dragons in the flower bed Posted November 21, 2009 Share Posted November 21, 2009 (edited) My children use Lego like other kids use Play-doh. The point is most definitely NOT to end up with a shelf full of creations like the ones pictured on the boxes. They do put together the kit as directed, but we have a three day rule. After three days it may be destroyed for parts. The parts go into bins, and the children make creations of their own design forever after. Lego is one of five toys the six- and nine-year-olds play with on a daily basis. (We actually decluttered down to five toys in the house for these two kids to share: a robot, action figures, cars/trains, Lego and dress-ups.) Lego is pretty much constantly in play. There is never a moment between waking and sleep when the children do not have a Lego creation in progress. They walk around with these things in their pockets. Some part of their minds are always adapting their plans, so that sometimes they'll drop what they're contentedly doing with some other toy or craft supply, run to the bedroom, and work out the inspiration in brick. Lately we've had outright WAR over individual pieces. It seems like every two hours a kid comes to me in tears. Thing 1: "Think 2 won't let me have the piece I need." Thing 2: "Thing 1 took it right off my creation!" I tried telling them they have good negotiation skills (because they do!) and supervising to make sure no one was mean during negotiations. But I've been in negotiation with them for weeks now, and it's not getting better. I tried splitting up the days: today is your Lego day, tomorrow is Sibling's Lego day. That stifled creativity to such an extent that I hardly saw the point of keeping these pesky bricks in the house. I thought about getting rid of the Lego, but they're such a major influence on the children's minds that it seems ridiculous, like getting rid of math, or getting rid of history. That's not a threat I'm willing to make because Lego has too valuable a part to play in the childrens' overall development. Now I've divvied up the bricks, so each child has their own bin full. They have to mutually agree on any trades. They've been crying since then about all the great pieces in the other kid's bin, yet they're refusing to trade because they value the same pieces. These kids adore each other. They really don't fight about anything else. I'm at my wit's end. I'm ready to pile up these "valuable, rare pieces," and make the kids earn them through variety show presentations to be judged by the guy who walks around town playing recycled instruments balanced on a shopping cart. Honestly! Can you help us come up with a system we can set in place to handle individual brick distribution? Or should I give up and make the kids live with the bins they have been granted? Edited November 21, 2009 by dragons in the flower bed apostrophes Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanie Posted November 21, 2009 Share Posted November 21, 2009 Since you already have a 3 Day Rule for the "official" Lego item, maybe you could extend that to the kids' original creations. That way the Lego pieces could go back into a large bin (to encourage creativity and collaboration and all that) and the kid who gets bummed out because he didn't get the exact piece he wanted would at least know he'd get another shot at it in three days. You could say the one kid gets first crack at the pieces in the other kid's creation, and vice versa. Oh, how I detest Legos. :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrsrevmeg Posted November 21, 2009 Share Posted November 21, 2009 I am so glad to know that Lego wars happen at other house. It makes me feel normal. (well, almost normal anyway:tongue_smilie:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amy g. Posted November 21, 2009 Share Posted November 21, 2009 This won't help with the fighting, but I would take a picture of each creation after the 3 days, and make a "Lego Museum" on a long hallway wall. By the way, your kids sound like just the kind of intense, deep thinking children I enjoy......even when they are being maddening! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RanchGirl Posted November 21, 2009 Share Posted November 21, 2009 I don't allow my kids to fight over toys, it is more important to me that they treat each other kindly than that they have x toy. Even something as wonderful as legos, which are very popular in our house as well! I would take away any "valuable piece" that causes a fight. As in "you guys get along so well, you both know how to treat each other with kindness and respect and play well together... so if this piece is causing a fight, it must be the fault of the piece and I will ground it for 2 weeks to make sure it has time to think about its behavior." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emmy Posted November 21, 2009 Share Posted November 21, 2009 Well I think you've already tried what we do.....each kid has their own legos at our house and they can use them as needed. I won't get involved in negotiations for trades or loans (unless I overhear my oldest swindling the 5yo...). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dragons in the flower bed Posted November 21, 2009 Author Share Posted November 21, 2009 As in "you guys get along so well, you both know how to treat each other with kindness and respect and play well together... so if this piece is causing a fight, it must be the fault of the piece and I will ground it for 2 weeks to make sure it has time to think about its behavior." Grounding a piece for two weeks sounds like it might be a good logical consequence for us. It shouldn't inhibit but might contribute to their creativity. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dragons in the flower bed Posted November 21, 2009 Author Share Posted November 21, 2009 I won't get involved in negotiations for trades or loans (unless I overhear my oldest swindling the 5yo...). Not getting involved was so much easier before I lost my iPod. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dragons in the flower bed Posted November 21, 2009 Author Share Posted November 21, 2009 This won't help with the fighting, but I would take a picture of each creation after the 3 days, and make a "Lego Museum" on a long hallway wall. By the way, your kids sound like just the kind of intense, deep thinking children I enjoy......even when they are being maddening! Thanks. A Lego museum is a great idea. I bet it would help with the fighting. They'd be more willing to give up pieces if their creations were recorded for posterity. We don't have a hallway; we have an older house, the type where all the rooms open into other rooms. Maybe a dedicated Lego photo album would work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dragons in the flower bed Posted November 21, 2009 Author Share Posted November 21, 2009 Since you already have a 3 Day Rule for the "official" Lego item, maybe you could extend that to the kids' original creations.. Also not a bad idea. Thanks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dragons in the flower bed Posted November 21, 2009 Author Share Posted November 21, 2009 I am so glad to know that Lego wars happen at other house. It makes me feel normal. (well, almost normal anyway:tongue_smilie:) Normal within your unique peer group. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danybug Posted November 21, 2009 Share Posted November 21, 2009 First off, your post really made me smile. I only have one child old enough to be a Lego Maniac, but I can't imagine having a couple! Not sure if this is much of a plan, but what if you switch whose bin is whose every other day. Or need be you could even rotate the bins half way through the day. That way everybody gets dibs on the precious parts at some point during the day. Just a thought! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted November 21, 2009 Share Posted November 21, 2009 Could you introduce the idea of drawn plans? That way child without the necessary part can record their idea. They might not be so distressed if they can be sure the idea won't get forgotten. Rosie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zaichiki Posted November 22, 2009 Share Posted November 22, 2009 This won't help with the fighting, but I would take a picture of each creation after the 3 days, and make a "Lego Museum" on a long hallway wall. It might help. I know that oldest ds is always less angry about a Lego creation being taken apart if he has a photo of it. Seems that, if there's a permanent copy of it somewhere, he can handle the original being dismantled. Usually. I love the Lego Museum on the hallway wall idea! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
homeschoolally Posted November 22, 2009 Share Posted November 22, 2009 Didn't see if this was already mentioned, but my DS has found it much easier to let his creations 'go' if he takes a picture of them. I'll often find a dozen photos from every possible angle of some Lego masterpiece on the digital camera. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommytobees Posted November 22, 2009 Share Posted November 22, 2009 ::delurking:: You've been given great ideas, but I wanted to share with you what my 11 year-old son said regarding your problem: She just doesn't have enough Legos. :tongue_smilie::lol::glare: Kris My children use Lego like other kids use Play-doh. The point is most definitely NOT to end up with a shelf full of creations like the ones pictured on the boxes. They do put together the kit as directed, but we have a three day rule. After three days it may be destroyed for parts. The parts go into bins, and the children make creations of their own design forever after. Lego is one of five toys the six- and nine-year-olds play with on a daily basis. (We actually decluttered down to five toys in the house for these two kids to share: a robot, action figures, cars/trains, Lego and dress-ups.) Lego is pretty much constantly in play. There is never a moment between waking and sleep when the children do not have a Lego creation in progress. They walk around with these things in their pockets. Some part of their minds are always adapting their plans, so that sometimes they'll drop what they're contentedly doing with some other toy or craft supply, run to the bedroom, and work out the inspiration in brick. Lately we've had outright WAR over individual pieces. It seems like every two hours a kid comes to me in tears. Thing 1: "Think 2 won't let me have the piece I need." Thing 2: "Thing 1 took it right off my creation!" I tried telling them they have good negotiation skills (because they do!) and supervising to make sure no one was mean during negotiations. But I've been in negotiation with them for weeks now, and it's not getting better. I tried splitting up the days: today is your Lego day, tomorrow is Sibling's Lego day. That stifled creativity to such an extent that I hardly saw the point of keeping these pesky bricks in the house. I thought about getting rid of the Lego, but they're such a major influence on the children's minds that it seems ridiculous, like getting rid of math, or getting rid of history. That's not a threat I'm willing to make because Lego has too valuable a part to play in the childrens' overall development. Now I've divvied up the bricks, so each child has their own bin full. They have to mutually agree on any trades. They've been crying since then about all the great pieces in the other kid's bin, yet they're refusing to trade because they value the same pieces. These kids adore each other. They really don't fight about anything else. I'm at my wit's end. I'm ready to pile up these "valuable, rare pieces," and make the kids earn them through variety show presentations to be judged by the guy who walks around town playing recycled instruments balanced on a shopping cart. Honestly! Can you help us come up with a system we can set in place to handle individual brick distribution? Or should I give up and make the kids live with the bins they have been granted? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IsabelC Posted November 22, 2009 Share Posted November 22, 2009 If they are genuinely wanting to use certain particular parts (as opposed to just fighting and that is the excuse) you can go to the Lego website and order any number of any bits you want. Just an idea. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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