Hannah
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Posts posted by Hannah
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15 hours ago, Melissa Louise said:
I wonder:
For those of you who don't worry about it, because everything turned out well anyway, can you trace a series of factors that got you there? Personality, background, choices?
Background: I was born into a healthy, functioning family. My widowed paternal grandmother immigrated with two small children after WWII and she made a living doing secretarial work and later as a matron of a university residence. At age 70 Oma single-handedly built her own one-bedroomed house! There was never any doubt in my mind that girls could do anything they set their minds to and could look after themselves. My mother's family were also immigrants and had a similarly stoic attitude to life.
Events and choices: My mom died when I was 18 and that changed a lot. I looked after my younger sisters for 4 months out of six while my father was at sea. Then about 18 months later, he met and married his wife. She was somehow jealous of me and to keep the peace I was asked to no longer come home. I was in my final year of a 3-year commerce degree at the time, which I was going to follow up with a math teaching certification. I finished the commerce degree and then decided to change course completely and study engineering for another four years. I think part of that decision was just to find stability for a while and stay in the student town. I don't think I'd have done it if my mom was still alive.
Luck: I was able to put repayments of the student loan for the first degree on hold and got a bursary from a good company for my engineering studies. I am still with this corporate nearly 30 years later. Some managers were great, others not so great, but I've had fantastic opportunities along the way and honestly have never felt that my gender was an issue. I was able to work part-time for many years while we homeschooled (even in operations where it had not been allowed before). Its also where I met my husband. Our marriage has not been without challenges, mainly due to ill health, but we are a good team and have wonderful kids. We've been really lucky to have good employment and having been able to save.
Personality: As the death of my mom happened in young adulthood, this shaped a lot of my personality. The worst things emotionally had already happened and I had survived, so I knew I could make it on my own. As an adult I've always been confident in my own abilities and I know that we will make a plan and I believe that things will work out.
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My what-if is around what our lives would have been like had we emigrated when all of our friends were doing it 14 years ago. Dh had been flown overseas for interviews and had three job offers to choose from, we had a firm offer on our house, and then health issues stopped us in our tracks. When things settled, a move had become way more disruptive for the kids and we were getting too old to pursue skilled worker visas anyway.
There have been many lifestyle advantages of staying. Both our kids have done competitive horse-riding at national level and I don't think we would have been able to afford that overseas. They've also had a very rural upbringing with a lot of time spent outdoors. When we were looking at emigrating the job opportunities were in big cities. Our country is basically falling apart, but the universities here are still good and the ones the kids attend are in the top 500 of various world rankings. We can afford to pay their fees and for them to study debt-free. I don't know if we would have been able to do that. But there have also been sacrifices. For me the biggest has been that our friends circle dwindled. We used to have weekly barbeques and frequent dinner parties, but when one after the other of our friends left, it became more difficult to make new friends as one usually does through being in the same young parent group or homeschooling group, etc. We had social contact through our kid's sport, but no longer the closeness I still have with those friends that now live so far away.
Our younger child is talking about emigrating after university and that's going to be very hard. I've seen how hard it has been for my Dad with my sisters living overseas. We may have avoided living far from our kids as we age had we still made emigration happen when we could.
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Moulding around the top. Paint the uppers white and the lower cabinets blue. New silver hardware and possibly a new backsplash.
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I sold ours annually on a local homeschool 2nd hand facebook page. I always priced low, but did not want to give it away for free as I did want the person to really want and use the books.
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4 hours ago, Storygirl said:
They called today to offer me the Barnes and Noble bookseller job (15-20 hours per week), and I accepted!
Congratulations and enjoy the new job!
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Just stunning! Well done on a gorgeous wedding. Your daughter looked so beautiful.
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16 minutes ago, Laura Corin said:
No, I can't get anything in writing because the structure is not in place. So nothing is certain. The other job I was offered is not a dream job, however, so I am inclining towards staying put and seeing if they come good on their assurances within the next six months. If not, I can think again.
I also think that I am mentally a bit volatile at the moment. The pandemic years plus my mother's death and this reorganisation have been a lot, and I think that my sudden job searching may have been a symptom of that, rather than a considered move. I'm not sure, on reflection, that I'm strong enough for a big change right now.
Even without the pandemic and your mother's death, the uncertainty around reorganisation and job security is stressful in itself, especially as this seems to be a drawn-out process. Through the search and job-offer you've proven to yourself that there are other opportunities available to you (even if not ideal) and its a wake-up call to your own department that they need to make sure that they look after you in the reorganisation process.
Since the job you were offered is not a dream job, it makes sense to stay put where you are. Nothing stops you from continuing to look though.
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I'd like to add that the legal name should sound 'adult'. Here it was common in my generation to add a diminutive 'tjie' after girls names, eg Hannetjie, Annatjie, etc. I don't know any grown women with these legal names who don't go by the shortened form. Even in high school they were dropping the 'tjie'.
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I'd go with an Anglicized spelling of the nickname.
For example, for a gaelic name such as Dairíne, which would be Anglicized to Darene, I'd go with the Anglicized spelling of the nickname Dereenie.
Or Bettina for for the Italian diminutive of Elisabetta or Benedetta.
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14 hours ago, Laura Corin said:
he had pledges from his boss, the Dean and the head of HR to get my wishes fulfilled.
Can you get anything in writing Laura? Is the new organisation structure finalised yet?
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3 hours ago, Laura Corin said:
Interview at 12.00 today; job offer at 2pm. Now I just need to work out if I want the job - they've given me until Monday to decide. I'm going to talk to my current boss about it too.
Well done Laura! And good luck deciding.
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5 hours ago, Shelydon said:
Thanks all. I think I have lost myself enough that I am not sure what I want, but I'll plan something. 🙃
Planning something will be the start of discovering yourself again - If you don't like it you'll know that too!!
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There are no words. Deepest sympathy to you and your family.
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Younger ASD child started university in February, has found a supportive friends group and is doing SO well! I would not have predicted this 5 years ago when we were facing anxiety and depression - getting a diagnosis and ongoing therapy to learn social skills has really paid off.
Older Dd is also doing well with her studies and is happy as well.
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Agreeing that an update would be lovely.
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16 minutes ago, BakersDozen said:
No lessons save for YouTube.
2nd Chair with the Pops orchestra - youngest participant to ever have that seat
Audition for Phoenix Youth Orchestra - got in and got Principal Chair
Winner of 3 local scholarships/competitions for music
Acceptance into University of AZ music program
Wow!! In four years she's achieved all that! Total respect!
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Tonight we are having a South-African casserole called bobotie (pronounced ba-boo-tea). Its made with curried ground/minced beef.
The recipe calls for chutney and we use a local brand called Mrs, Balls which I see is available on Amazon, but I think any fruit chutney will work.
Ingredients
- 500g lean minced (ground) beef
- 2 onions, finely chopped
- 1 large clove garlic, crushed
- 1 carrot, grated
- 30ml (2T) oil
- 2 slices bread
- 250ml (1cup) milk
- 2 eggs
- 15ml (1T) mild curry powder
- 5ml (1t) turmeric
- 5ml (1t) ground cinnamon
- 2,5ml (1/2t) ground coriander
- 10ml (2t) salt
- 2,5ml (1/2t) pepper
- 30ml (2T) wine or vinegar or lemon juice
- 125ml (1/2c) seedless raisins
- 45ml (3T) chutney
Method
- Preheat oven to 180oC
- Heat oil and butter in large pan and fry onions, garlic and carrot. Set aside.
- Brown the mince and break up with a fork.
- Soak bread in milk.
- Add all dry ingredients and the onions, garlic and carrots and mix well.
- Squeeze milk from the bread, mash and add to the mixture.
- Mix in chutney
- Add 125ml (1/2c) of the milk and reserve the rest.
- Add 1 egg and mix well.
- Spoon the mixture into a greased oven dish and spread the mixture.
- Mix the remaining egg and milk and pour over the mixture.
- Bake in the oven for about 30 minutes or until the egg and milk mixture on top is firm.
Serve with rice
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What a Star! RIP
"Simply the best" was on the soundtrack of my early 20s. So many good memories with that song playing in the background.
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I hope that the conversation went well.
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All the best and hoping for good news for you.
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If you don't mind her joining you in any of your pre-made plans, I'd let her know that "These are our plans for the weekend. We'd love for you to join us. Expect to see x, y and z there as well. Or feel free to join me for a coffee at home while we get ready to go out, or a nightcap when we've put the kids to bed."
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Agreeing with others that it sounds like its time. It is such a hard decision to make.
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1 hour ago, Grace Hopper said:
Side question: how did each of you find your book clubs? I really want to join one but don’t know where/how to gather my people. Most of the people I am acquainted with would prefer a non-fiction book study, but I’m looking for a fun group to have a meal and discuss novels with.
Ours is more a 'travelling private library club' than a traditional book club. It grew out of the fact that new books are very expensive here and our library has zero funds. We each buy the books we like, then contribute them to the book club. On book-club evening we tell the other members about the books that were contributed and the other members choose the ones they want to borrow for the next month. Each month a few of the older books get culled and given back to the owner. Ours goes by word of month.
When she moved, my sister in the UK posted on her village's group to ask whether there were any book clubs she could join. She also put out an ad asking if there were any people that would like to form a book club with her. She was invited to one that meets at the local pub and she did get a few people to join hers, so now she's in two book clubs. Both are the 'read a book and discuss' type.
For the one she wanted to form, she listed a few to illustrate the types of books she'd like to discuss. We talked about it and I think hers were Lessons in Chemistry, The Dutch House, The Phone Booth at the Edge of the World, The Rose Code, Where the Crawdads Sing, etc.
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Painting toddler’s toenails
in The Chat Board
Posted
Couldn't have said it better.