2 minutes!

I actually rented a basement room from a nice family (with young children) when I was a grad student. I stayed there during the week, usually about 4 nights, and then went home to my hubby (who was working in another state) for the weekends. The basement did not have a separate entrance, so we came through the side door and through the laundry room to get in. I did not have laundry privileges, and actually saw the family of the house very little. There were two bedrooms in the basement, and they rented the other room out to another female graduate student. I think the arrangement worked out very well for everyone. I would definitely agree that renting out to a grad student is a better idea, and one who is married would help avoid some of the issues you might be concerned about with young children around. As a renter, the one issue I had was that they had given a house key to a friend, and I didn't know. Once, when the family was away, the "friend" came in looking for something in the house (in the middle of the night!) and I almost called the police. I was SO scared! It would have been a sticky situation if the police had come....

Prayers and :grouphug:.

Thanks so much for all the ideas, everyone!! Doodler, the Number Talks book looks especially great! And I forgot about the 24 game...we have that one and need to pull it out. Good idea to cross-post...I'll do that!

My dd (11) is in 6th grade in ps, and I am just now figuring out that she really has trouble with number sense. She has managed to do ok in math in school so far because she has a wonderful memory, has all her math facts down, and is a pro at following formulas. She is incredibly organized. But within the last year she has had more problems with math, really struggled on our state-mandated testing, takes FOREVER with her homework, needs lots of hand-holding, and after a very revealing conference with her teacher, we've figured out that because of her lack of number sense she is very inefficient with how she solves math problems, and therefore is incredibly slow. (She has a reading disability, and we have been so focused on that I'm afraid math has taken a back-burner with us.) Please, would anyone have any suggestions about what math curriculum might be good for us to work on at home, to help develop a strong number sense and a real understanding of the relationship between numbers? (Our ps has used a very controversial math curriculum that they have now ditched, and I think it has left some real holes in her understanding.) Any thoughts/advice greatly appreciated!!

Wait...making sandwiches doesn't count as cooking? There goes half my repetoire! Seriously, when I'm not well, I stick with the minimum for cooking. Heating up Prego and boiling noodles is big cooking for me. I also find I only really want to cook when I'm hungry, and my appetite is usually pretty much gone when I'm sick. I feel for you and totally understand!! Maybe go through a recipe site online, or a wonderful food blog, and find some inspiration? Some of those sites actually make me want to cook (and I almost never want to cook!) I'm hoping one of my kids will love cooking, because neither my husband nor I like it, but we do like to eat! :-) Hugs to you! I'm sure your dh really means it when he asks if he could pick up take-out, and wouldn't want you to feel guilty.

It can certainly be a silver lining in bad circumstances. Hugs to you for all you've been going through!

Oh how awful! Prayers here!!

I also agree with pulling her close and giving her as much attention as you can right now. Fill her "love tank" and help her feel extra special. I know that is so much easier to say than to do, especially with all you have going on right now. Maybe getting her to be your special helper as you care for your son? Praise every positive behavior like crazy. My dd, who was adopted at 13 months, was home about two years when we had to move to a different state. My sweet girl started acting physically abusive towards family and even friends. It was awful. I finally called her pediatrician to ask about getting help, and he wisely reminded me that the last time she had moved, she had moved away from everyone and everything she knew. I just hadn't been looking at it through her eyes. Maybe your son's illness reminds your dd of something from her past. If nothing else, having your attention diverted, and picking up on some of the stress you no doubt feel, is bringing up insecurities. I now believe, after adopting three times, that even if a child was adopted at a relatively young age, they have experienced having EVERYTHING in their lives taken away, and that kind of experience is remembered subconsciously if not consciously. It forms part of their understanding of the world - the fact that nothing is 100% secure and that it can change against their will at any time. Taken in light of that, it makes sense to me that your daughter might be acting the way she is. Pull her close, guard her heart, give her more of yourself than you think you would need to. Huge hugs to you. In the end, this experience, and learning she is loved even through insecurities and bad behavior, may just make her that much less insecure in the end. After we moved, my daughter finally seemed securely attached. It's as though she unpacked her mental bags and realized she was here in our family to stay. I'm grateful for that move now, even though at the time it was so hard, because it cemented in her mind that regardless of her behavior, where our family goes, so does she.

No advice here, just lots of :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:!

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: So, so sorry.

Prayers! :grouphug:

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

My son is 5, and we just started homeschooling kindergarten. He has SPD (severe) and we are waiting for an appointment at the end of November with a developmental ped. to find out about what else might be going on (ADD or ASD). I have started a couple semi-desperate threads already because homeschooling has had such a bumpy start for us. He simply can't do workbook kinds of things; he needs to be moving all the time. He has no patience for repetition of material at all, even things he hasn't mastered. We have finally put together a schedule that seems to be working for us both. In the morning he watches a science video for a half hour, and then I read to him for 1-2 hours while he plays legos (which he literally can do all day). After lunch we have two 5-minute lessons: one math, and one phonics. We literally set a timer for each. (I'm hoping to stretch these out gradually as time goes on.) Then he is done for the day. That really seems to be all he can tolerate right now. I admit to being really frustrated sometimes, because there are so many wonderful things we could do or I could be teaching him, but it is overwhelming to him. I have planned field trips and some days he just.can't.do.it. With his SPD being so different every day, I'm trying to be accommodating and flexible. It's hard, because I get frustrated, but I'm learning to let go of my own plans if necessary. I do only homeschool one child, so my situation is definitely different than yours. Is your dd an auditory learner? Are there ways to let her move and groove and yet still listen in on some of what you are doing with your dd6.5? I wish I had more advice/ideas for you in terms of how to balance homeschooling all three kids. In our situation, a school setting was simply unworkable for my ds. It was way too stressful. He turned to me yesterday and told me that he loves school! :-) That makes every bit of this worth it!

:grouphug: Prayers for healing for you!!

Maybe your dh hasn't thought about the heating costs. Perhaps a compromise would be to ask the friend to come during the day only Saturday and Sunday due to the fact that heating the guest house would be so expensive. Or even to go back to only Sundays? Maybe helping him out is the right thing to do, but maybe there are ways to do it that are not as intrusive to you or your family time.

Thank you...just having this reinforced for me helps so much. This is also how my dh feels. I just feel so much pressure to be able to show how much we got done with homeschooling...but really all that pressure is coming from within, not from without. Even my parents have been relatively supportive. Sometimes it's tough being type A!

Oh wow, everyone, thank you so much for all the replies! I appreciate them all and take them all to heart! I admit, I go back and forth between this being an immaturity issue (ds was a 28 week preemie who has had lots of issues, and he is simultaneously crazy-wise and socially immature) and it being behavioral. My dh and I tend to be on the stricter side of things, and we have always taught our kids to respect authority. My older two have matured into polite, responsible kids (I feel lucky to say!) Ds5 is really throwing me for a loop. After I posted yesterday, he continued to tantrum for a while, and then finally, resentfully, let me read him Madeline. He even enjoyed it. (I'm sure against his will, but I caught him smiling!) And then he immediately resumed his tantrum. Sounds behavioral, right? He pretty much tantrumed continuously for 3 1/2 hours. He finally calmed down when my dh got home and distracted him from his issues with me. I told my dh last night that I think we have let ds5 have too much control in the past. He has sensory processing disorder, and often really can't handle certain environments. But it is hard to know where to draw the line in allowing him to dictate where the rest of the family goes and, therefore, where he goes. We have tended to allow him to say when he is uncomfortable with certain places/activities, and I think he has gotten used to calling the shots. And that needs to change. We do turn the tv off during school hours. He has never argued with that. I do a lot of read-alouds with him while he plays legos. I think in part because of his spd, he HAS to be doing something with his hands while he listens. He still hears and processes every word, it's amazing! He really learns a lot just from my reading to him, and our trips to the library, which he usually loves. So part of me thinks I should just give him this year to mature, and just concentrate on reading books he chooses out loud to him. At least until he is 6 at the end of December. But I do want to eventually have some more structured learning happening. I think I am too much of a control-freak to unschool for long, lol! He is NOT a workbook child, unfortunately (tried that over the summer) but I do think he is someone who would benefit from a schedule that outlines what needs to get done in a day, especially knowing that he might be free to do X at the end. Wow, you have all given me so much to think about! And the support here is just amazing...I appreciate it more than you know! I'm sure I'll be bouncing more ideas off you all! (And I can't wait until I can write to another newbie homeschooler, "Ah, yes, tantrums and work refusal. I remember when my ds USED to challenge me with those..." lol!)

Of course!! Prayers here and huge hugs!! I hope the 3:00 appointment is very helpful. I'll be thinking of you and sending prayers up for you all day!

What, oh what, do you do with a child who absolutely refuses to do anything that isn't his own choice?? My son is 5, almost 6. He is a great kid, very bright, very social, very loving, and usually very mellow. But ever since we have started homeschooling, he has fought me every step of the way. I have tried every discipline trick I could think of, finally gave up all our curriculum and tried a variant of "unschooling" but all he wants to do is play legos (with 100% of my attention) or watch tv. I was trying to very loosly follow a FIAR curriculum before, and he won't even let me read him any of the books. Never mind any hands-on projects. Today I told him that if we read Madaline together, we would get to build the Eiffel Tower out of Legos. He has now been tantruming about an hour over this. I told him today that if he won't let me teach him, I might as well send him to school so he could learn something. (Nice threat, huh?) I'm at my wits end. I so want this to work, and I know a classroom setting isn't the right place for him right now. But this is getting ridiculous!!! Thanks for listening to me vent!!

I'm also an adoptive mom, and I know the total no-adequate-words-to-describe-it joy you are feeling....YOUR WAIT IS ALMOST OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So thrilled for you...enjoy every surreal and amazing moment of meeting your beautiful son!!

:hurray::hurray::hurray: How wonderful!!! Congratulations!!

What a cool website! This thread is costing me a lot of money, by the way...thanks y'all, lol! I didn't know about most of these things, and my lego-obsessed son is going to be one happy kid at Christmas...

Heartfelt prayers for Elise and her family!! May they feel God's loving arms around them!

I have total dental phobia. I always joke that I need a valium just to make the appointment to see the dentist. I had a dentist as a child that did not believe in novacaine for kids, and I had SO many cavities...I remember dental assistants having to hold my arms and legs down as the dentist worked on me...awful. What I find now is that my anxiety leading up to the appointment is always so much worse than the appointment merits, or than the appointment itself, for that matter. I always feel such relief during the appointment because it is NEVER as bad as I fear. I do take valium before-hand. I think some kind of sedation is really helpful. Some dentists specialize in working with dental phobics, and I do think the dentist's approach makes a difference. Look for someone like that...maybe someone at church can recommend one. Recently I've started bringing audiobooks on my phone to listen to during the appointment. The other thing that helps is that I plan some reward for myself afterwards. It doesn't have to be anything expensive, just something I wouldn't normally allow myself, like an hour of window-shopping, or trip to Starbucks, or buying a book I've been wishing for. Something to reward myself. You can do it! You will be a great role model for your kids too, on how to face fears when you need to. Huge hugs...I truly understand how scary it is! You will be fine, and you will feel SO good when it is behind you!!