Survey: If you had to abandon hsing....

[8filltheheart]

My answer still stands. I am not at all "tense" about people being strong in their convictions. However, I also know that strong convictions can often actually cause blindness to truth. Sometimes what starts out as a positive can ultimately be negative but those convictions prevent the reality of that truth from being seen.

 

I read your OP about how many people homeschool b/c of religious reasons. I deliberately didn't respond. Why? b/c the above statement is my truth. My homeschool mission statement that I wrote 14+ yrs ago is firmly rooted in religious conviction. I was convicted that homeschooling was what we what we were supposed to be doing. Meanwhile our ds's mental illness was negatively impacting every one in the family......him included.

 

To give you an idea of where I am coming from, this is our homeschool mission statement:

 

"As cooperators with God in the creation of life, we have been blessed by our children's lives. Their souls, given by God and consecrated in Baptism, are endowed with the character of Christ. Thus, in every aspect of life, we must nurture and protect their souls from any evils which would threaten their coming unto Christ. Since God has entrusted the care of their souls into our care, we as their parents are therefore obligated to be their primary educators in all things.

 

In Deuteronomy 6:1-7. Proverbs 22:6, Psalm 77:1-7, Ephesians 6:4, and numerous other verses, we are commanded to raise our children in the ways of the Lord. Since the ways of Christ encompass every facet of our lives, it is impossible to separate academic education from Christianity. We would be gravely failing in our duty as their primary educators and jeopardizing their immortal souls if we exposed them to the immoral behavior and God-defiant education they would be exposed to elsewhere."

 

Guess what? I gravely failed my ds and my other children by continuing to homeschool him. I have to wonder how things would be if I had intervened earlier. I bear the burden of that guilt. There are larger "threats" to our children and our families than educational options.

 

So, my answer remains.....we simply can't know what circumstances will shift homeschooling from a positive choice to a negative. Death may be an obvious answer, but it certainly may not be the only one. Since I have had to really step back and evaluate our decision w/o blinders, I have been humbled by the realization that God has placed paths before me that I was unwilling to recognize. My "truth" was really pride. We simply need to be open to what the Holy Spirit might really be guiding us to see vs our vision.

[8filltheheart]

Why can't we share where WE are on this board without worrying about offending others, and why can't we be mature when we disagree?

 

Huh???? Precisely who hasn't been mature when we disagree?

It appears to me that disagreeing is what you are having a problem with, not how it is being answered.

[Nestof3]

Momof7,

 

I was not implying that YOU had not been mature. It was a in the same vein as there are going to be different situations, different lifestyles, different viewpoints, but can we not still share what we can from where we are without worrying about someone else being in a different place, getting offended and not handling the differences maturely.

 

No where did I point the finger at you being that person. And, no, I have absolutely no problems with why or why not people homeschool.

 

I have a good friend who is considering homeschooling for one year. Her daughter is in a strenuous private school, the girl is the youngest 5th grader in her class, and the principal has recommended that she repeat the 5th grade. My friend is considering spending that 5th grade year homeschooling to identify what specifically her daughter is not understanding and also to spend a year focusing on her relationship with her daughter.

 

Her homeschool vision here is different than mine. Her circumstances are different. I don't feel the need to tell her to homeschool through high school, and she doesn't feel the need to tell me pricate school is better. We don't even share the same faith. Again, we can be different and not feel condemned by each others' choices.

[Plaid Dad]

Money - specifically both of us parents having to work full-time to get by, particularly if we both had to take jobs outside the home.

[Scarlett]

and with the real estate market so terrible, it's possible that will happen this year.

Michelle T

 

Why would the terrible real estate market force you back to work?

[Scarlett]

For me it would be dh forcing me to send ds to public school. This is a constant worry for me. And of course, since dh is not a huge supporter I just assume my death would mean the end of my ds's homeschooling.

 

Divorce wouldn't do it, as I would live frugally and take in kids to watch in order to get by. Dh's death wouldn't either as we have adequate life insurance.

 

I do get exhausted at times...and much of that is the mental strain of not having dh on board. I feel I can't ever complain about a bad day, or have the house messy or things like that. A lot of that is more my perception than reality, but it does wear me out.

 

I have an only also, and the friends thing is not near as big a deal as often reported. School isn't for 'friends' anyway. They are suppose to be learning up there. :smilielol5:

[Christine in FL]

We chose to return to homeschooling because the ps couldn't provide the level of education our sons needed. Our oldest in now in 9th grade. By 11th grade, we expect him to be attend the ps and take most of his classes on-line/dual enrollment. I will continue to homeschool our other sons until we decide that another option is better for them.

 

Although this goes against the hs mindset, one reason we are sending him to ps is to allow him to experience the excitment of being a junior and senior in high school (student government, service clubs, weightlifting classes with his teammates, graduation, prom, etc). He is a gifted student and excellent athlete in the high school (he plays football and baseball for the ps). He is very responsible and has a respectful attitude while at home and at work (he works 1 day a week). My dh also believes it is important for ds to begin to make choices on his own while still under the discipline and protection of our home. In 3 years he will be off to college and having to make choices (and enjoy/suffer the consequences of those choices) without our on-the-spot guidance.

 

As stated earlier...no hser can make decisions for another hser, nor do I believe truly criticize their choice. I will say that it has been encouraging, though, to read other's responses!

[Paisley Hedgehog]

nm

[Tokyomarie]

I think the most realistic answers you received were Christy's and Elizabeth's. And whoever said....never say never. It is absolutely impossible to know how you will respond to circumstances until you have actually worn the shoes.

 

I began homeschooling 14+ yrs ago with the conviction that homeschooling was not simply the best option, it was THE ONLY option. Life and time has definitely taught me that those beliefs and values were not only egotistical and arrogant, they were hollow. I totally disagree NOW that other options are inherently worse. The reality is they are inherently different. I totally disagree NOW that homeschooling is always the best decision.

 

All educational choices have pros and cons. Homeschooling is no different. There are tradeoffs. Christy's honest exhaustion reply.....btdt, doing it now. I am tired, too. I know exactly how she feels. I miss having extra lovey time with my littler ones b/c I am having to spend so much time schooling my older ones. I also readily recognize that others are capable of providing a better education than I can provide (thinking specifically about high school here......there is truth in the saying "jack of all trades but master of none." Masters in a subject CAN offer more depth and breadth to subjects than I can with my superficial knowledge.)

 

So far, for me, the benefits of homeschooling the majority of my children have outweighed the realistic cons of not. For one child who is now in school, the negatives of homeschooling definitely outweighed the benefits of school.

 

This simply isn't a question that anyone can answer for anyone else. Until you have lived through what life has in store for you and you weigh in all the available information at that time----firmly planting yourself in one place or the other seems to me to be the wrong answer.

 

I appreciate momof7's answer. This is my 8th year homeschooling full-time; previously- while overseas- we afterschooled part-time for 9 years. I have a stronger commitment to my children's overall education than I do to the concept of homeschooling. So far, since we've lived in the USA, I have not seen an educational option within a reasonable drive from home that would cause me to leave homeschooling behind. So, for the present time, I am highly committed to homeschooling.

 

Over the last nearly 23 years since my first child was born, I have lived enough life and watched others live enough life that I realize we can't know ahead of time what curves life will throw us and what will actually bring us to the point where we have to depart from our ideal and accept what is real- not just in homeschooling but in all of life.

[OneRoomHomeSchool]

Over my dead body would my kids not be homeschooled. ;)

[Perry]

2 reasons:

1. Severe burnout

2. Evidence that my kids would be better off in school.

[SparrowsNest]

Well, I haven't homeschooled anyone yet, heh heh. Next year is a trial year for us and we will see how it goes. I'm not pinning my success as a woman, mother, or human being on this endeavor. If it works, it works. If not, we've got decent public schools, a quasi-classical Christian school, and a college prep school which are all options, and I will have enjoyed spending a year with my second son.