I am so angry right now...Huge Vent

[cdrumm4448]

I just found out that one of the priests at my dd's school was removed from his position Monday due to allegations of sexual abuse involving a 13-year-old. Yesterday he threw himself off a church, but survived. The child was not a member of our parish, so I guess that means it was not a school child.

 

I am the one who was trying to decide whether to send dd next year to K there as they were considering full-day K. They have decided to stick with 1/2-day K, so we were planning to send her since she really wants to go. Now I don't know what to think.

 

The newspaper I read this in did not give any further information. I'm sure the other school parents are freaking out, too. I just cannot believe that a man I saw in the school, saw saying Mass, is possibly a predator. I feel like I have not done my job as a parent by possibly putting my children at risk. I had three concerns when I put my kids in Catholic school: large class sizes, lack of accelerated programs, and the church's history of predatory behavior associated with priests. They say it was just this one child, but how can they prove that? This man was surrounded by children all day, every day. All three of my concerns about this school have become issues. The first two are why we homeschool ds.

 

I have asked my son in the past if any inappropriate behavior occurred and that was the reason he didn't want to return to school. He has always said no. He is very honest with me, so I think he's telling me the truth, but I'm a worrier.

 

In my opinion, the archdiocese, the pastor and the whole church system look like a bunch of fools. They are supposed to have systems in place to prevent these things from happening. I know no one can control everything, but the church has a huge history of this type of thing. They are supposed to be super-extra vigilant and it still happens?

 

I am so angry right now.

[i.love.lucy]

:grouphug:

That's scary. Unfortunately the Catholic church is far from the only church that this is a widespread problem in. It's devastating and all you can wonder is whether or not your kid was violated.

 

My dd had a home daycare provider once or twice a week when she was little. The lady's dh was a cop, one of those on-campus cops at a high school. Caught for locking a girl in his office and forcing her to let him take nude photos. I was shocked, appalled, worried, etc, but there was no reason to think anything had happened with my dd. Still, I was glad she had long since been removed from that environment.

 

I don't know what to say about letting your kids attend there. Who is to say it will happen again with different clergy or staff? Who is to say that this kind of thing couldn't happen anywhere?

[Peek a Boo]

:grouphug:

That's scary. Unfortunately the Catholic church is far from the only church that this is a widespread problem in. It's devastating and all you can wonder is whether or not your kid was violated.

 

My dd had a home daycare provider once or twice a week when she was little. The lady's dh was a cop, one of those on-campus cops at a high school. Caught for locking a girl in his office and forcing her to let him take nude photos. I was shocked, appalled, worried, etc, but there was no reason to think anything had happened with my dd. Still, I was glad she had long since been removed from that environment.

 

I don't know what to say about letting your kids attend there. Who is to say it will happen again with different clergy or staff? Who is to say that this kind of thing couldn't happen anywhere?

 

:iagree:

 

unfortunately any authority figure [church, scouts, teacher, cop, soldier, boss,etc] is as prone to be a sexual predator as anyone else. It simply makes us shocked and saddened more when we find out.

 

be careful out there!

[Jean in Newcastle]

We've had people locally charged with s*xual abuse in the public school, daycares, after school clubs, and churches (both Protestant and Catholic). Yes, it is a horrible thing. And yes, it is scary because it can happen in any organization. And it doesn't have to be an organization. It can happen in the neighborhood or even the family.

 

Having said that, I do think that the response that an organization has to something like this tells a lot about how they would handle an allegation that were made more quietly for example. Would they get the person help and go after the abuser? Or would they try to sweep it under the rug?

[OHGrandma]

I doubt religious authorities are any more likely to be child abusers than John Q Public, but it's more shocking when they are exposed because it violates their moral standards. Of course, shocking news sells more than run-of-the-mill news.

[Starr]

:grouphug: And then there was the man that founded the boys and girls club in a community I lived in long ago.. I am so sorry. I am praying for all of you.

[Parrothead]

At least the priest in question was removed from access to children.

An accusation does not mean he was guilty. He could have jumped for any number of reasons, but it does make one wonder.

 

As the other posters have stated, predators are just about anywhere in any institution be it a school, hospital or family.

 

Yes, there are systems in place such as Protecting God's Children and Child Lures Prevention. But these systems can break down due to human involvement. And any predator, whether those stalking children or adults, knows the system and the best way around it.

 

You do have the right to be angry. A trust you had in the protective measures was broken.

[cdrumm4448]

I am waiting to see how it is handled within the school. The Diocese reported the accusation to the police and Children and Family Services, and the priest was placed on leave and removed of his duties.

 

I agree that it can and does happen anywhere, anytime. I am just upset that, as a previous poster stated, my trust has been violated. The school makes a huge deal about the new security measures they installed. Those security measures are useless against a threat from within.

[KristenS]

((hugs))

 

I am so far less than thrilled with how my own church is handling a situation. I reported an instance where a teacher crossed a line (not with my child, I was subbing in the class) ... she didn't do anything really wrong, but it was an action that could have so easily been misconstrued, or been a lead-in to further wrongdoings. So I reported it, to protect the children and the teacher.

 

How has it been handled? Well, they decided rather than confront her directly (since it was deemed to not be an urgent safety issue) to have a 'training conference' to remind all the teachers of appropriate guidelines. Half a year later, this hasn't happened ... because the person in charge of training for our district lives several hours away and they can't coordinate schedules.

 

I can tell you, I am NOT a happy camper. If nothing else, we're setting ourselves up for a lawsuit.

 

I think I will have to nag one more time, and then take it to a higher authority. Sigh. I hate always being That Parent.