Kimm in WA Posted September 25, 2009 Share Posted September 25, 2009 We got DS 16 cell phone when he got his license and now he's at CC. He has a Tracfone and has to buy his own minutes. He is spending all his $ on phone cards and the incessant texting drives me nuts. I admit to being a control freak, but I don't like not knowing when my son gets a text and from who, unlike when someone calls the house. Not that he's at the CC, I don't like the distraction of people being able to text and reach him at any time (except during class, at work, driving, and at night). His spending $ is his to spend as he pleases, but how do you all handle the texting issue? Nothing drives me more batty than talking with someone only to be "interrupted" by them reaching into their pocket to check a text whether or not it rang out loud (young adults even do this!). I know I'm OLD (41) and this is the new culture but I DON'T LIKE IT!! Is this unfair to my son? How do you all handle it? TIA! Kimm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted September 25, 2009 Share Posted September 25, 2009 Weeeelll...his phone, his money...and he IS a young adult. That being said. Interrupting a conversation to check a text is simply rude. That's the aspect I would tackle, more than anything else. And...you could set him up with a sample budget. Point out what he would need to pay rent, etc...talk to him about financial responsibility. That would be the tactic I'd use. If you simply try and tell him what to do, it might backfire. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AndyJoy Posted September 25, 2009 Share Posted September 25, 2009 It's only "his" money because you provide all his physical needs for him. My parents required my sister and me to save a percentage of "our" earnings (though I wanted to anyway) as preparation for adulthood. This could solve part of the problem. I would present this as a separate issue and not make the connection to the phone with him, though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thowell Posted September 25, 2009 Share Posted September 25, 2009 Yeah right there with you. My girl is 17 and her texting is driving me CRAZY!!!! We have had to set some rules. I agree it is rude to interrupt to answer a call we have discussed this and also no phone during dinner, homework, chores, etc. She also has to put her phone on my dresser at night after her phone curfew. All that being said Tracfone is not cheap. If you are going to allow him to keep texting you may want to look for a phone that gives unlimited. Boost by nextel is $50 amonth and gives unlimited text and voice. Good luck to you Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MarthaT Posted September 25, 2009 Share Posted September 25, 2009 I would look into a different phone if he is spending all of his money on it. Tracfone is really not a good plan for a frequent user at all Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Haiku Posted September 25, 2009 Share Posted September 25, 2009 Nothing drives me more batty than talking with someone only to be "interrupted" by them reaching into their pocket to check a text whether or not it rang out loud (young adults even do this!). I have a 15 year old. She does not have a cell phone because I am mean and old-fashioned and won't allow her to have one, so take my advice with a grain of salt. If my child did this, I would hold out my hand and keep it out until the cell phone was in it. It would then become my cell phone until I felt the desire to return it. You do NOT have to put up with such rudeness. His spending $ is his to spend as he pleases My dd tried to make this argument with me. My dh and I told her that as long as she lives in our house, she has to abide by our rules about how money is spent. I don't micromanage her spending behavior, but neither will be I bullied into allowing her to buy a tv for her room (for example) just because it's "her money." I asked her where she thinks "her" money comes from! Tara Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hornblower Posted September 25, 2009 Share Posted September 25, 2009 I asked her where she thinks "her" money comes from! Tara I agree with you but I've been wondering about the issue of money which kids earn or receive from relatives. Do you think it gets stickier? My kids don't have jobs but they do get $ from grandparents - who essentially double their allowance. It hasn't been an issue yet but I'm trying to think ahead..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wagnfun Posted September 25, 2009 Share Posted September 25, 2009 (edited) He is spending all his $ on phone cards and the incessant texting drives me nuts. I admit to being a control freak, but I don't like not knowing when my son gets a text and from who, unlike when someone calls the house. Not that he's at the CC, I don't like the distraction of people being able to text and reach him at any time (except during class, at work, driving, and at night). His spending $ is his to spend as he pleases, but how do you all handle the texting issue? Nothing drives me more batty than talking with someone only to be "interrupted" by them reaching into their pocket to check a text whether or not it rang out loud (young adults even do this!). I know I'm OLD (41) and this is the new culture but I DON'T LIKE IT!! Is this unfair to my son? How do you all handle it? TIA! Kimm I'm sry if this sounds snarky, dont mean to.. but you mentioned two issues. Is your issue that you still feel the need to control who and when a person contacts your son, your desire to know what the text is about OR the rude action of answering a phone when you are having a conversation with him? At 16, you know if you can trust him. If you do, then let him fly a little and deal with your control issues.. if you don't then he shouldn't have a cell phone b/c he isn't trustworthy. As far as tracphone, I agree with the other posters, that is expensive! My teens (14 & 19) phones are $12 a month with unlimited text. Cell rules here are no phone at dinner, when mom or dad is talking to you you can NOT answer the phone, or text. I also have the right, because I pay the bill, to read my 14yr olds text at ANY time. My 19 yr old too but shes mellow and boring in the text department ;) i also agree with the money issue that my kids can spend on what they want if its ok with our rules. Edited September 26, 2009 by wagnfun Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Haiku Posted September 25, 2009 Share Posted September 25, 2009 I agree with you but I've been wondering about the issue of money which kids earn or receive from relatives. Do you think it gets stickier? Nope. As long as my child lives in my house she lives by my rules. When she has her own place, she can make her own rules. I certainly allow my daughter to spend her money mostly as she chooses, but there are certain things that my husband and I have decided on together that we are unwilling to allow, and I don't care how she came by the money ... my house, my rules. At 16, you know if you can trust him. If you do, then let him fly a little and deal with your control issues.. if you don't then he should have a cell phone b/c he isn't trustworthy. I agree with this. If you trust your son to have a cell phone, then the concern should be directed at his rude behavior with the phone, not with micromanaging who contacts him. Tara Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Haiku Posted September 25, 2009 Share Posted September 25, 2009 I like the way you think. :D You're one of few, my dear. ;) Tara Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TraceyS/FL Posted September 25, 2009 Share Posted September 25, 2009 Verizon has "usage" controls.... https://wbillpay.verizonwireless.com/vzw/nos/uc/uc_home.jsp And, if you are doing prepaid, you might want to consider the kajeet phones. http://www.kajeet.com/4u/services-and-rates.html I know that you could set it up so that you paid so much a month, or always paid for calls to certain numbers and all that. But it might be more cost-effective on the prepaid side. Or one of the unlimited from Virgin or MetroPCS. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pongo Posted September 25, 2009 Share Posted September 25, 2009 My 11 year old has a call out cell phone only. No texting. She can call anytime but she the phone will not receive any incoming calls or texts. When she gets a call it's on the home phone. When she is at youth group or soccer she will call for a ride. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wagnfun Posted September 26, 2009 Share Posted September 26, 2009 Does that $12 cover unlimited calling too? Or just texting? Free weekend, unlimited texting, free mobile to mobile. We as a family with 4 cells phones share 1500 minutes and never use them up. We have tmobile Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.