Help me figure this out. My daughter recently switched music instructors. I have done 100% of the communication with him thus far via my gmail account and/or text. He is in her phone contact list, but not her email contacts list. He is showing up in her "suggested friends" on facebook now even though they have zero mutual friends. It's not a "bad" thing - I am just trying to make sense of the mysterious Big Brother something-or-another that has her connected with him in the chain of events. It seems it would be more likely that he would have shown up in my suggested-friends feed if gmail were communicating with facebook somehow. DD's gmail is attached to her facebook account, mine is not... but again, he is not in her gmail contacts (he is in mine) - only in our shared phone contacts list. :confused1: Facebook is so weird!! I just can't figure out how it connected the two of them & I can't rest until I know!!! lololol!

Thanks for the input! When I was in AP English (back in the dark ages, lol) my teacher told us to always have someone give our papers a once-over before turning them in, so I've been following that model. College tutors seem set up to do the same type of thing. I've just been alerting her to "duh" moments in her writing, Not changing what she meant to write... But I will be mindful of being even more hands-off because her teacher is amazing. Thanks for the input on application essays. Local friends have all given me differing opinions, so it left me confused. :) but I don't want to be 100% hands-off if the other kids are having their papers looked over or edited by someone else, kwim? Competition is fierce! lol Just highlighting clunky wording or circling weak words or errors is as far as I'd go. The girls figure out the fixes themselves or brainstorm it out loud together.

My girls are in 11th and 9th grade. The oldest is in an online AP English class this year - when she writes essays for this class - I see the paper before she turns it in and... other than a raised eyebrow here or there, or a suggestion to re-phrase something, or to point out an obvious misspelling or mispunctuation, or if she's repeated a word several times... I leave it to the teacher. Is this appropriate - giving it a once-over before she turns it in? The teacher in her class gives her WONDERFUL & helpful feedback and she's doing far better in the class than I dreamed she would manage to do - should I be 100% hands-off? Far more importantly (because I think I am okay with the above...), as she and my second daughter are beginning to fill in applications for academic opportunities or scholarships, I am wondering how much should I meddle in their application essay process? Sometimes (they are so busy), their writing is flat and I can point that out and give them ideas for strengthening what they are trying to say. Is that okay? Or should I be tight-lipped and leave it to them? I've said many times that, at this point in their education and extracurricular life, I am FAR more their administrative/executive assistant than I am their teacher. And editing their rough and final drafts seems like the thing I should be doing. They are far too busy to sit and nitpick over every single word and are sometimes eager to be content with a job "mostly done" than they would be if they had more time available. If I go through their application or essay and mark through a few clunkers, they are then able to quickly come up with a rephrasing and spend a smaller amount of time on a rewrite that sounds much better than their original. But... I dunno. Am I overstepping if I do this? :confused1: Education decisions for the younger two is so much less stressful. :laugh: We just pretty much do what we want. lol

Absolute agreement!! :) Most videos are so over-wrought and over-thought and over-shiny - the LACK of open-ended art is first-apparent. A video such as this - one that makes you see and think and feel (and, for me, get a bit misty-eyed) is a beautiful thing indeed.

I am not a fan of Shia L, but the video itself was beautiful and so, so sad. I like to think that that the video/song is about a troubled father/daughter relationship where the father is bipolar and/or abusive and the daughter both trying to escape him & her own mental illness and wanting to save him from his own personal hell. Even though he is cruel to her, he is also, at times, kind, loving, and sad... And she wants to save him but she cannot. She can only save herself by leaving his presence. So sad and so real. *sigh* I really thought it was beautiful.

I didn't read any replies - because I cannot fathom how it could ever be rude to bring your own food to a family function. Especially when it's food you've made so that you aren't feeling ill for days afterward. Who on earth would begrudge a person that option?! By all means - bring along your own food and eat it without reservation or guilt!! If someone shoots you nasty looks or says something - bake the "special Ex-Lax brownies" and serve it to them at the next family function and they can see how very much they enjoy feeling awful for a couple days after a family holiday. (I kid... I kid....)

Oh that would be awesome if that happens for dd's score! I've found out that some in our state have gotten their scores in the mail- but no one we know yet. Amy is completely unfazed. I, on the other hand, am a jumbled bundle of nerves. LoLoL!

In theory, I'm with you 100%! lol I just wish there'd been a way without signing into dd's account. Then I did some more reading and saw that kids are getting their paper score at some schools now and felt less questionable about trying it. I want the information the "front door" way - but yeah, when there've been a few SAT & ACT tests in the meantime who already have results back... It's incredibly frustrating. I was holding off signing dd up for the SAT today until she got the PSAT results back - now wishing we had signed her up since her score likely would be fine as a first round. :/ Now she's got to wait. So by delaying the college board missed out on me paying for one more test. ;) Silly CB.

I just went through the steps (feeling mildly conflicted about doing so - anyone else? :o ) and am a very excited & relieved mom right about now. Wishing I'd bothered to do more PSAT prep with dd this year, though (she was realllllly stressed and busy during Sept/early October and I was trying to find a balance between over-prepping and being ready to go). The result is, that if the qualifying numbers for our state are close to last year's, she'll be right on the bubble. :crying: But, MAN, this gives me hope for her SAT!!!!!!!!! The section where she got the most errors is THE area she's spent some time on SINCE OCtober and has made tremendous improvements!! Not telling dd - she'll wait until the paper envelope arrives in the mail in case the data is incorrect or my calculations are wacky (I'm not the math person in this household, that's for sure). BUt - cautiously optomistic!! Oh my gosh! I had fully prepared myself for a lower score than last year (based on the lack of prep and her high-stress, high-exhaustion at the time of the psat). :cheers2:

Yikes. Ok. I've gotten plenty of feedback to make our decision and feel at peace with that decision. I would really like to let this thread die before it gets nasty and people are reading too much into every word I've said or making this kid's intentions anything other than strictly in good-guy mode. There is zero flirting. Zero inappropriate discussion. Inviting us as a family to a music event at a college that we would not have otherwise have heard of - with world-class musicians performing is not a nefarious act. Whispering during a very quiet performer is polite and dd learned SO much from those experiences. So I do request that this thread be allowed to move along with no further replies. I do not want it to blow up into anything that will cast shadows on either my dd or this young man. I will be sitting in on future lessons because protecting him does make sense. Some of T's friends may begin taking lessons from him eventually and it is partially up to me to set the precedence here I suppose. Pleas do not reply. 😠let the thread move along & die a natural death. Thank you again for the input from all sides. :)

Thank you for the clarification. I feel better! 😊 yes, this dd presents as older. She's an old soul type. But she's very upfront about her age so that anyone who knows her is well aware that she's very young even if she doesn't really act like it. :)

Thanks for the input and thanks for staying nice about it!! :) a lot of good food for thought. A couple things: there is no teenage crush happening. He's "ewww" old according to dd. T and I have a very open relationship and I know to keep eyes open on that account, so no blindness there. In light of him needing to protect himself as a teacher moving forward, I do see that point and am leaning to change my mind on this note alone because I do see the practicality. As the mother of two young sons, this makes me sad though. :/ Listening to her practice is not a problem because she's screeching or anything like that. She's a beautiful player. But it is soooo hard for me to sit still & I have trouble feeling bored when I should be doing one of a dozen other things. It's a comparatively quiet instrument in a quiet room so any noise I make is noticeable. She's been with him a year, but has 3-4 years total with the instrument. Most of the teachers in this field are men who teach in a more aggressive/loud manner ( a trait of the instrument) & they really intimidate dd and the lessons are counter-productive. This kid is perfect. The boys are doing real schoolwork on the drive or we are having discussions. No audio books or movies at home. The kids' schedules are ridiculously busy and having a solid block of 2 hours to work with them while I'm doing something else is a beautiful thing. I'm trying really hard to not be incredibly offended at this on behalf of my daughter. I'm assuming you meant it in kindness. :) But. She's had trouble with a few guys (plural) because she has a wide social net and some men/boys are jerks. Not because of any vibe she's giving off (and even if she IS giving off a "vibe," they'd still be the creeps here). She's had trouble with a few boys her own age who need to be taught some etiquette from their parents too. She's very friendly (to EVERYONE - girls & guys alike) and some guys take that as an invite to be crude. It's not. >:-/

The boys & I are outside in the car. :) His coming to our house for lessons is not very practical for a number of reasons. The front room is a big living area/kitchen open space. The front door is left open and I can see their shadows inside the room from the street if I bother to look to my right.

ok - I do see your point. :) Keeping up appearances and all of that... I am certain that making a general policy is the very last thing on his mind - I'm pretty sure dd is his only student at the moment. lol We live in a college town and there are college-student music teachers a dime-a-dozen - but he is a perfect personality match for dd teacher-wise. Would just my randomly going in sometimes achieve the same thing? By NOT going in, I am able to actually squeeze quite a bit of school work with the boys. When I have to go in, I leave the boys at home with biggest sister and they're... well... young. lol Only so much actually gets done. We are gone for 1 hour, 45 minutes for her lesson, once a week (including drive time). When the boys are with me, we get a LOT done on the drive & while T is inside. When I leave them at home, it's dicey (what they get done) and I feel like I am wasting those 2 hours. :/ Time is so precious - and I need to multi-task as often as I can.

Thanks for the input! We have enough to make our decision. Letting the thread die now before it elevates into anything outside of what I originally intended. Thank you all for being nice in your replies and allowing me to ask this here! 😊 Such a wealth of opinions and information here - I really appreciate you all! 😄

Mine was taking it "for real" today and also reported that she thought it was easier than last year's test and the practice tests she's done recently. Which, of course, freaked me right out. I'm worried that she maybe breeeeezed a bit through too many problems. She said she sat with several minutes left on the final section (which is her strongest section, but still... SITTING with TIME LEFT?!?). I asked if she looked over her answers, and she said "no, not really." I tried to refrain from going bug-eyed. (which I did until much later tonight, when I completely overreacted over an entirely unrelated issue. Repressed nagging had to be freed!) :cursing: :blush: And now we wait. lol :svengo:

UPDATE: She opted to take the desk-job internship (knock me over with a feather! I was so surprised!) and it pays quite a bit more than we expected, so... she will actually be able to save quite a bit over the summer! It's all good news! :)

Thank you for the input - very helpful at giving us the "important facts" to focus on! She has a few emails in for more information, so will likely decide by Monday what to do... I'm simultaneously proud/happy of her choosing to do this and utterly bummed that she's choosing to do this. All these conflicting emotions at one time! :willy_nilly: It's tricky to parent these older teens! :p

I need (gentle) input - are we guiding dd the right way here? :blush: DD (junior) has two summer internship offers with a possible third in the wings, waiting on some red tape to learn the exact info on that one (but it's not as applicable to what her college major will be, so probably not a "true" contender anyway). Both are full-time summer internships. One is a desk job, the other involves some overnight travel (and that is the one she is strongly leaning toward at this moment). Both are paying internships, but I imagine it's not much (can't they pay interns less than minimum wage, if they pay them at all? She hasn't clarified how much either of these pay yet, we're just assuming that it's pebbles). Both positions were previously filled by college students (and usually are offered to college students). So - goodbye plans to take a summer college class, work her regular summer job (a "fun" part-time job), hang out with friends or her boyfriend... not to mention that (selfishly) dh and I will miss her so much (since it's the "last" summer at home before her summer of heading off to college). :/ She's also got college applications and scholarships and, and, and... this summer too, right? (I'm sort of sticking my head in the sand with college paperwork/plans right now - just trying to get this school year steadied and schedule ACT/SAT/etc and coordinate the other 1,453,783 things my older two kids have on their agendas each week...). She has to decide quickly. She plans to get a degree in engineering and everyone - EVERY.ONE - keeps drilling her with how important internships are for when potential employers are considering hiring her. So, is this just the beginning of what is to come? but if she starts now, surely she would be expected to work another the summer before she leaves for college, and another every summer thereafter to just keep up with the other Engineering Joneses? She NEEDS to take one of the offers, right? To not do so would be just plain stupid. Right? (for the record, she WANTS to do this. I'm just lamenting the loss of her young, carefree days a little bit, I suppose, because she hasn't had many. She's been working SO hard these past few years & I guess I was hoping she could have one last summer to goof off a little bit before she's a "real" grown-up... She WANTS to take one of the offers, but doesn't fully comprehend what it's like to actually WORK 8+ hours a day every single day for very little pay. Especially while her friends are planning a fun, carefree summer...) :mellow:

My girls are doing great so far this year. Oldest is only in one asynchronous class and it is amazing! There was a *big* learning curve for her in the beginning, which was a little painful to watch from a distance and she missed some points on some assignments because she didn't realize she was skipping a step - but now she has it mostly managed and loves the class (AP English thru blue tent ). It's a real stretch for her, but she's doing great even though drowning a bit with the reading load (not a speedy reader). She's also taking some online recorded classes, but there's no teacher or classmate interaction, so those are easy to manage and not as much fun. :) Dd#2 is taking two classes. The first is a live Algebra class - she likes the teacher and, for the first time EVER she really seems to be understanding what she is doing with math. (David Vogel, I think it's called Living the Answer classes...) And she's also taking a live IEW class, but she's missed the turn-in deadlines for both assignments (my fault more than hers) but she's taking a similar IEW class locally this year so she'll just turn them in there. :p

Thank you!! I will google that now...

What is BFSU? :) on phone and can't search acronyms easily.

Yes, that's it - the memes are mean and meant to be mean spirited. :crying: I can write, and often think "words", in mirror image. When I am tired, especially, I will start to do it without noticing. Maybe my genes even further complicated the brains of my non-spellers! lol The youngest son will often spell half the word forwards, then the other half with the letters in reverse. When you look at it, it makes no sense whatsoever - not a phonetic misspelling - just bizarre! I shudder to think of the memes that could be created from some of his efforts! Oye! He's improving as he gets older and we keep at it, but it's nothing you can put a finger on. He reads beautifully though, with no problems at all... so it's just interesting.

I hate those memes. My husband and 2 of my 4 kids are horrible spellers. Honest-to-goodness, absolutely horrible spellers. The 3 of them also have "mild" dyslexia, so letters are mixed-up, added-in, you name it. It's a nightmare for them. They all are well-read, well-educated (thankyouverymuch :tongue_smilie: ), and I used to place an ENORMOUS amount of importance on spelling during our school days with dd#1. A few years ago, I just gave up. When I notice a word that is missed more than once, we review it. She jots things down. She uses spell-check a LOT (her grammar skills are strong, so thankfully she is able to use spell-check without making goofy mistakes with it). And, as she has gotten older, and WORKED at it, she's gotten better - but it's been a long road and is does not come naturally at all. My youngest son is the same, but still very young. I'm not doing spelling tests, etc with him because I've learned from dd#1 and we're using a different approach that I hope will be of more help to him. My other 2 kids & I are natural-born spellers. If we see/read a word, we generally remember it forever (there are many exceptions, of course!! lol). So easy for us. So hard for the other half of our family. So - I hate those memes. They make me sad for my dh and my kids, who are super smart (and interestingly enough, those 3 are the math/science half of our family) and lovely, lovely people to boot. PS Weird Al's Word Crimes video was hilarious - even my bad spellers thought so. Not sure why that didn't bother us - and the memes do. hmmm.... :laugh:

got it out of my system. :) ahhhh, deep breath. :)