My oldest will be 6 in Sept, so I'm sure my opinion doesn't matter to you, but... Oh goody! It's the "more experienced parents are doing it, so it's okay for you too!" argument. :tongue_smilie: No thanks. I've already opted out of a LOT of things other parents are doing. The fact that they've been parenting longer than I have is, frankly, irrelevant.

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Neglect? No, probably not. Neglect has to do with not meeting a child's needs, and the story doesn't suggest that. Reckless endangerment? Could be. But I'd need a lot more detail before forming an opinion. Ugh. Add "Does your family own a python?" to my list of questions to ask a parent before I let my kids go over to a new friend's house. (So far they're young enough that I go with them at least the first few times, but I know someday that won't be the case.)

I posted a poll version of this question HERE, and the results so far are interesting to me. At the moment the results are evenly split, while the national rate is thought to be much higher than 50%. I hope others will answer so that we can get a better representation of WTM forum participants. This article suggests that parents with homes rich in intellectual stimulation are less likely to spank their children. I'm not sure I agree with the possible conclusion/interpretation suggested by one of the study authors: he thinks that children in more intellectually stimulating homes work out behavior issues more readily. However, the results are interesting in light of the fact that homeschooling homes are nothing if not intellectually stimulating!

As an adult who was spanked as a child, I can tell you that connotation meant nothing to me. I was being hit. Period.

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I thought a poll might be helpful, since some may wish to be anonymous.

Thanks for this link. But just a heads up: the 10 second commercial in front of the first episode I clicked on was not kid-friendly. :blink: (Very brief shots of simulated adult spanking and implied sex.)

I grew up on the West Coast and went to school on the East Coast, where I now live. But I lived in the Midwest for 4 years after grad school, and I'd move back in a heartbeat if I had the opportunity! :D

As another poster mentioned, this has little to do with where you live. The percentage of parents who spank is very high, across the country. It wouldn't surprise me, however, if there are regional differences in how willing parents are to talk about it. For example, I wonder if spanking is more openly discussed in states that still allow corporal punishment in schools. From a 1995 Boston Globe article: I can't speak to the accuracy of these specific statistics, but they seem to be in line with the rate of ~90% reported in many studies. But I'm certainly with all of you who have a hard time resisting hitting. It was done to me, and a subconscious part my brain still believes it is the right way to handle extremely frustrating situations involving my children. (Oddly, I never have an urge to hit others' children, or to hit adults. Just my own kids.) One of my goals is for my children not to feel the same way when handling behavior problems with their own children.

I was spanked as a child, as was my husband. Spanking is not a part of our disciplinary toolbox. I can't reconcile the hypocrisy of hitting my children as punishment with my responsibility to teach them not to hit others. I've discussed it with my father, and he protests, "But we didn't spank that often!" Perhaps not, but I remember it vividly. It has a prominent place in my childhood memories. That isn't how I want my children to remember their parents. For my family, I'm confident that there are always non-violent alternatives.

I think the deleted post above contained a mention of the CM discussion forum at Simply Charlotte Mason. Looks like a useful place. SCM Community Forum

Ah, thanks for the correction. I didn't realize it might vary so much from place to place! :blush:

Ah, but the method failure is only 2% per year. It is the user failure that causes all the problems. ;) My dad, father of 6, is one of those skeptics. I've told him that if it failed that many times, he probably should have taken it upon himself to sign himself and my mom up for a refresher course! :lol:

I rarely share this much online, but I will this time. My DH has "laid down the law." I was more shocked by his firmness than anything else. Wasn't this something we should discuss, and work together until we came to a consensus? But it would have been dishonest for him to give me false hope. He's really and truly done. I needed to deal with that, and prolonging the conflict wasn't helpful to me. OTOH, neither of us has done anything permanent to prevent another conception. I'm not interested in surgical sterilization, and the IUD didn't work out so well. He plans to have a vasectomy when he gets around to it. If NFP fails despite my very careful following of the rules for avoiding conception, he'll have to live with it.

Sure we talked about it. But until you have children, you don't really know what you've signed up for, kwim? I can't hold my husband to an agreement he made before marriage, knowing that his perspective now has changed based on his experiences as a parent.

:grouphug: I feel for you so much. Cry as much as you need to. Find sympathetic ears, or continue to pour it out here. I gave it time, and it did lessen. Around ovulation my heart still aches, but the rest of the time I'm okay. I try to focus on the positives of sticking with just two kids, and that helps too. I remind myself that I'm taking care of my husband and our marriage by not trying to force him to go beyond his comfort level.

The posts are here: https://www.sonlight-forums.com/forumdisplay.php?f=54 You have to be registered (free) and logged in to see this forum. (Most forums are for paying customers, but this one isn't.)

Hot water heaters and furnaces are not optional under housing code, but AC is. Homes can and would be sold without AC if this legislation goes into effect. It would be a piece of cake to sell the window units privately to the buyer. And on the bright side, radiator-type heating systems are quite energy efficient. They're probably Energy Star compliant even if they're not officially certified, so you probably wouldn't have to replace it. Though I don't believe this legislation is particularly well thought out, and I hope it fails to pass the Senate, I have to be realistic too. While it is unfortunate that we might be required to put a little more money into our homes before selling them, in my opinion that's just the way the cookie crumbles. I'll probably be spending cash on other things in order to prepare the house for sale, and this may have to be budgeted for as well. No one ever said owning a home was going to be hassle- or expense-free!

I can't see how the government could prevent private sales of used appliances, so this legislation probably won't have the intended effect, except on new home building. If this passes, houses will be sold without the refrigerator, oven, dishwasher, washer, and dryer, unless of course they're already Energy Star certified. Sellers and buyers will likely negotiate private sales for these items to get around the problem of the inspection. Sellers might have to worry about water heaters, furnaces, and AC units. Of those, AC is the only one that is likely to mean big bucks for replacement. I imagine sellers might have to suck it up and buy new furnaces and water heaters since those can't be considered optional, but those are relatively small expenses. Again, the cheapest solution for the AC might be to detach the outdoor unit and sell the house as-is, with a private sale of the AC unit occurring separately.

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Some toddlers are grazers rather than 3 meals/day eaters. Offering more frequent snacks or small meals might make you feel more comfortable with taking food away as soon as he starts throwing it.

:iagree: Yeah, what she said!

That's horrible! Contact your local postmaster, and then figure out how to report it even higher up (try usps.com and look for contact info). Theft of mail is an extremely serious offense. This is likely an employee or contractor, and whoever it is needs to be stopped.