Hahahahaha! :)

Definitely know your purpose. If you're advertising, I agree a website is the most professional way to advertise, and if you're ready to have people contact you regarding gigs, I think that is fine. If you're not, then wait, but grab the URL now as another poster suggested. Facebook is for discussions. I could see using it for announcements only of upcoming shows, but is that really useful? Does she have a fan club? Do you want her to have one? I personally would not do a Facebook page. If your child wants to influence other people, then you have to figure out which media site, and whether you're comfortable with it. I totally agree with dmmetler and EndofOrdinary about monitoring it when a name or persona is attached. I can also see saying "No way. This is too much too early." My biggest concern is that teenagers say things that are not the things we as adults might say, and I don't want my kid's 12 year old self ruining his 25 year old self's reputation because the stuff remains on the internet for DECADES. In fact, articles and letters I wrote to newspapers and things I said to reporters are currently online even though web pages were in their infancy at the time--part of my 20 year old self is out there for anyone wanting to see who I am when I apply for a job at age 50. Think about that! If it's completely anonymous, then it's a question of how much you trust their judgement, but that doesn't sound like it's what she wants.

Out of curiosity, what schools do people think are good for gifted kids in Boston/the GBA?

Organizing tasks and task completion are simply not things I'm good at. If she is distressed about not finishing and you can figure out how to help her finish to the end of projects now, I think it'll be helpful to her in the long run. I'm not sure the solution (I certainly don't have it solved), but I think it's a problem that you're right to be concerned about. What comes to mind are: 1. Self-limit to 5 projects at a time. Either finish a project or cancel it to start a new one. 2. List the next couple of tasks to complete a project. Now, does she want to complete it or not? If so, put the tasks on a schedule. If not, why not? (Is it too hard, too boring, too expensive, does she needs you to help with?) 3. If perfectionism is the issue, remind her that a project is also about the process, not just the end-product. If she doesn't like how it turned out this time, she can try again. But either way, she's *learned* something that will make every other project better, and that's a great thing.

This sounds like me. Lots of plans, no finishing. I am *still* that way, and it is very discouraging and demoralizing. I feel bad about the projects I've left undone over the years as well. For me now, it's more a lack of time with kids, but I've bought a lot of stuff to do around the house and never done it. It creates unnecessary clutter and is money wasted. Prevents me from feeling like I can handle going back to work now--ie, take on a new project because of all the loose ends. I don't think she has to finish everything--10 to 15 chapters in a course and then losing interest--maybe the course isn't that good. And I get that crocheting can take a long time and be boring, and honestly, doing the scarf was more useful anyways--I would let that stay a scarf but encourage her to put the strings on the end to really finish it as a scarf. But I would definitely encourage her to complete tasks. The puzzle sounds like a no-brainer. In the long run, when you get a job, the hardest and longest part is the last 10% where you have to make sure that all the details have been worked out. She's got to learn to push through on that 10%. I've heard people say "life is boring, deal with it"--generally it's used as an excuse to let a kid be bored at school--but in this situation, I think it applies. PS: To be clear, there are times when abandoning something is the right thing to do. That is generally a decision you make when doing product development. There are times that you should abandon the product because it will never be profitable. But I don't think that is something she needs to worry about here. But you may come across a project that will never actually work, and it's ok to admit that and stop.

Tell her that that was her friends way of saying they'll miss her. (Unless you think it's patently untrue.)

I think it's all important--job, house, climate, school, happiness. We are staying where we are to keep a kid in his school despite a horrid housing market. If it weren't for #1's school, I'd have left last year. Would I move for a school for him? If I was certain that employment and housing would work out, yes, but only if it would significantly improve happiness. I think what I wouldn't do is move somewhere that you're at risk for DH being out of a job or having financial difficulties. Because that is the highest priority. I get the humidity issue--use a humidifier in the house. Eventually he'll get used to it, but it does take time. I had the opposite problem--moved from a desert to a city off the water and felt like I was going to suffocate when it was humid out. But I got used to it after a couple of years. These are hard decisions. One thing to ask yourself, is can you move back after your DD has graduated. Can you and your husband view this as a 6 year commitment only and be happy?

I have had two situations where I could've tested and didn't. One, I suspected that one of my children had Aspergers. I asked the pediatrician, and she said "He might, but does testing help you? What's really important is how he does in school. If he's doing fine, then do you really want the label?" So I waited, and he did fine in Kindergarten, and I never had him tested. He seems to me to be a bit behind socially, but I don't think a label would necessarily help him, and now, a couple of years later, I see that he is on a path to being a well-functioning adult. My other son is probably gifted (1 in 3000 range from the Cogat results), but I never officially tested him. I didn't think of him as gifted because he was so social, articulate, and well-rounded. He's wasn't quirky, wasn't a perfectionist, and he didn't come up with off-the-wall brilliant thoughts. I simply thought of him as a young adult. It was the testing that came out of his school--9A on Cogats, and very high Iowa percentages across the board that started to make me wonder. There is a gifted school in the area that I should've had him tested by, but I was afraid he wouldn't come out as gifted, and that he would feel like he wasn't smart or that I would view him differently. I was afraid I would be disappointed. In retrospect, after being bored at school as long as he was, I believe that I should've tested him sooner so that I knew one way or another--I might've gone ahead and homeschooled. Or maybe the school would've been more receptive to some of my requests (probably not...but.....). I still haven't had him tested, but he is now at a school that is happy to meet his needs academically. There are a lot of things about the school that make me happy that my husband doesn't or didn't originally think were a good thing. For me, the idea of having college level classes or teachers that had previously taught at the college level was a good thing--I had taken such classes as a kid, I loved it, and thrived in that environment. My husband didn't have that experience, and considered it a negative. Perhaps if my husband thought of him as "gifted", it would have been easier to say to him "that's what a gifted kid needs, I'm sorry if you don't understand that." At this point, unless there's a particular program I want him to apply to, I'm not sure it matters as long as he's having his needs met academically. If people think otherwise, I'd be curious to hear. Right now, I'd be more worried about him seeing himself differently or treating others differently if he has a label.

Is he left-handed? You can get both left and right handed ballpoint pens and pencils with special grips under the brand Stabilo.

Wow! Thanks for the resources!!!! I think I need these for myself! :) What to do when you Worry too Much, What to do when your Brain Gets Stuck and What to do when Mistakes Make you Quake-

It's kind of ironic isn't it, the way the schools do that.... Makes sense from a scheduling point of view I suppose, but adults have to focus on tasks for hours at a time... Unless you have a toddler in which case you only get 15 minutes here and 15 minutes there. :)

DoubleTime, what resources are you using for your "psychology class"?

lewelma, what is your son good at? Does he like cooking? or building things? I'm just curious if there is a path for him in life that involves less writing and more of something he's good at. Would you feel better if you knew that he would be gainfully employed if you focussed on that path?

luuknam, on 13 Jun 2016 - 7:51 PM, said: Woah! Sounds like addressing those things is the first step. Have you guys looked into mold exposure? What you just described sounds a lot like what is being described here: http://paradigmchange.me/wp/fire/ Also, Vitamin D can help with depression and may help with some of the others. If you're in NY, you're probably not getting as much sun exposure. When I moved from Boston to California, I had a noticable reduction in my depression, especially when I'd go outside during the day.

Once you've finished high school, I don't think you have any obligation to continue in college even if you're under 18. Yes, you as a parent can put pressure on, but I almost think it'd be easier to do at 18 where you can give the kid a choice: college or they have to move out and work and pay their own rent. Under 18, I suspect you're still on the hook for taking care of them even if they finished high school. What's to stop them from playing video games for 3 years?

I would worry more about suicide than dropping out if you send a young kid to a non-local college (as opposed to having them home at a local college--I have no problem with that). It can be very lonely to be the youngest and smartest one by a couple of years especially if you're talking a college with a very homogeneous age population (ie, colleges where everyone is 18 coming in). And if your kid is bright enough to get into college at 15, but not into a highly academic one, double whammy: people who don't understand or are jealous of the intellect of your gifted child and an age group your gifted child may not understand. Can't vote, can't go to concerts at clubs with their friends. Some kids aren't going to mind, but it's isolating for others.

Unless the kid is home with you taking classes at a local university, I would *not* recommend going to college at age 15, especially away from home. It can be very stressful, and I have seen kids go a bit wild. I don't mind a kid at a local university, but keep tabs on the social life--ask questions, but give some freedom to make wise decisions themselves. It can be really awkward and bit weird. BTDT. Being 15 and hanging out with 35 year olds is a bit awkward.... Very different life expectations.

Why? (And what I'm hearing is "he wants to leave for college as soon as possible"--he can always enroll for college classes in high school while homeschooling.) Do *you* want him to start (leave for) college as soon as possible? I'm not sure an 11 year old understands what it's like to be 2-4 years younger than everyone else around him and away from home.

I don't know the answer to your questions. I can see it going either way--he could get very stressed, very behind, and feel horrible, or he could push forward, be excited to please others, and be a star performer. I certainly think with his situation your caution is valid. My only suggestion is that finding this out now is better than finding it out later. I don't know about NZ, but in the US, kids get more stressed as high school goes on. The stress in Junior/Senior years being the worst because of college applications. So if you're going to try it, I'd try it as soon as possible to avoid the added stress kids are under in those years.

Math seems to be the one thing that has a destination (ie, Calculus) where finishing it early is ok. I'm not sure how much colleges would require extra math beyond Calculus if someone finished it in 9th or 10th grade especially if their school didn't offer it. Definitely agree that the language requirement depends on the college. A tech school might not care but a liberal arts school might want more.

Sure... that makes sense. I guess we don't have that problem right now as every argument we have is over either LEGOs or respecting personal space.

This sounds like an absolutely fantastic trait to have!!!! In fact, one of my kids was being chastised for not participating in group discussions (like me, he is an independent introvert who does not share his thoughts easily). Can you get him into discussion groups with other kids? Homeschooling as a group with extroverted kids? Maybe he could teach classes for younger kids :) How about a youtube channel where he talks about all the cool stuff he learned?

True enough, but the fights they get into don't tend to involve test scores. I don't make a big deal out of them. I don't say "Don't tell your brother what you got." (yet) I doubt they really remember them after they see them. What I have to make sure doesn't happen is "here's your scores." "Oh..... Can I see how [other sibling] did?" No.... they're private.....

I really don't agree that peer pressure will help him learn social cues. Peer pressure can be quite aggressive he will probably feel like he's being bullied. Not because kids want to bully, but they don't know the right way to handle the situation either. He needs an experienced adult counseling him on social cues to help him understand. I had a situation once where I had information from a child's parent about how her son was feeling, from my own son about her son's actions, and my own observation on how he was treating people. What I thought I was seeing was a kid trying to get laughs by annoying people. What my son and the other kids saw was a kid who needed strong admonishment because he didn't acknowledge lighter admonishments. But the kid, who was actually very sensitive, felt harassed and bullied and that no one liked him. When I told my son it was upsetting him, he said "Oh! I didn't know that! I'll let everyone know to be nice to him instead." (Ack!!!!) Clearly, it would've helped to have an adult mediate the situation a lot earlier, but I suspect i was the first to hear both sides of the issue. But to expect kids to diagnose and fix another kid's social interactions is asking way too much.

My older son knows his test scores. My younger has seen one set. As long as they don't see *each others* scores, we're ok.