Article- Overbooked Kids?

[Perry]

Overbooked kids? Nah, it's parents who stress

 

This matches what I'm seeing.

 

When my kids were little I decided I'd let them pick one activity per year. I was worried about "overbooking".

HA.

That lasted until they were about 6. I'm glad I gave in. They are very busy, but thriving.

[nmoira]

That lasted until they were about 6. I'm glad I gave in. They are very busy, but thriving.

I don't think it's problem for kids when they have lots of activities per se, but rather when they have little downtime and opportunity for free play. As homeschoolers we can take the kids to 5 or 6 scheduled activities a week (for us, 2x swimming, 2x Aikido, gymnastics) and still have plenty of downtime because our school days are significantly shorter than those of public schools. My only rules for scheduled activities are: (1) we get one weekday and one weekend day off; and, (2) total travel time must not exceed activity time.

 

Edited to add: It's Rule 2 that helps keep us *all* sane. :)

Edited September 2, 2009 by nmoira

[jujsky]

We have always done several activities, and my kids are thriving. This year they are both doing co-op and drama together. DD has 2 dance classes, DS has gymnastics and skating. If my friend gets her Spiral Scouts group going this winter, both kids will be in that as well. So right now, 4 activities each with a possible 5th.

 

That wouldn't be possible if we weren't homeschooling though. The kids would be too tired to do all that, and I feel they truly would be over-extended.

[JennifersLost]

We used to have multiple activities. Now we're down to one per kid. Sometimes I question that.

 

 

BUT...it's not only the "overbooked" feeling that led me to this. It's also that I believe our society has raised expectations about what living a good life looks like - and I believe our kids are going to suffer big time as adults because they won't be able to live up to it.

 

Let me put it this way: Four activities (one per child) are going to cost me $3600 this year. (minimum - there will be additional expenses along the way).

 

If I allowed each one to have another activity, it would be $7200, right? (maybe some activities are cheaper).

 

Now add in things like family vacations, going skiing a couple of times, dinners out, movies, and all the other things that an average North American child now feels entitled to - at a minimum - that are really luxuries.

 

We could easily spend $20,000 a year, or more - just on LUXURIES! That's not affordable or realistic for us.

 

I have downsized my life considerably from the life I became accustomed to as a child. It's been really hard to take that step back. It's often kept me from appreciating that I live like a queen compared to most people in this world.

 

But I'm working very hard right now to present to my children a sustainable life; one that doesn't include participation in the rat race. If one income paid for everything we needed and more, and if I didn't feel rushed, harried or frustrated by doing the driving, then I would consider adding more activities. Right now that's not the case. I refuse to give my kids an example of a stressed out, overextended, debt-ridden mother. So, it's one activity per kid for us!

[ChristusG]

I agree. I dont think it's the kids that get overtired or anything, it's just me lol. But I do worry about lack of downtime. And I dont really like being gone every single night of the week.

 

I have two DD's, five years old and two years old. We'll have soccer practice on Tuesday evenings, homeschool group on Wed morning, AWANA on Wednesday nights, dinner at my parents house on Thursdays, soccer game on Saturday mornings, church on Sunday. So while we are only doing one "extracurricular activity" we still have to factor in homeschool things and church events that take up time as well.

[AuntieM]

If we had the homework load that the local public school kids here bring home, plus a limited time frame to cram in those activities (ie, only after school hours), I would say the kids would be stressed.

 

But with our flexible, tutoring style home based education and the ability to participate in some extracurriculars (not to mention doc appts) during school hours, the kids aren't stressed by a hectic schedule. I think they love it! I do believe they need decompression time, but we find that in our easy-start-to-the-day philosophy. DS14 is finding the need to get a much earlier start, as will the others as they grow older, but he is adjusting well.

 

It IS a killer for me, though. With 4 kids and all having different interests, whew! It's tough. We are forced to limit due to limited finances and things that overlap. Just can't be everywhere at once and get dinner into everyone, too.

 

Now if I had an unlimited food budget and we could pop into a healthy eating place as needed when we are on the go, that would certainly decrease me stress! But, not gonna happen any time soon.

[AuntieM]

We used to have multiple activities. Now we're down to one per kid. Sometimes I question that.

 

 

BUT...it's not only the "overbooked" feeling that led me to this. It's also that I believe our society has raised expectations about what living a good life looks like - and I believe our kids are going to suffer big time as adults because they won't be able to live up to it.

 

Let me put it this way: Four activities (one per child) are going to cost me $3600 this year. (minimum - there will be additional expenses along the way).

 

If I allowed each one to have another activity, it would be $7200, right? (maybe some activities are cheaper).

 

Now add in things like family vacations, going skiing a couple of times, dinners out, movies, and all the other things that an average North American child now feels entitled to - at a minimum - that are really luxuries.

 

We could easily spend $20,000 a year, or more - just on LUXURIES! That's not affordable or realistic for us.

 

I have downsized my life considerably from the life I became accustomed to as a child. It's been really hard to take that step back. It's often kept me from appreciating that I live like a queen compared to most people in this world.

 

But I'm working very hard right now to present to my children a sustainable life; one that doesn't include participation in the rat race. If one income paid for everything we needed and more, and if I didn't feel rushed, harried or frustrated by doing the driving, then I would consider adding more activities. Right now that's not the case. I refuse to give my kids an example of a stressed out, overextended, debt-ridden mother. So, it's one activity per kid for us!

 

Jennifer, I appreciate your comments. Well stated!

[Perry]

We used to have multiple activities. Now we're down to one per kid. Sometimes I question that.

 

 

BUT...it's not only the "overbooked" feeling that led me to this. It's also that I believe our society has raised expectations about what living a good life looks like - and I believe our kids are going to suffer big time as adults because they won't be able to live up to it.

 

Let me put it this way: Four activities (one per child) are going to cost me $3600 this year. (minimum - there will be additional expenses along the way).

 

If I allowed each one to have another activity, it would be $7200, right? (maybe some activities are cheaper).

 

Now add in things like family vacations, going skiing a couple of times, dinners out, movies, and all the other things that an average North American child now feels entitled to - at a minimum - that are really luxuries.

 

We could easily spend $20,000 a year, or more - just on LUXURIES! That's not affordable or realistic for us.

 

I have downsized my life considerably from the life I became accustomed to as a child. It's been really hard to take that step back. It's often kept me from appreciating that I live like a queen compared to most people in this world.

 

But I'm working very hard right now to present to my children a sustainable life; one that doesn't include participation in the rat race. If one income paid for everything we needed and more, and if I didn't feel rushed, harried or frustrated by doing the driving, then I would consider adding more activities. Right now that's not the case. I refuse to give my kids an example of a stressed out, overextended, debt-ridden mother. So, it's one activity per kid for us!

 

Really good points. I worry about those things too.

[TravelingChris]

I don't overschedule the kids but they do have full schedules. FOr my older dd this year, that includes Honor Society once a month, 4h twice a month, debate twice a month plus meetings with partner, choir once a week practice plus getting to church earlier and singing at church plus after church practice when youth choir starts again, soccer once a week, co-op classes once a week, and probably volunteering at the library once a week. How much does all this cost- hardly anything. THe soccer is something like 35 a season, the co-op classes are 75 a year, the debate is about 100 a year, and the 4h is about 10 a year. There is no cost to the choirs and no cost for volunteering. She was on dive team in the summer and I think that cost about 100 for the season.

 

Her younger sister has other costs: band class for 270 a year plus books, co-op for 75 plus an additional 15 for her materials, 4h for 10, youth choir and volunteering are free. Although one of the ways we may decide to volunteer this year is to foster a kitten and then we woud have to pay for its food.

[NoPlaceLikeHome]

We used to have multiple activities. Now we're down to one per kid. Sometimes I question that.

 

 

BUT...it's not only the "overbooked" feeling that led me to this. It's also that I believe our society has raised expectations about what living a good life looks like - and I believe our kids are going to suffer big time as adults because they won't be able to live up to it.

 

Let me put it this way: Four activities (one per child) are going to cost me $3600 this year. (minimum - there will be additional expenses along the way).

 

If I allowed each one to have another activity, it would be $7200, right? (maybe some activities are cheaper).

 

Now add in things like family vacations, going skiing a couple of times, dinners out, movies, and all the other things that an average North American child now feels entitled to - at a minimum - that are really luxuries.

 

We could easily spend $20,000 a year, or more - just on LUXURIES! That's not affordable or realistic for us.

 

I have downsized my life considerably from the life I became accustomed to as a child. It's been really hard to take that step back. It's often kept me from appreciating that I live like a queen compared to most people in this world.

 

But I'm working very hard right now to present to my children a sustainable life; one that doesn't include participation in the rat race. If one income paid for everything we needed and more, and if I didn't feel rushed, harried or frustrated by doing the driving, then I would consider adding more activities. Right now that's not the case. I refuse to give my kids an example of a stressed out, overextended, debt-ridden mother. So, it's one activity per kid for us!

 

I agree that money is an issue and my dear husband and I have cut back on everything we could think of:).

 

However, there are many activities that are free or dirt cheap that I have my ds involved in. Granted my ds is an only child and I do over-compensate a little;) There are some activities that we cannot afford, but I have found a multitude of activities on the cheap;).