Dd took a semester of Japanese and would have done more if she had time. The professor seems like a lovely person. I remember meeting her way back at an open house. I believe they have regular trips to Japan, too. There are exchange students from Japan and there might be related special interest housing.

Always check out the department your DC is interested in since my experience is limited to one. FYI, if you visit and interview, they may increase scholarship awards. They also used to send you home with a carrot cake if you scheduled a personal tour. You also have to like the smell of chocolate and not mind farm smells too much. Chocolate in the morning, cow smell in the afternoon. It's near Hershey and farmland.

I remember asking you about it more than for years ago, knowing you lived in the general area. Your positive feedback helped since I hadn't heard of it before. See how nice people in cyber space can change lives, too?!!

I think CTCL helped me conceptualize what I want in a college. It just gave me ideas to think about and prioritize in my search for my next DD. I'll add another school that's not a CTCL college but was for DD: Elizabethtown College in PA. In my experience in a certain program at least, it takes average bright kids, gives them a very helpful amount of merit aid, and trains them very well in mastering the body of knowledge of their field, including current research, conducting their own research, writing, internships, and provides opportunities to serve the community. My DD has been attending professional conferences and has had internship-like experiences since freshman year. She was invited to present a paper at a tiny conference and has had her own work cited in a professional paper, both not in her specialization but a related field. She has also participated long-term in research studies outside of her program to bring in her area of specialization. Members of her program will present their research findings at a major conference. All of this for a normal bright kid with a learning disability, and only because she had involved professors who provided the right support and opportunities in a field that she loves. She was not like one of the shining stars here. We had to make a lot of compromises as we hs'd hs, due to her medical and learning needs. She had a lot of the same struggles that kids here have, finding a math program that worked, getting through what should have been a normal amount of work in a day, having to limit writing and just reading or watching TC courses, etc. I think she's amazing for her what she's accomplished, her work ethic, her kindness, and heart for service, the things that matter to me.

This was our experience, too. Before registering for the local cc and later the local uni for summer classes, both of them required her to provide an approval form signed by her current uni showing they would grant credit for the specific class. It was an extra step but much better than finding out after the fact that a course wouldn't be accepted.

Every college is different. Some offer free services with a physician, sometimes the doctor is there with very limited hours, some charge. There's a lot of variation. My DD's college does not have a student health facility like many colleges do. She has to go to a nearby medical office that welcomes the students and a college liaison is employed there. Unfortunately, we also have an HMO that does not have providers anywhere near DD's college so we opted to pay for a student health plan. She wasn't that far away but has a history of medical problems, so I needed to make sure she could be seen if anything came up. It's been somewhat difficult and expensive.

This has been a very long road and I remember your very first posts as you tried to figure out what could be going on. So much has happened since then. I'm not on the boards very much these days so I'm glad I caught your update. I'll be keeping you and your dd in my thoughts and prayers for a successful surgery. Please continue to update and keep us informed about anything you need.

OP, I almost could have written your post. We are in the same boat, with DD's who have very similar scores after going into the PSAT with zero prep. My DD has even more of a split, with very high CR and average math. She is now diligently prepping for the math. Our in-state public options are pricey as well as competitive. So we are also looking for less competitive private colleges with big merit awards or low cost out-of-state public schools in places like South Dakota and Alabama. I originally started out with a list like yours of prestigious liberal arts colleges. Now I'm trying to remember I had a rather good UG experience at a large, middle ranking state flagship where I got a lot of personalized attention because I was a bright, hardworker, and sought out professors for help and ideas. It did its job because I got into a "public ivy" for grad school on a fellowship. Have you thought about public unis in Maine? The university of Maine has flagship price match program for stronger students that includes CT. There are also others with lower out of state tuition and scholarships. Wishing the OP's DD the best. I'm going to be following here to get ideas....

This is a really nice idea.

I appreciate all these replies. Thanks to everyone!

This sounds very familiar.

You're absolutely right. I'm the one who handles money...and medical stuff. I let dh and even the kids know to be careful, but I worry about handing over the reins. Dh is awesome with coming up with good plans but he can never carry them out. It's true. He knows it since we recently had a talk about it. I do feel very burdened. But, sadly, I see making this a team effort potentially more stress inducing. And the burden of bearing the medical stuff has been very hard. Thankfully, we really haven't had major issues in the last year. Thank you for thinking of me this way and for being so perceptive. I just don't have a good solution. I am a person who thinks ahead too much and dh doesn't at all.

Christmas without gifts would be really something to appreciate.

Amen, sister!

Big hugs and good wishes for you, too.

I'm sorry to hear all this and for all you've been going through. I hope some peace and joy comes your way this season!

I am a Christian so I should be joyfully awaiting Christmas, right? But the way it's celebrated feels all about money and I am hurting money-wise right now, probably more in my mind than in reality, though. We'll manage somehow. I just had to take a chunk out of my emergency account and use the last of the college account my grandfather set up for DD to pay her last semester of college. I should be celebrating that feat but instead I'm stressing out, especially because her old, faithful laptop finally reached it's last byte. That will also have to be replaced soon before the start of next semester. And a dear friend passed away so I put something in for those needs. That's something I wouldn't want to do differently. And in my grief, I wasn't paying attention and accidentally paid my full home and auto insurance balance instead of the regular payment, putting it on a credit card I usually pay off every month. I'm also the same person who complained last week about unknowingly showing up at a charity concert where I unexpectedly had to shell out big bucks for tickets to see DD play, when I thought it was a free church-related concert. All of this financial strain is making me forget the true meaning of Christmas and feel overwhelmed about stupid money, worse than I ever have before. I told my family not to spend money on Christmas for me but they like to give me presents. They have simple requests and are already taken care of for the most part, so I'm not feeling like I have to buy more. It's just the burden of expenses right now is sucking the joy of Christmas right out of me. Am I alone in this? I can't be.

Every pencil sharpener I ever owned was carp. Then last year for Christmas, I bought myself the most wonderful pencil sharpener ever. I though it would last forever and I could leave it in my will to a very special person. But DD just tried to sharpen a crayon and now it won't work. She wants to boil it to release the wax. But I'm cooking for a party tonight. Plus I don't want to destry it that was if it can still be saved. Any ideas? It's a Carl Angel 5, recommended here. A very sad day.

All of these replies are making me feel warm and fuzzy. Thank you, one and all!!!!

The main part of the show was done by professionals and it was nice that DD was among the students chosen to play. Unfortunately, the stage got crowded when the students were brought in and DD was seated behind a speaker so we could not see her at all. 🙠I ran into another mom whose DS was also invited to play. He is in another school but they also had to idea what it was about and how pricey the tickets were. So, yeah, it wasn't just me.

My dh never worries about money and doesn't pay the bills. He is a great guy and balances me out, but was fortunate to have been an only child to well off parents and can't relate to how freaked out I can get about money.

Exactly. And I get caught in a spiral of thinking about how much food that $120 would buy and what I can give up to make up for the loss.

I think you are doing a truly admirable job in an impossible situation. Hugs. Your posts have always made me believe you are a wonderful person, besides how you are handling this.

DD was asked by her orchestra teacher to play in a concert on short notice and no details were given. I thought it was a church related event. When we got to the venue, not a church but an arts center, we realized that we had to buy tickets. Ugh. While dh stood in line to buy tickets, I ran to the ladies room with little DD. I rushed and didn't pay attention and sat on a wet toilet seat. Then I dried myself and tried not to think about what diseases I just contracted. When we got out I asked dh how much the tickets cost, and he told me that I didn't want to know. I pushed and he admitted they cost $120. I must have yelled, "Can we return them?!!" because I realized people were looking at me with wide eyes. I walked over to the wall and started crying and I'm not a crier as a rule. Christmas is not the best time to blow $120 and I was already grossed out because of the toilet seat. Dh tried to console me and led me away from the wall and through the door into the theater where we ran into our new pastor. The last time I saw him, I made a terrible impression and completely embarrassed myself, so seeing him made me cry more. He held my hands and asked why I was so upset. He was sweet and gentle and assured me that the money was a contribution to a very good cause, but my responses made me feel even more ridiculous. (I used to feel I could handle any situation with finesse but now I just bumble around awkwardly.) It wasn't until midway through the show that announcements were made I realized that this was a fundraiser for a very good cause that would potentially benefit someone dear to me. But I still feel I lost control and made myself look really foolish. And my kind pastor will probably be worried that our financial situation is worse than it is. So that was my Saturday night.

First day of pre-treating, soaking, and a long, hot cycle did not work. I will repeat today. High fever in the house so I haven't gone shopping for special supplies yet.