I searched but can't find the post from the past. Someone here mentioned that sometimes it helps if you dab a tiny bit of...umm...(I'm just gonna say it...:blushing:) lubric@nt on your (ahem) sensitive external parts several hours in advance of possible teA brewing, and then go about your normal business. I think the sensation does sort of increase your "awareness" of that area, which in turn gets you thinking about...which is half the battle right there for a lot of women. Worth a try, and costs only a few dollars if you don't already have the right "supplies". :leaving:

I am one of the sweetest, kindest Christian ladies you'd ever meet in real life. I would not hesitate, and I would feel no guilt at all. This might indeed make me sound like even more of a freak than I already am, but I'll say it anyway: When I look around at some of the horrible atrocities that are committed, I wish that I were in the position to euthanize the wild animals that commit them. :001_huh:

I don't want to violate board rules by moving this into a more personal realm. PLEASE do not add any more comments to the thread. If you wish to give me advice, please send it to me via P.M. Thanks!

Lonely, and clueless, and even before the current concern, I'd never seen her flirt in any context or situation. Still, I think it's true that it cannot be *just* me. I will pray and consider who might be able to help.

The contact will happen eventually. Very, VERY small town, and I cannot hide forever. ZERO chance of picking up 2000 cows and moving to another place.

No one else knows, and... I suspect that she might also be having conversations with another man who's married with a young child. I really think she doesn't realize that friendly telephone conversations could possibly be so destructive, and I'm fairly certain she'd be dismayed to know just how often actions like hers would result in divorce and damage to a family. I could be wrong, and she could become angry. OR, she might realize that in order to be the person she would really like to be, that there are other ways to live that would be more glorifying to God and more respectful of herself and others. At this point, I've already imagined all of the really horrible things she might do or say should she become enraged. Nothing negative that she could do or say would make much of a difference at this point, but if there's the possibility that some good could come of it, I feel that it would be honoring the Lord in a tangible way for me to follow through. Lots to gain, not much to lose. I seem to have reached the point where no earthly opinion of me seems to matter so much. She will accept the conversation, or not. Businesses will fail, or not. Marriages will fail, or not. All I can do is keep to what I know is right (loving other people, helping them where I can), and keep following in faith.

I've never heard of the broken cross thing either. I wouldn't assume that Christians who don't approve of the peace symbol don't know Jesus. :001_huh: That particular symbol doesn't especially appeal to me (and I am a Christian) because of the association with hippie drug culture, and because of mistreatment of homecoming soldiers in the name of "peace" and it's symbol. I do know Jesus, and I love peace too, just not that particular symbol with it's social connotations. My kids don't wear it, either because of lack of desire, or out of respect for my feeling on the subject, but I don't condemn anyone else's display of the symbol.

...that I should not do this. I will reconsider, and pray. I think that each time I see her in the future I will wish I'd followed through with talking to her.

I'm willing to take the risk, though I haven't completely made up my mind. I have felt called (and I don't use the phrase lightly) to speak with her if I get the chance and an appropriate situation.

I think that's what this is. It's me becoming me again. I would never, in the past, have left a young woman in her situation without at least attempting to gently engage her in conversation about whether this was who she wanted to really be, reminding her that there's so much good in her, and to make choices that reflect the best in her, and not give in to sin out of thoughtlessness or loneliness. It's going a long way toward healing, for me to be able to look beyond my own belly button again. :001_smile:

I will be seeing her eventually, so it won't take me seeking her out, it will just free me from hiding and avoiding. I think that's probably a good thing. We will absolutely see each other in the course of normal life, but this is me dealing with it in a spiritually healthy way for both of our sakes, if I'm being completely honest. I really *really* want to get back to being me. The me who cares about other people, who can see beyond myself, and who's willing to do hard things that have eternal value. I'm finding that healing, for me, means finding who I am now, while still maintaining the best of who I was in the past. The best part of me would have gently talked to a young woman who was risking so much of herself. I'm not sure it really matters who she trespassed upon. I'm the only one that knows, and I cannot leave someone floundering when there's a chance that I might be able to help prevent a world of pain for someone else in the future.

This is my impression. I think she's a nice person who was clueless about just how badly she trespassed on other people. Deep down, she knew it wasn't right, but I don't think she really thought through what might happen as a result of her actions (and those of others, I'm not making excuses or shifting blame, at all.) I don't think anyone else knows what happened, and I doubt if she knows what the effects were on our end, since there's been no contact. I want her to have the chance to see grace in action, and I want her to grow in faith through her experiences. I doubt that's ever been modeled for her, and I'd like to be used by the Lord in that way. It would be indulging the best part of my character. That's who I was before, and that's who I'd like to be again.

My attempt at discretion has left her with no guidance at all, and that is very selfish. We were very friendly before I knew what had happened, and I just haven't seen her since then. We've had no angry words or animosity that would get in the way of me being able to speak to her kindly. If she accepts the counsel, then the Lord will have been glorified through my actions. If she doesn't accept the counsel...well, there's really not much left for me to lose. Where's the downside? It seems like the very best part of me would speak the truth in loving-kindness. That is what I would have done in the past, and that's the person I'd like to be in the future.

UPDATE: *Please*, don't add any additional comments to this thread. I'm thankful for the perspectives, and will consider them all, but I don't want to be the source of a closed/deleted thread. I'm not a rule-breaker by nature. If you'd like to offer any other advice, please feel free to P.M. me. :-) ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What do you think about this? I know a young woman (around 25 yo) who professes to be a Christian. At the same time, she has been playing very close to the edge of some really egregious sins, that have (I'm sure mostly unintentionally) really seriously hurt other people. I know she doesn't have a mom or sister or other family support for her faith, and I'm not even sure she has a church home and the fellowship of other Christian women to help her through life. She may still be downplaying the seriousness of her actions, and regardless of the pain she may have caused me personally, I'm also worried about her own future and the future of other families that she (may already be) inadvertently putting in a possibly painful position. I don't believe any of the things she has done are intentional, but I also think she may not be thinking things through, and doesn't realize the cost of her actions to other people, and most especially, the expense to her own character. I want her to protect herself from bad situations, to always make sure she's not being used by others, and I want to very gently and kindly remind her to give her faith some "feet", and to spend her time in ways that will bear good fruit in the world, and in herself. To seek out what is beautiful, noble, and uplifting. Because I have not disclosed her actions in public, I am also preventing this young woman from receiving any Godly counsel at all. It looks like I'm all there is, and I'm feeling that the Lord is leading me to find the words to help her. Not ongoing mentorship, just a word from someone who's a bit further along in her walk. I'm aware that she may not welcome the counsel, but I don't think it will be at all confrontational on my part or hers. Even if she doesn't accept my words with grace, perhaps it will plant a seed that grows over time. Am I nuts? :001_huh: (I don't want to violate board rules, so I'd like to keep this on a surface level, and not get into any personal aspect of the situation, ok?)

Grandma gets a cheer from me for taking kids on a field trip. She's a champ, and did nothing wrong and plenty right. Mom needs to be WAY more matter-of-fact and tell the youngers how their day will be, without fanfare or guilt, and they will have their fun another day. Sorry mom, but imo, you're being super-sensitive and choosing to see an offense where there really wasn't.

Doesn't fit for my boys. :001_smile:

The eating less has been going on for four months. The exercise has been going on for two weeks. I guess we'll see over time. I'll be doing it anyway, but it would be nice to see some physical change also. ETA: That's it. The grammar police should be knocking on my door any second. Maybe this is "the New Me", but I don't think I care.

The exercise is *not* for weight loss, I just expected that to be the happy side-effect of finally being very active and not eating so much. The walking is mostly for sanity's sake. After a while, it's numbing in a way I find really pleasant right now. I do some short runs, just under 1/4 mile, a couple of times during my walk, and I expect that I'll probably soon be able to run the 1/4, then the 1/2, and then, someday...maybe a mile. ;) I don't drink soda, I don't eat dessert, I don't eat white bread or white rice. I don't eat anything with much caffeine, be it chocolate, coffee, or tea. I make almost everything from home-grown or organic food sources, and buy almost no "food" that comes in a box. I drink somewhere around 8 glasses of water per day, and it's always been my favorite drink. I've tried low-carbing, and I did indeed find it easy to lose weight that way. For me though, it seemed to cause something that I can only describe as "carb sensitivity". After a while of low-carbing, if I had so much as a tiny taste of anything with sugar, I basically went comatose (not literally, but absolutely unable to function, and definitely unsafe to drive). It became a professional hazard, since I am, once in a while, required to sample new recipes as I develop them. Even a tiny bite seemed to do me in after about 20 minutes. Anyway, thanks for the advice, and the commiseration. I'm not looking at the weight as something I can do anything about right now, I'm just trying to keep on keepin' on. Breathing in and out appropriately, etc. It just boggles my brain that the calories in/calories out thing doesn't seem to be remotely accurate in my case. :confused:

For two weeks I've been walking 7 miles a day, 5 days a week. I've also been measuring/tracking my food. I'm 5'6". I weigh 224 lbs. :blushing:. I've been eating around 1600 calories per day, mostly vegetables and protein. Got on the scale, and I've gained 3 lbs. :001_huh: :glare:

I woke up in the night and one of my eyes was stuck shut. I held a warm, wet washcloth on it for a minute and then went back to bed. This morning I woke up and it was stuck shut again. I washed it gently with warm water, but it's been a couple of hours and my eye feels tingly and slightly itchy. I remember having this happen when I was a kid, but I don't remember what the "fix" was. Am I getting pink eye? Is it something else? What am I supposed to do about it?

I will be living vicariously through your fun.:001_smile: Honestly, even if you don't end up together, it will still be a great memory. You'll be able to laugh together and say, "hey, remember that time when you tried to surprise me and we didn't even end up together?".:tongue_smilie: Please update us afterwards and let us know how it went!

I hate it so much that I bought a brand new printer even though the old one is technically still functional. I thought mine was a 6500 series, though I could be wrong, and I'm not close enough to check right now. It dropped off of the wireless network constantly, so I essentially had to reinstall the printer every time I wanted to use it. It goes through a long "preparation" time every time I try to print anything, will not scan, tells me that the ink delivery system is failing, and crashes every time I change an ink cartridge. The tray that holds the printed pages broke almost immediately. :glare: I'd go for the Cannon.

Whether or not I would quit would depend upon how passionately I felt about the cause. If I felt that the work was important, I would want to be a part of helping to get it done, regardless of whether my pride had been dented. If doing the job in the first place was mostly about me or how I might look to others in the organization, then yeah, the incentive to help would be gone. I'm not saying it's wrong to lead in a volunteer position in order to gain some accolades--we all like those positive strokes sometimes, but if it was more about serving the cause, I'd be the best possible support/worker no matter who was leading. Sorry for the public embarrassment though. That really stinks! :grouphug:

This is probably a really good way of describing what happened, though the obsessive part of it worries me. Does one really suddenly "get over" that sort of thing? Can you really go from talking to someone that much (even about professional things) to not talking to them and actually not miss them? :001_unsure: He really doesn't seem to miss it. In my mind though, I don't see how he could possibly not miss her. :confused:

Perhaps this is the solution I've been looking for! :tongue_smilie: