Gin and tonics are good...it's been a long time since I've had one of those.

Wow, in my neck of the woods Everclear is a drink people drive five hours to drink in the closest Alaskan town...they go to get Hyderized :). I definitely am too old to get Hyderized! :)

Haha! Lucky I'm older than 15, and weigh more than 90 lbs. :)

Groceries are killer. I just spent $300 today too. And I know I will be back at store next week. (And we have a side of beef in freezer. My $300 included a package of chicken thighs and breasts.)

Yes "not" too sweet :).

My dh and I often have a glass of red wine with dinner. Sometimes beer. I think I've been watching too much Mad Men on netflix because I'm kind of wanting to try scotch or something like that. Anyone have a suggestion for a drink that's not too sweet, for sipping before or after dinners? Other than a bottle of Appletons rum at Christmas, we're not seasoned hard liquor drinkers. (Okay I feel kind of funny posting that last line...I'm not trying to become a a seasoned hard liquor drinker.)

Oh my this was difficult to read. It is just wrong that the dog returns in that condition. I most definitely would report her.

Lanny, that's the question...what did she do the allowed her to return to her activities?

Yup that's me. I exercise every day but my muscles feel worse every day. I hate it. I keep wondering how I will walk when I'm 80 when I feel so decrepit at 48. I keep wondering if its more than fibromyalgia but I guess not. I will go read the muscle relaxant thread.

I have noticed progressive inflexibility with my muscles and wonder if others experience this too. It used to just be pain but now it's pain and difficulty with movement. For example it's hard for me to straighten my arms to shave because there is so much muscle pain. Or Recently I had to write a lot of notes (with a pen) and my arm was aching after wards. The muscles in my legs hurt and sometimes feel tight. Is this just all part of fibromyalgia?

I worked casual part-time when the kids were young and now work full-time. It's not easy but necessary. My dh has been the stay at home parent the last 1.5 years. He doesn't homeschool but he is there for the kids.

Ann, you get it :). It's what we struggle with everyday. On Mother's Day he was gushy with me...later that night he wanted something I had to say no to and the bomb dropped. One hour of verbal abuse. It is a roller coaster.,,you want to believe the best, even though you know it's not likely the case.

I think his birth mother is telling him these things. We do look at these as positive. He's mixed up for sure and rightly so. Lots of things have happened to him in his short life.

Thanks Stephanie. Indeed that is exactly the direction we steered the conversation. My dh and I have a soft heart for helping where there are needs. Our dinner table usually has a handful of extra teens...some with pretty tough lives. I'm happy to see my kids all have a very compassionate heart. Of course, since he told me of his sister's troubles, we are thinking of ways to help. I did immediately tell him that there are ways she could get help and that she can call me any time if she needs a shoulder to lean on. It is very tough knowing my child has a struggling family. Actually all three of my children have struggling families. If we can help, we will.

I was thinking of her last night.

So this is the third weekend since son found his birth family. Remember my boy has RAD and Oppositional Defiant Disorder. Friday noon conversation between him and me: "mom, you're the most uncaring mother on earth....". Followed immediately by "can you let (his birth sister) and (her baby) live with us. She is in an abusive relationship." I responded by saying "you just said I was a bad mother." His reply? "For me, but she's a different person." Hmmmm. Then Saturday when I wasn't home he told dh that "maybe a trip (to birth mother) isn't worth it". Interesting times here at our home.

Yes my son has had physical altercations with us and yes he could very well take off without our permission (if he has a source of money). I just got off phone with councilor. (She is also an adoptive parent of special needs kids.) She said to say no to any trip that doesn't include one parent (I mean dh or I) and isn't paid for by birth family. She also advised against combining it with our family vacation. My dh and i think this is good advice. Now to tell him. :( And her.

My conversation today is alone so I can have a frank discussion. In theory it would be possible to fly her here but i don't think she would agree. We live in a fairly remote community far from any urban centres (nearest city of 80,000 people is a 7.5 hour drive for us), Vancouver is a 16 hour drive for us). She suffers from anxiety so I doubt she could do a trip of that magnitude alone. Flights can be $1000 (because it would require a flight to Vancouver and then one to where she lives). Interestingly last night she admitted to being labeled scizophrenic and bi-polar but she said those labels weren't accurate . . . she's just sensitive and has the gift of ESP. He has told us from day one that he knows shes "off" but he's not scared of her. it just adds another level of uncertainty of how she'll handle a reunion. Honestly i feel like our life has become a made for t.v. movie.

Honestly we're starting to question even the trip in summer. I have a telephone conversation with an attachment councilor scheduled for today. I will see what she thinks. My boy is not very happy with us. Aside from his special needs, he's a teen... He knows everything, we know nothing.

This is what's we are kind of dealing with. It's terrible.

She is highly dysfunctional. But my son suffers from RAD so he does not listen to us. I mean we may be able to control the situation because we won't buy a plane ticket but we will suffer his wrath. We have an open adoption with my daughter and it works well. It's tough.

Yes this is all true. We didn't adopt until he was four for this very reason. We are so alone. Social services is telling us to let him go which is so counter intuitive. And because he has attachment disorder and oppositional defiant disorder, he doesn't listen to us. In fact today when we said o to the plane ticket he told me I was the most uncaring mother on earth. Are you kidding me! We have gone through hell with this child, and still love him. And tell him so. So now we will be punished for saying no. My heart is heavy with that same feeling. And not because we are against our children knowing their biological families. This circumstance is just so difficult. And I am worn out.

So did you buy the tickets? Yes we have a strong church network. Our son has attachment disorder and oppositional defiant disorder. We couldn't have parented without this network.

Oh no I love Mexican food. Now I want the recipe :). I can understand how you feel. I've felt that way too but I always share.

Thanks. Given his age, 15, social services told us he could go. Yup. She told me We've had our time with him, now its her turn. We are very open to options. She's not. She told me she doesn't want to meet us or even our other children. No one in our area specializes in attachment. But we have some expert phone counciling. I am trying to leave in their court yes. I just explained we do not have the financial means to fly him. There are many, huge red flags. It's daunting especially since we are open to a relationship. We haven't said no.