He already made me rattle off jobs and someone asked me how many interviews I’d gone on in the past 30 days. They’re just asses lol

for real!! I lost access to my Microsoft 365 so I recently downloaded LibreOffice and made a spreadsheet today of jobs with info in each column (date applied, what website etc). WIN can audit me and it makes me keep up with my stuff. I made a label in my email account for job-related emails.

I got a text today that the communications/marketing job was posted. I redid my resume/edited my profile application (based on their standards that pay is determined by ALL job history including your first job) and made a new cover letter for this role. Application submitted. They job is online for a couple weeks so they won't interview til after Labor Day.

I don’t know but I never replaced the crockpot that xh kept. I do own an instant pot and never learned to use it. For me right now it may be too much fuss. My typical diet doesn’t require much. Partly because I’m trying to lose weight. Greek yogurt/fruit/nuts Salad/veggies/chicken (small tenderloins I bake or boil and use or freeze/defrost as I need) Snack bars (nuts, choc etc) And I eat some meals at my dad’s. I cook more when I have dd or we eat what my dad has. I did intermittent fasting for the past few days but stopped today because I don’t think it’s good for me (I believe I’m hypoglycemic and it’s pushing it).

Happy accident — 7 min from my gym & I have the Hallmark channel again! 😄

I usually pay on Sundays so I tried to get out today. I said I’m not sure if the pet fee was overpaid or not because my cat moved in a few days after me. The front desk said supposedly I owed more money but they waived it and moved my checkout to noon. I was still packing up at 11). The new place is more spacious. I didn’t pay extra for the full size fridge (I think those rooms also have a cooktop). I can make it without. Sometimes I cook food at my dad’s and bring to my hotel. I’m trying to get a playdate set up Thursday since we’re not far from my gf’s new home. Our daughters can’t get together on the weekend because her girl will be out of town at her dad’s. My dd wanted me to drive her to that town lol I really hope I can get the play date scheduled. Dd will be ecstatic. I asked if I could get an early check in here because I had a car full of stuff and my cat. Normal check in is 3… after a bit they agreed. I’m paying by week and reserved it a few weeks out so I figured they’d try to accommodate me.

Booked a hotel 15 min from kids. Pets included in rate. Grab n go breakfast and coin laundry. Nothing spectacular. I’ll be sure to grab the food though

I don’t feel like I do… I just have a better relationship with one. I desperately would love an equally good relationship with the other. I remember as a teen reading articles that said, “everyone does this and if they say they don’t, they’re lying.” I hated that!! By their logic, I was a liar.

Potential roommate never got back to me with rental rate. I reached out this morning. Radio silence. Then I followed up saying I was considering staying in a different extended stay hotel closer to my kids. I drove there and imo it’s a dump. And outside people are loitering (not sure that’s fair to say but hanging out outside in walkways) smoking etc. Linens are not provided. I don’t even have that size bedding. And why is a pet-friendly room full of carpet? There was a bad (mildewy?) smell by the microwave. I’m looking up regular hotels as a last resort (air bnb looks expensive).

He tried to get a word in edgewise that I was looking for certain kind of work (like in my field). me being laid off would have happened either way but job hunting in this area may or may not be better

I wasn't sure if it should come up but my attorney did let the judge know that I would not be at the hotel much longer and I explained about the pet policy changing so I was going to be meeting with a potential roommate. The judge said he doesn't like cats and "don't bring that cat up again." I told my cat you've given me so much grief but I love you and I'm not getting rid of you lol Look, she'll be fine if we have to live in a cardboard box (joking). So this is where things got really awkward. He asked what is the last name of the girl and I couldn't provide that... I said I don't know yet. He said when are you meeting, you said you have to be out of the hotel Tuesday. I said Monday, that's the soonest she could meet and the manager at the hotel knows my situation and said if push comes to shove he'll extend my stay a few days. Then the judge's next question was, "what does she do for work?" and luckily my answer didn't embarrass me. "NASA, Stennis Space Center. Remote work." Then he found out she had a kid and asked about our kids being alone and I said, "well I'm not going to leave my daughter there alone... *insert snide comment I made about xh leaving ds in charge of stepbro and dd while he and wife were at work* Didn't say it to the judge but I went to the house once and ds was asleep and dd and stepbro and his out-of-state friend were there. I learned later that this child had come to spend a few days there and I thought oh great, so two boys are alone with my daughter while ds sleeps. Who thought that was a good idea? I never heard the whole story. My attorney said it wasn't fair to expect all my visits to take place at my dad's partly because of the number of bedrooms. Xh's retort was that dd sleeps in my bed, anyway (SHE keeps crawling into bed with me even when we have extra beds). Then xh's side pointed out that the hotel is only one room (yeah well... I have a twin XL here for when ds comes and dd and I share a full). So all in all, not the best reflection on me and living accommodations. Realistically ds will never come over the house with the roommate so I'm not worried about that. Dd and I can share a room. And who knows if I'll even be a good fit there. Somehow xh or his attorney made a leap to "heart doesn't believe in God" to try to bicker about the original morality issues. I said, "I never said that I don't believe in God." GOOD GRIEF. You guys may or may not know -- I think I mentioned it somewhere in this long thread, but I haven't been going to church but I have not stopped the kids from attending. I have offered to take them to any church they want. Xh said in court that he takes the kids every week and if I got extra weekends they would miss. Hahaha whatever. He's the one that let the miss Sunday school and Mass several times when we were supposedly regularly attending. The kids have literally told me and my dad that they were flip flopping between virtual and face-to-face services at a local non denominational church but got turned off recently because the pastor kept asking for donations to build their other location and it was taking over the sermon. So according to the kids they have not been going. So to hear him say we go every week I thought LIAR LOL.

The judge tried to shame me for not having a job yet. He said someone related to him (niece?) got a job and he thought they were unhireable. Well I didn’t ask but I’d like to know how old is this person and can they afford a 1-2 bedroom apartment on their own? Because if you have a roommate or significant other to share rent then yeah you can settle for that $11 receptionist job. I told him I was primarily looking for a M-F job so it didn’t interfere with my weekend visitation and I even mentioned the casino jobs with unworkable hours. Later, xh’s attorney said I said I’d only looked at M-F jobs and I said, “I did not say that” and the judge said, “she did not say that.” It’s unnerving bring gaslit left and right. (for the record I doubt the library job is M-F… would probably have to work some weekends) ETA: to be fair I guess I can see how the lawyer drew that conclusion because for the most part it’s the case. They also tried to accuse me of not looking closer to the town the school is in. I told them I had (one was that assistant for a CPA office). Then I said but even if I get a job in that town, I can’t afford to live there.

So the graphic design job I didn’t get was at a community college. They were supposed to post their communications job this week but did not. I never learned the salary but I would have taken it for the benefits — free or cheap tuition for the kids, several days off, retirement etc. CASA said they will have an answer next week. If they offer I’ll jump on it.

@Scarlett not sad to me. Kinda funny/amusing.

So you wanna know something ironic? Well, I don’t mind saying this on the board because the judge made me say the names of the employers I’m waiting to hear back from…. One is CASA. Oh the irony

Maybe he wanted me to say max out my credit card if I have to 🤣

Judge did say he was not a fan of big moves but xh claimed he did look for employment closer first. And judge agreed that if either of us move far again we are responsible for all transportation so “get settled here” lol I’m just happy ds had to wait outside of the courtroom. At one point I cried just briefly but I don’t think it was a negative. Mostly the judge did make fair points on both sides. There were a couple times we even laughed. OH MY GOSH he brought up my tinder… but the judge cut him off. Yes, dd saw my tinder once and took interest and we joked about it but I don’t know where xh was going with his story

I have come a long way and this photo made me feel better today… that was a week I was supposed to go to court, but we ended up doing a settlement and that was the outfit I bought for court.

Neither party was awarded any money for attorney fees, or travel costs. I never had my hopes up that high for that, anyway.

I know that it could’ve been much worse but during the trial, it was super stressful

Ooooohhh weeeeeee there’s too much to say lol Started day at wrong courthouse — I was told wrong. Had I known that I would have slept free at my old neighbor’s 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️ xh brought ds to testify against me. Judge would not agree to that. It was a he said/she said account of me telling the kids to be mindful of potential issues with inappropriate touching (the wrestling between dd and stepbro). They tried to say I used words I did not use. But the judge did not want to put ds in that position and I applaud him for that. The ruling was we both did not act great but he ruled neither of us in contempt. We didn’t even get to modify the visitation. He said my 45 min drive from hotel to dd’s school was no big deal because he’s from the country (of course I got a country guy that can’t relate lol … he also doesn’t like cats and couldn’t get staying in the hotel for the cat). But he did make fair points in other areas. I asked for weekends in lieu of Thursdays. I would still lose nights but that was not approved. Xh wants me to have only supervised visits at my dad’s — even after I get an apartment!! Like only ever see the kids there with my dad home. The judge said so there were no issues all summer with her weeks and you want me to force supervised visits now? No (thank you!) He was reprimanded once at work and we got the letter which said nothing about me or faculty housing but apparently my aunt (who acted on her own!) caused a big fuss on campus with her emails etc. I had to state 9x (!) that I had nothing to do with that. I didn’t egg her on to call/email. In fact I was upset and let her know when she said she had. My emails were in court and I never denied those (when I inquired on the policy to see if the woman & child could move in). But my aunt’s actions threw me under the bus. Despite her name/email on them, it made me look bad. I can’t tell her anything now! I’ll say it here on the board now that it’s out in the open — after certain questioning I needed to share I am unemployed. I was laid on end of June and notified 1 day ahead. So I had no paycheck for July. My unemployment isn’t much and I’ve been charging my hotel to my cc. I can’t take pt work like a random babysitting job etc as it screws up my unemployment. I meet with the WIN job center every 2 weeks and report searches, interviews etc. Everything is documented. I did not get unemployment for a couple weeks… the first week you’re in the system is a waiting period and you’re not paid. They generally do not backdate pay either. So I had nothing. I’m still waiting on SNAP. I was rejected for Medicaid because no one under 18 lives in my home. There’s so much more… The judge said what are your plans??? I began to say hopefully I have a job in a few weeks and he cut me off to say HOPE is not a plan and I thought what kind of question is it???

I thought it was in the morning but it’s actually in the afternoon. It got changed so much lol. I don’t think we’ll be in court long. I have a nagging feeling they won’t even post the job tomorrow. I agree, if I get offered the other not to stress about what ifs. I was going to ignore court norms and wear black but I managed to find other dress clothes today that aren’t black. I need dress clothes, anyway.

But maybe if it was a significant difference I could make an exception 😬 I just hate being flakey

That’s not my style. I don’t like to commit to something and leave within weeks 🤷🏻‍♀️

Interview went well but I forgot to ask benefits 🤦🏻‍♀️ the job I really want to apply for hasn’t been posted yet and I’ll probably hear back from today’s job (they plan to have answer next week) before the other place even does interviews.