Musicians getting paid for services

[Beebalm]

I'm feeling lousy. My teenage kids are musicians. They play for various events in my community. They donate their services for some things (church, charity events) and get paid for weddings, funerals, etc. They began when they were pretty young, and I never felt right about setting a fee for them, mainly because I didn't want them to feel like they were supposed to get paid for everything. AND just because they were my kids and I felt weird about it. :tongue_smilie: Therefore, we set up an account in each child's name (with their blessing) and any funds they earn or have donated goes into their continuing music fund. They use it to go to music camp in the summer typically....it's all we can do to make their regular tuition and music fees. I love that they work for their camp because it gives them some ownership. Back to why I feel lousy.

They played for a funeral over a month ago for a lovely lady that we didn't know. Her son had heard them at another funeral and called me to ask them to play for his mom's service. Her family was quite gracious and obviously thrilled with the music the girls had prepared. The son of the deceased came to me several times that afternoon thanking me for bringing them, saying that his mom would have been so pleased, and that he'd call me the next morning to arrange something for the girls. No call ever came. I waited a little over a month, agonized over what to do, and decided that my kids had been taken advantage of. I wrote a very nice note to the son, reminding him that he'd said he'd call, that I knew it was a difficult time, and that I knew he'd want me to tell him about the 'oversight'. I explained that they played to be able to enrich their music education and what they use their donations/scholarships for. Then after a couple of more weeks of agonizing, praying, rephrasing the letter, etc., I sent it.

Today he showed up at my house with a beautiful bracelet for each of my kids and a generous check toward their music fund.

Okay, musicians. AM I A CLOD? (Wow, I'm really asking for it) I'm not a musician but I do know how very hard most good musicians work. I've seen a number of musicians not be paid for their time, gas, and hard work. I've even paid a few pianists on the sly because I found out that they were being expected to accompany my kids for free. Embarrassing. So why do I feel so lousy for trying to teach my kids to take up for themselves? Sorry this is so long. Off to my children's zillionth music lesson. I'll check back tonight to see if I'm a horrible clod. Thanks for listening.

[amy g.]

I think you did great, but then I'm a clod, so consider the source.

[kpupg]

You did the right thing. He probably totally forgot and felt bad when you reminded him. He wanted to make it right, and he did.

 

 

:iagree:

 

Good for you for having the courage to speak up about it. I would also suggest that you move toward a more professional mindset about it. Being up front about it, including having a usual set fee, would not be at all bad or greedy or whatever -- it would be normal and professional. Most people like to know what they're getting into, including the musicians' fees.

 

Karen

[Guest Dulcimeramy]

:iagree:

 

Good for you for having the courage to speak up about it. I would also suggest that you move toward a more professional mindset about it. Being up front about it, including having a usual set fee, would not be at all bad or greedy or whatever -- it would be normal and professional. Most people like to know what they're getting into, including the musicians' fees.

 

Karen

 

:iagree:

[athena1277]

:iagree:

 

Good for you for having the courage to speak up about it. I would also suggest that you move toward a more professional mindset about it. Being up front about it, including having a usual set fee, would not be at all bad or greedy or whatever -- it would be normal and professional. Most people like to know what they're getting into, including the musicians' fees.

 

Karen

 

I agree that you should set the fee for their playing at different events. It would be a help to someone like me who would have no idea what to pay someone for playing at an event for me.

[KingM]

They did the work, they should get paid. It's that simple. If they want to donate their time in certain circumstances, that's a different story.

 

I do agree you should set a fee schedule. You could wave or reduce it in some circumstances, but it would give both you and the people who are contracting the services a good starting point.

[MusicMama]

That can be an awkward position to be in! I'm sorry you were in that position, people sometimes forget, or even try to take advantage of young musicians. I've seen both. But you handled it very well. To prevent it from happening in the future, sit down with your kids and decide what events will they do for free? For example, I'm playing for a funeral on Saturday, and won't charge anything because the deceased and his family are members of our church. But, if I was to play for someone else, I would charge. That's my policy. Your kids may feel there are certain circumstances in which they would like to donate their time and effort. And then there are others times where they want to be paid. Put it on paper, and refer to it when they make a "booking". Also, talk to their music instructor about what fee is appropriate. You may be surprised at how much people are willing to pay for even a young musician. Remember to take into consideration time spent practicing (is the music hard?), the amount of songs/pieces needed, the amount of time spent at the venue, and the amount of time spent getting to the venue. It can be confusing, so putting together this info before hand saves a world of regret later, when you end up driving two hours to play 10 minutes, and only get paid $20.00! (Because it was only a short, easy piece!) Also, don't be afraid to say, "We're glad you called, I can give you a price tomorrow." Never apologize for charging money! It sounds like you have hard working, talented children. If people do ask why, just state your reasons, music camp, lessons, gas, books, whatever. It's the same if your son mowed lawns or daughter babysat. If your kids are happy working by using their talents, don't feel guilty for "hawking" them. But if they are old enough, it is GREAT experience for them to speak with customers, and give rate quotes. I'm a professional musician, and the experience I gained working as a pre-teen/teenager was VERY instrumental in getting music scholarships for my college degree. They LOVE to see work experience! Sounds like you and your kids are doing a great job!

[Cammie]

You did absolutely the right thing. And I know it was hard!

 

Think about what the message would have been to your chilldren if you did nothing - that it was ok for other people to take advantage of them and say nothing. Unfortunately, lots of women have this problem (me included.) Lots of times I would keep quite because I didn't want to make a scene or cause someone else to be uncomfortable. Living abroad has cured me of this problem, by the way. I don't know why but I no longer hesitate to find a manager, register a complaint, explain my position and stand my ground. Perhaps it is wisdom coming with age?:tongue_smilie:

[Ibbygirl]

I see no evidence of clodiness either. He probably did overlook it due to his grief and your letter reminded him of his promise. Nothing wrong with that. If he responds generously with gifts for the girls, embrace it. They performed and waited patiently over a month to get paid. He was obvioulsy grateful to them and felt that they were worth what he gave. I think it's great. :)

[hillfarm]

The Bible says that the workman is worthy of his hire (wage). Your children deserve no less. It is better to have a fee schedule worked out, and possibly printed out, in advance of the request. Then your family can determine in which circumstances they wish to donate their services. People are always pleasantly surprised to learn after the fact that a performance is a donation rather than unpleasantly taken aback to learn that something they wrongly assumed was for free was not.

[Guest Katia]

I agree with the general consensus here that you are not a clod and that you did the right thing in reminding this gentleman of his promise. However......

 

Had you simply set a fee and signed a simple contract that stated the place, event, length of time to play, type of music they wanted and when the fee was to be paid....this wouldn't have been an issue for either party.

 

My girls play for a lot of community events and a lot of them are donated time. However, there are events that they charge for (funerals when we don't know the party, weddings, teas, anniversaries, etc.) and we have found that the use of a simple contract makes everything go smoother; each party knows exactly what to expect from the other and there are fewer misunderstandings.

 

Your kids are smart enough to not think they need to get paid every time they play. Let them help to make the decision of whether or not to donate their time and when the event warrants a fee.

 

Set a fee schedule and stick to it. We have found that charging by the 1/2 hour is best, with the 1/2 hour fee being the smallest; so even if they are only wanted to play 2 songs or 15 minutes we still charge the 1/2 hour fee.

And in the case of one of my dds, she plays a very large instrument and if we need to travel very far, we charge a portage fee. This is all stated in the signed contract.

 

We always make sure to put any cancellation information in the contract as well (the latest the other party may cancel without a fee and if my dds are sick then can cancel, etc). My dds are paid before the event begins, usually right before they start playing, that way it isn't forgotten. The one exception to this being the local funeral home where they have their own contract and they send a check to my dds usually 1 week after the funeral. But....there again, we know what to expect because it's all written down and signed. Really, I can't stress to you enough how important this is.

 

Don't ever feel bad about setting fees for your children and don't make them feel bad about it. If they didn't have the talent, ability or take the time to practice and do a good job; they wouldn't be asked to play. What a great way to earn money to music camps!

[Beebalm]

I just got in and read your comments. Thank you all so much. I've been in a funk all day and felt embarrassed every time I thought about it. Your comments, encouragement, and suggestions really helped. Being a parent can get you into the weirdest situations. I never dreamed that I'd be trying to be an advocate/manager/chauffeur of two musicians. If my kids do decide to pursue music as a career, I want them to know their work is valuable and that they have to take up for themselves. The whole funeral thing is always so fast....there's no time to discuss fees...they just call and ask the kids to play within a day or two. There's never been a issue before with folks sending payment, and it always seems so crass to say to someone who's making funeral arrangements for a family member, 'Oh by the way, their fee is...." I don't always know if the death was expected or sudden. It's all too complicated for my tired brain tonight. Thank you all for your help. I'll try to figure out how to set some kind of fee schedule. Thanks again.

[Mrs Mungo]

They did the work, they should get paid. It's that simple. If they want to donate their time in certain circumstances, that's a different story.

 

I do agree you should set a fee schedule. You could wave or reduce it in some circumstances, but it would give both you and the people who are contracting the services a good starting point.

 

:iagree:

 

Many people wouldn't know where to start to figure out what to pay.