It's cool, PariSarah, its all good. Don't mind me either. Different people have different experiences is all.

Forgive me if I'm misreading this, but why are you being condescending to me? I know who I am pretty well, my "reading" of myself is probably pretty accurate. Certainly more accurate then a stranger's would be. ETA: and I did re-read it, several times.

With all due respect I've seen the opposite. I've seen myself be mean to people and kick my own dog and break windows because I was very angry and didn't get it out, so I kept feeling mean and hateful. This was when I was young, I don't take it out on others now. One of the main reasons I don't is because I let it out in a way that is appropriate for me. When I'm done being angry which isn't very long, then I can deal with whatever made me mad in a reasonable way, and if there's an injustice to deal with you can bet I'm addressing it, but in a thoughtful way instead of a reactionary way. Just my experience. And maybe my kids won't need to be like that, my DH doesn't, but if they do, then I want them to figure out what works for them and what doesn't violate others' rights. Perhaps it boils down to a matter of temperament. Oh, and we deal with the situation that causes the feelings, thats the discussion part, but its best to do when people are calm.

I don't whether to answer this yes or no. I had one relationship in my life where we were so intune with each other that I heard his thoughts pretty regularly. And vice versa. I could tell where his mind was at any given moment. We could communicate volumes without saying a word to each other. I felt like he was my soul mate at the time. Unfortunately it didn't work out, due to things beyond our control. I don't really think there's only one person who's meant for you, but I think there are some people who are more on your vibration then others?? Does that make sense?

Ohh I like that stomping on tape idea, thats pretty symbolic and, unlike just running around, it would seem to deal directly with the situation. Dh and I are prepared to coach through this one, its one of the more important life lessons we've had to deal with so far: how to deal with your anger. We've been discussing this for the past few eves, and I think now we're ready to talk to the kids.

Oh you're right about that one Sue, we have air but it doesn't come on til mid-July at earliest, August if we can make it. And being hot does make for temper flares. Its an ongoing process, isn't it? I'll look into that book you mentioned Pamela H, thanks for the rec. I'll also give some thought to helping them head off trouble, thats a good idea.

Its ok, I shouldn't have reacted so impatiently, I apologize for that. From you and others I've got some things to go with here, I especially like the jumping rope, nail hammering and just plain running around the house, while yelling if thats what it takes! My ds7 draws daily anyway, I wouldn't be surprised if we end up with some "crazy" pictures too. Anyway, thank you for your suggestions, not just for the ideas but just to get an idea of what others consider acceptable. Big help.

THAT IS WHY I WANT THEM TO HAVE OTHER OUTLETS OF ANGER BESIDES OTHER PEOPLE. They are not allowed to throw things, slam doors, call names or be abusive in any way, they have never seen me display anger. But anger that stays inside becomes misdirected anger that comes out later. I want them to punch a pillow instead of pinch their brother. They're young, we work on things as we go, they're not all of a sudden going to be mature enough to walk away, this is something we have been and will continue to work on, probably for quite some time. If they need to get anger out, then I want them to. Thanks for your thoughts, but anger misdirected or saved until later is more harmful then scribbling on a piece of paper instead of hitting someone. This is just one facet of how we are dealing with the hitting, we already have decided how to deal with other parts of it, including apologies, discussion, making up, possible consequences, thinking before you act, appropriate verbal expressions of feelings, personal spaces and violations thereof, etc etc etc etc ad naseum. I just wanted ideas for physical outlets of anger that harm no one.

My kids have gotten rather bad lately about taking their anger out on each other. Whether they are mad at that person or that person just happens to be nearby, they're hitting and pinching each other. Dh and I have been discussing it, and we've decided how to deal with it in every way except we're trying to decide what we are and are not going to allow in terms of what IS an acceptable way to display anger. So I'm wondering what you all think. What actions are acceptable in your house as an outlet for anger? What is not acceptable? We're not going to take away the freedom to physically express anger, thats mostly my thought. I have to be physically mad, and stomp and just BE MAD before I can take a calm look at a situation and decide what to do next. Otherwise I just seethe and stay mad and resent and go nowhere. Luckily I hardly ever get mad. Dh doesn't have this need, he can be mad and it doesn't come out. Maybe he's more mature than I am. :001_smile: Anyway, the only thing we've decided on for sure is that paper and pen is an acceptable way to get things out. We've also decided that anything tantrum-like is not acceptable such as throwing things and slamming doors. I'm on the fence about stomping. What about hitting a pillow? I don't know, I just want to see how others do it. I'd like to have several avenues to offer them in lieu of beating each other up.

I am so so happy for you!! You took steps, you were proactive, and so ADULT about it! :) Good for you. And good for him for stopping the card/gift thing, thats a pretty impressive gesture. I hope he can shake her off easily enough. You just keep doing what you started and be a presence at his work. I'm really happy for you guys.

Yeah, awful stuff.

Ahhh I love that book! I read all of Marguerite Henry's horse books. My parents took my sister and I to see a Royal Lipizzan show in 1981. I still to this day have the program for the show. It was cool.

Sometimes when you buy a betta from a pet store, they are actually older fish that have been retired from breeding stock. Is the fish relatively large for a betta or can you tell? Lots of bettas (and I've had many) spit their food out before they eat it, I don't think its abnormal. Bettas do have a reputation for sitting on the bottom of their tank and thus being pretty but dull. :) I haven't found this to be true though, I think they move around a lot. And if there is something wrong with the fish, there probably isn't much you can do about it anyway. Sometimes if the fish is sick you can tell by its appearance, its scales etc. But if you don't see physical abnormalities, I don't know what you could do anyway. How often does she change the water? What size tank is it in? What do you use for substrate?

Thats how I feel about it.

JIP, I'm actually very glad to read that some middle east nations are stepping up to the plate and dealing with some of the problems in that area. I like that they are showing independence, even if they didn't want to. Right now, US involvement over there may actually even be detrimental because we don't seem to be willing to help them find peace unless they meet some of our priorities in doing so (ie sinora).

I'm not asking any president to begin negotiating with terrorists. As sad as it is, not negotiating with them has to be the policy, even if it means the hostages will die. There really isn't any other way to do it. Like a kid throwing temper tantrums, if he finds out it works he keeps doing it. If terrorists find out their demands are met, they will keep taking hostages. Refusing to communicate with terrorists is a foolish idea, it means the status quo will continue. They will continue to feel justified. As for the difference between a national enemy as you describe it (and isn't it sad that there is such a thing?) and a terrorist organization, the difference is negligible when it comes to dealing with them. Aren't we supposed to be fighting terrorists in Iraq? Thats not a nation's army we're fighting, we're fighting terrorists. Looks like any other war doesn't it? Killing people to stop people from killing looks the same no matter how you do it.

I see red flags, hopefully not with your dh, but definitely with the girl who doesn't understand that you don't flirt with married guys.

I'm kinda agreeing with karen with this one. If they were that serious, I would think he kind of owed it to her to do it in person, even if it meant waiting or making big arrangements.

We memorized the Greek alphabet, that was a suggestion from Plaid Dad. Someone also suggested the Delphic Oracles, I thought that was a good one too. Or do you mean facts to memorize about ancient Greece?

:party:

YAY Astrid, no neg rep for you either??? It IS a banner day!! (I'd dearly love to know what those ladies had to say too......)

I visit the astronomy pic of the day too, i have a link to it from my blog. Cool! :coolgleamA:

And I completely agree with JIP up there too, when govt gets its bumbling hands on things...it never goes well it seems. And I'll also agree with Astrid agreeing with everything JIP said. Cuz really some of the stuff I've seen come out of independent entrepeneurs is enough to inspire hope that we aren't going to pollute ourselves out of existence.

The thing is, terrorists organizations have "legitimacy" whether we recognize it or not. They are the gov't in some countries. And more to the point, they are "legitimate" enough that they kill innocent people daily. It has currency and strength already, putting our fingers in our ears and humming is not going to make it go away. Communication and education have a better chance of resolving violence. As for the distinction between enemy and terrorist, does it really matter? Each side will kill for its own gains, whatever they may be, just because the army isn't affiliated with a particular government doesn't mean its bullets are less deadly.

If you get a lot of stuff on igoogle, it lags, may not be the best choice for dial up.