Peggy in Ks Posted October 19, 2009 Share Posted October 19, 2009 I have homeschooled my 4dc their whole life. My oldest, a girl, will graduate in the spring. My second is a boy who's 16. Both of these children are very social and active in church youth group and other activities with lots of friends. My last two, twin girls who are 14, are great, loving, helpful girls. They have no friends, just each other. They don't talk to anyone at youth group, and no one talks to them. They will talk and carry on a conversation if someone talks to them, but generally they are very quiet. They really enjoy being with me, but I thought at this phase of their life they would have friends by now. Since they have been homeschooled they are together all the time. Sometime I feel that this might be a detriment to them. Has anyone else dealt with this? Peggy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momee Posted October 19, 2009 Share Posted October 19, 2009 No advice, just smiles. Made me think of the Little House girls and all the fun they had just the two of them :) Can I offer this, which is strange seeing as we don't know each other...Don't look to the world or be caught in the fear of man. Sure, they could probably have their horizons broadened a bit and you're seeing some need for that. Remember though, God knows their situation and He knows what they need. Seek Him in this too. Just a friendly christian sister reminder to be wary of the lie that all kids are surrounded by tons of friends. Comparison is not fun. Not at all saying they might not need more friends, just encouragement to seek the blessing in their meek and quiet spirits. This from a mom who struggles with just the opposite :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mooooom Posted October 19, 2009 Share Posted October 19, 2009 They are very similar to how you describe your girls. They have always been shy; it's very difficult to determine if they would have been less shy if singletons, my dd is 14 and is also pretty shy, although less than the boys. I have noticed, recently, that one of the boys is more interested than the other in hanging out w/ other kids (w/o his brother hanging on him). So maybe change is coming. The worst thing about their shyness is the whole twin thing, they always feel that people are staring at them like they are different - they are very self concious about that. THis is exacerbated by the fact that they compete in the same sport, anytime it comes about that they have to fence each other they practically have a breakdown, because they feel like people watch them as if they were a circus freak show. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted October 19, 2009 Share Posted October 19, 2009 My last two, twin girls who are 14, are great, loving, helpful girls. They have no friends, just each other. How nice that they have each other. My dd11 says she'd love to have a sister closer to her age so she would have at least one friend. She and her big sister get along, but they are too far in age to be best friends (their opinions, not mine). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tricia Posted October 19, 2009 Share Posted October 19, 2009 My twin girls right now are only 11. BUT, I have older girls who are 'guilty' of the same behavior. 3 of my eldest 4 girls were like that. They were all 3 born in just 3 years and are very close. I do think, and believe that the fact that we homeschool AND live in a rural area that that is why they are each other's best friends. And yes, to the exclusion of others. They are now 22, 20 and 19 and 2 of them will be at college together this year and all 3 girls do well with others. They are totally fine being with others but are content with one another. Now, back to my twin girls. I thought it was just a twin thing. But they are tight. Their younger sisters are 9, 7, and 3 and they play fine together and are great buddies but clearly, there is something stronger with the twins. I've stopped trying to wrap my brain around it though. They are socially healthy girls, all of them to be exact, so I'm not worrying. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ravin Posted October 19, 2009 Share Posted October 19, 2009 Do they have any differing interests you could foster? My younger sisters are identical twins, but were public schooled. Still, at that age they were still hanging out together and in the same group of friends for the most part. One tended to be more of a leader, and the other would follow along. I don't think either really identified with having a best friend of her own until the later high school years. They did have some differing interests, though, and were just maybe starting to develop different taste in clothes by that age, though they were never much into dressing alike. By late high school, they had only partially-interlocking circles of friends, one went on a 3 week abroad program to Australia alone, while the other went on a Girl Scout trip across the country. One got a boyfriend, etc. Give them time, and encourage independence where it seems natural. There's nothing wrong with them being each other's best friends. My sisters have gone through rocky spots when they didn't get along, but in the long haul I think on several levels have always been closer to each other than to anyone else, even when living in separate states. They turn 30 this year (eek that makes me feel old; part of my brain still thinks of them as twelve!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.