The advantage for us is not needing to drive to campus. (An online DE class would be more of a possibility.) Our schedule is tight. Our commutes are long enough. We don't need to add more driving. Beyond that, there is more flexibility and more grace. An oops with an AP class doesn't carry the long-term repercussions of an oops with a DE class. That DE grade will stay on the record forever. AP feels more transitional for us. It's a good fit for right now. My daughter takes AP classes when they are the best fit of the available options. She is not trying to accrue college credit. That is only a bonus. If she ends up not doing well on the AP exam, we'll still be glad she took the class. If she can't find a testing spot, she will take the SAT II, if there is one. Actually an AP class is also good prep for the SAT Subjects tests. She'll probably take those whether or not she takes the AP Exam. If the AP Exam isn't an option she might possibly take the CLEP, if there is a reason. At this point, I expect she will only have a handful of APs and a couple DE classes. Time will tell... (Edited to add left out word.)

Context. There is struggling and making it to the top. There is struggling and drowning anyway. Both are struggles, but the outcomes are very different. I wouldn't compare the two, but that's just me. YMMV.

The difference being that he doesn't.

This was added after I quoted, so I want to reiterate that I am not saying superstars have no challenges or problems. All students deserve empathy. Again, context.

Again, what I am saying is to consider context. I am not saying superstars all have idealic lives. Context, context, context. That is my main point.

I get that. I have one of those students. I still think she has it easier than if things were different. So does she. Does she have it easy? No. Does she have it easier than many, many others? Yes. A thousand times yes.

Ah ha! Common ground! I wrote my response before I read this post. We both used a swimming analogy. :cheers2:

I don't think anyone is saying that superstar students have it easy. I envision it as being on a continuum. I do think that overall superstar students have it easier. They often choose to go above and beyond. To be challenged. If they wanted to, they could kick back, relax, and float through school and much of life. They might not get as far if they did that, but they would get by. Compare that to the child that has to fight tooth and nail just to scrape by. These students may well face a lifetime of fighting tooth and nail just to survive. The idea of kicking back and floating would result in sinking and drowning - guaranteed. Not every parent of a superstar student feels the same way or has the same perspective. Not all superstar students perceive their lives as a challenge and a struggle comparable to those of truly struggling students. There is the struggle of appropriate challenge and there is the struggle of academic survival. It's a swim meet compared to swimming to save your life. I can only speak for myself, but I have serious doubts about that. I can only say it would be of little comfort to me. As always, YMMV.

My experience has been different. I have no idea what others feel. All average kids don't feel the same. All gifted kids don't feel the same. All struggling kids don't feel the same. I can only imagine what I would feel like in another person's situation, with the given genetics and life experiences. I can try to gauge feelings by words and reactions, but I can't actually know enough to compare feelings. Besides - what purpose would that serve? Does the struggle need to be the same for both to be valid? What I imagine is this: Attending an elite invite-only exam at 14 years old and getting a 0 probably feels different than getting a single digit on the ACT as a junior or senior in high school, especially when that student is trying hard to get to college. It probably also feels different if the former comes from a family with resources and connections and the latter... well, let's just say the latter doesn't... Take two different students and put them in the above situations. Then, yet another two students. Again, feelings and reactions will vary. Different students in the same situations won't always react the same. How each will feel is anyone's guess. Students in either situation could bounce back, regroup, study with a renewed determination, and succeed the second go 'round. Perhaps they both might. On the other hand, either or both could give up on life entirely. There are differences, however. One student has an extensive safety net of support. That same student also has a past of exuberant successes and triumphs. The other student doesn't. In the dark moments that safety net and those past glories may not matter, but in the days after they might make a big difference. Which student is guaranteed a life of happiness and success? Neither. Statistically, one sure does seem to have better odds... A superstar student is by definition one that is overall succeeding at glorious heights, correct? This is not high IQ, low functioning. Or average IQ, average achievements. Or struggling with the basics. Perhaps I've misunderstood, but in my mind a bump in the road or an obstacle in the path of success is quite different than trudging through a vast jungle blindfolded and alone on a path possibly leading right back to the dark starting line. Thus my point up-thread about thinking who the thread is about. What is the context? The feelings of students in all situations are valid. They don't need to be equal to be valid. It is, however, important to remember that the struggle of one won't necessarily comfort the other. As always, YMMV.

What wonderful news!!! Congrats to you both!!!

Just adding my thanks. Thanks for starting the thread, Rose! I'll be waiting for the sequel... :toetap05:

How we started 9th grade is very different than where we are halfway through. I have no idea where we'll be by May, but we are getting more nontraditional by the week. Lots of extra-curricular commitments (academic and otherwise) make a 8-4 M-F type schedule impossible. For some subjects we're reverting back to a more Charlotte Mason approach. (Some days I worry it verges on unschooling... :ph34r: ) For the most part I'm just watching and trying to figure out how to document everything. I was so glad to see this thread! Never in a million years did I think our high school years would veer so far from the path I had envisioned... Hmm....on second thought....maybe they are coming back to the path I had envisioned long, long ago before the panic set in...

Change that to not immediately visible. I thought she was finished growing, but as soon as I saw her this morning, I knew. No change in height for months and months. A year or more maybe? Then this spurt. She is now officially taller than I am. This will make it much more difficult to feel authoritative.... :sneaky2: I'm pretty sure I saw a gleeful smirk looking down at me this morning... :glare: It is a good visible reminder of the incredible energy growth takes.

Recently after the worst of the storm, my dd had a snack. It was like a switch flipped. She said in her usual voice, "When did I eat last? Maybe that's what happened." It was obviously as upsetting to her as it was to the rest of the family. (And quite possibly the neighbors... :blushing: ) Sleep too. It's like watching a toddler go through a growth spurt, only it's not physically visible. That brain is working overtime... :zombie:

*happy tears* Such wonderful news!!!

:hurray: Word problems can be brutes! :boxing_smiley:

I'm not sure I understand. Doesn't someone having a rough spell need some compassion no matter where the post is? ETA: Maybe we are referring to different type of posts.

:laugh: :smilielol5: :cheers2:

Some days boarding school sounds like a really, really good option...

I agree that it's not all about giftedness. It is not the only factor at play, nor is it the only answer. Finding other gifted kids to befriend is sometimes not the answer at all.

:grouphug: Two things from the board have come to my mind lately. Someone posted (I think last year) that her theme song for college application time was "Wake Me Up" (Wake me up when it's all over...when I'm wiser and I'm older...) and just keep swimming. I don't want to wish these years away, but sometimes I wish I had a crystal ball to reassure me that it would all turn out OK in the end. There have been many days when I truly wonder... Just keep swimming...

I guess in my mind it would be sufficient to say, "I'm sorry I can't help. I'll give the thread a bump and wish you the best!" Or even "Our experience was different, so I'm no help, but I'll give the thread a bump and wish you the best!" I think, too, it depends on context. Is the poster (general, not this thread) asking for general experience with the program or topic to see if their family's experience is typical? Or is the poster literally at wit's end and in total despair ready to give up with feelings of total and complete failure?

Oh I agree! I think those types of posts are vital! What I was referring to is when someone posts about a student struggling with a topic or subject or curriculum and there are almost immediately posts about how easy it was for other students. Or worse, yet, how easy it was for a student who was years younger. I'm not sure what purpose those posts serve. They don't seem supportive. They seem to be closer to to kicking someone while they're down... Posts like this: "Well, I'll be of no help here. My kid did that at a younger age and thought it was the simplest thing ever. Sorry I'm no help. Good luck with that!" Not that a parent can't be beaming with pride and wanting to share it. It's just that perhaps a different thread would be better. I hope that makes sense.

I think that's the key. Before we hit submit, ask ourselves if we are being supportive. Is this thread about us or about them? Does my post follow suit? Is it about my student's accomplishments and triumphs or about their students' struggles and disappointments? Surely there is room enough of the board for both kind of posts -usually in different threads.

Isn't that true for many across the board, with all types of students? I would hazard a guess that's why we're here. Most homeschoolers I've had contact with in multiple states are radical unschoolers. This forum is the only place I can be open about a broad spectrum of homeschooling issues. (Many thanks to those who make it possible and to those who so willingly share.)