S/O: Is it the cultural norm to send kids to preschool at two and three now?

[eternalknot]

It's not uncommon for 2-3 year olds to go to preschool where I live, but interestingly enough - more people here see the benefit of "homeschooling" preschool. They just hire nannies to do it; even the few stay-at-home moms I know.

 

We live in a high-professional, dual-income type of area.

 

I don't feel strongly one way or another about it. Like any other educational institution, I think it works for some kids/families but isn't ideal for others. I'm wary of the one-size-fits-all mentality as it pertains to pretty much anything, though. I'm into what works for my specific kids rather than marrying myself to any one ideology.

[Bee]

working parents. So the children go off early to day care and pre-school. The income levels for getting your child into a state-supported pre-school program are generous. We are being constantly bombarded with messages on tv and in the newspaper that early childhood education= successful student, high school graduate, college student, and ultimately, a productive member of society. I know some working parents don't have any choice but it makes me sad to see the tiny children getting off the bus at the Head Start program site with their backpacks as big as the child and sometimes children crying as their parents take them to daycare because they just don't want to be there that day. I mean, they are three for heaven's sake, it's not like they're going to be held back for missing some important life lessons that they can only learn there.

[stripe]

There's something about this (child crying as being taken to school) in Chinua Achebe's new book, a collection of essays, The Education of a British-Protected Child. I think he had a different take on it than how I saw it. He "bribed" his daughter to go to preschool by telling her stories. I just thought it was sad.

[Irene Lynn]

I can't possibly imagine sending my 2 or 3yr old's to preschool. I taught preschool before starting my career and before kids. I don't see much to any benefit to learning how to defend yourself, bite, hit, and deal with bullies at such a young age. :) But that is just me..

 

My child is already adept at defending himself at nearly age three. HE is the one who has been the bully. While I have never sent him to preschool, I have taken him out and about, to the church's 2yo class, and to MOPS, and the YMCA. Those places have helped him to manage himself better. (Please read this in a light manner and know that I am an active mom, who is no nonesense, but has had an angel child, and now this active boy.) I have had no problem removing him and driving home as needed, but the truth is that he has made others cry and he would have totally traumatized my dd, if they were the same age. She was the anti bully. He is big, strong and has one sister, who is 13.5 years older. His "terrible twos" were indeed terrible, though I loved him, :), but they seem to be over and now he can be a sweet boy most all the time. I know one time at McDonald's playland had an affect apon him. He bullied another little boy and I stepped in and corrected his behavior. I think he probably did something again to the boy that I did not see. Then I saw him again shoving the boy backward and before he knew what was happening he was being carried out to the van kicking and screaming. I think he did learn something that day. He was very sad that his choices had kept him from doing what he had wanted to do. I do feel sorry for the boy he pushed around. I had a child like that boy and I would not have been happy as his parent. :( Honestly though, I don't know how I was supposed to teach him as effectively at home without any children around. He did whack at us, too, and bite and kick and head butt and ...., and he was correctly as clearly as I knew how, but I don't think it was sinking in as well, since we were all so much bigger than him. I did work with him on his treatment of cats and that has carried over to the way he treats babies.

 

Anyway, I am saying that I took a very active role in teaching my son to behave (and he is SO much better now, though it took over a year of crazy behavior.) I could see how another mom might think that others might do a better job and therefore send her "bully" to school, so s/he can learn how to behave in an appropriate manner and the mom could get a break from being hit, kicked, bit, and head butted.

 

I will say, however, that there might be reason for more to go than I can imagine. I taught my little guys just in the natural course of days. By 3 they have all known their letters, numbers, colors, shapes, letter sounds, etc. A friend of mine decided a few years ago to go back to school and turn her business degree into a master's in early education. This year is her first year teaching and it's a kindergarten class. Her class of 18 has several that don't know a letter from a number or even their basic colors, much less a single shape..

 

My dd also knew all of these things and many more by the time she was 2.5 and I had trouble understanding how a child would not learn these things so easily. My son, on the other hand, knows the basic colors pretty well and knows many letters and sounds. I don't think that he has his shapes down or numbers at all. he still doesn't even speak very clearly so that has helped slow him down. He has not been too interested in these topics. He CAN problem solve very well and knows his planets and trains, construction equipment, and other vehicles quite well. He longs to play games, but just doesn't have the skills that almost all of them require. I think he will know all of these things well by 4. (By age 5 our dd could play Monopoly completely independently.)

 

One mother even disagreed with her and didn't see any good reason to work with her child to learn her letters. After all, there's no point in knowing such things before 1st grade. What?? I don't even see how you can have a child with you for 5 years without learning those things. Mine always want to know. If she wasn't going to do anything with her child, I see the benefit if she had had some preschool. Her child is at a big disadvantage.

 

He could learn more, if I made more of a point to be very delibrate, but I have always tended to let my children play while they were little. My dd's play was learning and listening to books and asking me questions nonstop. My ds's play is much more active and while he likes books, he likes fiction better than nonfiction and not 2 hours worth a day like his sister. LOL I think that my ds would not be one to ask the questions about letters, shapes, colors, or numbers. If I were not a homeschooler and hadn't been around children much, then perhaps I wouldn't think about his lack of knowledge in these areas, since he hasn't been asking. He is so full of imagination that he doesn't seem to want to be bothered by the facts sometimes. :) He does have me for his mother, so he will learn and be exposed to a variety of things, but his timetable and his desire are SOoooo completely different from his sister's. Also, though I haven't seriously considered putting my ds in preschool, I do think that he would love it. He is a very social little guy and now that he wouldn't be traumatizing the other children, he would have such fun playing with them. He really does interact much more than our dd ever did (or does.) he would probably learn those basics much faster in a setting like that, because he likes to join into activities. Here at home he would have something "better" to do, since no other children would be doing it with him. I do see him maturing, so it won't be long until he is ready to learn in a way that is easier to teach.

[Mom0012]

I haven't read all the posts, but my son went to preschool when he was 3 and loved it. He only went for 2 1/2 hours, 2 days a week and it was a very nice experience. My daughter started at 2 because she couldn't wait to get into that fun classroom after going with me to drop off her brother. The teachers were wonderful and she had lots of fun. This was not an "academic" preschool but more of a fun playtime for the kids. We live in a rural area and have to schedule playdates if we want them, so this was a nice way for the kids to have a regular playtime with other children. I have no regrets.

 

Lisa

Edited December 17, 2009 by LisaTheresa