Bluecity24 Posted February 15, 2010 Author Share Posted February 15, 2010 Is it nice for kids to play with other kids? Yes. But, it sounds like the whole "socialization" debate here-almost. Where is it written that kids need to be playing outside with other kids 7 days a week? One of the reasons I'm hsing is because I (and dh) want to be my dc's biggest influences, not a bunch of other same age dc who I don't even know, don't know the parents values, etc... Do I isolate my dc from other dc, especially non-hsers? No. But do I say "Just go out and do whatever until dinner." No. If I lived in an area in town, I wouldn't let them go out of our yard unless one of us was with them. That's just me. :iagree: You don't know what values the parents have. One of the girls that comes over to play with my daughter the one that is 9 yo talks back to her mom and doesn't listen. We were out playing last week and she told her mom to shut up after her mom yelled outside and told her it was time to come in and to put up her bike and she stayed out until the mom came out and yelled at her again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happyWImom Posted February 15, 2010 Share Posted February 15, 2010 :iagree: You don't know what values the parents have. One of the girls that comes over to play with my daughter the one that is 9 yo talks back to her mom and doesn't listen. We were out playing last week and she told her mom to shut up after her mom yelled outside and told her it was time to come in and to put up her bike and she stayed out until the mom came out and yelled at her again. That is when I would seriously consider not allowing my dd to be around that child. It's a good teaching moment, I guess. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted February 15, 2010 Share Posted February 15, 2010 So - you have to first decide what it is you and your dh want for your family. Do you want your dd to have neighborhood friends at all? Do you want her to have just select neighborhood friends? Do you want her to play with everyone in the neighborhood? Do you want her to be available only at certain times or days? Do you want an adult supervising whenever she is out with the kids? Do you want only select adults supervising whenever she is out with the kids? Do you want kids to come to your house to play? etc. Different parents will (often strongly) argue for different answers to the above questions. And because the answers to those things depend on a whole slew of variables, I don't think there is one right answer to them. But what is important to answer for you is what your answer would be in your situation, your neighborhood, your daughter at this age. Once you figure out those answers, then you communicate them in some form to the neighborhood. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PineFarmMom Posted February 15, 2010 Share Posted February 15, 2010 Once you figure out those answers, then you communicate them in some form to the neighborhood. :iagree: with all that Jean said. I also wanted to add that being protective of your children will vary and change a lot depending on their age and their siblings. At the age of 6, I felt much the same about my oldest dd as you do your dd and wouldn't have dreamed of allowing her to do the things I wound up allowing when she was 8, 9, 10, etc. I have older dc who go out to play with my younger dc now when the neighborhood kids are over. I couldn't have allowed that when the oldest was 6. I don't think there is anything wrong with wanting to keep your 6yo dd in your line of vision. I will say, though, that you might wind up finding a couple of little girls in your neighborhood that could be good friends for her and you could make your home a welcome and fun home for those other children. Sometimes that is all it takes is working out your own home environment in a way where they all like to be there and you can supervise, getting the best of both worlds. I think there's a lot of tweaking that goes on with being watchful as the years go by. I've had to let go a lot over the past few years, but I see that I instilled values and awareness in my dc during those "helicopter mom" years that have stuck with them now and are playing out well!! They know what is acceptable peer behavior and what just is not...they have also learned to be aware of their surroundings and not to trust just anyone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather in WI Posted February 15, 2010 Share Posted February 15, 2010 Run-on sentences.....Punctuation, PLEASE.....very difficult to READ. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kim in TN Posted February 15, 2010 Share Posted February 15, 2010 You do what you feel is right for your daughter. Don't worry about what others think. 6 years old is still a baby! She needs to be protected! I can understand why you would be worried, especially after what happened there recently. Maybe you could make a schedule with hours and days that your dd is allowed to play? Posting a sign was a good idea. I'm sorry others are giving you a hard time about your posts. You came to this board for help with your dd, not to be judged on your writing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom2denj Posted February 16, 2010 Share Posted February 16, 2010 (edited) You do what you feel is right for your daughter. Don't worry about what others think. 6 years old is still a baby! She needs to be protected! I can understand why you would be worried, especially after what happened there recently. Maybe you could make a schedule with hours and days that your dd is allowed to play? Posting a sign was a good idea. I'm sorry others are giving you a hard time about your posts. You came to this board for help with your dd, not to be judged on your writing. :iagree::iagree::iagree: Edited February 16, 2010 by mom2denj Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joy at Home Posted February 16, 2010 Share Posted February 16, 2010 :iagree: You don't know what values the parents have. One of the girls that comes over to play with my daughter the one that is 9 yo talks back to her mom and doesn't listen. We were out playing last week and she told her mom to shut up after her mom yelled outside and told her it was time to come in and to put up her bike and she stayed out until the mom came out and yelled at her again. Hi and welcome! I completely know what you mean. We used to live in a row-home neighborhood about five years ago. We were bombarded in teh beginning with girls at the door constantly, and I really struggled with establishing some boundaries and control. Yes, I wanted my kids to go outside and have fun, but I wasn't about to let them just run around unsupervised. You obviously need to be with her, and it needs to be able to work into your schedule. Since when is not allowing a six year old outside alone hovering? Anyway, after the novelty of the new neighbors wore off, things were easier to manage. I think you got some good ideas, and I like the sign a lot. Good luck! Lisa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PineFarmMom Posted February 16, 2010 Share Posted February 16, 2010 You do what you feel is right for your daughter. Don't worry about what others think. 6 years old is still a baby! She needs to be protected! I can understand why you would be worried, especially after what happened there recently. I agree with this, fully. You'll get many and varied opinions here, but no one knows your dd and your area like you do. There are no experts in child-rearing here. There are many with experience in parenting, but even the experiences will vary. Protecting a 6yo is not out of line!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrsrevmeg Posted February 16, 2010 Share Posted February 16, 2010 You do what you feel is right for your daughter. Don't worry about what others think. 6 years old is still a baby! She needs to be protected! I can understand why you would be worried, especially after what happened there recently. Maybe you could make a schedule with hours and days that your dd is allowed to play? Posting a sign was a good idea. I'm sorry others are giving you a hard time about your posts. You came to this board for help with your dd, not to be judged on your writing. :iagree:My kids do not have a whole lot of friends in our neighborhood. We live in a very rural area and the kids who live near are not very nice. The times where we have allowed unsupervised play our kids have ended up hurt, or picked up new vocabulary, or both. We have a sign and I have to say no a lot. They still have their old friends from our previous town who come to visit and we go visit them. I grew up without a neighborhood (on a farm) and no other kids around. It didn't kill me. As long as your daughter is able to have friends, and is happy, don't worry about what other people are saying. Hope things get better for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stormy weather Posted February 16, 2010 Share Posted February 16, 2010 I grew up without a neighborhood (on a farm) and no other kids around. It didn't kill me. As long as your daughter is able to have friends, and is happy, don't worry about what other people are saying. Hope things get better for you. :iagree: I grew up in the boonies and my sister was 6 years older than me,so I was alone most of the time and I'm not too weird:drool::lol: It is okay to to decide what is best for your daughter, after all that is why we start out with parents right? I think the sign idea is a good one and trading off with another Mom on your block to be out watching out for those kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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