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Mothers of more than one boy..


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Have any of your younger boys outgrown an older one, and did this cause any conflict? I hadn't really noticed, but my mom was commenting that my two boys (11 and 7) are almost the same height. My oldest takes after his father's family in looks/physique and most of them are comparatively small (at 5'6" I am taller than my fil, although shorter than my dh).

 

My mom was concerned that there would be some friction between the boys; my oldest has mentioned once "How come he's so tall" about his younger brother, but in general it doesn't seem to bother him. But maybe it will bother him if/when his little brother passes him height-wise...

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I have two boys ages 11 (almost 12) and 10. The younger has been taller than the older since they were 3 and 2- usually by two inches. The younger one is also developing faster (looses teeth first, shows signs of puberty). He takes after my husbands side of the family and has a large bone structure and will probably be about 6'. I'll be happy if my older son ends up at 5' 8". Quite honestly, I don't think my older guy is phased by it. It's always been a given to him that he would be the shorter one.

 

Juls

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Guest Virginia Dawn

4 boys here. The 15yo is taller than the 18yo, the 5yo will obviously be larger than the 10yo in a couple of years. IME height does not cause conflict problems. Personality and age differences do. Right now the 5yo and 10yo are driving me crazy with their petty bickering. The 10yo is becoming more serious and less play oriented and the 5yo wants him to play. I feel sorry for both of them because I can relate.

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My boys, 3 and almost 5, are the same height but they are too young for it to bother them. However, it does affect the way people perceive the 3yo. Since he is so tall, they expect him to be on the same developmental level as his brother but he's almost 2 years younger.

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I have 4 boys. DS # 2 is 13 and weighs about 94 lbs. He is 5 ft 1. Ds #3 is 11 and is 5 ft 8, weighs 180 lbs, and wearing a size 15 shoe. DS # 4 is 10 and about 75lbs soaking wet and can share clothes (mostly shirts) with DS #2. DS #2 says that the size difference really doesn't bother him unless they are playing football or basketball. People always assume DS# 3 is the oldest and some times get them confused for that reason. DS# 3 will sometimes give his brother piggyback rides and I have to yell to put his big brother down. We have also had fun at buffets trying to convince them the child is only 11. Ds 2 and 4 both have slender bulids, but DS 3 is built like a tank.

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My 2 oldest have always been about the same size giving a few inches here and there through the years. Right now they are 16 and 14 are the same size. My 9 years old is a solid kid I think he'll be bigger than his brothers eventually.

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We are smack in the middle of this. My younger (by only 21 months) ds is a big guy and will obviously end up well over 6 foot like my dad and brother. Older ds is shaped like his dad and probably won't quite reach 6 foot. They are competitive in EVERYTHING and oldest is not the most confident kid on the block, so this causes some problems. I have noticed lately that when someone comments on the closeness in height, youngest is bound to get whaled on in the next hour or so. Oldest is almost 13 and the whole family is waiting with bated breath for a growth spurt. If he could just be the obvious tallest for a while, I think things would ease up a bit!

 

Growing up I had the same situation with my sister - she was taller and bigger than me from about 10 and 12 yo and up. Of course, being girls, it didn't bother me, but it was not fun for her. No girl wants to be big!

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No...my kids are actually the opposite. The older is REALLY tall for his age and the younger is REALLY short for his age. They have different dads and the dads are very different in height. My older son's grandpa is 6'7" tall...my younger son's dad (my dh) is 5'11". :)

 

However, we go to church with a family that has this situation in their daughters. People refer to them as "the twins" when really the older is about 3 YEARS older. Even so, she is a head shorter than her sister...same mom and dad too.

 

Also, my mom dated a man when I was younger who is lucky to be 5'5" (I am taller than him as an adult). His YOUNGER brother is 6'9". LOL So...it happens.

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...My mom was concerned that there would be some friction between the boys...
IMO, your Mom is right. Not because your younger son is as tall as your older, but rather simply because they are both boys. ;)

 

My brother is four years older than me and has *always* been much larger. That didn't keep us from fighting constantly! (That's quite surprising, given what a sweet, adorable baby brother I always was! :D)

 

We've always noticed that our kids have paired up to have a sparring partner: DS19|DD16, DS11|DS9, DD7|DS7. We were quite concerned about this when we had number 7, DS4. Fortunately, he manages to find a partner in battle on a regular basis! :D

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So far, youngest ds just about catches up to middle ds in height, and then middle ds hits a growth spurt to jump ahead. I have been telling them for years that when they're all done growing, I fully expect youngest ds to be the tallest of the three. I don't expect it to be a problem.

 

At an even 6 feet tall, I am now the second-shortest person in this home. Dh stands about 5'9", almost 14yo is about 6'1/2", 15yo ds about 6'1", and 19yo ds about 6'2".

 

FWIW, I am 15 months younger than my sister and have been taller than her since we were both toddlers. It was never an issue as far as I know.

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IMO, your Mom is right. Not because your younger son is as tall as your older, but rather simply because they are both boys. ;)

 

:iagree: (and it helps that they are siblings)

 

DS2 (14) outgrew DS1 (17) this past year.

 

DS3, who is only 7, has a very high likelihood of surpassing them both before he's 14. Course, they'll be out of the house by then, one hopes. . .

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This was the situation in my dh's family. My dh is 3 years younger than his brother, and they were the same height growing up. When my dh hit his growth spurt, he shot up and is now probably seven inches taller than his brother.

 

It did cause a lot of tension with them, but you know what? I think there would have been tension regardless. The height thing was just the thing that they happened to land on. And I don't think it was the height per se, but fights over whose shirt was whose, etc., since they wore the same size. FWIW, they're good friends, now.

 

I know a man in his fifties whose younger sister was always taller than he was and he's one of the most well-adjusted people I know.

 

I know another family where the younger brother is quite a bit bigger than the older brother. The parents have done a good job focusing on each boys' strenths: G is faster, but C is stronger, etc. This could easily backfire, too, but the parents have done it in such a way that they celebrate what each boy is good at, instead of turning everything into a comparison or competition.

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Oh yeah. My oldest son is 23 and is only 5'7" while my second son is 21 and 5'9". My third son who is 15 has passed them both at 5'11". It hasn't caused any conflict around here. They joke about it.

 

I'm not sure how tall boy #4 is going to be, but guessing I would say about like my 21 yo.

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My big boys are 2.5 years apart and like others here I was often asked if they were twins. However, even though my oldest is now an inch or so shorter than his little brother, my oldest is broad-shouldered and barrel-chested whereas my middle ds is so slight that he disappears when he turns sideways. So, since the 18yo has a good 50lbs on the 15yo, no one mistakes the 15yo for the older brother.

 

They have always known that middle ds would be taller, but really it's like saying who is the tallest in the land of short people- both their grandmothers are barely 5' tall and their paternal grandfather is only 5'3". At 5'6.5" my oldest is actually a giant who is taller than his dad, grandad, and cousin.:lol:

 

I agree- any friction between my two big boys has been due to the fact that they are male siblings and not due to height.

 

HTH-

Mandy

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