food allergies.. why am I posting on this board?

[cdgni]

Am I unreasonable?

 

DD is very intelligent. However, she is only 10 years old. I need some ideas on what I'm to do with this child who has special dietary needs.

I will begin by saying that she is not diabetic. She may be gluten or dairy or wheat intolerant--unknown but she has had severe reflux and now is beginning to exhibit signs of IBS. We will do allergy testing this summer when we are back in the states.

 

She has many things that she can't eat and if she eats them, she will be physically ill with vomiting and a upset stomach.

 

Can I expect my 10 year old to know that something will make her ill? (we have good ideas of what causes the problems, but the list isn't perfect yet.)

 

If she eats what we both know will be problematic, am I to be sympathetic?

 

The problem is that I am not! I'm tired of her making bad choices, and I think she must learn on her own. It's her stomach. I won't always be present to watch what she eats. However, I feel like I'm being cold towards her when I don't give her sympathy.

 

How does her eating poorly affect me? She can't do any work because she is miserable. She becomes incredibly clingy. Her eyes and her frequent vomiting tell me she's not faking.

 

I want to be the supportive mother, but I also feel like being supportive means saying DD you have a life time condition regardless of how you like it. Learn to live with what you can and can't eat. Don't push limits.

 

And if she pushes limits.. what should I do as a repercussion?

 

Sorry.. this is sort of a accelerated issue and sort of a special needs issue. She's got a really good head on her shoulders, but her stomach issues have me very frustrated.

[wapiti]

Maybe it depends on how long the list is and how difficult it may be for her to know whether what she is eating contains the items. But the more obvious ones, yes I think she can be expected to know them and to deal with the consequences of eating them, if she eats them knowing that they're on her list.

 

I have a ds with a peanut allergy. Granted, it's only one food, but he is definitely aware of it and in fact will freak out about even being near peanut-containing foods - he understands the first part of the issue, that the food will make him sick and could even kill him. He doesn't always remember to read labels, however (he just turned 7). It's hit or miss as to whether he'll ask if a food contains nuts before eating it (say, a cupcake or donut. Cookies and candy he's a lot more careful about). I think he just forgets sometimes because the issue doesn't come up that often (we don't have any such products in the house, and his classroom is nut-free, and he's an extremely picky eater to begin with).

 

At 10 y.o., I think your dd is old enough to take a more active role in preventing herself from feeling sick. Indeed, it's a life skill that she'll need to acquire, the sooner the better, and I think she's old enough to shoulder a good burden of the responsibility. Give her the list, on a small card perhaps, along with common ingredient names, if she is sensitive to even small amounts. I think the FAAN website even sells small cards (credit card size) for various allergies, that she could keep in her backpack or purse.

 

I think this issue is more one of practice. The more she does it (questions whether a food item would be problematic for her) the easier it will become. It's annoying at first to learn how to censor what one eats.

 

As for consequences, I think the sick stomach is enough.

 

that's my two cents!

[cdgni]

 

As for consequences, I think the sick stomach is enough.

 

that's my two cents!

 

I know that should be enough. But she went out and played yesterday, bought what was a possible problem and didn't wait until the weekend to consume it. And then was too sick to do her math.

 

I realize that I need to be compassionate, but I don't want to encourage her foolishness either. I fully recognize that I don't have a food allergy and it's easy for me to say learn and adjust- since I'm not the one suffering.

[Joyful]

I'm so sorry that you are going through a tough time. :grouphug:

 

DS8 has some food allergies that have been confirmed by testing at the allergist's office. He is very vigilant about it because he really doesn't like how he feels when he has an allergic reaction - he reads all labels (sometimes I forget, yeah, bad mom...) and if something smells or tastes suspicious of the foods that he's allergic to, he won't eat it. However, sometimes, the curiosity to try the taste of something overcomes him. Thankfully, he will always ask me, and generally will comply when I say "no".

 

My dd had a lot of issues with food refusal as a toddler. Because of it, she lost quite a bit of weight. After seeing the pediatrician and some other specialists, we found out that she had reflux and food allergies! Along with treating the reflux and avoiding certain foods, we saw the "feeding team." They really helped me figure out how to help dd in terms of the behavioral aspects of things.

 

Sorry for telling you such a long story of my experience with my kids. But this is all to suggest that maybe you could consider seeing an allergist and/or GI specialist to help pinpoint the foods that she is allergic to, and to see if there are other GI issues. Also, maybe you could also consult a pediatric "feeding team". They can help advise you as to how to respond when your dd when she gets sick from eating things she knows she shouldn't (in a way that won't exacerbate the behavior). They can also help your dd come up with a plan about how to be more careful in avoiding the "problematic" foods.

 

I hope some of this helps.

[abbeyej]

I guess I tend towards being a bit unsympathetic myself.

 

My oldest had a number of food allergies as a small child, and they were finally identified at age four, after he ended up in the ER. He was *very* responsible about what he ate from that moment on. So yes, kids *can* be. In part it was his personality, in part it was the fear from having ended up so ill, and in part it was just seeing how much better he felt when we took all of those allergens (nuts, seeds, gluten, eggs, corn, dairy, legumes, apples, strawberries, avocado, etc) ... But he read labels (so convenient at that point to have an early reader!), asked questions, and didn't take risks. So it can be done.

 

I think with regard to the math or other work your dd is "too sick" to do, I would take away other free time or fun time to make up for the unfinished work. "I'm sorry you were too ill to get your work done on Monday. Unfortunately it means you can't go with your friend on Saturday, 'cause you have work to complete." I could be sympathetic with the discomfort while at the same time requiring that she make up any missed work (just as I would with dawdling or choosing any other immediate gratification over completing responsibilities).

[Misty]

Please be aware that gluten and dairy issues usually will not show up on a regular allergy test.. Food intolerances or sensitivities rarely test positive on allergy testing.. You will need to do IgG antibody testing (blood serum test) in addition to the regular allergy tests that your pediatrician or allergist will run. My daughter (almost 7) was negative to everything on the skin test, on the IgE blood test (anaphylactic-type allergies), and the IgA (celiac screen).. but her IgG was outrageously high for gluten, all dairy (casein, whey, etc.) and soybeans. She has multiple diagnoses and is on the autism spectrum.. We had a diet infraction (dairy) yesterday for Easter and today has been a living hell.. She was doing FANTASTIC up until then.. Now I am kicking myself for allowing that chocolate!!

 

We used Great Plains Labs http://www.greatplainslaboratory.com Very pleased with the results! Our insurance paid every penny.. You need to do the IgG blood serum that tests for 93 different foods. I had all three of my daughters tested and I was shocked to find out that my 2nd daughter's highest food sensitivity was eggs! As soon as I took the eggs out of her diet, the motor tics finally stopped! It was amazing. I never would have thought to do that without these test results. Gluten was her 2nd highest reaction and dairy was 3rd. She has Asperger's and a highly gifted IQ.. I don't know why but this tends to be common in gifted kids for whatever reason..

 

Some doctors will do an IgG, but most still do not understand (or know) about the connection between gut and brain.. They will think that the IgE & IgA will catch anything significant. Not so. Someone who is gluten intolerant will not test positive on a celiac screen. They are what you call a non-celiac gluten intolerant. Be your child's expert and advocate! No one else can be your child's expert.. Only you. Good luck!

[cdgni]

We used Great Plains Labs http://www.greatplainslaboratory.com Very pleased with the results! Our insurance paid every penny.. You need to do the IgG blood serum that tests for 93 different foods. I had all three of my daughters tested and I was shocked to find out that my 2nd daughter's highest food sensitivity was eggs! As soon as I took the eggs out of her diet, the motor tics finally stopped! It was amazing. I never would have thought to do that without these test results. Gluten was her 2nd highest reaction and dairy was 3rd. She has Asperger's and a highly gifted IQ.. I don't know why but this tends to be common in gifted kids for whatever reason..

 

Some doctors will do an IgG, but most still do not understand (or know) about the connection between gut and brain.. They will think that the IgE & IgA will catch anything significant. Not so. Someone who is gluten intolerant will not test positive on a celiac screen. They are what you call a non-celiac gluten intolerant. Be your child's expert and advocate! No one else can be your child's expert.. Only you. Good luck!

 

Thank you! We will be back in the states in two months and we will do the tests then. Can any doctor order the IgG? I'm thinking that I need to see a naturopath?

[Tracy]

Although I can't comment on your specific problems with allergies, I have had some experience in dealing with behavior issues. My instinct is to reward the good behavior rather than punish the undesirable behavior. She may very well be eating poorly just to get your attention. If that is the case, then withdrawing your attention is only going to exacerbate her behavior rather than resolve it. You need to set something up where she gets a reward for eating properly. The frequency of the reward will depend on the frequency of the behavior. The reward has to be frequent enough to guarantee substantial success. Figure out what motivates her, and tell her that after "x" amount of time, if she has eaten properly, she will get "y". You can even set up different levels of rewards--a small daily reward and a larger weekly reward, for example. Possible rewards could include special time with a parent, screen time, money or a special gift, a field trip, etc.

 

It sounds like she has a tough road ahead, and she it is just hard for her to do. This will help her to feel positive about her condition and learning to live with it.

 

Tracy

[MelanieM]

One thing to remember is that people often have physical addiction to items they are allergic to; the body can crave what is bad for it, which seems to be especially true with gluten or sugar. (Maybe others, but those are the ones I'm more familiar with.) So if she's choosing the same types of foods again and again, even knowing she shouldn't, I would consider that she might be battling some pretty strong physical urges and perhaps she needs more support until she can purge herself of that. And the best form of support would be keeping the foods out of reach as much as possible until some healing can occur to help support the ability to decline the temptation.

 

This is a timely thread for me: this morning I had to throw out all the Easter candy that was aggravating my almost 5 yo because he got into the stash when I wasn't looking, even though we'd had several conversations about why he shouldn't eat it and what it was doing to his body. Then I ate some chocolates that I know are giving *me* issues, even though I know I shouldn't have.

 

It's easy to say "don't eat something that's bad for you" but that's a hard thing even for adults. I'm not surprised it's an issue for kids.

[Misty]

One thing to remember is that people often have physical addiction to items they are allergic to; the body can crave what is bad for it, which seems to be especially true with gluten or sugar. (Maybe others, but those are the ones I'm more familiar with.) So if she's choosing the same types of foods again and again, even knowing she shouldn't, I would consider that she might be battling some pretty strong physical urges and perhaps she needs more support until she can purge herself of that. And the best form of support would be keeping the foods out of reach as much as possible until some healing can occur to help support the ability to decline the temptation.

 

:iagree:

My daughter was completely addicted to milk and crackers.. The two things she was most intolerant to. It was ALL she would eat. Feeding therapy did nothing for her. She craved the crackers and the milk and the sugar so badly.

 

What happens is the peptides from gluten and casein interact with the opiate receptors of the brain, which allows them to mimic the affects of opiate drugs. The child becomes addicted to gluten and/or milk.. (and sugar).. If this is the case, it would be impossible for your daughter to self-regulate her eating habits. You have to take complete control until she has healed from the damage these foods have caused.

 

You can do a peptides test with Great Plains Labs as well.. Sometimes it's good to do both the IgG and the peptides test (urine test).

[Misty]

Thank you! We will be back in the states in two months and we will do the tests then. Can any doctor order the IgG? I'm thinking that I need to see a naturopath?

 

Yes, any doctor can order it.. The trick is convincing the doctor to do so! Our DAN (defeat autism now) doctor ordered it and signed it for my youngest daughter. He does it with all his autism patients. My other two girls do not see a DAN doctor, so I had to convince our pediatrician to sign it, which she did. A naturopath would be a good option if you cannot get your pediatrician to sign it.

[cdgni]

Thank you all again.

 

I will be back in the States soon and will make an appointment. I need a doctor who not only will order the test but can help interpret them correctly.

 

It's very difficult because we don't know factually everything that causes problems. We do have a list of foods that I believe causes the problems, but not confirmed.

[Reya]

Most ADULTS can figure this out without an elimination diet.

 

Try it. See what's hurting her--then you can avoid it in the future.

 

Allergy testing alone is notoriously unreliable with many false positives. And the celiac blood test can have both false positive and false negatives. They're best for confirming a diagnosis rather than originating them.

 

(Neither my son nor I actually have food allergies or sensitivities, but I react to chocolate in skin tests, and he does to egg._

[cdgni]

Most ADULTS can figure this out without an elimination diet.

 

Try it. See what's hurting her--then you can avoid it in the future.

 

Allergy testing alone is notoriously unreliable with many false positives. And the celiac blood test can have both false positive and false negatives. They're best for confirming a diagnosis rather than originating them.

 

(Neither my son nor I actually have food allergies or sensitivities, but I react to chocolate in skin tests, and he does to egg._

 

You are absolutely correct that adults can figure it out. Unfortunately, my daughter won't believe her own body reactions. I need something that I can show her that says you are allergic to x, y and z. This why is you feel clammy, hot, bloated etc when you eat what ever. She doesn't want to believe she's allergic. I want proof. At this point, I'd take a few false positives for now. I don't want to be the bad guy- I'd rather have the piece of paper the bad guy restricting her diet.

[JudyJudyJudy]

I'll be the sympathetic one of the bunch. I personally think 10 is too young to expect to take on so much responsibility in terms of food.

 

Both my son (11) and I have numerous food allergies. He has life-threatening allergies (peanuts and tree nuts) and others that just make him sick and miserable (nausea, diarrhea, atopic dermatitis, etc.). He knows without a doubt to avoid the ones that could kill him (believe it or not, it's easier to learn that at age 4 than at age 10). However, the others are more tempting, and I totally understand.

 

I myself continued to eat foods that I knew made me sick for a long time. Why? Partly because it was hard to create meals that were free of my allergens but primarily because I was never well enough to see the huge difference between how I felt when I did and did not eat them. It took me getting severely ill (not just from food allergies but also chemical sensitivities) to make myself stop eating the foods to which I knew I was allergic. Although I didn't have the more obvious reactions when I first eliminated the foods (like vomiting and diarrhea), during the first week and a half or so, I actually felt worse overall than I did before. Basically, my body had to detox. It wasn't easy to stick with it, and I was a 42-year-old woman (I'm now 43). It's a very hard diet. I can't eat any convenience foods. I have to prepare all meals at home. I can't eat away from home unless I take my own food. It's hard. After I eliminated the things I knew I was allergic to and started feeling better, I then was able to figure out other things to which I react. Now I feel so much better that it's simply not worth eating something I shouldn't, but it took me a while to get to that point.

 

She's a kid, so it's even harder for her to really make the connection. She needs guidance. I truly think you should work more with her. Make sure she has suitable meals and snacks to eat. Don't allow her to buy junk that she's not supposed to eat. Make that the "crime," not the eating of the food. It's not easy, but with proper guidance, she can get used to eating right, and both of your lives will be better.

[JudyJudyJudy]

You are absolutely correct that adults can figure it out. Unfortunately, my daughter won't believe her own body reactions. I need something that I can show her that says you are allergic to x, y and z. This why is you feel clammy, hot, bloated etc when you eat what ever. She doesn't want to believe she's allergic. I want proof. At this point, I'd take a few false positives for now. I don't want to be the bad guy- I'd rather have the piece of paper the bad guy restricting her diet.

I can understand that. Even though ds knows he could die from peanuts and tree nuts, he recently asked me to take him to be tested again to see if he's still allergic. Basically, he wants to see the numbers.

 

Ds has only had IgE testing, but if you can get the IgG testing done, I highly recommend it. If you don't get answers from testing, it could mean that she doesn't have a true allergy, but a sensitivity. Sensitivities can be bad, too, though. I'd just have to be the bad guy and restrict her diet.

 

What foods do you think are problems for her?

[MelanieM]

You are absolutely correct that adults can figure it out. Unfortunately, my daughter won't believe her own body reactions. I need something that I can show her that says you are allergic to x, y and z. This why is you feel clammy, hot, bloated etc when you eat what ever. She doesn't want to believe she's allergic. I want proof. At this point, I'd take a few false positives for now. I don't want to be the bad guy- I'd rather have the piece of paper the bad guy restricting her diet.

 

If you're looking for proof of something you already know, as a way to help her see that she needs to avoid these things, then I don't think conventional allergy tests is the way to go. Chances are good those tests can come back saying she's fine, and then she'll not believe you at all, and then what will you say to help convince her? Better to find a naturopath or other alternative health care provider who is more likely to look for proof in ways other than an allergy test.

 

I know a really fabulous homeopath who deals with nutrition, if you're interested. She works remotely, so you can have an assessment via email or telephone. PM me if you'd like her contact info. (Actually, here's her website: http://taylorhomeopathy.com)

[Misty]

If you're looking for proof of something you already know, as a way to help her see that she needs to avoid these things, then I don't think conventional allergy tests is the way to go. Chances are good those tests can come back saying she's fine, and then she'll not believe you at all, and then what will you say to help convince her? Better to find a naturopath or other alternative health care provider who is more likely to look for proof in ways other than an allergy test.

 

This is what the IgG test is for.. This is what naturopaths will use to find the hidden food intolerances/sensitivities.. It's not an exact science, but it is very informative and helpful and it picks up on all the food issues that regular allergy tests will not find.

 

My daughter tested negative on all the mainstream allergy tests.. But the IgG found all her intolerances and sensitivities.. She is doing better now without those foods in her diet.

[abbeyej]

Most ADULTS can figure this out without an elimination diet.

That depends. For those with multiple allergies or sensitivities working together, elimination diets can be nothing but frustrating. I think it's worth trying, but they can also be just as misleading and frustrating as skin and blood tests. Use all the tools at your disposal. Unfortunately though, none of them are perfect.

 

Allergy testing alone is notoriously unreliable with many false positives.

Blood tests have fewer false positives than skin tests.

[Desert Rat]

For my 7yo, who we recently found out is very allergic to tree nuts, we had a celebration after he made it 30 days reaction free. We had a fun day at that park with a picnic lunch and a Sprite! He loved it and it was incentive to help us help him watch what he was eating. It's all new to us and learning to read labels and all the tricky things that are just "processed in a plant that processes" was tough at first. Our biggest shocker was the generic kool-aid mix from Walmart that we can no longer use. :(

This idea may work for your dd as well. A month might be too long but a week may be doable. I prefer to reward positive behavior and agree with a pp that the stomach woes would be enough of a punishment.

I think an important strategy also is to make her responsible for her illness (which I think you are already doing). Both boys have asthma and I've always made them feel that asthma doesn't control them, they have power over it. I let them decide if they need a breathing treatment when they start wheezing. Of course, I hold veto power, but I try to give them control when I can. I treat this food allergy the same. He laments that he hates it, especially around holidays concerning chocolate, like Easter. I let him mourn a bit and the show him all the wonderful things he got in his basket that are all his and all safe for him to eat. It's tough to deal with this stuff, but I think he's coping very well. It's only been 5 months.

How frustrating this situation must be for you! I'm so sorry you're going through this and hope you get some answers when you had back stateside in a few months.

[Siebelink6]

I just wanted to put in that I completely agree with Misty with regards to the severe issues around gluten, dairy and other food allergies. None of my children's food allergies showed up on the "normal" allergy test, but they were all very sensitive and sick. We used Great Plains Laboratory as well. The craving is real and needs additional help beyond what a child can reasonable handle. We went through this with 2 children. Homeschooling helps tremendously in setting up a new diet.

 

I put myself and my kids on the same gluten/dairy free and all other allergy food-free diet. We were a support for each other and it forced me to cook lots of good food!

 

Dr. John Hicks was an immense support at www.pathwaysmed.com. We received lots of help over the phone and by web chats without visiting his home office.

 

Hope your daughter is doing better,

Lisa

[Reya]

You are absolutely correct that adults can figure it out. Unfortunately, my daughter won't believe her own body reactions. I need something that I can show her that says you are allergic to x, y and z. This why is you feel clammy, hot, bloated etc when you eat what ever. She doesn't want to believe she's allergic. I want proof. At this point, I'd take a few false positives for now. I don't want to be the bad guy- I'd rather have the piece of paper the bad guy restricting her diet.

 

Er. Sorry. I meant to write CAN'T.

 

Good grief! :-PPPP

 

Seriously, most adults CAN'T figure it out without an elimination diet if it's a multiple-allergy situation.

[skaterbabs]

There's also a grieving process to consider. If she's learning that X food she really loves is making her sick, she must grieve the loss of that food. One of the stages of grief is denial and at 10 that stage can last a long time.

[songbirdie]

I would explain in advance that since she is intelligent enough to know the list of things she shouldn't eat, and she chooses to eat one of those things on a school day which prevents her from doing her work, then she'll have to do the work she missed on Saturday. It may be tough for you to have to do it a couple of times, but I'd think it wouldn't take more than 1 or 2 Saturdays for her to take responsibility for it the next time.

[NoPlaceLikeHome]

Am I unreasonable?

 

DD is very intelligent. However, she is only 10 years old. I need some ideas on what I'm to do with this child who has special dietary needs.

I will begin by saying that she is not diabetic. She may be gluten or dairy or wheat intolerant--unknown but she has had severe reflux and now is beginning to exhibit signs of IBS. We will do allergy testing this summer when we are back in the states.

 

She has many things that she can't eat and if she eats them, she will be physically ill with vomiting and a upset stomach.

 

Can I expect my 10 year old to know that something will make her ill? (we have good ideas of what causes the problems, but the list isn't perfect yet.)

 

If she eats what we both know will be problematic, am I to be sympathetic?

 

The problem is that I am not! I'm tired of her making bad choices, and I think she must learn on her own. It's her stomach. I won't always be present to watch what she eats. However, I feel like I'm being cold towards her when I don't give her sympathy.

 

How does her eating poorly affect me? She can't do any work because she is miserable. She becomes incredibly clingy. Her eyes and her frequent vomiting tell me she's not faking.

 

I want to be the supportive mother, but I also feel like being supportive means saying DD you have a life time condition regardless of how you like it. Learn to live with what you can and can't eat. Don't push limits.

 

And if she pushes limits.. what should I do as a repercussion?

 

Sorry.. this is sort of a accelerated issue and sort of a special needs issue. She's got a really good head on her shoulders, but her stomach issues have me very frustrated.

 

IMHO I think 10 is too young to be considered fully responsible for your choices. Does she attend school where she can make all of these choices? My ds has severe food allergies, but I prepare and decide everything that passes his lips. I give him some choices, but I still call the shots with food and I recommend you do the same if possible until she is old enough to understand.

 

I also would consider teaching her everyday as re-enforcement about what she should not eat, checking ingredients, and so on since it may take years for this to sink in even if she is smart since she is still a kid IMHO.

 

Teens are most at risk for eating allergens actually and I don't think it is a disobedience thing, but a lapse of memory thing:( I agree that you will not always be with her, but with food allergies I think it may take years to teach them to keep themselves safe. I teach my ds everyday whenever there is a possibility of someone offering him food to not accept it and say "no thanks" but he still has lapses even though he is super smart.

 

This site has lots of useful info:)

 

http://www.foodallergy.org/