Amy in NH
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Posts posted by Amy in NH
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When we hit acne years we switched out all our colored towels for white.
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I'd give them a hug and tell them that even when they don't like or love me I still love them, and even when I don't like what they've done or said I still love them.
Then I might try to help them find other words. "I understand you're angry/frustrated/upset with me because you didn't get your way."
Eventually they learn a better vocabulary to express themselves, and also that emotional jabs won't affect your behavior toward them.
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How do you parent a child who thinks rules are optional? Or who looks for all the loopholes? Honestly I'm exhausted. Consequences don't work with this child.
Here is our current issue (among many).
We recently enacted a rule that says no laptops in bedrooms. All electronics (phones etc) must be out of rooms by 9 pm. So Friday, child was in his room on both laptop & phone at 10. Lost both Saturday. This morning his phone is on his bed. When I ask him why (knowing it was put in the classroom at 9 last night) he tells me he got it at 2am and wasn't breaking the rules because it was morning. He know we don't want them in their rooms while they are sleeping, we've talked about that but since we just said "till morning" and technically 2am is morning he argued that he didn't break the rules. Then it turned into my fault he couldn't sleep.
I could give nonstop examples but this is our entire life. Him spending his days ignoring our rules and then when caught telling us all the reasons he didn't break them, telling us he didn't understand the rules, or telling us the rule is rediculous and it shouldn't be a rule.
What can we do? My husband is perfectly content going around and around with him. I'm exhausted and want to do something drastic but do won't let me.
It sounds to me like somewhere (in toddlerhood?) he learned that rules are optional, boundaries can be pushed, and arguing works to help him get his way, because someone gave in to him a few too many times or didn't follow through on logical consequences.
For this particular problem: Put Qustodio on all the devices and set the time restrictions.
For other problems: Only a few rules (choose your battles), and make sure they are very clearly defined.
No arguments when a rule is broken. Punishment is swift, severe, and dispassionate.
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I'd also like to be added
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Please address the thyroid before trying anything more invasive.
Also, I believe there is someone on this forum whose child was super small until they took him or her off gluten just to see if it would help. The child shot up in height in such an obvious way that there was no doubt that gluten had been an undiagnosed problem.
I know someone with multiple kids with confirmed celiac diagnoses. One kid disproved of celiac had multiple medical problems including growth which essentially stopped between 3-5yo. Mom took him off gluten on a whim around age 8, and all medical problems resolved including growth. Kid is now a slightly short teen for his age, but within normal bounds. If you have a history of celiac in your family, I'd definitely try this before resorting to drugs.
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2) An exam would solve the problem at the colleges but it's not going to solve the problem of kids who are supposedly high school graduates who aren't even prepared for remedial CC. Where do they go? Private tutors? Those cost money and someone who can't succeed in remedial classes probably isn't making the kind of money to afford them. GED classes? But they have a diploma. Self-education? Sure, but only practically attained by the extremely ambitious.
They really don't have a diploma. A homeschool diploma is only worth the paper it's printed on. Public and some private school diplomas have actual value because those schools are accredited by independent agencies which verify and therefore guarantee a level of rigor.
So, yes, adult education/GED courses would best serve those students "graduating" from home ed programs with a substandard education.
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My issue is that these students are underprepared not just for university, but for CC. Students who are technically high school graduates and place into arithmetic or pre-algebra at a CC have an incredibly low rate of success both at continuing to the next year and at graduating in general, and a big reason is because they are so far behind that they are looking at semesters of remediation before proceeding to collegiate classes and then running out of financial aid eligibility before graduation. This is a subject of nationwide discussion among university educators.
Furthermore, CC remedial classes used to be more basic, but now tend to assume that a student has seen algebra and geometry, but just not mastered it. They aren't well suited for an initial exposure as they move much too rapidly for that. Some bright students can make the leap, but most can't.
ETA: Btw, the only real modification that would stop this would be refusing to accept their fabricated transcripts at face value. And yes, they are fabricated. They are getting admitted because they have transcripts that say that they passed two years of algebra and one of geometry with certain grades, but multiple students have told me in confidentiality that they never studied those and their parent just downloaded a transcript. So we could require extra documentation from homeschool students that isn't required from general admission students, but that tends to raise hackles as well and doesn't address the larger issue with the spreading myth of "anything is better than PS"
My homeschool-graduate university student was required to take SAT subject tests in math, chemistry, and physics. They additionally had 30 college credits from DE they took over the course of their high school career. We didn't blink twice at the expectation of proof of rigor in our home ed program.
IMO, the college you are referencing needs to set higher expectations. But the fact is that many schools are willing to take any warm body that will pay tuition. That is not a homeschool fail.
But to answer the op, yes I am concerned because I think this lackadaisical attitude of many parents toward a home education will eventually lead to onerous regulations for all of us.
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I love planet fitness. I wish there were one near me so I could afford a gym membership.
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I got policies on each of my kids when they were born. ~$200/yr for 10-15 years for ~$20,000 policy.
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They have not decided whether or not there will be a Series 5.
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What a strange ending.
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On pbs.org at 7:00pm EST tonight instead of 9:00pm like the previous two weeks. Thanks go to dd for alerting me to the time change!
Has anyone cheated and watched the illegal online upload earlier this week? (Not me) -
My 19yo is on expanded Medicaid through ACA. We had got stop claiming her as a dependent for that to be a possibility. Her job doesn't give full time hours, and pay is lousy, so she qualifies.
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Oh my word, yes! We have a local homeschool group, where parents hire teachers to teach specific classes (so not a co-op). But the last couple of years they started offering a three, and then four day a week, full day offering. The parents call themselves homeschoolers, but I'm thinking "um, you're private schoolers! Just with an extra day off!" I mean they don't teach anything. They have a teacher who controls every single class. I haven't figured out how that works out as homeschooling really....
In NH that would be an illegal unapproved private school, and there are some here.
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Confession: I once had three nice location-related items. One was a mug from a prestigious college; the others were more like home decor or collectors items based on different states or cities. I came by them in various ways that did not make them precious to me, and I really did not know what to do with them. I suppose I could have tried to sell them online, but I didn't want the hassle. I can't imagine anyone nearby wanting them because the places they represented were unrelated and far away; it didn't make sense to send them to goodwill. So I mailed each item to a random person in the area of origin (ie. a random student at prestigious-college got an anonymous gift mug in the mail, etc.). I still get a good chuckle thinking about their potential perplexity. :D I figure someone living in that location would be more likely to either want or know someone who would want the nice collectable item. Or maybe they just threw it away. Who knows?
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The sister also anticipated the therapist John would use, killed her, and assumed her persona. Same person who Culverton gave the paper he took from his daughter. Same person who was John's bus woman.
She is also the one who used Moriarty's image along with the "miss me?" notes. It wasn't a threat from Moriarty at all.
Perhaps she was in league with him? Maybe he was her pawn? Maybe they have nothing to do with each other, but they just have similar tactics?
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That wasn't the therapist.
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It was hard to look at nmoira's posts without some sadness.
Anyone know how her family is doing?
:(
Made me miss Doran, too.
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In at least one trailer for Series 4 I've seen a house exploding. I had been wondering if that was Sherlock's parents house. I need to go back to His Last Vow to get a better look at the house, but it seems even more likely now.
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Toward the end I started to think the "daughter" was the woman on the bus. I had plans to go back and check after the episode, but now I don't have to. Yikes.
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Discuss at your own risk.
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Salt. They both have a lot of salt in them.
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Well that is a good point. Since they are doing their own laundry now. However there are three hampers in the laundry room.
Time for them to get their own to keep in their room.
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Yep, had that earlier this week. At least it seemed only to last a couple days. With a lot of self-care I feel a lot better today. I hope you get well quickly!
I am afraid of nuclear war
in The Chat Board
Posted
People with nuclear codes have accidentally leaked their own account passwords this week.
I have heard language about ignoring nuclear nonproliferation treaties, among others. Also language reversing 50 years of national diplomatic policy, and provocations to other major superpowers.
I also grew up in the 1980s.
These are scary times.
:(