If you have a child with Asperger's

[Laurie4b]

I have a question. I have a friend whose child was dx'd with Asperger's when he was young--maybe K at the oldest. He's now a teen and does very well. There are a few very slight social things, but if I didn't know the dx, I don't think I'd notice.

 

When talking about him to people, she typically says he has autism. Do you consider these terms interchangeable? I know that Asperger's is on the autism spectrum, but I thought it was more high-functioning than what is typically called autism.

 

I've actually wondered about asking her why she uses the term autism. He is so high-functioning that there are only the very most subtle signs left. I probably wouldn't notice if I didn't know the dx.

[MamaSheep]

I have a question. I have a friend whose child was dx'd with Asperger's when he was young--maybe K at the oldest. He's now a teen and does very well. There are a few very slight social things, but if I didn't know the dx, I don't think I'd notice.

 

When talking about him to people, she typically says he has autism. Do you consider these terms interchangeable? I know that Asperger's is on the autism spectrum, but I thought it was more high-functioning than what is typically called autism.

 

I've actually wondered about asking her why she uses the term autism. He is so high-functioning that there are only the very most subtle signs left. I probably wouldn't notice if I didn't know the dx.

 

My ds is 12 and was diagnosed at age 5. At home he's very "normal", though some of his more autistic traits do tend to come out more when he's in an unfamiliar setting, around strangers, or the focus of everyone's attention--and therefore nervous and stressed. I suspect that by the time he's in his late teens he'll mostly just be "quirky" but very functional. Especially with all the things he's overcome or learned to manage already.

 

But I do the same thing your friend does most of the time and just call it "autism". The two terms, Asperger's Syndrome and Autism are not really interchangeable, but it's in the same way that square and rectangle are not really interchangeable--all kids with Asperger's have an autism spectrum disorder, but not all kids with an autism disorder have Asperger's. If that makes sense. There are other kinds of disorders that are also referred to as autism spectrum disorder. They're currently understood to exist kind of along a continuum from more severe to less severe, with the "high" end of the spectrum sort of petering off vaguely into normalcy. But it's all considered part of the same continuum, or spectrum, which is usually called "autism" in "official" settings like schools, insurance companies, and governmental institutions.

 

There are a number of unresolved arguments, scientifically speaking, as to whether AS is a less severe form of what we classically understand to be autism, or whether it's its own, separate disorder. But the difference between the two is more often in the degree of impairment than it is in the type.

 

Like your friend, I most often just say my son is autistic, meaning that he falls under that general "umbrella", rather than getting down to brass tacks and talking actual diagnosis labels. There are two main reasons I do this. One is that people who are filling out paperwork mostly want to know what category they're dealing with. The other is that many more people have at least HEARD of autism than have heard of Asperger's. People who have heard of autism generally have some sense of sympathy (or at least fear...lol) and are willing to make allowances for people who struggle in those ways. So if I say "he's autistic" it usually gets the job done quickly and efficiently. Most people just want to know there's something unusual going on there and what they are expected to do about it, they don't really want to know the details. So I can say, "I'm sorry, he's autistic, it's nothing personal just give him a little space to calm down," (or whatever) and it's taken care of. They understand that he's not normal (whatever that means in their head) and they know what to do to resolve the situation (because I just told them). If I say, "He needs space, he has Asperger's," they say, "What's Asperger's and why would someone with it need space?" and instead of getting on with whatever we're doing I wind up trying to explain about there being a spectrum of autism disorders etc. and how he fits and what specific problems he has and why. Now, I am perfectly comfortable talking all that over with people who are regular parts of our lives, from relatives and friends to interested neighbors, to church teachers and scout leaders and whatnot. But the people we just encounter in passing, like the store clerk or zoo tour guide or the next passenger over on the airplane don't need to know, and usually don't really WANT to know. And in those kinds of settings we all have things we want to get done that don't involve extensive autism education.

 

In other words, it mostly boils down to "it's just easier". Long explanations are great when you have time and people really want to know, but otherwise you just use the shorthand to keep things moving. Nowadays many, many more people have heard of Asperger's and will know what you mean if you use the term, but back when your friend's son was diagnosed almost nobody had heard of it (at least in the US. Germany and Australia were much more on the ball, I hear). When my own son was diagnosed neither the school psychologist nor our family practice doctor had ever heard of it. Neither had anyone in our neighborhood, school, or church. Autism was just so much, much easier.

[Verity]

:iagree:

[Niffercoo]

Aspergers is one of the Pervasive Developmental Disorders (PDDs). The term will likely be changed in the next DSM to Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASDs).

 

The core deficits for ASDs are the same. Some kids are more affected by some of their deficits. The diagnoses may make some parents feel better, or may make the schools give fewer/more services, but basically a child with Aspergers, Autism, PDD-NOS is autistic/has autism.

 

My son has a diagnosis of Aspergers and my daughter has a diagnosis of PDD-NOS (Pervasive Developmental Disorder - Not Otherwise Specified). At the time she was diagnosed, she wasn't severe enough to meet the criteria for classic autism, but she had significant language delays which rule out an Asperger's diagnosis. Both of them are autistic. Most of the time, other people can't tell (especially with my son).

 

And like the other poster said, it's easier to say autism. I try to use Autism Spectrum Disorder specifically because it's more accurate.

 

This is what Dr. Stephen Gutstein, developer of the RDI program for autism remediation (the program I use with my children), explains it in the preface to his new The RDI Book:

 

"I intend to follow the current custom of including Autism, Asperger's Disorder and Pervasive Developmental Disorders under the single Autism Spectrum Disorders label. Research has concluded that there is little if any reason to continue making these diagnostic distinctions and these groups are typically placed together in modern studies of the condition." (p. i)

[Misty]

I do not tell people that my children have autism. I think it paints a wrong picture. "High-functioning autism" seems more acceptable. I sometimes tell people that my more severe Aspie daughter has high-functioning autism, but I almost never mention that my other two have Asperger diagnoses because they are so high-functioning that no one would notice. And I do not tell people that my severe Aspie just has autism. It is just like high-functioning autism, but not exactly like it. With Asperger's there is usually no speech delay. With high-functioning autism, there is speech delay. With Asperger's, the child usually wants friends, but is socially clueless. With HFA, the child usually does not care much about socializing or having friends. Of course there are always exceptions in some cases.

 

That said, it's important to note that Asperger's is nearly an invisible disbability to those who do not live with the Aspie. So even though you don't notice much about him, I GUARANTEE that he has some autistic-like behaviors at home that his mother and father notice on a regular basis.

 

But for me, when my children are not being noticeably awkward or "autistic", then I don't mention their diagnoses. And if I do, then I say Asperger's or high-functioning autism. I usually say HFA when it's someone that may not have ever heard of Asperger's. When I'm talking to other homeschooling mothers or other people that I know have probably encountered someone with Asperger's or know what it is, then I say Asperger's. It's certainly easier to just say "autism", but I do not think it is accurate.

Edited July 26, 2009 by Misty

[Orthodox6]

I refuse to describe my Asperger's son as autistic. Good grief ! If any of you have been reading my posts this year, would you call me "autistic" ? You ought to, because the family and I believe that I am a never-diagnosed Asperger's person.

 

Only within the confines of a special needs group or special needs message board do I occasionally use the word "autism" in connection with Asperger's. Just this year, a Ph.D. psychologist asserted to me her belief that Asperger's should be removed from the "autism spectrum" and reclassified officially on the "anxiety spectrum." I agree with her.

 

"Jane Q. Public" understands autism to describe individuals at the far opposite end of the spectrum from Asperger's individuals. Hence I will not use the term "autism" interchangeably with "Asperger's".

[MamaSheep]

I refuse to describe my Asperger's son as autistic. Good grief ! If any of you have been reading my posts this year, would you call me "autistic" ? You ought to, because the family and I believe that I am a never-diagnosed Asperger's person.

 

Only within the confines of a special needs group or special needs message board do I occasionally use the word "autism" in connection with Asperger's. Just this year, a Ph.D. psychologist asserted to me her belief that Asperger's should be removed from the "autism spectrum" and reclassified officially on the "anxiety spectrum." I agree with her.

 

"Jane Q. Public" understands autism to describe individuals at the far opposite end of the spectrum from Asperger's individuals. Hence I will not use the term "autism" interchangeably with "Asperger's".

 

I do understand your point, and I definitely don't want to start an argument or anything, but I would like my position to be more fully expressed, even though I'm fairly certain you and I will just have to agree to disagree. So I truly hope you'll take these comments only as an expression of another point of view, as they are intended, and not as any kind of unfriendly attack, which is certainly not how I intend them.

 

I agree with you that "Jane Q. Public" often tends to have a certain stereotype associated with the words autism and autistic. For many people, "autistic" means a mentally retarded person with crazy, nonsensical behaviors, and probably some kind of "magical" savant ability. However, it is an incorrect stereotype. Most don't have savant abilities at all, though such abilities are evidently more common among the autistic population than the general population. Some autistic people are mentally challenged, but many are of average or above average intelligence. That includes, as research is proving more and more all the time, people who have been classified as "low functioning" on the autism spectrum. Quite a number of people who have been classified as "low functioning" because they were unable to learn to communicate verbally have later learned to communicate through electronic means and have proven to be quite erudite. Additionally, as more is understood about autistic neurological structure and function, their "nonsensical" behaviors begin to make a great deal of sense, in the context of their experience of the world around them.

 

Thus, the truth is that autism does occur as a spectrum of impairments, and not as a single, stereotypical "handicap". Autism incorporates a wide variety of people with different personalities, different abilities, different preferences, and different challenges and levels of "function". Since this is the case, it seems a better course of action, to me, to educate "Jane Q. Public" to have a more accurate understanding of what autism IS, rather than to redefine autistic people to better match up with the existing stereotype, which isn't particularly accurate or useful for anyone. One of the best ways for this to happen is for "Jane" to have personal experiences and discussions with people who ARE autistic, but who don't fit "her" stereotype. When I say my Aspie son is "autistic" and people say to me, "he doesn't seem autistic" then I can say, "well this is what many autistic people are really like; autism exists as a spectrum and people are affected at different levels and in different ways". They almost always go away with a broadened understanding, more compassion, and less aptitude to jump to conclusions about "autistic" people the next time around. To me, this is a very positive thing.

 

You asked, " If any of you have been reading my posts this year, would you call me "autistic" ?" A person who holds the outdated, inaccurate stereotype might answer, "No, of course not! You're obviously very bright and articulate!" A person who is familiar with the REALITY of autism would probably answer, "I have no way of knowing whether you are autistic merely from interacting with you here on a digital forum."

 

Regarding reclassifying Asperger's Syndrome as an anxiety disorder I could not disagree more fervently. My particular Aspie child does also have a diagnosed anxiety disorder (GAD). Having read a good bit about both AS and GAD (and anxiety disorders in general) I can see that there are some areas of apparent overlap between the two. For example, people with an anxiety disorder, especially a social anxiety disorder, may exhibit social skills deficits, and may have panic attacks in public places. However, when a person with SAD undergoes therapy for her anxiety disorder she generally is able to overcome the panic attacks. Once this is accomplished, her social skills deficits often resolve on their own or with minimal coaching because she CAN learn them intuitively like most other people, she just had not previously done so due to her extreme anxiety in social situations.

 

A person with AS may also overcome the panic attacks through similar therapy (especially if it was a matter of comorbid SAD that was causing the attacks). However, the person may still have breakdowns in crowded places due to sensory issues not related to the social anxiety. Additionally, once the anxiety is overcome, the person with AS will not intuitively improve social skills, but will continue to flounder socially until the social skills are explicitly taught and learned by rote--and even then they will not be completely "natural". This is because the deficits are not a result of the anxiety, but of other neurological issues that are present.

 

Having had real-life experience with both AS and GAD in my son, and with a variety of both autism and anxiety disorders in others with whom I have become acquainted since my son's diagnoses, I am more than thoroughly convinced that there are also some very vital and definitive differences between them, and that Asperger's fits much more logically on the autism spectrum than in the realm of anxiety. People with Asperger's do often experience anxiety--which makes a great deal of sense when you take into consideration their differing sensory experience of the world and difficulty "translating" social cues.

 

I respect your point of view on these issues, but I cannot agree with you. I hope, though, that we can still be friends.

[Dobela]

I do use the terms more interchangeably than others. My brother was first diagnosed with Aspergers. Then a different psychologist said it was really autism using the same background information and criteria.

[Niffercoo]

[quote=Orthodox6;1096228

 

"Jane Q. Public" understands autism to describe individuals at the far opposite end of the spectrum from Asperger's individuals. Hence I will not use the term "autism" interchangeably with "Asperger's".

 

I think this is exactly why we need to use the correct term of autism spectrum disorders when we are talking about Autism or Aspergers. When my daughter was diagnosed with ASD, I was in denial for quite some time because all I knew of "autism" was Rainman. She didn't rock back and forth. She didn't count toothpicks when they hit the floor. She loved to be held.

 

Each person who comes into contact with my children and learns they have autism (though it's not something we just announce at random) will learn a little more about the disorder and how it might look. I want to break down those stereotypes. I think it's good for the autistic individual in society. And I also hope that maybe some other parent won't be so puzzled by their young child's behavior and wait as long as I did to seek help! My son was 10 before he was diagnosed, and that was only because his sister was diagnosed 8 months earlier (when she was 3.5 and I'd been questioning her behavior since she was 18 months or so... though she'd shared her brother's temperament since birth).

 

But that's just how our family approaches it! :)

[Orthodox6]

Dear Amy,

 

I do not feel ANY discomfort with your post. Not one bit ! I'm totally at ease with you evaluating Asperger's differently than I do. If you would allow me the tired-out comparison (because it is used so often, for varying purposes), I would invoke the "Blind Men and the Elephant" comparison for Asperger's. You and I respond to different sections of "the Elephant" with our observations and our resultant conclusions.

 

Although I respond differently than you do, I don't see that as a problem. You [probably] won't be agreeing with this viewpoint, but I honest believe that you are right, and I am right. Simultaneously. The possible treatments and therapies for Asperger's are the same. Interventions will be the same, no matter which "spectrum" is selected as the affiliate.

 

Most amicably,

 

Antonia

 

P.S. I also agree about trying to educate those with whom I come in contact. It is best to try that (when the auditor is paying attention and cares to learn, which very often is not the case). I admit to being perpetually tired from fending off people who attack my well-researched and well-thought through decisions to allow psychiatric meds for my three children who each have multiple situations. My "public education" efforts have been focused on that. (and it is truly a thankless task)

Edited July 26, 2009 by Orthodox6

[MamaSheep]

Dear Amy,

 

I do not feel ANY discomfort with your post. Not one bit ! I'm totally at ease with you evaluating Asperger's differently than I do. If you would allow me the tired-out comparison (because it is used so often, for varying purposes), I would invoke the "Blind Men and the Elephant" comparison for Asperger's. You and I respond to different sections of "the Elephant" with our observations and our resultant conclusions.

 

Although I respond differently than you do, I don't see that as a problem. You [probably] won't be agreeing with this viewpoint, but I honest believe that you are right, and I am right. Simultaneously. The possible treatments and therapies for Asperger's are the same. Interventions will be the same, no matter which "spectrum" is selected as the affiliate.

 

Most amicably,

 

Antonia

 

I'm so relieved you feel that way! I know these things can be sensitive issues and discussions about them can sometimes degenerate fast and I really didn't want that to happen.

 

Something else did occur to me on the reclassification front, which is that schools provide services to kids who are classified as autistic that they do not provide to kids who are classified as having an anxiety disorder. Since a lot of families can't afford much in the way of therapies outside what the schools provide it seems to me that from a practical standpoint, as far as getting the kids the appropriate interventions, it seems better to leave it under the autism umbrella. But I totally recognize that this is a glaringly non-scientific consideration.

 

It may well be an "elephant" kind of issue. I just can't see Asperger's as an "anxiety disorder" (even though it definitely incorporates a high level of anxiety for most Aspies) any more than I can see classifying it as an obsessive disorder, a sensory disorder, a cognitive disorder, a communication disorder, a social disorder, or a learning disorder, even though all of those things are so often present in people with AS as well. It just doesn't seem right to reclassify it based on a single characteristic "part" when the people who experience it are truly dealing with a "whole animal" that includes so many other aspects.

 

Regardless of how it's classified, though, you're right that the interventions remain the same--though even those are prime fodder for emotional debates that I want to avoid here.

 

Probably the one thing we can all agree on is that it will be interesting to watch the progress that develops in the field as additional research is done. And also that people with AS are fascinating individuals, regardless of the classification of their "disorder".

 

Thank you for your willingness to have a friendly conversation instead of an ugly confrontation. I feel so much better now, I was worried I'd said too much. :)

[8filltheheart]

 

Regarding reclassifying Asperger's Syndrome as an anxiety disorder I could not disagree more fervently. My particular Aspie child does also have a diagnosed anxiety disorder (GAD). Having read a good bit about both AS and GAD (and anxiety disorders in general) I can see that there are some areas of apparent overlap between the two. For example, people with an anxiety disorder, especially a social anxiety disorder, may exhibit social skills deficits, and may have panic attacks in public places. However, when a person with SAD undergoes therapy for her anxiety disorder she generally is able to overcome the panic attacks. Once this is accomplished, her social skills deficits often resolve on their own or with minimal coaching because she CAN learn them intuitively like most other people, she just had not previously done so due to her extreme anxiety in social situations.

 

A person with AS may also overcome the panic attacks through similar therapy (especially if it was a matter of comorbid SAD that was causing the attacks). However, the person may still have breakdowns in crowded places due to sensory issues not related to the social anxiety. Additionally, once the anxiety is overcome, the person with AS will not intuitively improve social skills, but will continue to flounder socially until the social skills are explicitly taught and learned by rote--and even then they will not be completely "natural". This is because the deficits are not a result of the anxiety, but of other neurological issues that are present.

 

Having had real-life experience with both AS and GAD in my son, and with a variety of both autism and anxiety disorders in others with whom I have become acquainted since my son's diagnoses, I am more than thoroughly convinced that there are also some very vital and definitive differences between them, and that Asperger's fits much more logically on the autism spectrum than in the realm of anxiety. People with Asperger's do often experience anxiety--which makes a great deal of sense when you take into consideration their differing sensory experience of the world and difficulty "translating" social cues.

 

 

 

:iagree: It took forever for us to get an accurate diagnosis for our ds. He was labeled high anxiety (among an alphabet soup of other labels) for several yrs, but CBT, anxiety meds, and general therapy did absolutely nothing in addressing the real issues with our ds.

 

When he was finally diagnosed, the diagnosis was Aspergers. The dr was quite frank in stating that all mental health issues are gray and there is no such thing as a black and white diagnosis which is why there are often "mislabels."

 

To give just a few of the main differences between anxiety and the Asperger type behaviors our ds exhibits......

 

*the inability to understand social cues

 

*the inability to respect personal space

 

*inappropriate age related behaviors (our ds's disability becomes more pronounced as he becomes older b/c behaviors that before were dismissed as immaturity,etc are extreme in someone just a few months from adulthood)

 

*unable to discern reality from his pre-conceived perceptions (can't tell when people are mocking him vs. extending friendship)

 

*cannot understand that certain subject matters are inappropriate for discussion at certain times

 

 

The list goes on.

 

As far as whether or not I tell people autism vs. Aspergers......I typically say Aspergers but if I am given a blank stare I will qualify it as "high functioning autism" b/c it gives some form of reference for people who have never heard of Aspergers before.

[Laurie4b]

My ds is 12 and was diagnosed at age 5. At home he's very "normal", though some of his more autistic traits do tend to come out more when he's in an unfamiliar setting, around strangers, or the focus of everyone's attention--and therefore nervous and stressed. I suspect that by the time he's in his late teens he'll mostly just be "quirky" but very functional. Especially with all the things he's overcome or learned to manage already.

 

But I do the same thing your friend does most of the time and just call it "autism". The two terms, Asperger's Syndrome and Autism are not really interchangeable, but it's in the same way that square and rectangle are not really interchangeable--all kids with Asperger's have an autism spectrum disorder, but not all kids with an autism disorder have Asperger's. If that makes sense. There are other kinds of disorders that are also referred to as autism spectrum disorder. They're currently understood to exist kind of along a continuum from more severe to less severe, with the "high" end of the spectrum sort of petering off vaguely into normalcy. But it's all considered part of the same continuum, or spectrum, which is usually called "autism" in "official" settings like schools, insurance companies, and governmental institutions.

 

There are a number of unresolved arguments, scientifically speaking, as to whether AS is a less severe form of what we classically understand to be autism, or whether it's its own, separate disorder. But the difference between the two is more often in the degree of impairment than it is in the type.

 

Like your friend, I most often just say my son is autistic, meaning that he falls under that general "umbrella", rather than getting down to brass tacks and talking actual diagnosis labels. There are two main reasons I do this. One is that people who are filling out paperwork mostly want to know what category they're dealing with. The other is that many more people have at least HEARD of autism than have heard of Asperger's. People who have heard of autism generally have some sense of sympathy (or at least fear...lol) and are willing to make allowances for people who struggle in those ways. So if I say "he's autistic" it usually gets the job done quickly and efficiently. Most people just want to know there's something unusual going on there and what they are expected to do about it, they don't really want to know the details. So I can say, "I'm sorry, he's autistic, it's nothing personal just give him a little space to calm down," (or whatever) and it's taken care of. They understand that he's not normal (whatever that means in their head) and they know what to do to resolve the situation (because I just told them). If I say, "He needs space, he has Asperger's," they say, "What's Asperger's and why would someone with it need space?" and instead of getting on with whatever we're doing I wind up trying to explain about there being a spectrum of autism disorders etc. and how he fits and what specific problems he has and why. Now, I am perfectly comfortable talking all that over with people who are regular parts of our lives, from relatives and friends to interested neighbors, to church teachers and scout leaders and whatnot. But the people we just encounter in passing, like the store clerk or zoo tour guide or the next passenger over on the airplane don't need to know, and usually don't really WANT to know. And in those kinds of settings we all have things we want to get done that don't involve extensive autism education.

 

In other words, it mostly boils down to "it's just easier". Long explanations are great when you have time and people really want to know, but otherwise you just use the shorthand to keep things moving. Nowadays many, many more people have heard of Asperger's and will know what you mean if you use the term, but back when your friend's son was diagnosed almost nobody had heard of it (at least in the US. Germany and Australia were much more on the ball, I hear). When my own son was diagnosed neither the school psychologist nor our family practice doctor had ever heard of it. Neither had anyone in our neighborhood, school, or church. Autism was just so much, much easier.

 

well, she used to say Asperger's, but she now says autism--this is with people she knows well and who understand.

[MamaSheep]

well, she used to say Asperger's, but she now says autism--this is with people she knows well and who understand.

 

Different people do have different reasons. I can only tell you mine. But I would guess that if she's your friend she wouldn't be offended if you just asked her.

[SheilaZ]

I have two sons with Asperger's. I do not say that they have autism because they don't. If the person does not know what Asperger's is, I tell them that it is on the Autism Spectrum.

Then the person will say, "They don't seem autsitic." To which I have to reply, "They're not. They have Asperger's syndrome."

 

Becasue the boys are so well adapted, I want to let the public know that the they have AS. That way, if they ever have a familiy member down the road become Diagnosed with AS, they'll think of my sons instead of some horrible sterotype.

[hsmamainva]

When our oldest son was diagnosed, the psychologist explained it this way:

 

The difference between a diagnosis of Asperger's Syndrome vs high functioning autism is in the area of language development. If they have language delays, then they're diagnosed as having high functioning autism. If they don't have language delays, they're diagnosed with Asperger's because individuals with Asperger's are typically very verbal.

[SheilaZ]

When our oldest son was diagnosed, the psychologist explained it this way:

 

The difference between a diagnosis of Asperger's Syndrome vs high functioning autism is in the area of language development. If they have language delays, then they're diagnosed as having high functioning autism. If they don't have language delays, they're diagnosed with Asperger's because individuals with Asperger's are typically very verbal.

 

I think the issue is with receptive language.

I have two with textbook examples of Asperger's that also have speech issues and one had significant delays due to Apraxia. However, his receptive language was always way above age level even when his expressive language was untestable.

So just having a language delay does not always mean autism vs Asperger's.

 

BTW, my sons are quite verbal. Even when my apraxic son could not form words, he communicated. We all learned to "Speak Andrew" and he made his needs understood.

Now he won't shut up. He talks, and talks, and talks......

[EKS]

When our oldest son was diagnosed, the psychologist explained it this way:

 

The difference between a diagnosis of Asperger's Syndrome vs high functioning autism is in the area of language development. If they have language delays, then they're diagnosed as having high functioning autism. If they don't have language delays, they're diagnosed with Asperger's because individuals with Asperger's are typically very verbal.

 

You know what I've always found to be weird? What constitutes a language delay? I mean, I know there's an official thing, but I believe that my older son was delayed, but according to the charts he was on the late side of normal. His younger brother said his first word at 10 months and was using long complex sentences by 18 months. My older boy didn't speak like that until he was 4 at the earliest. It seems like they should look at the language development of other family members to determine whether there is a delay.