parenting is HARD!

[ktgrok]

I have an almost 11 year old boy, and a 4 month old girl. We've been having behavior issues with ds lately, but things had been better the past two weeks. Well, yesterday the attitude was back in full force. (I think I've been to lax in the schedule, because of summer, and the need to let him unwind after a trying year in public school). So today I gave him the chore of cleaning the trash out of my car so dh could use it to pick up his brother in. TONS of attitude, contradicting, whining, etc. Very disrespectful. When he came back in he continued, so I gave him a list of words to look up on the dictionary, with instructions to write the words, their definition, and use them in a sentence. The words included "authority", "impudence", and "respect". This kind of punishment generally works well for us. Well, today he said he wasn't going to do it. I kept my temper, and told him not to leave his room until he did. He knocked over his chair in anger, so I took the chair. He punched his door, then tried to pull it off it's hinges, so I unscrewed it and took the door. He yelled he was hungry (less than an hour after breakfast) over and over. I told him he could eat as soon as he finished the work I gave him. He said he would do it after he ate. I explained it didn't work that way. He said he would do just the definitions, not the sentences. I said no,you will do exactly what I told you to do. He continued to complain of hunger. I said well, as soon as you are done you can eat. HOURS later he wrote his own definitions, but no sentences and didn't copy the words and didn't use the dictionary. He was sent back to do it again. This time he didn't have the sentences but the rest was good. I sent him back one more time, and he finally did it!!!!! It took ALL morning and almost until 1pm, but he did it. I'm exhausted,and my house isn't clean, but I'm hoping that this time was well invested. UGH!

[Jean in Newcastle]

:grouphug: Somehow at this age we have to set the boundaries all over again, don't we? Good for you for sticking to your guns.

 

P.S. Does he have some protein at breakfast?

[Parrothead]

:grouphug: Good for you for not caving.

[Granny_Weatherwax]

Yes, it is!

 

:grouphug:

[Guest ToGMom]

:grouphug:

 

Consistency is the key...keep up the good (but hard) work!! :)

[elfgivas]

you're right, parenting is hard, and not for cowards. :grouphug::grouphug:

you stuck to your rules, and that is soooo good (and so hard to do).

we found that taking away media for varying lengths of time works well for our dc. activities that have multiple parts don't work so well for us.

so i say "that was a rude remark. if it happens again, you will lose media (computers and videos) until lunch/dinner/tomorrow." and then if it does, they do.

 

every once in a while, one of them goes off the deep end, and loses media for a week.... then, they can come to me and propose activities to earn part of it back. these are usuallly house cleaning/chore types of things.

 

hth,

ann

[specialmama]

Good for you, mom!!! I've done similar things with my dd and it is never a waste of time. When we, as parents, see the fruit and reward of all our hard work, it is sooo worth it! Hang in there! You're doing a great job!