A little funny about my Wednesday morning run . . . I did an 8k yesterday morning. Dec 10th in Halifax . . . and I needed no winter gear. I didn't trust myself to leave the house with just a long-sleeved shirt, so I dutifully grabbed my hat, mitts and running jacket. Within 5 minutes of running, I had to strip off everything but my first layer; I tied it all to a light pole and carried on. Thankfully, nobody took my stuff and I enjoyed a great warm winter run! T

Thank you for taking a few minutes to respond - your post is lovely, and very encouraging. I'll print this one off, even if I don't take the position. xoxoxo

I'm definitely my own worst enemy with thinking the whole world sees me as a parenting gong-show! I just have to figure out my "centering strategy" when I feel the crazy starting to creep up on me a bit.

Thanks Jean -- I think I'm just feeling the nerves of actually doing this thing . . . and my desire to protect my family, relationships and school is really important to me. I'm learning how to draw daisy boundaries . . . I think it really does depend on the church atmosphere . . . so your post does deeply encourage me. Thank you.

Certainly, the atmosphere at our church is laid back and I know for sure that our leadership is very supportive of our parenting. We're all about getting away from the "bad girl/bad boy condemnation" and moving into God's love and goodness. It's more my insecurity with the masses of people . . . I think I'm just going to have to get over myself and stay centred with the truth that none of us are perfect and we'll all doing our best to fall forward into grace. Thanks, T

Thanks -- we hit MEP's probability sections this week . . . and much of it it geared towards classroom teaching. I'll check this as an alternative! T

on staff at your local church. Do you feel added pressure to ensure your children are behaving properly? If yes, how do you cope with that added pressure? How do you find a balance between being extra visible/available with people at church and not allowing that visibility to change your parenting style? Have you been able to find the freedom to let your kids be kids, make mistakes, (not be perfect church kids)? I'm trying to wrap my head around what stays the same if I accept a staff position at our church but also be very realistic about what's going to change in terms of parenting/expectations. I know this would be self-induced pressure . . . I'm trying to be gentle with myself, but also aware of my natural tendency to want to put my best foot forward. (read: perform) That's my pkg . . . I want to be absolutely sure that my expectations of my kids aren't beyond realistic. I'm wondering if some of you here would like to share what centres you for parenting in the midst of taking a more active role in church. Thanks, Tricia

Hey Hivers, Any free, interactive probability sites that you'd like to share. I really don't want to shake the die and toss the coin today. I just want to gently introduce concepts of probability. Thanks! T

:iagree::iagree:

My mom and I have a pretty good relationship because she's able to say to me: "Oh Tricia, I wish "blah" could have been different" or things like, "When you know better, you do better . . . and if I'd known then what I know now, I'd have been a much different parent." Her perspective of wishing as much as I do that things could have been different has been made our relationship bloom. Watching her grandparent is a joy to me.

When I have an itch that now amount of scratching will relieve, it's time for self-care. Usually, I'm itchy when I'm feeling overworked, stretched, pressed and haven't taken any time for myself. I'm generally very itchy during my RagingPMSMachine days . . . so I take my itch and apply lots of love, self-care and rest. A smoothy, a cup of tea, a good book . . . anything so that the itch doesn't get out of control and slime my lovely family. I've long learned not to expect my dh to attend to my itchiness - it's something I have to do for me. Warmly, T

Hi Jennifer in MI, DH brought home a Garmin Forerunner 205. My sweet running friend told me a GF 205 is like making and maintaining a new friendship: time and attention is in order, hence the name. I've had this thing for 2 months now, but I'm not the brightest cat on the block when it comes to technology and I'm almost too scared to try and make it work. I'll keep you posted if and when I take the plunge and try to figure it out. Came back to this msg to answer your other Q about how I've been losing the weight: A few months ago, the running g-friend mentionned above told me about candida, detoxifying recipes, alkaline-acidic bodies . . . she's really engaged with a natural lifestyle. I've been eating no white (bread, rice etc), no sugar (with the exception of a 100 cal chocolate bar when I'm about to die for something sweet), no dairy. I absolutely thought this woman was crazy when she told me about her way of eating. I can't dispute the evidence, however, which is weight falling off my body, cravings greatly diminished, energy to run in. the. morning. (before hub leaves for work, which is unheard of in my world), afternoon nap gone . . . the turn-around has been dramatic and more than enough to keep me interested in pressing onward in weight loss. I rarely feel hungry. Chickpeas and lentils have become my best friends. Squash soup is my favourite comfort food. I have a long ways to go . . . dh is involved with a Healthy Workplace initiative. A few months ago, they gave all the employees a measuring tape and told them to measure 2.5 cm's below their navel . . . if the waistline measurement was more than 31" for women or 41" for men, they were at risk for many more health problems. Sadly, my waist is (eeeeeeeeeeeeek) 41" so I'm very entrenched in the not very healthy category. The diet seems extreme, but I've not found any other method of eating which has melted fat like this. T T

I'm so happy to report that Sunday morning, I ran 8km with only a few little breaks for water. Now for the blunt part: it's reallly really hard for an overweight woman to run for very long at all. I've been running as a member of the 200 Club for at least 5 years. In the last few months, I've taken off some weight and running is sooooo much easier. I can barely believe it. Who knew that 15 lbs would make such a noticable difference? My next exercise goal is to make friends with my "digital girlfriend" - dh bought me a watch/gps/calorie counter/distance so I have to take some time to get to know her. I'll have a better idea of how my workouts are progressing! Cheerio, everyone!!! T

Hey Hivers, just to clarify, I posted that snippet because it may have applied to what Colleen shared and it speaks to how I felt in my lowest lows. I fully recognize and agree that when a marriage is abusive (and I know something about it because my father was a very abusive man towards my mom) that divorce is the only option. I'm forever thankful that I didn't have to live with my dad. It would have ruined me. The little snippet of the book I offered here was only for Colleen and not to make anyone feel less than ok because they had to file for divorce. Abuse, regardless of what it looks like or how it plays out, is all the way wrong and sometimes there is no hope for change. I would never want you to think I'm in the camp of "stay, regardless." Warmly, T

I generally hesitate to reply to some of these threads . . . and FTR, as I've stated over and over again, I don't stand in judgement of those that make hard choices because it's hard either way; staying or leaving bring intense challenges. Sometimes life/marriage just sucks right. out. loud. and I've lived on the blade of the sword . . . we were one step away from throwing in the towel . . . except that we had three children and were desperate to break the generational pattern of divorce in our family. This is to encourage Colleen that her ramblings make pretty good sense! Quoting from The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce: The 25 Year Landmark Study by Wallerstein, Lewis & Blakeslee. "One of the many myths of our divorce culture is that divorce automatically rescues children from an unhappy marriage. Indeed, many parents cling to this belief as a way of making themselves feel less guilty. No one wants to hurt his or her child, and thinking that divorce is a solution to eveyone's pain genuinely helps. Moreover, it's true that divorce delivers a child from a violent or cruel marriage. However, when one looks at the thousands of children that my colleagues and I have interviewed at our center since 1980, most of whom were from moderately unhappy marriages that ended in divorce, one message is clear: the children do not say they are happier. Rather, they say flatly, "The day my parents divorced is the day my childhood ended." A bit further on, "What most parents don't realize is that their children can be reasonably content despite the failing marriage. Kids are not necessarily overwhelmed with distress because Mommy and Daddy are arguing. In fact, children and adults can cope pretty well in protecting one another during the stress of a failing marriage or unhappy intact marriage." To finish, "The notion that all or even most parents who divorce are locked into screaming conflict that their children witness is just plain wrong. In many unhappy marriages, one or both people suffer for years in total silence - feeling lonely, sexually deprived and profoundly disappointed. Most of the children of divorce say that they had no idea their parents' marriage was teetering on the brink."

Eeeeeeeek, we're super-busy. Friday night - dinner with friends. Saturday morning - baby shower; afternoon - nachos and evening heading to a Christmas parade with friends. Sunday morning -teaching Sunday School and Sunday evening is Men's Group for my dh. I'll rest on Monday. Weekends are for par-tay-ing!!!!

Loving you, Trivium . . . all day. I'm believing that the God you both serve will woo you to Himself and towards each other. xoxo Tricia

I used to think that this was what weak women did . . . those that were too scared to kick the dead weight to the curb and forge ahead with hard-core girl-power! I used to think that I had a right to impose my agenda on my dh's emotional healing. In the past, I put on him 90% of the burden to change, be better, do the next thing, etc etc etc. Now I know that God is God and I don't love my dh more than God does . . . in fact, God grieves my dh's hurt a zillion times more than I'll ever be capable of and so I rest in that. I rest in knowing that my validation, love, goodness comes from a Loving God and I do my very best to pour that respect and honour into my dh. There's a song we sing at church . . . "You're more than enough for me" and I make a choice to believe that when my dh can't love me deeply. We have lovely days and painful days. I wish it could be all fixed but it never happens on my time. Encouraging all of us WTM girlies without THAT marriage to hang in there! I think the joy of working it out brings such reward.

I stayed because: I made a promise before God; I believed even in the worst of times that we could survive the sh*t and heart-ache; We found loving, gracious marriage mentors that helped us negotiate, spoke truth into the both of us, helped us discuss hard things and weren't scared to get into the trenches with us; I finally realized that God was God and I was not . . . meaning that I could only do me and dh could work his problems out. This was a hard one, because I wanted to fix us but I now believe with everything in me that it only takes one to change a relationship; I stayed because dh is a fabulous, engaged father and I wouldn't leave because I would never want to steal from my children the daily presence of having a daddy; I stumbled over three fabulous books that encouraged me through the depths of marital crazy. Love & Respect. Surrendered Wife. The Good Marriage. In the end, I stayed because I couldn't imagine ever being without dh. I could see that our relational problems grew out of past brokeness that we both brought to the marriage. We both wanted the best for each other and so we've worked hard at changing how we see ourselves and how we treat each other. (My dh was not suffering from any of the BIG A's: abuse, addiction, adultery. I absolutely do not stand in judgement of women who have to make gut-wrenching choices about their futures.)

I've been married for 10 + years. DH and I had never enjoyed, experienced that "best friend, passionate lover, confidante" type of marriage. I continued to press into the marriage but something was always missing. For the first time ever in our relationship, I think we are starting to uncover new shoots of vulnerability, we're starting to really see each other. It's such a joy. I hate to jump on a bandwagon, but it's because of Love & Respect. I needed love but didn't respect my husband. It's that simple. I wasn't giving him what he needed and I wasn't getting what I needed. The turn-around in our relationship astounds me, still. I'm always really super-happy for those of you who get relationship. It's a steep learning curve for me, but progress is sweet. If you asked this question again in a year, I betcha I could be one of the posters who says, "absolutely all the way in love with my DH!!" Today, I say I love him in a very hopeful way.

Yes, a delightfully handy tool! Warmly, T

I betcha there is an AinO story based on Nehemiah, but the stories listed in the Vault are not titled with their bible story information . . . it makes it tricky to find what I need. I'm hoping your selection above is what I need. Thanks.

I'll check it out -- thank you!!

Close, so very close . . . but this is about Joshua and I need the story about Nehemiah. The book selection is exactly what I'd need, but I only have 25 minutes to make or break the story! Thank you and who knows, maybe someone else will chime in! Warmly, T

Tomorrow's SS class is about Nehemiah and rebuilding the walls of Jeruslem. The kids in my class LOVE Adventures in Odyssey so I'm trying to find an A in O story about Nehemiah and his construction work. I tried to do a search on the Whit site, but no luck. Can anyone help me with this? Thank you, Tricia