Just wondering how much you think it is reasonable to pay for a wedding dress?

[*anj*]

That brings up another thing I hate about huge weddings. All that money may just be wasted if the couple divorce a short time later - ugh!

 

Regena

 

That reminds me of a story.

When dh and I were dating we were really poor.

His cousin got married a year or so before we did.

We were really broke at the actual time of her wedding, so we decided to follow Miss Manner's advice and be sure to give the gift within a year of the wedding. Well guess what? They didn't even last a year. I have to say that I was really relieved that we hadn't taken our hard won cash to buy a gift for a couple that hadn't even stayed together. Nowadays I wouldn't care because it's a little different, but back then.....

[Melissa B]

I think my family may be correct in calling me a bit too practical and tight-fisted. I paid $30 or $40 dollars for my wedding dress. It came off a clearance rack at Ross. My mother found it and called me. She wanted me to come look at it, but I assured her it would be fine and just pick it up.:) It is now in my children's dress up bin.

 

We really did have a beautiful wedding, it was outdoors and on the beach in Florida. But I am practical and basically cheap. I asked a family member and friend that both dabble in photography to do my pictures - they came out wonderful. My cousin played the violin for music. My cake came from Publix grocery and was delicious. All together with food, clothing, hotel, etc. the wedding cost under $3000 and everyone loved it. After attending our wedding, I had a cousin get married in the same place and a sister in law who is planning a beach wedding. Cheap can really be wonderful!

 

Oh, and we bought a house the week before the wedding instead of going on a honeymoon. :D

[Colleen in NS]

My sister and I both didn't believe in big weddings and opted for very small, informal weddings that didn't require the traditional dress. I've tried to bring my 17yo dd up the same way! :001_smile:

 

Most young women still seem to want the traditional dress and wedding, so I'm really curious about what others deem a reasonable amount of money to pay these days for the dress.

 

On a slightly different note, my dh and I have been appalled by the size of the weddings of the children of his co-workers (everyone being fairly middle-class technical geeks). They have done weddings that cost $30,000 and up.

 

Are we really cheap??? :tongue_smilie:

 

Well, in 1994, I paid $35 for my wedding dress - it was an ivory coloured, lace dress over a sheath, on a sale rack at Jordan Marsh. I made a veil for it, found $10 shoes, and in general, paid about $350 for the entire wedding.

[FlockOfSillies]

 

 

They told me about the fancy weddings that some had had, only to end up divorced within a couple of years.

 

:iagree: This was my sister's wedding -- $2500 just for a silk shantung dress, big first anniversary party (to steal the thunder from my upcoming foolish marriage), ending in divorce less than five years later.

 

I know I shouldn't, but I feel vindicated to be approaching my 13th anniversary in the face of all that.

 

FTR, my dress was about $400, but it was Italian satin. Regular satin looks all shiny, but Italian satin just... glows. We had a few splurges -- a two-week honeymoon, wedding cake from The Cheesecake Factory, and a great photographer. The rest was El Cheapo -- reception in my dh's uncle's backyard, church choir friends for music, inexpensive table decorations, reception food homemade by our moms, homemade party favors (that my dear MIL forgot to set out at the reception). We were even going to use dh's white car as our wedding transportation, but my dad INSISTED on renting us a limo. Quite a turnaround for a guy who responded to my engagement with the words, "I'm not too happy about this."

 

So, now I return from my rabbit-trail trip down memory lane to say, "It's not unusual for a traditional wedding dress to cost several hundred dollars, depending on the fabric used, any embellishments, and the length of the dress. If you can get a beautiful dress that suits you and the formality level of the wedding for $200 or less, you've gotten a baw-gin! :thumbup:"

[Danestress]

I disagree. On two levels:

 

I think it is wrong to consume like that when there are so many people in need. It sickens my heart to even think about it.

 

My other objection, which applies to things a little lower on the scale than 200K weddings, is to the way our society sets these expectations for weddings... and the harm it does to so many couples.

 

 

I had a small wedding because I just don't have that female desire to be a princess. I really didn't want everyone looking at me.

 

But I don't share your judgment about it being wrong to have a big wedding if you want one. It wouldn't be my choice, but I don't judge those who choose it. Unlike so many things people spend money on, at least an expensive wedding tends to benefit your local economy. I kind of like the idea of supporting people who have small businesses - the florist, caterer, seamstress, photographer, wedding planner, musicians .... all those people have businesses that support families and that rely on these kinds of events. The wait staff at the reception, the restaurants where guests are eating and the hotels and Bed and Breakfasts - these are all businesses, often local businesses, that benefit from that expensiture. So while I personally would never want a big wedding, I don't really feel too bent out of shape about people who do, IF they aren't going into debt to do it. If Daddy has the money, it seems fine with me. He's taking it out of savings and using it to stimulate the economy, which I'm hearing now is patriotic:)

 

I didn't feel *at all* sad about having a small wedding. I guess I don't relate to the idea that someone's big wedding harms the next bride. The next bride is an adult. If she can't afford that wedding and is so traumatized that her big plans have to be scaled back, I wonder about her maturity and readiness for marriage. Won't it just be one thing after another? First she's dying of jealousy about the fairy tale wedding, then it's the big house, the better car, the best of the best children's clothing. People have to figure out how to co-exist with the conspicuous consumer without letting it get under their skin. I don't have any daughters, but if I did, I tend to think that preparing for a wedding would be a great time to face the reality that I'm not rich and you aren't rich either, and if that bothers you, you might want to rethink your plans, marrying someone wealthier, have a job change etc. Because we don't spend what we don't have.

[dirty ethel rackham]

I would have been happy to have a smaller, intimate wedding, but, since I was the last of the 6 kids to get married in my family, my parents wanted a more "traditional" wedding reception. It was kindof a last hurrah. This was almost 17 years ago. I paid for the dress, flowers, photography, favors, but I was working at a VERY well paying job at the time. My dress was $600, which everyone told me was "cheap". I didn't have fairy princess dreams, but the dress made me feel beautiful. I did not want to be 'bridezilla" like my younger sister (who as getting married 2 months before me), so I made quick decisions and tried not to be fussy. We ended up with 200 guests (mostly friends of our parents) and the wedding was about $12,000 (including what dh and I spent on our individual parts).

 

Meanwhile little sister and her parsnickety fiance had to be reigned in everywhere. Sis' fiance came from a small town where you posted the invitation on the church bulletin board and had baloney on wonder bread at the reception. Around here, sit down dinners were more expected. Sis' DF chose the most expensive plate - prime rib, but expected to be able to just post the invitation on the bulletin board and have 200 people show up. He wanted the most expensive 'EVERYTHING' but it wasn't his dime.

[LisaKinVA]

My wedding cost about $5,000. My dress was $500 (bought it used, and it fit perfectly -- no alterations necessary). The dress I really wanted was 3x that, and believe me, if I could have purchased it, I would have.

 

I was 27 when I got married. And the *only* reason my wedding costs were low was because my family moved so much. If we had remained in California, and gotten married at our church there... the punch, coffee, cake and nuts to serve in the reception hall to all of the family and friends would have amounted to nearly $5k in and of itself -- so my wedding could have easilly come in around $10,000 -- and if I purchased the dress I wanted? about $12,000.

 

Other than the dress... I would have spent the money on better food. The Sam's roll-ups and veggie trays were, umm, unpalatable. (UGH!).

 

We could have done oh so much better with a Ukrop's buffet:) And it would have been worth the extra $400

[AndyJoy]

My wedding in 2003 was a fairly simple affair by most people's standards, but it was a blast. My dress was $350 including alterations. I had intended to have my mom make mine, because she made hers in 1975 and it was beautiful. We went to David's Bridal to look for ideas, and I ended up buying my dress on a mega sale ($800 originally).

 

We had both the ceremony and reception at my church, which only charged $75. We served cake, punch, nuts, mints, and fruits and veggies at our reception. My mother-in-law made a beautiful cake that I had chosen out of a cake decorating book. The reception was a 50's theme, so we had lots of fun decorating with roller skates, balloons, records, diner aprons, Coke, red tableclothes, black & white checkered runners, etc. We made a jukebox w/a laptop inside that played 50s songs. My extremely artistically talented best friend painted the front of a '57 Chevy for the bridal party table, so it looked like my husband and I were sitting in it.:auto: My mom made me a red satin poodle skirt for my going-away outfit.

 

We made the boquets and boutonnieres ourselves with fresh flowers, and a friend arranged the rest of the flowers (silk) as a gift. We donated the red and white silk arrangements to the church after the wedding, and they have been used frequently (4th of July, Memorial Day, Christmas, etc.) I paid for the fabric and patterns for my bridesmaids' and flower s' dresses, and their mothers sewed them. The groom's and groomsmen's tuxes and shoes were only $60 at a discount rental place.

 

The rehersal dinner given by my inlaws was a salmon BBQ (they are from Alaska and brought the salmon with them). It was simple but delicious and fun.

 

We spent just over $2,500 and had about 200 guests. We have never regretted having a simple wedding. Almost 5 years later, people from my church still tell me that it was the most fun they ever had at a wedding. For me, the point of a wedding is not to show off or spend absurdly large amounts of money to buy "happiness", but to celebrate your commitment to one another with a fun party with family and friends. For me, the value of the wedding is the people, not the finery.

[Brigitte]

OK I guess I will be the odd one but I had no problem spending $1200 on my dress not including alterations. Although I am sure I could have found a lovely dress for much less this was my DREAM dress. I love all the crystals.

 

 

I will confess that mine was in that price range. I don't remember exactly how much it was since we bought it in Paris and the I was converting from francs to dollars.

 

The rest of our wedding cost about $3,000 - reception and all. The bill for the bar tab (open bar) was as much as the food. :o

[Tracey in TX]

In 1991 I spend $500 on the bridal gown. Then my parents informed us they could only contribute $2000 to our wedding. That's not even close to what we expected...so we eloped and called home the next day.

I wore a floral cocktail dress in a most unconventional Catholic Mass :) We put the remaining money toward a week in Jamaica. I would do it again in a heartbeat! We couldn't have our dream wedding, so we changed our expectations. (I didn't whine then about people fortunate enough to afford the $200,000 weddings. Good for them. They're blessed fiscally. I'm blessed with a great husband who didn't mind altering our plans to fit our own needs. Maybe someday my DDs can be blessed with both. If not, let them design a wedding that personifies their future--loving God and each other...and not fret about the money.)