Am I being stalked?

[Shelly in IL]

and he found out about it, he would think you were the weird stalker and he would have tales to tell about YOU. That would be the opposite of what you would want to get around, wouldn't it?

 

Also, if he doesn't know about you, I certainly wouldn't want to wave a red flag, shouting, "Here I am!!!." You may stir it all up again.

 

I know what you are talking about - I have someone like that in my past as well. Letting sleeping dogs lie, but with one eye open, may be the best option.

[Impish]

I don't see where you need to be concerned.

[Saille]

My parents sold a huge yellow Plymouth when they lived in Kansas City. Years later, the owner turned up driving it at my Girl Scout Camp in Oklahoma.

 

I moved near dragons in the flower bed at about the same time I wondered who this person was on LibraryThing who had all the same books I had.

 

dh ran into someone on the sidewalk who'd moved here from our small town in Ohio.

 

Last week I found out that a guy at my church (I've known him and his wife for four years) lived in the same tiny Oklahoma panhandle town in which I resided as a small child.

 

I mentioned an old news story about a baby who was named Winston IROC Nascar on my blog. His aunt turned out to be a regular reader...and one of my kids' old swim teachers at the YMCA, from years ago.

[Disney Dreaming]

I'd trust your gut like someone else said. But, that's just me... My gut is hardly ever wrong.

 

Some guys are just creeps and are truly creepy... and some guys DON'T move on just because they get married... Speaking from experience.

 

What you said about him being savvy makes me think he probably knows where you live. It would just take a quick Google search for anyone in the know.

 

And, him calling you after he was engaged, to me, is a red flag saying he HADN'T moved on, at least not at the time of the phone call. If he had moved, he should have been consumed with passion for his new lady, you'd be NOTHING to him, not even worth a phone call.

 

But, it has been a long, long time and you've seen nothing or heard nothing.

 

I don't think you should let this seize you with fear. It could be nothing... Maybe it's just a WEIRD coincidence. I'd just keep a watchful eye out. That's all that's required. If you notice something, then take further steps.

 

PS - I've looked up old boyfriend-types, too, and I'm not a stalker. And, it would freak me out if the weird, overbearing ones were right down the street, too. ;)

 

:iagree:I would be watching anyone around me. Maybe he isn't stalking you BUT since you didn't think he was in the area you wouldn't have been looking for him. He could be stalking you. Being a tekkie(sp?) I think he knows where you are. I also agree that someone who has "moved on" doesn't call you to tell you he is engaged. This just doesn't seem like a coincidence.

[angela in ohio]

It's a smaller world than most people think and coincidence is high. Honestly, I contacted someone here in PA about a business opportunity and she was from the state AND town hubby was from. One of my brothers and I are on no speaking terms...he moved to TX, I moved to PA, I found out from FB that he now lives abt 2hrs from me in NJ...at a beach that I almost went to a few weeks ago (we opted for OC, MD instead that day). It's just the way life is. It's part of the whole 6-Degrees of Separation, I think.

 

I agree. Dh's ex-girlfriend from all through high school ended up as a long-term sub in the classroom NEXT to him, two hours away from their hometown! (Yes, I loved that, but I took my big huge pregnant belly and my cute toddler and marched into that school at least weekly to visit. :D) And my college boyfriend ended up living about five miles south of us in a different town than we went to college. Life is funny!

[mom2denj]

Also, don't feel bad for searching this person's name. If this person had made me really uncomfortable, I would want to know where they were too. :)

:iagree:I agree with both comments! Be cautious! I went through the same thing, and unless you have, you do not know what it is like.

 

I am wondering if maybe he is in the service though. Virginia is a military state, isn't it?

[Happy2BaMom]

And for the record, I had 2 different stalkers, at two different times in two different towns, when I lived in CA — and I never saw either of them. One left notes, and the other would phone me and leave messages saying what I'd been doing that day, what I'd been wearing, who I'd talked to, etc. — enough info that I knew I'd been watched all. day. long. and yet had no idea who it was. So the fact that the OP hasn't "bumped into" this guy doesn't really mean anything, IMO.

 

But the OP has NOT had any notes, messages or any other form of attempted contact from this guy for more than 20 years, which is not at all what you describe. And that does mean something.

 

I think it's safe to assume he's moved on.

 

I don't mean to be harsh, Rebecca - I have been afraid of a semi-stalker before and that fear can stay with you a long, long time (and I don't think it's weird to google people you knew in the past - or if it is, I'm very weird :001_smile:).

 

I wouldn't contact this guy, but I wouldn't worry about it. the vast majority of people do grow up, eventually.

[Guest]

I agree that some of the replies are harsh. You're freaked out and just want to know if it's reasonable or not...

 

:iagree:

 

However, I kinda think it's just a coincidence, or maybe not even the same guy... are you sure it's him? Even if it is him, he may have no idea you are there, and I bet he actually loves his wife, and has moved on. People don't tend to get married for no reason.

 

As far as looking him up, that's not a big deal. With facebook, myspace, etc., it's actually common to look up random people you remember from the past. Sometimes I look up old, random friends on facebook out of boredom, and I have been contacted the same way (old friends randomly looking me up)... no biggie.

[Guest]

Well, if you are being stalked, he is probably reading this, wouldn't you think?:001_huh:

 

:lol: I was imagining the dude reading this too!

 

You make it sound like everybody has a pocketful of them to check out from time to time. :laugh:

 

:lol::lol::lol::lol: