We are on our second Baratza burr grinder. I've been very pleased with them overall, especially with the second one, because it's quieter and faster than the first one was. I would recommend buying from a store, if possible, rather than ordering online, especially from Amazon. Amazon doesn't package it well, so both of ours sustained minor damage in shipping. That damage, combined with my attempt to use it to turn granulated sugar into powdered sugar (which isn't available here), is what killed off the first one. My husband was able to fix the minor damage on the second one using Krazy Glue. (We would have sent it back, but buying in-store isn't an option for us, and we assumed that a third one would be damaged in shipping as well, so Krazy Glue it is, and it seems to have worked well.)

I would send an email. Many times, people collect RSVPs all in one place, and when they're counting up guests, if the RSVP isn't there with the others, they'll forget all about it, even if they do know that you're coming.

We travel internationally at least once a year (we live outside the US, visit home every year, and move internationally every 2-3 years), and my husband does so more frequently. He has a zippered bifold travel wallet that we use every time. It has a slash pocket in front where we keep whatever we need next, usually the next set of boarding passes and sometimes a copy of the itinerary and/or three passports, and inside there's room for boarding passes for the next leg, six passports, baggage claim tickets, and a copy of three itinerary if it isn't in the slash pocket. Also would fit credit cards and cash if we didn't stash those in various pockets all over our bodies and bags. We store it in an easily accessible part of the carry-on so it's always at our fingertips. It's useful enough for us that I bought one for myself the first time I flew internationally without my husband. It allows us to keep the important paperwork together, organized, and accessible. I wish I could link one like ours for you but I'm on my phone and online shopping is not easy on it. That said, everyone develops their own system for getting through the airports most efficiently, so what works well for us may be an annoyance for others who tried to do it our way.

Kindles Noise canceling headphones Guidebooks, phrase books, or language learning tools IPads loaded with games and movies Travel/passport wallets with room for boarding cards, passports, baggage claim tickets, and itinerary Cameras or small video cameras Anything from Scott eVest that would fit them--my husband recommends them to everyone he meets who travels at all, loves his vest and jacket and pants from them. Can carry three iPads in the vest, no lie. Wonderful way to get around weight restrictions in luggage and carry-on limitations.

I had no idea a curriculum like this existed. I hope I'll remember it (or find it again) in several years when my daughter is ready for it! Thank you for sharing this information.

The advice I've always heard is to not give him anything by mouth while he's still vomiting like that (of course, there's never any indication given of how to tell when he's done vomiting if you don't give him anything by mouth), but dehydration is always a concern. If you have any rehydration crystals, I'd mix them with water according to package directions and try to give it to him a teaspoon at a time. If you don't have any and can't get to the store, there are recipes online. I'd call a doctor, possibly tonight and definitely if he isn't better by morning, and get him in to see one if possible, especially if he can't keep down a teaspoon of rehydrating fluid at a time. Hugs and prayers headed your way. I know it's hard when your child is sick and you aren't totally sure how best to help.

I've already said that I'm not interested in discussing the disciplinary strategies my husband and I use with our daughter. However, I will state that I am *already* teaching her ways to indicate that she does not wish to do something without being defiant, and for the most part, she is quite good at using those methods, though she's still learning. I have said already that going forward, learning to read will be something that she will *not* be required to do if she expresses that she does not wish to do it. I'm not sure how to make that any more clear. Advice to back off has been heard and accepted. There is no need to beat a dead horse. At this point, I have received the advice that I needed from this thread. Thank you to those of you who provided constructive and helpful feedback.

I will be on the lookout for and receptive to cues that we should put it aside so that we can put it aside *before* she becomes defiant. Saying she doesn't want to do something or would rather do something else is not defiance, but is a cue that we should put it aside. Saying "No, I won't!" is defiance. If she leads with that, the defiant attitude will be punished (but we'll still put the phonics away), but if she leads with "I don't want to do that" or "I want to play instead," that is not defiance and will not be punished. The punishment always has been and will continue to be for the defiant "I don't have to do what you say" attitude, not for not wanting to do phonics, or even for not *wanting* to do what I say in general. Part of me being on the lookout for cues is that instead of telling her, "We're going to practice reading now," which could prompt a defiant response, I will say something along the lines of, "I'd like to practice reading now. Would you like to practice reading with me?" because the question allows her to say no without being defiant. Hmm ... side benefit, if I've announced that I want to practice reading, and she doesn't want to join me, maybe that's my excuse for pulling out my own book to read for a few minutes ... that could be a very nice effect of this change.

I was all set to like your post--you really do have good points, and good advice, and most of your post is excellent--and then I got to the last paragraph. To accurately reflect my previous statements, that first sentence should have said: "You say that you're going to watch for cues that your child is not developmentally ready to learn to read, but that at the same time you have not permitted her in the past to refuse." I have not said that *in the future*, I will not permit her to refuse, which is what you implied. I have said that in the future, I will look for cues that I need to back off. I may not have explicitly said, but I certainly did mean to imply, that I will respect those cues in the future--which is the only place where I can change anything, since we've currently stopped doing phonics at all.

About the bickering over things like color names and tree leanings, just decide that you'd rather be happy than be right, and let the small things go. For things that will fester and build up and cause more resentment later (like a pile of chores waiting for you after he goes back to work), would he be responsive if you explained the problem to him at the beginning? The first day he's off work, after breakfast, or while the kids are napping, or in the evening after they've gone to bed, just sit down with him and explain that you anticipate that this will be a problem, and you'd like to be proactive in solving it. (I know my engineer husband appreciates that phrasing, maybe you and your husband do as well?) Maybe he'd be willing to help make sure that all the needed maintenance chores--not just the "put out the fires" chores--get done once he understands the backlog that is created when it doesn't get done, and the resentment that it causes. I know I'm happy when my husband plays with our daughter on weekends, freeing me up to do my normal stuff without a tagalong or having to dodge requests to stop cleaning and start playing with her. So maybe a good bit of his responsibilities could be entertaining the kids--even taking them outside--so you can get the household work done more quickly and peacefully? (Or even if you don't talk to him about it, maybe you could reframe the situation in your own mind to "He's helping by taking care of the kids so I can focus on getting this done quickly.")

Thanks, I will check that out.

The read alouds are from Sonlight's P4/5 package--mostly "advanced" picture books and a few chapter books. The ones we've skipped have been chapter books, though she does enjoy The Milly-Molly-Mandy Storybook (while making it clear that she'd enjoy it more if it had more pictures). She loves some of the books, notably the Brer Rabbit stories and Stories from Around the World, I think is the title; others she likes some of the stories but not all of them (Lion Storyteller Bedtime Book comes to mind); and others she doesn't really like so much (nor do I; Stories from Africa is a prime example--it's too advanced for her, so I skipped most of those stories). So far we've skipped Uncle Wiggily, a chapter book, but I think she'll probably enjoy those stories this summer. There also is a lot of poetry included ... she thinks it's "silly," but most of it is supposed to be (Mother Goose). We do read a lot of picture books as well, though she's made it clear she'd rather play. I don't push her to let me read to her when she'd rather play, as long as we read a little while each day, and she loves to be read to before nap and before bed, so we do read daily. Many of her shorter, favorite picture books, she prefers to "read" to us instead of letting us read them to her. She's very familiar with picture books and telling stories. I did not teach her most of her letters or their sounds, either--I was going to, and I started using Heart of Dakota's Little Hands to Heaven when she was 3. I was surprised to find that she already knew almost all the letters and sounds--she'd picked them up from Leapfrog movies and "Curious George Learns the Alphabet" (she loves anything to do with that monkey and begged for that book, which I hate; that story is so long and contrived and obviously just for teaching the alphabet ... I'd much rather read any other Curious George story to her). Now she knows them all, though she still confuses lowercase b, d, p, and q sometimes, and I've noticed that she frequently mistakes lowercase "r" for "c" in the font used in OPGTR, but not in most other fonts. So when we do start OPGTR again, I'll write out the words for her on the white board rather than having her read from the book.

I can relate to the season thing! We have spent most of our daughter's life living in climates that didn't have what most Americans recognize as seasons--it was a little hotter or a lot wetter during parts of the year, but the dramatic differences of spring/summer/fall/winter just didn't happen in either Egypt or Cambodia, where we lived until 18ish months ago. Last winter was my daughter's first real winter--her first experience of something that didn't feel like late spring/summer/early fall. Now at the beginning of another winter, she's finally experiencing the full cycle. She keeps asking when summer is coming back. Until last year, she had no reason to believe it ever left, and now she's faced with the indignity of it leaving again!

I just edited my siggy to reflect what we're actually doing--we dropped the written work in SL P4/5 halfway through, when it became too difficult; we've dropped almost all of SL LA K because I'm really not a fan and neither is she; we finished one critical thinking workbook and the next is too hard, so we're not starting it yet; and I'm almost ready to remove HWOT preK, not because it's too much but because she loves it, flew through it, and is almost done with the book, but we don't want to start the K level until next fall. Since she enjoys handwriting, I'll probably pick up some letter tracing workbooks that she can do when she wants, and I encourage her to write and draw as desired. We still do the ETC books, which she doesn't love but doesn't hate, and it's all review of stuff she already knows--I'm willing to drop it if she wants, but so far she tolerates it well enough. She loves math and begs to do it--I let her do as much as she wants each day, which could be anywhere from 2 to 10 pages. The Kumon books have been things like cutting and pasting, and she's getting a maze one as a stocking stuffer since she enjoys mazes, but they're only done when she asks, which could be every day for a week and then not at all for two weeks. So, yeah, the old siggie looked like a lot, but what we're really doing is read alouds, math, handwriting, OPGTR, ETC, and some motor skill books when she wants to. The only thing she really resists is OPGTR. Sometimes I also realize that a read aloud is too advanced, so we skip it.

Sleep would definitely help :) I will leave the real advice to those who have been at this longer than I have, but I want you to know that you're not alone. Also, please remember ... it's ok to struggle with this, especially at first. It takes time and practice to get really good at things. I've had a few jobs in my life, and NEVER have I started off at full performance. Every last one of them had a time when I felt overwhelmed by how much I needed to learn, to remember, to implement day-to-day and moment-to-moment. It takes a little while to develop proficiency, and it's ok not to start off as an expert. Give yourself time. Yes, figure out what's working and what isn't, and change things up so they work better. But don't expect to knock it out of the park in your first semester homeschooling! Give yourself some grace to acknowledge that this is a brand new deal for you. Give yourself time to figure it out. Your kids are young. As you adapt, they will adapt as well, and if the education is a little light for a couple months while you figure this out, they'll catch back up. Just breathe. And sleep.

(Edited to say: Apparently my attempt to quote Regentrude and Tibbie Dunbar was unsuccessful. No matter, I would have needed to edit anyway to add Soror.) You both appear to be missing the point. I asked a question about how to teach phonics in a way that did not frustrate my child. Both of you are insisting that I'm all about the disciplining and that I'm pushing my child and will not listen to advice to stop pushing. Plenty of people in this thread have provided wise advice about how to teach phonics more effectively. Several suggested waiting a while, saying that she does not appear to be ready. In case you missed it in my last post, I acknowledged that both of those positions were heard, are useful, and are contenders for being implemented. Those who said to back off and shelve it for a while were advocating for the same response you advocate for, but much more reasonably. You seem to be intentionally confrontational and attempting to hijack this thread into a discussion of discipline rather than answering the question asked. My last post was an attempt to shut down the hijacking of this thread. You chose not to listen to that, so I'm making it explicit now: I am not interested in discussing our parenting philosophy. I am well aware that we are raising a child, not a dog. I am not abusive to my child. I do know that once threads are started, they often veer off onto unrelated tangents, often in direct opposition to what the original poster had asked and desired the thread to discuss. I have no control over where this thread goes from here. Got it. But no matter what you may believe, I do have some (and growing) knowledge of child development and pedagogy and extensive knowledge of our values and how we want our daughter raised. I have knowledge of my daughter that you do not have and a finer understanding of this situation--one which, btw, has been validated and encouraged by some good advice given by PM from someone who was wise enough not to wade into the fray of this thread but who recognized my daughter's behavior as somewhere she's been and something she's done. And I asked and have listened to advice given here because I know that there are those who have BTDT and who offer wisdom. Any further responses I choose to make will be in response only to constructive suggestions that are relevant to my original question. I will not be discussing our parenting or disciplinary philosophies.

From some of the responses, it appears that some of you missed the whole point of my initial post. My question was: how can I change what I'm doing with my daughter so we don't get to the point where she becomes defiant and discipline becomes necessary? Some of you responded with ways to make learning to read more fun and/or interesting for my daughter. Thank you. Others replied with the reasonable suggestion that I shelve the phonics lessons until her maturity has caught up with her academic ability. Thank you. Some of you responded by attacking my decision to teach my 4yo to read, or by attacking our decision to punish unacceptable behavior in all contexts, without giving a pass because it occurs in a school context. No, thank you. As I stated earlier, we cannot accept defiance, and we will discipline every time it happens. That is why I asked the original question about how to prevent it from getting to that point, because I know that I need to discipline that behavior every time it occurs, even though I also already know that repeatedly having to discipline in a school setting is a bad thing. My husband and I have decided to take a break from phonics for the rest of the week while I figure out ways to make it more interesting for our daughter (trying some of your suggestions; thank you). When we start again, I will be on the lookout for and receptive to cues from her that we should put it aside again for a while, but if she becomes defiant, she will be disciplined for that defiance. Depending on how it goes, we may try Reading Eggs again in the near future. Thank you again for all of the helpful replies. I think we have a solid plan for moving forward, so I will consider my question answered for now.

Good to know--thanks! So far, I've been able to manage with the enamel cleaner I bought with my pans, but that'll run out one of these days and I'll be unlikely to be able to get more (living overseas, restrictions on shipping liquids via the cheap methods), plus I hate that I have to wear gloves when I use it. Hydrogen peroxide and baking soda are much more universally available, and probably cheaper, too :)

Thank you all for your responses. For the record, my daughter is not disciplined for normal 4yo focus issues, for not being able to read, or other developmentally expected things. She is not disciplined for telling me that she *can't* do what I tell her to do (even though her behavior across a range of situations has demonstrated that when she says "I can't," what she really means is "I don't want to," because she'll almost always complete the action quickly and easily if told she can do something fun afterward or if told that she'll have to go into time out if she doesn't do it, and it is apparent to me when she really can't do something, and in that case I help her and teach her how to do it). She *is* disciplined when, after being told to do something, she looks at me with drawn eyebrows, set lips, and crossed arms and says "I won't." That response is disciplined no matter if it happens in the context of school or of being told to go to the bathroom so we can brush her teeth before bed or of being told to come here or in any other context. The defiance is what prompts the discipline--and that won't change; defiance will be disciplined no matter in what context it happens. As she grows older and more mature, she'll earn the right to question us, but at 4 years old, she's expected to obey, and when she doesn't, she's disciplined so that she learns for next time. I will discuss this issue with my husband and show him this thread--we'll talk it out and decide together if we should shelve the phonics for now, figure out a way for me to use OPGTR while making it a game (lots of good suggestions for that, thank you!), or maybe even buy a subscription to something like Reading Eggs--we tried that once, after she enjoyed a free sample lesson, but she got bored and frustrated when she had to start at the beginning with things she already knew in order to earn her way to the cat game she'd seen in the sample; if we decide to buy a subscription, we'll have her do the placement test so she'll start at a more appropriate level.

I have been going through OPGTR with my 4yo daughter. We're on Lesson 30, one of the lessons using the short-A sound. She knows all the letters and their sounds, and when she wants to, she can sound out words just fine. Ability, readiness from an academic standpoint--those are not the issues we're having. The problem we're having is that my daughter often refuses to look at the page. It isn't that she's tired; we'll have just started the lesson. It's that the words are so repetitive that she thinks she knows what's coming up, so she'll look at the page for the first letter, then just say the whole word before I uncover the rest of the letters. Then, when we're reading sentences and the words don't all end in the same sound, she continues to think she knows what's coming--often not looking at the page to see even the first letter of the word. For example, in today's lesson, the words that were read in the first part all ended in "-ad": pad, had, mad, etc. So after the first two or three words, she looked at the first letter and said the whole word before the second letter was revealed. Then we started reading sentences: Dan can bat. Dan ran. Dad can bat, etc. She sounded out the first sentence. On the second sentence, she first said "Dan can," and then I stopped her, told her to look at the page, and asked her what the first letter in the second word was. When she said, "r," I asked what sound it made and asked why she said the "c" sound. She said she didn't mean to (her standard answer for anything and everything she does wrong). After re-reading the second sentence, she proceeded to the second sentence. She saw the "D," looked up at me, and said "Dan." I told her that the first step to reading is to look at the page. This is how our lessons go. She's capable of doing them, but she insists on going faster than she can, not actually looking at the page to read, but rather do a combination of reading, skimming, and guessing. If I call her on it and tell her to look at the page and the letters that are actually there, she cries and says she can't do it and says she won't do it. If I tell her (unfortunately, more often yell at her in frustration) that she's going to go into time out until she's ready to obey me and pay attention, however, suddenly she can do it just fine and even seems to feel a sense of proud accomplishment when she gets it right. I do not want to teach her that she doesn't have to do school if she doesn't want to. I do not want to get frustrated and yell at her and make reading a negative experience for her (or for me). I do not want her to dread doing school. I do want her to experience and enjoy that feeling of accomplishment. I do want her to develop confidence that she can do this--and I know she *can* do this if she'll just pay attention to what she's doing. So how do I get her to slow down and pay attention to what she's doing before it gets to the threatening time out phase?

:grouphug: I'm so sorry. I hope you all feel better soon, and that this whole situation gets sorted with as little drama as possible.

Let me get this straight ... is your mom living in *your* house, or are you living in *her* house? If it's her house, she can do what she likes and you should relinquish the washer for her without complaint, but if it's your house, that's another story. And in that case, I'd be sorely tempted to say, "Sure, Mom, you can do Brother's laundry--right after you do all this laundry that *our* household needs done. I was going to try to do it today, though I'm not sure I'm well enough, but you're obviously healthy enough, so I'd appreciate it if you did our laundry before you do Brother's." But maybe I'm just in a bad mood today.

Do you have a cardboard box that's the right size, or that can be cut down into an appropriate size? If so, use Christmas wrapping paper to prettify it--wrapping it without a lid, so that inside and out, it's all Christmas paper. Then arrange your items in it. The muffins can go in the box on a foil-lined piece of cardboard wrapped in plastic wrap if you don't already have something. Edit: Apparently I was typing while Regentrude posted--much more concisely than I did!

I was uncomfortable the first few times I encountered that sort of thing, but it doesn't bother me anymore. I used to feel put on the spot and feel the need to explain that I give to charities in other ways. Then I realized that (1) they don't care; they're just required to ask and (2) even if they do care, I don't care what they think of me. Now I just say "No thank you" and carry on, just as when asked for my phone number I say "I don't give that out" and carry on.

My husband also is Foreign Service. My daughter will be ready for K next year, so I can't say for certain, but I fully expect to give her a classical education at home. When she's young, I'll probably buy most of the books we need, but I'll transition to kindle as she gets older. Feel free to PM me.