3lilreds in NC Posted August 10, 2009 Share Posted August 10, 2009 Abbie is taking pre-team gymnastics, and just got new coaches after the summer. She says that her Monday coach tugs on her ponytails when she gets up on the bars. She doesn't like it, and says she asked the coach to stop, which seems to have inspired the coach to do it more. I have not witnessed this; I don't get to stay to watch because Schmooey is too busy; I can't watch when I'm chasing after him anyway. Dh has been there more than I have, but the bars are way in the back and we can't really see what's going on. Do I talk to the coach? Try to take binoculars and see for myself, LOL? How would you approach this? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MamaT Posted August 10, 2009 Share Posted August 10, 2009 I would talk to the coach. I know that won't be easy, but geesh, if she tells the coach to stop then the coach should stop. Nobody should touch someone if that person doesn't want to be touched. :iagree: As a long-time gymnastics mom, this is what I would do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnandtinagilbert Posted August 10, 2009 Share Posted August 10, 2009 Hey Coach. I know you mean well and are doing so in jest, but can you please stop tugging on Sally's pig tails? She really doesn't like it and it distracts her from her bars routine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shinyhappypeople Posted August 10, 2009 Share Posted August 10, 2009 Hey Coach. I know you mean well and are doing so in jest, but can you please stop tugging on Sally's pig tails? She really doesn't like it and it distracts her from her bars routine. :iagree: It's nice, to the point and assumes no ill-will on the part of the coach. I can't imagine why the coach would pull her ponytails in the first place. I try to imagine ANY of the coaches at the gym my girls go to doing that and... nope. Wouldn't happen. It strikes me as really weird. Kind of dangerous, too. Do you really want a gymnast distracted and annoyed while she works out? That's just asking for an injury. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3lilreds in NC Posted August 11, 2009 Author Share Posted August 11, 2009 :I can't imagine why the coach would pull her ponytails in the first place. I try to imagine ANY of the coaches at the gym my girls go to doing that and... nope. Wouldn't happen. It strikes me as really weird. Kind of dangerous, too. Do you really want a gymnast distracted and annoyed while she works out? That's just asking for an injury. Well, see, that was kinda my point, too. What purpose could it possibly serve? I talked to one of the head coaches tonight, and found out that the coach in question was only assisting - she is not the head coach and will not be their on a regular basis. I explained to him what Abbie said had happened, but that I had not seen anything, and know that Abbie is very sensitive; however, she did set a boundary that was not respected and I thought that should be addressed. He told me a little about the coach and said she's trying to work out how she approaches her students. :confused: Anyhoo, the good news is, we won't have her for a regular coach this time around, and that's fine with me! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fivetails Posted August 11, 2009 Share Posted August 11, 2009 He told me a little about the coach and said she's trying to work out how she approaches her students. :confused: Sounds like maybe she doesn't have a lot of experience with kids and is trying to find ways to 'joke' with them/connect..know what I mean? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Georgiana Daniels Posted August 11, 2009 Share Posted August 11, 2009 Glad it's resolved! My kids' gymnastics coaches squirrel around with them like that, but then again, they all spend a lot of time together. There was one time where the coach didn't respect one of my daughter's friend's boundaries, and it was resolved by talking just like you did. I say, if your dd is planning to be in gymnastics long-term, it's a good idea to get to know the coaches. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danestress Posted August 11, 2009 Share Posted August 11, 2009 "I really want you to stop tugging my pony tail. I asked my Mom to call you and she said she would if she had to, but that you would stop if I asked you nicely. Will you stop?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AuntieM Posted August 11, 2009 Share Posted August 11, 2009 Hmmmm...yeah. Better take care of it. I had one gymnastics coach in high school that started like that. Next thing I knew, she reached up and scratched my behind when I was in the middle of a pose on the balance beam. You really don't want it to go there... Anyway, I would hope that your coach is just trying to be playful and has no ill intent, but this behavior needs to stop. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shinyhappypeople Posted August 11, 2009 Share Posted August 11, 2009 He told me a little about the coach and said she's trying to work out how she approaches her students. :confused: Anyhoo, the good news is, we won't have her for a regular coach this time around, and that's fine with me! OK, that makes sense, I guess. I think your friendly feedback will be useful to the assistant. I agree that the biggest thing was that the coach didn't respect your DD's boundary. I'm glad it all worked out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
C_l_e_0..Q_c Posted August 11, 2009 Share Posted August 11, 2009 Well, see, that was kinda my point, too. What purpose could it possibly serve? I stayed one day at gym when the coaches were having a coaching-training. My DD was a guinea pig ;-) Anyway, from that coaching training, I found out that poney tail pulling is a coaching technique, especially on young girls. It makes them lift their head and aligns the body properly for an upcoming move. I would assume your DD was looking down when on the bar - which is a very common situation. The pony tail pulling is meant to lift her head. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnandtinagilbert Posted August 11, 2009 Share Posted August 11, 2009 I stayed one day at gym when the coaches were having a coaching-training. My DD was a guinea pig ;-) Anyway, from that coaching training, I found out that poney tail pulling is a coaching technique, especially on young girls. It makes them lift their head and aligns the body properly for an upcoming move. I would assume your DD was looking down when on the bar - which is a very common situation. The pony tail pulling is meant to lift her head. That's good to know :) I might mention that to dd. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MamaT Posted August 11, 2009 Share Posted August 11, 2009 I stayed one day at gym when the coaches were having a coaching-training. My DD was a guinea pig ;-) Anyway, from that coaching training, I found out that poney tail pulling is a coaching technique, especially on young girls. It makes them lift their head and aligns the body properly for an upcoming move. I would assume your DD was looking down when on the bar - which is a very common situation. The pony tail pulling is meant to lift her head. My dd is a competitive gymnast and has been for years, and NO ONE has ever pulled her hair. Her head coach has coached an Olympic gold medal team and knows what he is doing. I don't think he would put up with any of the other coaches pulling hair as a technique. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
C_l_e_0..Q_c Posted August 11, 2009 Share Posted August 11, 2009 My dd is a competitive gymnast and has been for years, and NO ONE has ever pulled her hair. Her head coach has coached an Olympic gold medal team and knows what he is doing. I don't think he would put up with any of the other coaches pulling hair as a technique. Just to be fair to the coaches here, it was not presented as being *the technique*, but just one tool among many others. Some coaches choose not to use it, others do. And it was only used on little girls that are *pre-competitive*, when they still need to be trained to feel their body position. You tell them to lift their chin, and it goes up less than an inch. If you pull the poney tail at the same time, the head lifts a lot more and the girl goes "ah! that's what you want from me!" I have never seen anyone at our gym pull the poney tail of a competitive girl. By the time they get to that level, the gymnasts should know how to hold their head! Anyway, it's just one of the tools that were presented. It may or may not apply to the OP. However she did ask "what purpose would it serve?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snickelfritz Posted August 11, 2009 Share Posted August 11, 2009 and it wouldn't be painful, unless someone yanked it.:D If that's what the person was using it for vs. being silly and trying to goof around with the kid. Seriously, since dd is in gymnastics, I've been following this thread. Pulling a full ponytail isn't like yanking a strand or two of hair. It makes your head reposition without being painful. I do think that once the young gymnast asked her to stop, if the coach was using it as a technique, it would have been appropriate for the coach to explain WHY they were doing it. "I do that to bring your chin up." simple. done. Everyones on the same page and the gymnast will probably remember it better because they know there's a point to it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snickelfritz Posted August 11, 2009 Share Posted August 11, 2009 I must have a sensitive head because pulling at my pony tail hurts like heck. Growing up with an older sister fixing my hair made sure of that. But it's a good point and that may be why the OP's dd detests it so much. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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