Jean in Newcastle Posted May 29, 2010 Share Posted May 29, 2010 This is a pre-vent of sorts (get the pun?:D) My dd8 is in level 4 (first level of team) gymnastics. There are about 30 other girls at this level. They all work well together except for one overly enthusiastic little girl who is going to get someone seriously hurt. On Wed. this little girl pushed my dd onto her knees on the concrete floor because she wasn't going fast enough to get to the drinking fountain. It was an impulsive move, not a consciously mean one. The coach took her aside and talked to her. My dd has bruised knees but is fine. On Friday, this little girl did not follow the rules but impulsively ran across the runway where my dd was sprinting up to the vault. My dd had to skid to a stop to keep from hurting this girl and ended up spraining her toe in the process. Again, the coach did take the girl aside and talked to her. I'm worried though that next time it could be worse. And for some reason it always seems to be my dd who gets in the way! I'm not sure why I'm typing this out. The coaches do know that this girl is a loose cannon and are trying to keep everyone safe. It isn't directed toward my dd at all - she just happened to be there when this girl had an impulse. I guess my question is should I say something to the mom who is in the "chat in a friendly but light manner while we watch the girls in gymnastics" category? (I'm leaning against this) or for those of you who know sports and esp. gymnastics, would it be ok to tell my dd to make sure she's never next in line to her? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted May 29, 2010 Share Posted May 29, 2010 Since the coaches seem to be handling it, I wouldn't say anything to the parent. I would have dd be more aware of her position in relation to the girl. If your dd is confident, maybe she could say something to the other girl, when she gets too close. Something silly, not meant to harm, but to just let her know to back off. I would also ask the coach for suggestions. Ask if there is something that he/she sees dd doing that puts her in line for the unintentional behavior. Some kids seem to become victims just by being the nice one, or by being the kid who likes to be friends to everyone. They are friends with the kids that others avoid, and this leads them to be in the way for the unintentional bully. DS was this way, and it wasn't until he learned to keep the bruisers at arms length, that he stopped getting hurt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted May 30, 2010 Author Share Posted May 30, 2010 It sounds like she is pretty impulsive. Talking to mom would really only serve to make the mom feel badly. She can't really do anything to prevent issues except for leaving the gym. My guess is that this little fire-ball was enrolled in gymnastics to burn off some of that extra energy. Yes, the girl is impulsive! And yes, she was enrolled to burn off some of that extra energy. And I agree that the mom can't do anything. We haven't even seen what happened because from where we sit we can't see every single thing that goes on in the big gym. I'm sorry your dd got hurt and I know it's not fair at all, I just don't see a resolution unless you are asking that the girl be removed form the team. It stinks though. And no, I wouldn't ask that the girl be removed from the team. Maybe if she were mean and spiteful and was out to hurt others, but not in this case. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted May 30, 2010 Author Share Posted May 30, 2010 Since the coaches seem to be handling it, I wouldn't say anything to the parent. I would have dd be more aware of her position in relation to the girl. If your dd is confident, maybe she could say something to the other girl, when she gets too close. Something silly, not meant to harm, but to just let her know to back off. I would also ask the coach for suggestions. Ask if there is something that he/she sees dd doing that puts her in line for the unintentional behavior. Some kids seem to become victims just by being the nice one, or by being the kid who likes to be friends to everyone. They are friends with the kids that others avoid, and this leads them to be in the way for the unintentional bully. DS was this way, and it wasn't until he learned to keep the bruisers at arms length, that he stopped getting hurt. I think she was the victim both of these times because she was next to her in line, not because she is doing something even unintentionally. The first time, she was ahead of the girl in line and got pushed because the girl didn't think the line was going fast enough and she was thirsty. The second time, she was behind the girl in line so the girl ran across the runway when her turn was over but it was dd's turn. I might mention to dd that if there is a choice, to just try and stay a couple kids ahead or behind this girl. . . I wonder if others have been hurt in similar small ways - we wouldn't necessarily know. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommy22alyns Posted May 30, 2010 Share Posted May 30, 2010 Talking to mom would really only serve to make the mom feel badly. She can't really do anything to prevent issues except for leaving the gym. My guess is that this little fire-ball was enrolled in gymnastics to burn off some of that extra energy. :iagree: I'd go so far as to say that Becca was probably the impulsive one when she first enrolled in gymnastics (at age 3). Now she has matured and is also in level 4. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandamom Posted May 30, 2010 Share Posted May 30, 2010 My dd9 is a level 5 so I can relate. I'm not sure what I would do. I think that I might tell my daughter to try and be aware of where the girl is but to not necessarily avoid her in line because I wouldn't want my daughter to exclude a teammate. I can also see my impulsive daughter saying "well my mom told me to stay away from you", which would not have been what I meant. It sounds as if you are in a difficult situation. I hope that things calm down some. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted May 30, 2010 Author Share Posted May 30, 2010 I can also see my impulsive daughter saying "well my mom told me to stay away from you", which would not have been what I meant. :eek: I would definitely not want her to say that! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MariannNOVA Posted May 30, 2010 Share Posted May 30, 2010 My son in law is a gymnastics coach (G-d bless him) -- you should just mention it to your dd's coaches -- and of course, let them know that you have seen them address the issue satisfactorily and you appreciate it (gymnastics coaches - the good ones - are over the top about safety) and ask them if they have any suggestions on what you can do on your end to prevent (yes, that was cute:D) another 'incident.' HTH (is your gym hiring? -- d-sil would LOVE to coach full time again) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MamaT Posted May 30, 2010 Share Posted May 30, 2010 (edited) It sounds like she is pretty impulsive. Talking to mom would really only serve to make the mom feel badly. She can't really do anything to prevent issues except for leaving the gym. My guess is that this little fire-ball was enrolled in gymnastics to burn off some of that extra energy. :iagree: My dd is in Level 7. It takes some girls longer than others to learn gym protocol/safety rules. Hopefully, she will catch on soon. I agree that you probably shouldn't talk to the mom, and just let the coaches handle it as long as they are making an effort. I would caution my dd to be "aware" of the other girl. Edited May 30, 2010 by MamaT typo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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