"It needs to be more sleek and slippery." My perfectionist is practicing cursive.

6 kids who use pencils. Two sharpened pencils in the house. Broken pencil sharpener. Send help. (Imagine I'm typing this in crayon.)

I am not sure I will ever be able to see Thomas videos without reading too much into SirTopham hat and the steamie vs. diesel class war.

Should I hide from the children on the front porch or in the bathroom? There's no chocolate involved, but wine will be after they're in bed!

Can someone please PM me the eyebrow shaving reason?!

I am thinking of running away and joining the circus, anyone want to join me?

Confession: sometimes I steal my daughter's slap bracelet so that I can play with it.

Making dandelion tea! We are so weird.

Here's another regional pronunciation question: Do you say "shone" so it rhymes with shown--or so it sounds like shawn?

I'm having red wine with my hamburger helper dinner. In my defense, it's a new "classy" flavor.

If I were to build another house, I would make a special pipe going into each bathroom through which I could send some noxious odor to make the occupant come out. This would be especially useful during kitchen clean-up and the start of school.

oo... ooo... witchy woman...

Is anything more disheartening than throwing in the towel and calling to order pizza...only to have no one answer and realize you need to cook after all?

Couldn't find any pajama pants to put on. Then I realized it's because I have been washing the same load of blankets for 4 days.

Going to sort though kids' toys today. A handful of kids + lots of grandparents and single aunts and uncles = enough toys for a daycare!

Love is handwashing your family's underwear. (We won't have a washing machine until next week.)

Love is handwashing your family's underwear. (We won't have a washing machine until next week.)

My husband is resisting my plan to establish a beagle farm.

And the bee's have found a Troll. This will be interesting. ;)

My baby cries unless he's touching me. Two weeks of either touching or crying. That's not normal.

I've done something to break my sewing machine, and I still have one full blanket and half of two others to finish. Plus Christmas pajamas. My second sewing machine isn't working. The third one is somewhere in the shed outside. I'm looking for a Christmas miracle.

I just put away 45 of the 47 books we had on our coffee table. But I swear we don't have a problem. We can stop reading any time.

Anxiety dream last night that I forgot to wrap any Christmas presents and had to do it at 3am Christmas morning.

Today's earworm: We Are Santa's Elves.

I wonder how much longer it will take for my children to realize I cut off more than a foot of my hair.