Mrs. Readsalot Posted March 21, 2008 Share Posted March 21, 2008 7 years ago I received an e-mail from the girlfriend of my BIL saying how we should make sure we went to MIL's for Thanksgiving dinner Yada Yada Yada. They had been dating 3 months and it was just September. Dh and I had been married 10 years and know that MIL always wants us at her house for holidays. At the time we were having to be very compassionate with my Mom because my brother had just died 2 months earlier. The girlfriends e-mail really rubbed me the wrong way on a wrong day and I blasted her via e-mail. I immediately regreted my e-mail but of course I couldn't take back. Well, she apparently printed out my e-mail saved it and has refused to attend family functions that I have attended for the last 7 years This dispite the fact they I apologized in several ways, via cards and letters, I sent her a gift of chocolates and a collectible and expensive book I knew she wanted etc. Dh also apologized in person and tried to explain the situation to his brother and to the girlfriend. He was told that the girlfriend hold grudges for a very long time ----ya think ---- now they are coming to MIL's for Easter dinner and we are going too and I am a stressed out mess. I hate confrontations. I hate drama. Oh how I many times I wish I had not sent that e-mail. Oh she is still just a girlfriend and her mother is also coming to the dinner. We know via MIL that both the girlfriend and her mother like to shoot off at the mouth and don't care what they say to people. I am going to need a lot of bean dip!!!!Help!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
5kidsforME Posted March 21, 2008 Share Posted March 21, 2008 Oh Karen (((hugs)))) What a frustrating situation for you. You have apologized and gone above and beyond in trying to make it up to her. I think you should go in there with the clear conscience you have, and not worry about it. At this point she is the one totally in the wrong. Not you. Let her be the one to make an idiot of herself. And who knows maybe she fianlly is over it. I have a MIL that shoots her mouth off all the time. We have learned to ignore it unless something needs to be addressed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WTMindy Posted March 21, 2008 Share Posted March 21, 2008 I hate conflict, and I certainly would hate it a family get-together. I pray that she will not be a stinker to you. Hopefully she can get past the whole thing! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
j.griff Posted March 21, 2008 Share Posted March 21, 2008 You're right, she's wrong. :D That stinks, and I think you have every right to stick your nose up in the air when you walk by her, but I seriously doubt you'd behave that way. ;) FWIW- in dealing with my step-MIL (who gossips about EVERYONE) I just didn't speak to her until she spoke to me when we last visited. She didn't say much, so neither did I. *I* didn't want to give her any "verbal" ammo to use in the future. Dstep-FIL said I should have just been SO darn nice to her, that it would have been absolutely impossible for her to say anything bad about me- I should have jumped up and hugged her when I saw her and asked how her life was, etc. etc. I think I may have to try that this next time we see them. It is SO NOT me, LOL, and I think DH would have a cow if I did that. But it's always fun to mess with people, isn't it? :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brigitte Posted March 22, 2008 Share Posted March 22, 2008 Oh Karen (((hugs)))) What a frustrating situation for you. You have apologized and gone above and beyond in trying to make it up to her. I think you should go in there with the clear conscience you have, and not worry about it. At this point she is the one totally in the wrong. Not you. Let her be the one to make an idiot of herself. And who knows maybe she fianlly is over it. I have a MIL that shoots her mouth off all the time. We have learned to ignore it unless something needs to be addressed. :iagree: Go and behave as you always do at your MIL's. You have nothing to be ashamed of. She has a lot! No wonder she is still the girlfriend after 7 years...;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moira in MA Posted March 22, 2008 Share Posted March 22, 2008 Imho, the anticipation is almost always worse than the event. In all likelihood she's dreading it too. Just try to be your normal self. Why do I say this? Well, every event I've ever agonized over turned out just fine; it's the ones I think will be a breeze that get me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adrianne Posted March 22, 2008 Share Posted March 22, 2008 I hope it all goes well for you. If not well than fast. Remember if she does shoot her mouth off at you, you are under no obligation to listen, just go to the bathroom or go out to the car. Take it easy and remember, Monday morning it will all be over. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted March 22, 2008 Share Posted March 22, 2008 Praying for you. Make sure you bring a big bowl of bean dip! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barb_ Posted March 22, 2008 Share Posted March 22, 2008 You get to go and be the favorite that everyone loves (MIL obviously favors you), knowing full well that dear girlfriend is the one everyone simply tolerates. Go with your head held high and a sense of noblesse oblige. You are the one with the respect and the prestige in this dynamic; you should feel free to treat her with manners and warmth and completely pretend nothing ever happened. People like that are like dogs...they smell fear (or discomfort) and then hone in for the kill. Don't give her that power. Smile! Barb Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.