Hi everyone, DD-almost-16 recently took YouScience and it came up with all sorts of medical fields as best fits for her. The careers ranged from "Genetic Counselor" or "Nursing Instructor" to "Exercise Physiologist" and "OB-Gyn". It had never crossed my mind before for her to go into some sort of medicine, but it made perfect sense once she took the test. She's very outgoing and personable, as well as science-loving and sharp as a tack. She would be miserable as a scientist, though, and I had her take the YouScience test after I realized she was telling people she wanted to be a chemist. I'd like to help DD find some ways to explore these fields and build up some extracurriculars. My first thought was for her to volunteer at the local hospital, but they aren't taking any new volunteers due to COVID (though the ones that would be a bear to commute to are.... grrr). Any other ideas of how to explore medical fields and build her resume? Should I cross post this on Chat? Thanks, Emily

Maybe this is me, and I am a bit socially awkward, but I try to text people because I think it gives them more freedom to respond in their own time on their own terms. They see I'm thinking about them, but I'm not demanding them to respond quickly. But, then again, I'm pretty confident and don't take it personally when someone doesn't respond quickly.

My two oldest kids are doing precalculus in 9th, calculus BC in 10th, multivariable in 11th, and AP stats in 12th, with one or two AoPS classes thrown in on the side. Both are taking CS simultaneously: Python in early high school, AP CS A in 11th, and CS through a local college in 12th (Web Design and Data Structures). DS17 may take DiffEq through a college second semester this year. We'll see. I am monitoring for signs of burnout and frustration, but both like math and continue to freely do math competitions. Emily

That's on my todo list this week! DS17 and I made accounts last weekend. Emily

We went to Williamsburg and to Mystic Seaport Connecticut in summer 2021, and Mystic Seaport won hands down. DS9 loved it so much he asked to move there so we could be members and go all the time. He loved being able to furl a real sail while standing on the toe ropes since they had taken down the topmast from a boat that was being repaired and set it up in the playground. Emily

A friend of mine graduated early from Berkeley back in 2002 (MechE major). It was a major lift for him. He had grad school lined up and was ready to start. He now says that was the biggest mistake of his life and he would now go back and do a fourth year of courses in areas that interested him. He dropped out of grad school after a few years. He's successful now, manages a computer research company, married, four kids, etc, but he says he was so driven that he didn't stop to ask if he actually wanted to do what he was doing. Emily

I used to do this until a friend called me out on it and said it was weird. I usually did it because it felt like others were in conversation or otherwise busy and I didn't want to bother them. Later, I learned that it bothered them more to have someone leave without saying goodbye. As a corollary, I hate it when people come to classes or meetings late and then apologize for being late, causing much more disruption than if they had just walked in quietly, sat down, and listened. Emily

No kids are totally easy, but some kids are much easier than others. I have 5 kids. Four fairly easy, and one is an energy vacuum. I did not understand the work many of my friends do until my energy vacuum kid. And even he is much easier than many other kids (spectrum, ADHD, depression, etc.) Emily

UPDATE: Bought the LL Bean and hoodie in largest size (18) and it was both smallish and lighter weight than I had hoped. I am returning it and ordering the Carhartt one in XS adult. Emily

Hi all, DS17 doesn't have a debit or credit card yet. I think about needing to get him one whenever he does something big, like travel on his own to the other coast, and he's got to pay for everything in cash. Then, I conveniently forget until it is too late to get him one for his next adventure. What CC do you recommend for a responsible older teen? He has plans to travel to South America next summer, as well as doing trail crew at Philmont for two weeks. He'll be heading to college next fall. He has never had a "real" job, but he does earn about $200/month teaching piano, so he has a fairly sizable savings account. He only spends money on optics for birding. Recommendations? Emily

I was really skeptical about this, too, until my son showed me where it stated on the website that students were to self-report scores. This was at MIT, which requires scores.

Hi all, My first two kids are stellar testers. My third gets major test anxiety. She doesn't have generalized performance anxiety. For example, she auditions very well on violin and frequently is the first performer in recitals because the teacher wants the first performer to set the tone for confidence and excellence. But... she just sort of jams up when she takes tests. If she hits one question that is hard, she may forget how to do arithmetic, for example. She had a pop quiz at co-op yesterday and got a 50%, despite working hard in the class and diligently completing both the homework and separate notes. She has a placement test soon. What can I do to help her with testing anxiety? Emily

Thanks @matrips. I had been reading online but had not connected dots. Maybe I'm emotional? 🙂

Hi all, Thanks! Emily

When I was having difficulty with a class last year, I got another teacher to sit in and observe me. She kept a grid with columns for time, what I did, what the class did, and any insight. I did a lot to improve my teaching, and the master teacher's insight was really useful. In retrospect, I would have done that in the fall instead of late winter. It gave me insight into ways I was feeding bad behavior. By the end of spring, though, it was clear that there was exactly one kid who was causing all the chaos in my class. He was eventually expelled and my class was amazing after that: I'd grown as a teacher and the difficult child was gone. That said, I would recommend your friend get a third-party to take notes and see if she can find any patterns with student behavior or teacher behavior. It may even be that there is one person instigating all the problems and that the group problems may just be feeding off one person. (My problem kid was not homeschooled. My homeschooled kids were great. Actually, all my kids were great except for one.) Emily

OK, here's an LL Bean option: LL Bean Iron Works which is $99 and looks pretty similar to the Carhartt, but maybe not as water repellent and therefore more breathable. This is the kids' LL Bean Sherpa Lined Hoodie. Hmm, I thought I'd searched their site last night, but somehow I didn't see it. The sleeves aren't lined, though, and I think the Boden Sleeves were. I will check that. ETA: The Mini Boden Borg Hoodie has cotton-lined sleeves. Thanks!

We have quite a small bedroom, but we have an Ikea Poang and ottoman in our room by the window. The small chair is just right and is perfect for reading. We also got a bookshelf in our room during COVID when DH worked from home.

Hi boardies, A few years back DS10 got a hand-me-down Mini Boden hoodie that he literally wore every single day for two winters until he outgrew it and it was full of holes. I tried to replace it with a Target brand one that claimed to be a "sherpa-lined hoodie" but that weighed maybe half or less as much as the Mini Boden one. I actually tried to buy the Mini Boden one last winter, but it was back ordered until spring. I'd like to give him a replacement one this year that is as thick and high quality as the Mini Boden one, but DS10 wears 15/16 (super tall, somewhat stocky) and the Mini Boden one only does up to 13/14. I found this possible Carhartt alternative but am dragging my feet because it might be TOO thick. Do you know of a thick high-quality boys' hoodie you could recommend? --------------- UPDATE: Bought the LL Bean and hoodie in largest size (18) and it was both smallish and lighter weight than I had hoped. I am returning it and ordering the Carhartt one in XS adult. Emily

I think I'd wait 5-10 minutes and then send an email, especially if I was certain the person said they would call me.

It really helped me to have Dutch friends back when our kids were young and to make a habit of giving our kids real freedom with real consequences. Here are some examples: I don't tell my kids what they can or can't buy with their money, but I do not lend them money at the store to buy something if they didn't plan on it before. If they bring their money with them, they can buy whatever junk they want. My kids go places by themselves as soon as societally-reasonable. I make them draw a map and explain where they are going so they don't get lost. This gives them opportunities to make mistakes and fix them by themselves, thus developing self-confidence. They don't get a cell phone until they've been doing this for a long time. (My kids start going to the park alone around 8.) I encourage them to work for people outside the family early. Then, if they fail, the consequences are small, but they get feedback from outside the family. Emily

So, will talk with ds17 about applying to DH's university, which should be an easier acceptance given what I've seen of other faculty kids. He'll also look into places that give automatic National Merit money. I think he'll only apply to one such place, since they usually only give the money to students who listed their school as their first choice. Finally, he says he is totally happy to be an Applied Math major at UIUC. He's been talking with Machine Learning/AI types who have told him that Applied Math is almost a better choice than CS for his field. And it is the Engineering School, not the Arts and Sciences school, that's a hard lift at UIUC. He's got other exceptional math on his resume besides what I listed and took some abstract college math classes this summer. It was during the summer math that he solidified his desire to be more math-oriented as opposed to more applied. Emily

@Farrar, good point about the CS/Math discrepancy. DS17 reminds me that the UIUC alternative is "CS + Math", which is a CS alternative within the Arts and Sciences college. He says he's actually on the fence between applied math and CS, interest-wise. He also reminded me that he's applying early to UIUC and MIT, and thus will know if UIUC is a possibility before completing any other applications. Thanks, @MamaSprout, for the reminder about Rose Hulman. My sister almost went there and that might be an interesting place for DS. Not sure if it'd be a good fit since he's always lived in a city and moving to the country might shock the system. It might also be the change he's looking for. @bibiche, you are right about the faculty part, but DS is not applying to the school we are tied to (or he hasn't told me if he is). I think I know in *theory* how tough college admissions are, but they don't seem so from this end in some ways. For example, four kids from my son's math team went to MIT this year. Also, I work with kids at a top-10 college, and some of them must be much better on paper than in reality. 😉 (might delete this later) Emily

Hi all, DS17 continues to modify his college list; for example, today he asked if he should consider RIT and asked what I thought of Macalester. DS is an excellent candidate, IMO. He's a 4.0 student, has five 5s on APs so far, as well as two 4s. He went to state Science Fair as a sophomore and won $300 and has been on the math team for four years, advancing as an individual every year. He accompanies the school choir on piano and teaches piano lessons. He took Calculus as a sophomore at AoPS and got an A+, finished the CS APs last year and is taking two CS classes at a college this year. He took multi-variable calculus last year and taught himself R over the summer to analyze some eBird data. He loves birding and has an incredibly active eBird account. He is an Eagle Scout. He wants to study CS so he can go into Machine Learning and Artificial Intelligence. His list of schools so far includes MIT, University of Illinois (1st choice CS, safety Math), Carnegie Mellon, and Cornell (that eBird connection makes him really interested in it). We are in-state for U of I. Any ideas of places that he should be looking into that I should bring up to him? Thanks, Emily

This is such an interesting thread! I tend towards process goals instead of product goals. So, I want my kids to learn time management: get things done in the time required, don't procrastinate, recognize the difference between working and pretending to work (a big problem I observe with college kids). I want them to pursue excellence, to work hard, and to care. I encourage passionate goals, so when my son took up birding, I drove him long distances to go to birding outings and conferences. When my daughter got into writing, I began reading modern young adult novels (not my favorite genre) so that I could talk with her about them. I can't tell you how many violin events I've gone to, and now I even go to baseball games for ds10. One specific goal I tell my kids: for them never to not be able to do something they are passionate about because of lack of math. I work with college students at a top-10 university and it broke my heart last year when a student I work with told me she changed her major because she couldn't handle the math. Some of my kids are math-passionate, some are math skeptical, but I never want math to hold any of them back from something they love. We went over to the house of a girl who has had the "get into college mindset" a few weeks ago, and she was talking about choosing extracurriculars based on what colleges like. We got home, and dd14 said, "What's she going to do with her time once she gets into college? She won't have anything she actually cares about?" FWIW, her parents were not pushing that message, and appreciated the pushback I gave her. That said, I think my oldest two (15 and 17) seem to be on the route to an elite college, in CS and in something medical. DD14 is much more of a question mark, though she is doing great at time management, hard work, and diligence. Ds10 is making me rewrite my plans, being an incredibly gifted and passionate sports player born into a bookish family. He is one of the hardest working kids I know, and is making breakfast for the family as I type because he wants to (he's planning on making dinner tonight, too). Dd6 is learning to read and learning to finish what she starts, LOL. Emily

Congrats!