If you started HS'ing after a *pleasant* PS experience...

[Xuzi]

were your kids ever mad at you for doing it? My DD went to a *wonderful* pre-school, and had has an okay Kindergarten year. (socially great, achedemically way below her level) I worry if these happy public school memories will come back to bite me in the butt when we hit rough patches in our homeschooling (which I'm assuming are unavoidable :tongue_smilie:)

 

If you have a previously-public-school'd child, do they ever get mad at you for pulling them out? How do you answer their questions for why you felt HS'ing would be better for them, especially if things aren't going smoothly in your homeschooling?

[LibraryLover]

We had an entirely lovely school exp. The children were not mad. We had many discussions about what was going to happen and why, and we joined a hs group a few months before we left our school. One was thrilled by the new adventure. One was surprised because it didn't seem that there was any need for change. One decided to continue on to a high school we all liked.

 

The youngest has never been to school, never wants to go, and has no curiosity whatsoever about school.

[linders]

both DSs went to a wonderful, play-based preschool before HS. Warm teachers, great crafts, lots of free play. And sometimes when schoolwork gets dreary (which it always does at some point) they remember how "fun" preschool was. So we have the talk (over and over) about what an elementary kid's day is like. Arm yourself!

[Liz CA]

I pulled my ds out after 5th grade. Even though he had many friends he never resented it - he kept in contact with a few particular good friends. Soon after that he started going to a Junior High Youth Group and enjoyed it very much. He did enjoy homeschooling because we could tailor the material more to his interests and we were very flexible which made for a much better family life. I explained to him that we could be doing a lot more because we had a choice in what material we used and the teachers pick material for all students. The truth was also that he could not spell very well and I remedied that, somewhat at least.

He is now in college and I have never heard him say that he wished he had been in PS all the way through High School.

[rwjx2khsmj]

My dd13 loved public school. She is still occassionally angry with us for pulling her out. Our answer is that we love her enough to do what we know is best for her, even when she doesn't like us for it. Her well being and education are our priority and we will do what we think is necessary, as parents, to help her develop into the woman we know God intends her to be.

 

Ultimately, it comes down to the question of "Would you rather we loved you less?" The answer is always no. And that's where we rest.

[Peela]

were your kids ever mad at you for doing it? My DD went to a *wonderful* pre-school, and had has an okay Kindergarten year. (socially great, achedemically way below her level) I worry if these happy public school memories will come back to bite me in the butt when we hit rough patches in our homeschooling (which I'm assuming are unavoidable :tongue_smilie:)

 

If you have a previously-public-school'd child, do they ever get mad at you for pulling them out? How do you answer their questions for why you felt HS'ing would be better for them, especially if things aren't going smoothly in your homeschooling?

 

Yes, we have certainly had this issue. We pulled ds out of 2nd grade because he was struggling and upset and way behind, if a 7 year old could be said to be behind. But 3 months later we pulled a perfectly happy, settled and popular dd out of 4th grade because we were by then convinced that homeschooling was the way to go- and that we were going to lose her to her peers very soon if we didnt. She was NOT impressed. It took 6 months of me working very hard to find her some homeschooling peers, for her to stop asking when she could go back to school. I was so set on homeschooling, but it broke my heart that she wanted to go to school.

So for me, in our situation, finding homeschooling peers for my kids has been crucial. Fortunately there is a great community here in my city and it hasn't been a problem- work on my part, yes, but doable. The Scout movement has also been important- the kids have got to go on many camps and adventures away from their parents, and for my particular kids, that has been important.

My dd wanted to go back to school again last year. I did feel she was old enough to make that decision, at 14/15, but dh was very clear that no, that wasnt going to happen. As far as he is concerned, highschool is a jungle of drugs and bullying and alcohol. Instead what I did was set dd up with courses and planned ahead with her going to community college (TAFE here) in 2011and I have waxed on about how much better she will be treated there than in school. It has settled her to have a plan.

So, the answer is yes. Both my kids have at times been mad with me for pulling them out of school. It hurts my heart. I may have let them both go back, if it was just up to me, but dh has stood firm about it being the best thing for them to stay homeschooling. Ds now has a job and I let him go one weekday a week...he couldnt do that if he was at school.

The key for us has been...well, dh's firmness, giving them no choice....and making sure their lives are full and interesting. My kids are both extroverts and very social people. They would thrive socially in school. I work hard to make it work for them at home.

Dd15 has just helped organise a large 3 day Scouts camp for 14-17yos and is there at the moment. Opportunities like she has had, being on committees and such, would be hard to fit in if she was at school. As well as the part time jobs both of mine have now. I play on those sorts of things a lot when they get discontent.

I dont think they will resent me for it in the long run. They have amazing lives.

[LibraryLover]

We used to visit our school (still do at times for plays, summer programming etc) and remember the good times. Nothing has to be bad about our school for our hsing experience to be good or right for us at this time. (Now or forever). We still enjoy some of those folks, we just don't see them as often. :) The teacher my dd had when she was 9 displays some of my now 17 yr old's current art work on one of her office bulletin boards. :) It's nice for my dd to know she is so fondly remembered, even now.

 

I think it's right to aknowledge that some things will be missed; that's normal. Being on a new adventure can be exciting as well; say that at the same time you chat about the old good times. :)

Edited February 27, 2010 by LibraryLover

[Angel]

Not PS but Christian school. My older dd went through 4th grade. It was a wonderful experience for her. She had friends and great teachers. She has loved homeschooling and frequently is glad she doesn't have to attend school.

 

Our situation was a little different, though. We were moving and she would have been changing schools anyway.

[....]

were your kids ever mad at you for doing it? My DD went to a *wonderful* pre-school, and had has an okay Kindergarten year. (socially great, achedemically way below her level) I worry if these happy public school memories will come back to bite me in the butt when we hit rough patches in our homeschooling (which I'm assuming are unavoidable :tongue_smilie:)

 

If you have a previously-public-school'd child, do they ever get mad at you for pulling them out? How do you answer their questions for why you felt HS'ing would be better for them, especially if things aren't going smoothly in your homeschooling?

 

 

Our kids went to the #2 public school in our state. They liked it there. It got on my nerves sometimes, but they liked it.

 

They were not mad at me for pulling them out of school and they have never asked to go back.

 

I've asked them jokingly if they want to go back to public school and they unanimously said NO.

 

The thing with homeschooling...is you can use the opportunity to do some unusual things that you normally couldn't do with ps. We take a T O N of field trips. In fact, we are going to do schoolwork this weekend because we took so many field trips this week (science museum, aircraft and flight museum). My kids are also huge science nuts, so we do more science than they would've seen in ps.

 

If you let them take a few classes outside the home (like some enrichment stuff), they're probably not going to tell you how much they miss school.

 

I also had another parent tell me that she was driving my son and his friend home (twas a playdate) and my son was telling her son, "Did you know I homeschool? You really gotta try it. It's so fun. I really like the word puzzles." That lady thought this conversation was hilarious and was telling me about it when she dropped my son off at home. :lol:

[Dmmetler]

I'm nervous about this, too-my DD has loved much of kindergarten in her parochial school, and the reason for pulling her now isn't what's happened this year, it's looking ahead to next year and realizing that the school cannot meet DD's academic needs.

 

 

One thing which I'm torn about is whether I should try to keep her in activities with her current school friends, or look for home school groups. For example, there is a Daisy girl scout troop that meets at her current school, and that she'd be eligible to attend. But there's also a home school troop that meets during the school day not far away. The same applies to sports teams, where DD could participate with her former school. (According to the principal, the parochial school league here is pretty flexible as far as home schoolers participating, at least in K-8).

[Annabel Lee]

My ds8 spent a year in ps. It was so fun (read: twaddle & busywork) for him, and since he was the "smartest one in the class" he was very popular, esp. w/ the girls (eek, yes, in 1st grade!), that yes, he asks to go back a couple times a week still. He says he wants to go to school to get more friends. Our weeks are chock full of activities with other kids and yet somehow he wants something that matches his classroom experience. It's a small blow to my heart but I just tell him that Daddy & I know what is best and right now hs'ing is best for him. I try hard to persuade him of the pros of hs'ing ("Wow, your ps friends had to get up at whatever-o-clock this morning! I bet they have to go to bed and be asleep by 7 pm!", "Huh. The bus just now dropped off Neighbor Kid and it's 4 pm but they assign homework too."). I think he just wants the feeling of popularity again. I'm afraid a little that if I did send him to ps he'd either be a "follower" and make bad choices just to gain popularity or get a rude awakening about how mean peers can be when you don't follow along.

[momofkhm]

My girls went not to public school but a private school for the first years. Oldest went through to 5th grade, middle to 3rd grade. When we pulled them out, middle child actually thought 6 hours in a seat was worth 30 minutes on the playground with friends! She was upset because now she wouldn't see her friends all the time. That lasted a year or two.

 

Now neither of them want to go to school. They talk to friends at public and private school and see how much homework they have, after spending 6 hours in school! Sometimes these friends are up until 10 doing homework! My girls see the outside benefits of homeschooling - staying in bed until 8 or 9. Flexible bedtimes. Being able to take vacations when no one else does. They do not want to go back to school at all!