Any advice for my son (and me)?

[Nestof3]

Okay. Ben is 8. He has been different in a difficult sense since birth. When he was born, the doctor had me get an ultrasound done on his hips because he would not relax them. He just refused to. There was nothing wrong with them.

 

He was the one who cried for hours every night as a baby. When he was two, he used to rock himself back and forth when he was upset -- moaning the entire time in some sort of trance.

 

He did not say more than five words until he was 3. He reads fine, he does well in math, and he loves art and music.

 

Often when I read aloud, he huffs and/or hums along with me.

 

He is easily distracted and has a difficult time paying attention.

 

 

He has had a real difficult time with certain things. Like, one time when he was young, he wet his pants and fell in mud while we were at a friend's house. His clothes were soaked, so we borrowed our friend's son's underwear and pants. He totally freaked out at the thought of wearing someone else's underwear -- kicking and screaming.

 

Spanking makes him extremely angry. He really struggles with speaking respectfully when upset. He can be the sweetest thing ever, and people generally adore him, but he will blurt out something like "you're rude" if he feels like you've wronged him or when he is "punished." When calm, he is the most giving and complimentary person. He also says, "It's not my fault" often. ugh

 

He is only ever sorrowful if he's had time to simmer on his own.

 

He has a hard time talking if anyone else is talking near him. He forgets things very easily, especially when interrupted. He can take a long time explaining something and gets tongue-tied easily.

 

He's edgy. Once at church, a child bumped into him, and he got upset so easily. It didn't last or anything, but he just seems so sensitive. He feels like people laugh at him a lot.

 

He needs a lot of holding. Sometimes when I hold him, and my hand is on his face in a certain way, if I move it, he moves it right back and wants me to keep it there.

 

He's very picky about the type of socks he wears, how tight his shoes are, and he can only wear one kind of underwear.

 

He has an inflexible personality.

 

Choosing is extremely difficult for him. Things like choosing a drink in the fast food line or an ice cream when the ice cream truck comes drives me crazy because he takes so long.

 

I have OCD tendencies; my husband has ADD tendencies and possibly mild depression, and Nathan has strange habits like clearing of the throat, impulse issues, excessive talking, and we all have self-control issues.

Edited November 25, 2009 by nestof3

[Jan in SC]

I would have him evaluated by an OT (Occupational Therapist) that specializes in sensory issues. If it is sensory, a good OT will be invaluable. If not, he/she will be able to point you in another direction.

 

Your pediatrician should be able to find an OT for you. In our state, a prescription is needed for an evaluation. It is perfectly acceptable to meet with a couple of OTs berfore deciding, but your insurance might only pay for one evaluation.

[lionfamily1999]

Sounds like my older ds. Taking him out of ps has really toned down most of this behavior. He still assumes that people are laughing at him if they're laughing and he's in the room. He is still very self-conscious (but much less than this time last year).

 

:grouphug:

 

Have him evaluated if you want, but it could just be who he is. Ds is learning how to bend in order to have friends and relate to other people. Church has done wonders for him. Giving him plenty of alone time, and lots of love time, and some social time (40/30/30) has helped.

[mcconnellboys]

Well, it really sounds like a combination to me. My older son has sensory issues and my younger is OC. I'm sure that you recognize some of the OC things he's doing, but some of the other sensitivities sound like sensory issues to me.

[Jilly]

I usually only lurk on these boards, but I just wanted to say that it sounds sensory to me. My oldest son has sensory issues, and your son sounds like he has some of these tendencies. Being picky about his clothes, needing to be held often, and being inflexible could be related to sensory issues. My son shares these same characteristics, and he becomes angry very quickly and needs to be reminded often to be respectful to others. I would read up on sensory disorders, and if it sounds like your son could be struggling with this I would make an appointment with an OT.

[Pippen]

When a child is showing issues in multiple areas and it's causing life functioning problems, I'm all for getting a complete evaluation done. If there is one or more issues going on, you will feel much more empowered to help him progress through some of these hurdles.

 

Do check out sensory processing disorder, including the book "The Out of Sync Child".

 

Sensory rarely rides alone. The speech patterns that you are describing sometimes are due to auditory and/or language processing problems and can usually be helped by speech therapy, but the younger the child, the better results.

 

Finally, a specialist like a developmental pediatrician can help you pull the pieces of the puzzle together if there is an underlying cause. Your pediatrician can help you get the ball rolling if you decide to pursue any evaluations.

[butterfly113]

I would recommend starting with your pediatrician, and then perhaps a developmentalist. We have just gone down this path over the last 5 months. Sounds like it could be a few different things, as several have overlapping characteristics. have a full evaluation done would be best.

 

Not sure what part of VA you are in, but in the southeast, CHKD and Eden Counseling are wonderful!