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Mommy22alyns

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Posts posted by Mommy22alyns

    Would you feel insulted?

    in The Chat Board

    Posted

    I assume you're still at the gym because it's the best one available to you. You're there for the coaches and/or facilities, and it would be great if you also clicked with the other families, but apparently you don't. If you've put in effort to be friendly and supportive to them for 3 seasons (years?), and you're feeling resentful because they aren't responding, then you need to make a choice. Either continue what you're doing because that's who you are, or stop putting forth the effort to support those who do not support you. Whatever you decide, you need to stop expecting anything from these people. Your expectations will continue to go unmet, and you will continue to struggle with resentment and anger toward them.

     

    I'm sorry you don't feel liked or accepted at a place where you spend so much time and invest so much energy. It's hard, and it stinks that they've chosen not to reciprocate. But you'll drive yourself crazy if you keep doing things with the expectation that one of these days they'll respond.

     

    (I am assuming that your read on the situation is correct--it's also possible that they're reaching out in ways that you aren't seeing or feeling for one reason or another, and that they sit around chatting about why *you* don't seem to like *them*.)

     

     

    It's the only one available to us, unfortunately.  We drive 40 minutes and any other gym would be over an hour.  It's already a huge challenge.  Rebecca eats, sleeps, and breathes gymnastics and it would be flat-out devastating to her to quit.

    Would you feel insulted?

    in The Chat Board

    Posted

    My guess is that you are more offended by this because of the history (you said she's slighted your daughter previously, though you didn't explain how).  If someone else had been the one to accidentally use the wrong Old Testament name that starts with R, would it feel as hurtful?

     

    I try to give people the benefit of the doubt in situations like that, because I have plenty of moments where my brain seems to fall asleep on the job. ;)  I know it can be harder when it's someone you already think doesn't like your daughter, but this could very well simply be a mistake and not an intentional slight.

     

     

    If it was another girl in her training group at the gym, yes, I would still be hurt.

     

    We're probably extra sensitive because none of us feel liked or accepted at the gym.  We've been there for 3 competition seasons.  I'm also hurt because we always, always cheer enthusiastically for the other girls in her group, but I don't feel like anyone else in the group cares a bit about us, and on top of that, they can't remember her name?

    Would you feel insulted?

    in The Chat Board

    Posted

    ODD is a competitive gymnast, and her training group is very small.  When they competed last fall, there were only 6 girls in her group.  Now there are only 4, including her.

     

    One of the other moms saw DD at the gymnastics banquet and called her Rachel.  She didn't even know my kid's name.  We make it a point to at least know all the girls in the training group by name, and we cheer for all of them at every meet.

     

    This same mom has slighted ODD in the past, so this just adds on to it.

     

    I don't expect everyone to be perfect or anything, but seriously.  You can't remember the names of 3 other girls?

     

    I should also add that our girls spend around 20 hours in the gym together every week.

    Red hands from over-washing (OCD Related)

    in The Chat Board

    Posted

    Aquaphor did little for my over-washer's cracked and bleeding hands and the greasy feeling had him wanting to wash MORE. We had better results from O'Keeffe's Working Hands Cream.

     

     

    This is the only thing that has worked for Rebecca.  It wasn't so much over-washing for her, but she would get dry, cracked, bleeding, rough, and red every winter, and only a little less so in the summer.  We tried everything under the sun.  She puts on Working Hands every single night and puts cotton gloves on, and her hands are completely normal.  As previously noted, this lotion can sting, so maybe try to get them healed enough with Aquaphor or something, but we literally did try everything.

    Update Post 1... Did anyone stop having children before they thought they were ready...

    in The Chat Board

    Posted

    Also, there is this - two weeks from tomorrow we are leaving for a 9 day trip hitting the Badlands, caverns, Mt. Rushmore, the planetarium in Gillette, WY, etc. and not only do I not have to worry about a stroller, car seat, diaper bag, entertainment, a pack N play for the motels and the like, but these boys will pack their own bags and then pack the van for me as well. They'll carry it all up to the rooms too.

     

    It is nice to travel without littles.

     

     

    Oh yes, and then you get to the point where you and DH can go run an errand and just leave the kids at home!!

    Update Post 1... Did anyone stop having children before they thought they were ready...

    in The Chat Board

    Posted

    I am so sorry for your loss.   :grouphug:

     

     

    DH always wanted 2 kids; I kind of wanted to go for 3.  I had a perfectly healthy and normal first pregnancy and delivery, and then when I got pregnant with Sylvia, we got knocked for a loop at my 20 week ultrasound.  She had CPCs and I had complete placenta previa.  I remember thinking that if they told me one more bad thing, I would start crying.

     

    Luckily, the CPCs disappeared, but my placenta never moved, even though they thought it was moving.  At 32 weeks, I had a very severe bleed, barely made it to the hospital, and almost lost Sylvia/had to have an emergency C-section.  They stabilized us and I stayed on hospital bedrest for 4 weeks until they decided to deliver Sylvia.  Luckily, she was very healthy and didn't need any NICU time.

     

    At my checkup, they said I have about a 25-30% chance of recurrence of the placenta previa.  That really put a damper on us wanting more kids.  

     

    I also have severe depression and anxiety and I'm on a huge cocktail of medications just to function.  Add to that a precarious financial situation.

     

    As the years have gone by, I have made myself see all the good parts of being done having kids.  My girls are very close, and I love that they're only 2 years apart.  It would feel strange to have a huge age difference, and I would end up wanting to have another two kids just so they would have a sibling close in age.  I feel like I "handle" the girls better at their current ages than I did when they were younger.  

     

    Sometimes I feel like I don't want to "grow up" either.  If I always have young kids, I'm not getting older, right?

    Kids accessing (owning!) smartphones and having (largely) unsupervised internet-access

    in The Chat Board

    Posted

    My girls will not be getting smartphones anytime in the near future.  I have seen and heard plenty to make this decision.

     

    They do get a lot of freedom on the computer though - it's a huge screen and anything internet-linked is always accessed in the living room.  I do check up on their history.  They have proven themselves very trustworthy.

     

    The risk of radiation isn't even on my radar, honestly.

     

    I literally could not care less what other parents do re: smartphones, computer access, etc.  Not my kids, not my deal.

     

    Now to go back and read the thread.   :lurk5:

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