... and I'm guessin' I won't call this weekend. Maybe next week sometime. ;)

I honestly don't think it was fair of you to ask in front of other people, or to try to cajole them into accepting this request right then and there. I don't think it was gracious to leave the room right after, and considering they left during your absence, it doesn't sound like they felt so, either. It's obvious you feel very strongly about this ministry, and I commend you on that. However, not everybody is going to share your concerns, and hospitality offered by arm-twisting isn't really hospitality. I think any reason they have that causes them to say "no" is valid. It's their home, and they know their boundaries. If you have issues with the hospitality you've offered to them, and feel they "owe" you for what you've given, then perhaps it's time to rethink your own boundaries. But certainly, please do not hold them in the red on what they should do for you now, kwim? FWIW, DH and I have an open door policy. We've had people live with us, family comes to stay with us, and friends are welcome anytime, no call necessary (unless you want to be fed well - I'll feed ya, regardless, but a heads-up would ensure a more enjoyable, plentiful table *grin*) That's us. That's our home. There is no way we expect others to have the same policies or guidelines. I would never expect our friend who stayed with us for three months last year to somehow owe us for that time in the shape of favors we may ask in the future. I'd be pretty torqued if someone did that to me, too. To be honest, I wouldn't say yes, to it, either. I have four points off the top of my head that would cause me to say no, but if I felt pressured, or felt that each of my personal, valid concerns would be met with p'shaw, or argument, then I wouldn't express them, either. One of my dearest, closest, most wonderful friends in the world is soooo not the open-door kind of person. She needs a good week's worth of warning, and while she has taken people in to stay with them in the past, I can't imagine her saying yes to a request like this. She'd have at least ten issues with the set-up, just from what you described, ranging from safety to propriety, but I can guarantee she wouldn't feel comfortable expressing any of them to someone else. If pressed, she would feel awkward, trapped, and humiliated. After she left, it would work itself up to good old-fashioned anger that a friend would make her feel that way. Now, I know you said that you weren't going to bring it up to them again, but it also seems that you're frustrated and a bit angry with them in general. So, I am posting to help show that there's another side to the coin, and also to encourage you to take whatever steps you need to take to remain gracious and loving without putting yourself in a position that leaves you feeling resentful or bitter. {{hugs}} Dy

How long will you be in Uganda? Is this your first trip? My BIL is in Ghana, working with teachers there. This is his third (? - maybe second) trip this year. He's gone several times before to work on wells and run arsenic testing for some villages. He said the flight is a great time to catch up on reading and naps! :tongue_smilie: I also love McCall-Smith's Ladies' Detective Agency books. Light reading, scads of fun, and a delightful look into aspects of the cultures in Botswana that you just don't get from reading the news. ;) Give hubby lots of kisses, and reassure him that he's going to have a great week with the girls! Daddy-Daughter time is priceless. And {{{hugs}} on the pneumonia. It does sound worse before it gets better. She'll pull through this beautifully.

Not just cards, or trinkets, either. She spent enough money there that they actually bought her beautiful collectibles, and gift cards for nice restaurants with enough on them to take the family with her. At first, my siblings and I thought it was strange, but you know, it meant a lot to her. Reminded her of a time when people did develop actual relationships with the folks they did business with. So, we started to look forward to seeing what "Geoff and the girls" sent Mom each year. :lurk5: Happy birthday to your hubby. Any plans for the day?

I love and appreciate your updates, Sharon. Thanks! Keep leaning on His guidance, and you guys are going to come out fine. {{hugs}} and prayers, Dy

Wow, that's on the short list for us. Let us know how you like it, will you? DH is still waffling between the Kubota and the Yanmar. :tongue_smilie: But at this point, I'd take a draft horse and a good blade... Make a pass with the brush hog for me!

WAY. TO. GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :party::party: I'll bet you feel so much better, too (just in time for the "hot 'n sticky" Southern summers - good timing! lol.) We are all so proud of you, Jean. You've worked hard for this. You've been diligent. I know that when you started, and you felt that 100 pounds seemed so far away, but here you are - past that, and looking great. Thank you for sharing your milestone with us. You just gave me a great big smile for the day. Dy

When do you think you'll know no the *perfect* house? I'd think that with your willingness to pay extra on the deposit, that's got to help, right? Ohhhh, how exciting! You need a perfect place to be for a while. You've all been so patient with all the uprooting and making-do. {{hugs}] Got my fingers crossed for you~~ Dy

If you just want to chat. I'll bet I could say something stoopid that would make you laugh. I would call you, but I lost your number (yes, again, I know - think of me as your s-l-ooooo friend). And hey, if you want a "working vacation", we'll be putting the deck boards up and staining this weekend! (*snort* Yeah, I wouldn't exactly jump at that offer, either, but this way you'll know you're thought of while I nail boards and think, "Pfft. Laney could've come to help with this!" ;) ) {{{hugs}}

As it stands, I need to order science, greek, and logic materials, and I. Am. Stumped. Everything else just bleeds into the next level as we finish, so for that, I'm grateful. But those three are just killing me.

He hears the camera click, looks around to see what on earth I could be photographing (because we haven't done anything that's changed the visual since the last time I took pictures), and then he yells over his shoulder, "Are you taking pictures of my --- again?" I giggle. "Well, stop it!" Then he gets twitchy. Then I worry that he's going to fall off the ladder, so I have to go be productive until he's not on alert anymore. The house renovations are nice, but the bronzed hot guy walking around doing the work is even nicer. :D BTW, that's a nice... fence. ;)

It was this hideous larva-looking "baby" in a plastic star. The paint had come off of it around the edges. I have NO idea why someone would give us that. Well, no, I take that back. I do know. it was from my insane sister. When I showed our Mom and asked her, "What on earth---?" Mom said, "Oh, she said she was giving you that to let you know she hopes you have boys." (Which, in my family was tantamount to putting a curse on someone - weird family.) I laughed so hard I snorted. What a lunatic. It kind of worked, though (tongue in cheek, here) b/c we do have four wonderful, fantastic boys. I just don't think this is what she was thinking of when she did that. That's what happens when you try voo-doo the cheap, used icon route. LOL. We also got something that we think was a very nice glass casserole dish. We'll never know for sure, though, b/c the bellhop dropped it on the way to the elevator. For years, we referred to the "Johnny Bag of Broken Glass" as the best gift, ever!

I try to give rep when someone expresses something succinctly, or provides truly helpful insight/advice - whether it's meant for me or not, whether I agree with that person or not. But I'm always somewhat pleasantly surprised when someone gives me rep. :)

You guys are in my prayers this week. {{{hugs}} for all of you. You'll be in our thoughts. Dy

I've never experienced this before, but when I uploaded some project pictures, only one shows. The URL for the rest look something like this: What's up w/ the "localhost" thing? Why did it do that, when the pictures were uploaded in the same session, using the same upload utility? The only picture that will show has the normal "bp1" or "bp3" blogger URL. Anyone have any idea what I did wrong? Dy

That way, when it goes from cute to not-so-cute, you can tuck him in at the end of the day and get back to "so cute" again! ;) I do love that one-on-one time. Never realized Smidge was such a talker until I had him all to myself one day, and WOW, can that kid fill the gaps! LOL! It's nice to have that, but it can be tiring when you aren't used to it. Dy

Children do adapt so quickly, and there is so much to explore in this world - you're all going to have an amazing time of it. And honestly, if a Brit and a Texan can find home-sweet-home in China, then a segue into Scotland should just round out the adventure beautifully, right? ;) Now, you are boning up on your photography skills, right??? *ahem* Because you've GOT to keep us updated with photos galore when you get there. :D Dy

Is this the point you're referencing? (Emphasis mine, added for this post. :)) The points you mention regarding workers, guests, etc, involve people who are in your home with your consent. The pool laws, I understand, relate to the pool, specifically, regardless of whether the person in question was trespassing or not, right? Whether I agree with the principle of responsibility on private property as many states (not just CA) have applied it, or not, I do understand that. But, if someone breaks into your home and injures himself in the commission of that crime, are you, in the state of CA, liable for his injuries? If he cuts himself on the glass window he broke to climb through, are you going to have to ante up for the stitches? If he slips hauling your TV down the stairs and breaks his neck, will you be found liable for that? Has CA really gone that far? (I'm asking b/c I don't know, and I'm absolutely flabbergasted to think that this is the case.) We probably agree more on this point than you think. My point with this, however, is that we're discussing legal responsibility - who gets to spend the rest of her life in the joint if someone manages to do something idiotic on my property, with my private property. However, what I refer to as "due diligence" is the same basic principle, applied without the oversight of the law. It's the "personal" portion of "personal responsibility".

I can't give you a one-size-fits-all answer to that. What age is the minor? How did the minor get a hold of a weapon? What was going on at the time? Every situation that involves an accidental death also involves an extensive investigation of the circumstances surrounding the death. No loving parent wants harm to come to a child (I hate all the mental caveats that ran through my mind - so I went with loving - please insert necessary addenda, here), and when it does via an accident, be it that the child was run over in the driveway, drowned in a pool, fell out of a second story window, od'd on Grandma's heart medication, impaled himself on a pitchfork, or managed to fire a gun, it's a tragedy of incredible proportions. Period. But jumping straight to "whose fault is it" isn't the route I would take (or have taken, when these things hit the news, for example). A blanket question like that is asking for an end-all answer that wouldn't serve well at all. For example, DH and I are probably overly-concerned with making sure we have every. single. child. when we leave the house. We do a head count in the driveway, we call one another a few miles down the road to confirm how many the other person has with him/her, we do additional head counts even if we haven't stopped the car since the last head count. We feel that's practicing due diligence, and are comfortable with that level of security. We aren't about to start pointing fingers, however, when our friends don't do a head count until they get home. Or if they never do a roll call in the car. They do what they believe is necessary, to the level they believe is necessary, for their homes and families. If one of them should lose a child somewhere along the way, we aren't going to be arguing that everybody should be made to do a roll call, a head count, and a double verification "just in case". And we aren't going to be asking everybody to do things the way we do them. Even if it is "for the children". Same thing with firearms - all of them. We practice due diligence to a level we are comfortable with. We are upfront with our guests, as we cannot expect people to make informed decisions without all the information needed. If I have ever failed to practice due diligence, then certainly I bear responsibility for that. But no one is ever wholly responsible for another person's actions. Ever. HTH, Dy

I think in this case, I'd refer to a kitchen knife, by definition, as a sharp-edged tool, designed for cutting. I use it to prepare food. Someone else may use it as a weapon, for self-defense, or perhaps for malicious means. The difference lies in the person controlling the tool, right? A gun is a weapon, designed to fire a projectile at a high velocity. I happen to employ this weapon to protect my family. The "purpose", if you're at all familiar with ballistics, is "stopping power". That's the purpose and the aim in using a firearm. I'm honestly not trying to be euphemistic, and I do appreciate that we can discuss this openly and without hostility. (Thank you. Not everyone is capable of that.) My "hope" is not that by harming or killing someone, I might be able to protect my family. I choose this tool as a means to stop someone from using force to cause harm or to deprive me of life or property. Guns are often used to ward off an attack without ever being fired. I would not recommend brandishing one in the hope that it's mere presence will do the trick, but the fact is that it does sometimes do just that. We should probably also define "children", since the concern over children accidentally getting hold of a gun and doing harm is a concern in the forefront of this thread. The numbers included in the "tragic deaths of children" also include adults 18 and 19 years of age who are often engaged in illegal activities to begin with. The statistics point out the connections of "children" being killed in their own homes, by people they know. Quite often, that they died in their own homes (often during a drug deal or other interaction gone bad), shot by someone they know (technically, the BATF considers dealers who are transacting business to know one another) gets construed to evoke images of little Susie and little Johnny, ages 3 and 5, who got into Daddy's drawer and shot up cousin Bobby. Those images are heartbreaking, definitely. They also aren't the majority of cases that include "the children". Yet that definition is used loosely and liberally to apply to all the numbers in an attempt to make that the main focus in discussions and legislation. Yes, as with all things, all tools, all weapons, all medications - blunt objects, knives, vehicles, swimming pools, chemicals - there is a risk of abuse and tragedy. There is a high level of responsibility involved in firearm ownership, but it does not extend to the point that someone who is breaking the law in getting their hands on my guns is no longer responsible for his/her own behavior - which is a point I keep seeing pushed, here. I'm simply not willing to forego the means to protect my family out of fear that someone will do something stupid or malicious. What surprises me is that so many people will come down hot and heavy on gun owners for their choices, and yet there is no stigmatization against private pool owners for exercising a luxury and endangering their own children and neighbors. There's a much greater risk of a neighbor child slipping into a back yard pool and drowning than there is of a neighbor child getting his or her hands on one of my guns. Ever. That much, I can guarantee. :) Dy

Do not be afraid to articulate your needs, and when someone offers to help, take them at face value. "What can I do to help?" should be answered with, "You know, it would mean so much if you could x, y, and z, please." If someone says, "Do you want me to a, b, or c," and none of that would be beneficial to you, take a deep breath, smile, feel loved, and say, "You know, d-e-f would be so much more helpful to me (for my sanity, make everything more comfortable - insert whatever result you need and would get from d-e-f, make sense?) Would you mind taking care of that?" It took me FIVE births to suck it up and say something like that. And you know what? People were MORE than happy to help. People want to help, even if they don't know how to help. By asking for specific things, by being clear, we're not only reducing our own stress, but we are allowing people to be as helpful as they feel like they're being in their minds. Seriously. But the big thing, at least for me, is to remember that if I feel GREAT one day, it's because I stayed put, in bed, and rested. That means I need *more of the same*. It does not mean it's time for me to get up and put everything back together. A-HA! Again, took me five births, but I *finally* broke the one step forward, two steps back cycle. I kept my butt in bed for a full week, just shut my eyes on the way to the bathroom and sang to myself, "la-la-laaaa, I'm not looooooking!" And this was, by far, the fastest, easiest, most nearly enjoyable recovery I have ever had. Treat yourself to it, if you can, and no matter how much you want to get up and think, "I'm feeling good. I'll just tidy this, or wash that, or move this..." DON'T. You didn't get to feeling good by doing those things. Stay put, suck it up, take another nap. Trust. Me.

WOOHOO! Happy birthday, Debra! You are one I truly wish I could celebrate with in person. ;) Happiest of days, my friend! Dy

I will readily admit that I do not work under the assumption that the "purpose" for owning a firearm is "to kill people", which is the logical extrapolation of this definition I keep seeing posted as the sole "purpose" of a firearm. So, that said, I do understand that we may not ever agree on this topic. Accidental deaths are also treated differently under the law than intentional deaths, and pre-meditated deaths, as you say, for good reason. I own, train with, and keep on my person, my firearms, not in order to kill someone, but in order to exercise the protection of my inalienable rights. I have the right to life. If someone were to attempt to take that from me, they would have two options: coercion or force. It's safe to say that it's not going to happen that someone will be able to convince me to give up my life by reasoning me into it. Therefore, they'd have to use force. If I have the right to continue living my life, and if that right is inalienable, yet there are those who would use force to remove that right, then I must have the means to protect that right. Same thing goes for my children, my family. My firearm is not within arm's reach in order to kill someone. It is within arm's reach to provide me with the means, should I ever need them, to protect my family. That -- protection of my family, my property, my home -- is my "sole purpose", but as long as the definition of a firearm is limited by such a term, and as long as you insist that I'm carrying it just to kill someone - which you claim can be the only reasonable purpose for such a tool - any significant discussion stalls.

She'd appreciate something like that! And then, maybe I can threaten her with a puppy once in a while. ;)

I think the story you left was perfect! Thanks. Dy