What do when I want to HS and DH does not?

[SweetPea]

I've been reading these boards for awhile and am now really wanting to hs. I've gotten great ideas and love the seeing how everyone tailors their dc education.

 

Here's my story: My ds is currently enrolled to attend a private christian school next year for K. I really feel like I should be homeschooling him. Economically it would be a good choice. And, I think that not only would I enjoy it, but it would provide him a great foundation. I really like the idea of homeschooling through at least 3rd grade.

 

Anyone here had a spouse who had other plans and you changed his mind? I think he thinks I'm being fickle and wouldl be bouncing him in and out of schools........ Not sure where that idea comes from.

 

Any suggestions would be appreciated!

[newlifemom]

I've been reading these boards for awhile and am now really wanting to hs. I've gotten great ideas and love the seeing how everyone tailors their dc education.

 

Here's my story: My ds is currently enrolled to attend a private christian school next year for K. I really feel like I should be homeschooling him. Economically it would be a good choice. And, I think that not only would I enjoy it, but it would provide him a great foundation. I really like the idea of homeschooling through at least 3rd grade.

 

Anyone here had a spouse who had other plans and you changed his mind? I think he thinks I'm being fickle and wouldl be bouncing him in and out of schools........ Not sure where that idea comes from.

 

Any suggestions would be appreciated!

 

First thing is pray. I see you have your son in a Christian school so I am assuming you are a Christian. Pray.

 

Second, don't harp. My dh was not into hsing. He was raised by educators and believed in ps whole heartedly.

 

Third, Perhaps you can make a deal with him. My dh agreed to let me do K b/c it wasn't legally mandated in our state. He figured, how bad can you screw up K and even I did, it could be easily undone. Half-way through the year he was convinced and we really haven't looked back.

 

Now, I was lucky in that my oldest learned to read very quickly with little problems. Had it been my son, well . . . .:D

 

We started for academic reasons and continue for that and so many more now.

 

I know others here will also give you great advice on how to approach and using pros and cons, etc. I'll leave that the them as I didn't need to do that with dh.

 

Here's hoping.:001_smile:

[creekmom]

I think it's pretty normal for dhs to not be "on board" with hsing- at first. My husband thought hs kids were weird, but let me do it for a "couple of years" bc ds had a speech problem and we didn't want him to feel left out at school. Well, this is my 6th year, and I am totally amazed how supportive dh is!! (BTW, he is a public school teacher!) I never thought he'd let me do it past 1st grade, but now he wants me to continue through middle school. Some of the benefits that have changed dh's mind are: flexibility with vacations and schedules, tighter bonds with siblings, none of the kids know who Brittany Spears is, kids are not into latest fashions/fads, etc., kids are scoring extremely well on tests, kids love to read, I'm able to tailor each child's education to his/her needs, I know how to motivate them, etc. etc. etc.!! I would ask dh to let you do a "trial run" and see how it goes.

Good luck!!:001_smile:

[LauraQ]

Suggest a one-year trial, and remind him you can't completely screw up a kid in one year, especially when that year is K or 1st grade. But commit to the entire year in order to reassure him the kid won't be bouncing around too much. There are people who only ever commit to one more year of HSing at a time, even though they are into the high school years.

[....]

My entire extended family ferociously ganged up on me about homeschooling.

 

I did a "trial" over the summer - we started homeschooling the week after school was out. You can't complain about results! :D My husband was impressed and that was the end of it.

 

One year later, we are soooo much more efficient and the kids have learned a lot - especially the boy who was failing miserably in ps. Next year will probably be even better, now that I've gotten better at this! :tongue_smilie:

 

Keep in mind that there is a period of time where the kids have to switch gears from learning in a classroom environment to learning one-on-one with a parent. We had a lot of resistance at first, but it goes away after they get used to it (the first day, my son threw himself on the floor, screamed, got up, ran to his room and slammed the door). The expectations are a lot higher when they can't sit among 20 other students and fade into the wallpaper.

[Peela]

Yes, it's common. My dh didn't come on board until a particular set of circumstances made him consider it. Dsthen7 was in 2nd grade and really struggling at school and basically falling between the cracks, and he was becoming so angry and unhappy. I realised homeschooling was what he needed...I needed dh on board...I printed out lots of articles on the benefits of homescholing...and I kept talking to dh about it, unrelentlessly...answering all his doubts...he eventually agreed to a 6 month trial. He didnt kn w I was capable of it. He thought I might be flakey. He was conditioned that school is the only way, jsut like most people. BUt he had a leap of faith and let me try...and within 2 weeks, literally, he insisted we take our daughter out of school too!

[C_l_e_0..Q_c]

It's very important that DH backs you in this adventure. The trial period is probably the best thing to do, as others have mentionned.

For us, our first year was a long distance school. DH felt more secure that way. Once the year was over, I was able to convince him that the long distance school was not a good fit. DS then 6 was all over in his development, and couldn't handle a regular class. Basically we were having the same problem as if he were in school.

But the long distance schooling did a lot to calm our fears that first year.

[babysparkler]

First thing is pray. I see you have your son in a Christian school so I am assuming you are a Christian. Pray.

 

Second, don't harp. My dh was not into hsing. He was raised by educators and believed in ps whole heartedly.

 

Third, Perhaps you can make a deal with him. My dh agreed to let me do K b/c it wasn't legally mandated in our state. He figured, how bad can you screw up K and even I did, it could be easily undone. Half-way through the year he was convinced and we really haven't looked back.

 

Now, I was lucky in that my oldest learned to read very quickly with little problems. Had it been my son, well . . . .:D

 

We started for academic reasons and continue for that and so many more now.

 

I know others here will also give you great advice on how to approach and using pros and cons, etc. I'll leave that the them as I didn't need to do that with dh.

 

Here's hoping.:001_smile:

 

:iagree:

 

Also, sit and talk with DH and find out what his hang-ups are. Work through those and ask for a trial period so you can show him that his concerns are unfounded.

[SweetPea]

Thanks for all your suggestions. I have enough information to sit down and show my dh what kindergarten would look like. I am also going to do a test run with my ds starting the week after Easter. I have until June 1 to prove myself!

[Crimson Wife]

Suggest a one-year trial, and remind him you can't completely screw up a kid in one year, especially when that year is K or 1st grade. But commit to the entire year in order to reassure him the kid won't be bouncing around too much. There are people who only ever commit to one more year of HSing at a time

 

Yeah, that would be my DH. He recently committed to the upcoming school year, which will be our 4th.

[Susan in TN]

Yes, definitely pray. Especially that God will change either your heart, or dh's, so you can move along being of one mind.

 

My dh wasn't sold on homeschooling at all. I did my best not to whine or complain, but was eventually able to convince him that one year of homeschooling (Kindergarden) would not destroy ds's life or education. I promised to take it one year at a time. Even one semester, if that's what it came to. 9 years later, we're still at it, and dh is completely sold on homeschooling (even when *I'm* ready to throw in the towel! :))