. (I still did the OG work myself, though). If your dh agrees that hsing is important enough, he can certainly pick up the slack when you're working, and you can finish up when you get home or on weekends. They may even enjoy more active activities, like science experiments, nature walks/hikes, etc.

 

If his schedule is unpredictable, is there someone who can fill-in childcare when neither of you are home? A grandparent, aunt, neighbor?

 

Does your state law allow for part-time school enrollment? If so, he could attend a few classes that don't "freak him out" , and spend the other half of the day home with dh or another caregiver.

 

I will also add that my dc have stepped up to the plate and taken over a lot of household chores in order for it to be practical to continue homeschooling. If you are working full-time, ds could vacuum and dust, and dh could make dinner.

 

If none of this works out, you can always quit the job later on. Is there a part-time option that would be more practical and still be of benefit financially? At the same time, if a job has fallen in your lap, it seems ill-advised not to take it, but not at the expense of your ds.

 

Hsing seems to be making a huge difference in your son's life. If all 3 of you are (or can get on) the same page, you can make this work.

 

HTH,

[farmgirlinwv]

I work 3 days/week and hs. Do you have someone to stay w/ him while you're at work? If so, hs on nights and weekends. I work and leave independent work for dd to do while I'm gone. If she doesn't understand something, she leaves it til I can help her. It can be done, but it requires good organization and teamwork. Good luck.

[lionfamily1999]

Could dh pick up the hsing slack?

[Stacy in NJ]

Just agreeing with the other posters. This doesn't need to be an all or nothing situaiton. If you feel you need to work, rather than taking the 40 hour per week job, could there be other opportunites to supplement your income but not work full time?

 

It sounds as if your ds is an only, can your dh pick up some of the slack in homeschooling?

 

Can you get a tutor or another homeschooling mom (or dad) to share some responsibilites?

 

I would try to look for a more acceptable alternative than full-time public school for your ds and full-time work for you.

 

Best wishes, this is a tough decision.

[ChristineW]

Find an advocate and get a new IEP. If the current IEP states that your son needs one on one tutoring--the school is legally obligated toprovide one for him. If they can't meet your son's needs, you have the legal right to put him in a private school that can and then demand that the school pay tuition.

 

Christine W

[suzziesnowflake]

My dh schedule is crazy and unpredictable at this point. We're in construction and I don't think I've ever seen dh try so hard to sell jobs. His schedule has always been unpredictable (sometimes he'll work 60 hours and sometimes nothing). I asked him if he would be willing to do hs and he said sure but "I don't know my schedule". I have no one close by I can leave ds with. I have two ds (9&11) and my ds9 goes to public school and is doing ok at best. The plan was to bring them both home to hs. We are lucky because we only have the house and student loan for debt. We already live "bare bones" around here. Dh didn't work for five months which ate up our savings. We are currently saving every little penny that we find on the sidewalk or in the drawer.

 

My ds11 is not a motivated learner. So I can not trust he would beable to do the work on his own even if I left him someone other than me or dh. My parents are willing to pay for curriculum, so that is good. They just live too far away or I am sure they would take him. They are very supportive of hs.

 

My ds11 IEP does not state that he needs one on one tutoring. The psychologist who did the eval on him recommended it along with orton-gillingham. They won't do it because I faught with them for 2 years and nothing. They said they do not have to follow the recommendations the psychologist had if they can provide a program that is for dsylexics (they use read naturally).They say they are providing intervention and it is me that is not willing to accept it. Sorry that's not good enough for him. It seemed they set the IEP goals so low for him that they could say he was making gains so they would not have to pay for him to go somewhere else.(not sure there is anywhere for him to go anyhow because we live in such a rural area)

 

Thanks for all the suggestions and questions because it really has gotten me thinking.

I need to find out:

How much is child care going to cost or after school care?

Can I pay for someone to come in and help him (lady at our church said she would be intrested and she hs her hearing impaired son and did a great job) and what would the cost be?

How much does the job pay (I think a round 12-14 an hour with medical insurance for me only)

Will we have to pay most of it back in taxes because of the business?

The cost of just going to work may out weigh the actual check I get.

Thanks again everyone.

[cjbeach]

I spent 40 min. talking with the director of our "mild VE" unit here. Classes here are mild or moderate. The conversation I had was ludicrous. Laughable actually. My son is on the spectrum. OMG. The school district failed my child completely before, I don't know what I thought would have changed but nothing has changed here, if anything due to budget constraints, it has gotten worse. I'd say get an advocate but to be honest, if they don't have the services.......they don't have it. I know we could get an attorney and "fight for it" but they just don't exist within this county. I can't get blood from a stone.

I wish I had more encouraging words. We are completely upside in our finances and I am so completely frustrated. I really need to return to work f/t.

 

My only option would be to consider another school district, neighboring towns in a different district. I know if I make the 40 min drive to next county that it's a whole different ballgame there and my son would receive plenty of services not even in existance here. Unfortunatley it's just not doable for us right not logistically.But if you could manage it...that would be my only suggestion.

[suzziesnowflake]

cjbeach-I know your pain. I just keep telling myself it will all work out in the end even though it's getting harder to do so.:grouphug:

[PhunandFonics]

Since you are teaching ds using OG, why not tutor other struggling readers? This is what's worked best for us to help make ends meet. Most of the time I haven't had much trouble finding new students and then I work from home and don't have to worry about my kids and paying for daycare. I've been doing this since 2006 and it's worked very well for our family.

[ElizabethB]

Since you are teaching ds using OG, why not tutor other struggling readers?

:iagree:

 

Here is a thread about how to do that, we've lived in a lot of states and there are struggling readers everywhere that need help.

 

http://www.welltrainedmind.com/forums/showthread.php?t=76388

 

Also, the program I use with groups of students, it can also be used more flexibly one-on-one (all free materials!)

 

http://www.thephonicspage.org/On%20Reading/howtotutor.html