I am beginning to consider that my 9yo has something going on (besides being quirky, different, slow to catch on, disobedient, etc). I don't know where to go for information. I really am at the very beginning stages of investigating this. Where do I go for information? What websites/ books, etc. I have little confindence that my pediatrician will be helpful:sad: I don't know where to start but I keep wondering if there is a way to make things a little easier for my boy. Thanks, Marie

I'm not sure what to do with my 9 yo ds. He is my second child. He is bright, athletic, and pretty social. He is not nearly as athletic or social as his 11 yo brother. I feel like he is a typical middle kid and I worry about him having a complex about his older brother (who is one of those for whom everything comes easy- exceptional athlete, very popular, etc.) I have always believed that kids need an interest or a "thing" as they are getting older. While I don't necessarily believe a 9 yo needs extracurricular activities I do believe that older kids do and lots of these activities are very difficult to get into if you start late. We have done karate, soccer, basketball, baseball, tennis. He has liked all of these things okay (except karate) but hasn't loved anything. He doesn't complain about going but it is clear from his demeanor he'd prefer a rain out. He never wants to practice on his own or with the family. Doesn't hustle, marginal attitude, etc. He basically likes it as long as it is just silliness and playing around but as soon as a coach puts any kind of expectation on him he's over it. I have told him he has to do something. I have offered him everything I could think of (scouts, music, art, academic competitions, book clubs, chess clubs, etc). He says if he has to do something he will play sports but he is driving me crazy with his apathy. I wonder why I am spending this money and running him around to do something he's not even into. he does like sports and will play outside but I feel like he is just lazy when it comes to the organized activity. I told dh that I think he needs the expectation on him these coaches have and that he needs to overcome the laziness/ negative attitude. In a way the fact that we are making him do something even though it is not cheap or convenient may in some way reinforce to him that we love him and are not letting him just be a lump because we know he can do better. This child has amazing potential just a sour attitude in general. Am I wrong to push him to grow up a bit? Am I wrong to insist that he has some sort of activity? Is it really okay for a 9 yo to want to spend his time playing with super hero action figures and nothing else? I know I've rambled and I'm not even sure what my question is. Does anyone have any insight? This kid is so hard to peg sometimes. Marie

I really do appreciate all the perspectives. I also love that there are so many ways to homeschool (I'm not one to get hung up on who is technically homeschooling). I think it is going to be a great experience for the older ones. We have gone to this co-op for two years but next year we are ramping up the number and the rigor of the courses there. The 6th grader will have a lot to be responsible for and I think that's a good thing. I'm also looking forward to having someone else read his writing and I'm happy to take a pass on the dissection labs :) The 4th grader is going to be challenged as well and it will be good for him. I think what I needed to do differently is not allow my youngest (1st grade) to participate just because we are there. It is fun for him and probably good to be in the classroom setting a little bit. It is not worth the fees I will pay for him, though. It's not something I ever would have considered for the others at such a young age. But we're there and one class turns into two classes and all of a sudden I'm spending more for him than I should. But it's all about tradeoffs. It's guess it's worth something to me not to have to entertain him all that time and I get to run some errands without him. Of course, his fees aren't nearly as high as the older boys' but it would have kept it down a little. Two years ago I worked as a paid substitute and recouped a little of the expense that way. I may look into that again. Thanks for all the input. I'm glad there are at least a few others who see these activities as worthwhile. I wish I didn't feel like we needed it. We could take a vacation for that $$$. Marie

There will be plenty of at home work for the older ones. Oldest is taking a 2hr dissection class with homework/ tests, etc., an English class using Shurley that will have weekly homework/ writing assignments, a literature class that will have outside reading/ writing assignments, etc., a chemistry lab course that will have homework/ quizzes. I really am outsourcing science and language arts and just helping to oversee homework. So the upside is that I am relieved of my planning on those subjects and I am ready for a break on some of that. The older 2 are taking classes from 8-3:30 and the youngest is going from 11:30-3:30. It is a full day of classes with just a half an hour for lunch. I don't think I would think twice about it if it were just for one child. It sure does add up, though. Marie

Oh- I know it's high. The prices per class are reasonable (IMHO) but not when you add up for 3 kids. There are the 3 day per week private schools around here but they are about $3000 per one child plus other expenses. It's a big co-op, so there are definitely others spending that much. There are at least 5 or 6 co-ops in the area that are once per week that run at similar expense so I know it is not unheard of. I was just wondering if anyone on here was involved with something similar. It definitely is more of a one day per week school for us as we are using it to fill academic needs. I'm only spending about $500 for curriculum for all three next year so it is definitely more than I spend on that. I guess I can't figure out how I feel about it. The teachers are good and take their jobs seriously and it is all very well run. The kids get so much out of it that we don't do at home. Obviously we've decided it's worth it to us but it's still ALOT of money. I'm still looking for someone to tell me that it's not nuts :001_smile: I probably won't find that here! Marie

I am spending a ton on co-op next year. For my 5th, 3rd, and 1st graders I'm going to spend about $3000 by the time all is said and done with registration fees, course fees, material fees, etc. Dh works a second job (online at home thing) to pay for their extracurricular activities and this will come out of that. This is not a true co-op. It meets once a week. Teachers and rent are paid. Parents volunteer 16 hours each semester. Most classes are academic- not just enrichment. The older students will have homework, tests, etc. The kids love it. We've decided it's worth it. There is still a knot in my stomach when I add it all up. I know most of you think I am crazy. I am just wondering if there is anyone at all out there that is spending this on a co-op? It is taking some pressure off at home because some subjects are being completely outsourced this way. Kids love it and they are learning things I wouldn't be teaching at home. Anyone else spending this much? Anyone care to make me feel better? Marie

and was pleasantly surprised. I will be ordering again in the future.

I'm tempted by this resource but trying to keep expenses down. Is this worth the money or should I just get out TWTM and Sonlight catalogs and make my own lists? I'm trying to make reading lists for a 1st, 4th, and 6th graders, all avid readers, and I'm finding the task daunting. Opinions?? Thanks, Marie

to say that a friend "dumped" you for baseball wouldn't be fair. I would feel terrible if a friend of mine thought I specifically chose an activity over a friend. I have a good friend I know doesn't get it at all and thinks we are crazy. I cannot tell you how much it means to me that this friend doesn't come out and tell me that. This friend made an effort to come to my ds game and that meant a lot because it totally isn't her thing. It definitely makes me want to make the effort with that friend and if I did have free time she is the one I would call. People get busy with things. I have always thought it was good that my kids chose the activity they want to pursue rather than consider whether or not their friends are in it. I wish they had a little more time with their friends but I would be disappointed if they put aside something that they really wanted to pursue just because a friend isn't into it. We've been at this for a few years now and haven't lost any friendships over it. My friends with growing children have things they are into now too. I think it is natural as kids get older to get busier. It doesn't mean those friendships are over. It does mean they change a little.

I have one involved with very serious travel ball. One just starting out in a less serious program but still travel. We play 2-3 weekends per month with generally involves Friday night, Sat and Sun - sometimes all day. We practice 1-2 times per week in addition to the weekend tournaments. It would not be okay to miss practice for a playdate or social meeting. Generally we would only miss for illness or a substantial church commitment. Ds recently told his coach that he would not play on Good Friday and we have missed for First Communions. (We do not miss Sunday Mass for baseball but we do often have to go at odd times or go to another parish to work around the baseball schedule). Some families choose to take vacations during the season and that does lead to some eyebrow raising. I have had to tell friends that I can't make any firm plans during ball season. We don't play all the time but we often don't know until the last minute what the schedule will be. We may be off all day on a Saturday but might not know that until Thursday. Things are very much in limbo all season. Not to mention all the free weekends we get because of the weather but again we don't know until the last minute on those. So, yes, it is normal for baseball families (and I know some families in other sports that operate the same way). Whether or not it is healthy- I'm not always sure. I do wish there was some middle ground but we haven't been able to find it. I do often question if this is the right thing to do but usually end up deciding that it is. I do not usually encourage other people to get into it. My ds loves it and thrives in it. It's a great activity for him. Balancing the needs of the family- that's the grey area. The one thing that I do not do is talk to my non-sports friends about baseball. It is very, very easy to get caught up in the drama, the coaching issues, etc. I've been there and felt like I was in high school with some of the women. I won't get emotionally involved again. I have lost sleep over some of that stuff but I will not anymore. It can be very drama filled and emotionally draining. Now that we've learned how to deal with that aspect of it I don't feel like it is taking over our family. There was a time when I told dh I was done because it was all we ever talked about. We've got that aspect of it under control now and it makes the rest of it seem much more reasonable. I know I rambled on there. I consider myself an expert on this topic :D It's a tough thing. Your friends are not unusual, though. And where as they might be overinvolved they likely really enjoy it - not a horrible way to live for them. It can be very fun. It can also be miserable. I hope you are able to maintain those friendships. I'm sure they don't want to lose you as friends they are just trying to support their kids in what they want to do. It can be tough, though. Marie

Something the kids loved was when one coach (who was anti-trophy) printed up certifcates on her computer recognizing each one for a particular skill (most coachable, hardest worker, fastest runner, best defender, etc.) She even had the nerve to hand out an MVP. The kids loved it. If anyone was upset about one player being singled out as MVP I didn't notice. The MVP was obvious and the kids are smart enough to know it and handle it. Another ds played baseball for the husband of this coach and he did the same thing and it went over great with a different set of kids. The younger set of kids all got a "most improved ______" and the more experienced kids got "best defensive player, best baserunner, etc." The kids really liked it. They had something to take pride in because it was true and the coach had taken the time to acknowledge something about each player. The kids ranged in age from 5-8 and every one of them could handle it. Okay- back to ranting about snacks, which I'm happy to do. Marie

but it really irks me. It's just not something I'm willing to fight. It seems I am always swimming against the tide as it is. I'll just roll with the snacks. When a coach asks opinions on snacks I always voice my "no" but I'm always overuled. Sometimes I protest by bringing something healthy. Other times I just bring the cheapest thing I can get by with. Anyone want to talk about trophies? That's right up there with snacks for me. Marie

I've just been mulling over what to think of it. I've always thought that ds was not gifted, just a bright kid in a good environment with a great attitude. I think the scores bear that out. I think his scores were good (especially for a young 5th grader) but he certainly is no where near the ceiling of the test. Of course I would have had fun seeing some big scores! His subtest scores ranged from 14- 19. I think it was a good experience and we'll do it again next year. I think he's a bright kid who is being challenged at home. I don't think I need to break a sweat worrying about accomodating his giftedness, though:tongue_smilie: We're doing well. We'll just keep chugging along. I'll file this away for days that I feel I am failing him and that he is falling behing his ps peers. :) Thanks for offering to help. Marie

What to make of them...that I don't know :)

We'll take a 2-3 wk break when schools let out but then we're back at it for the rest of the summer. The big thing we do to make schooling in the summer tolerable is be willing to drop everything if we get an invite from friends to go to the pool, etc. We do a little school in the morning, relax in the afternoon, and drop everything if something extra fun comes along. We have gotten so much done during out summers yet no one feels too tied down to school or stresses about not getting enough done. Works for us! Marie

My boys were 10, 8, and 5 when dd was born. She is an easy baby and it has been great. There is a huge difference when having a baby when the others are older. It is so much easier than having so many littles at one time. Don't underestimate how much the older ones can help. The older ones can do so much with baby and around the house. I had spoiled mine but used the pregnancy to get them up to speed with making their own breakfast/ lunch, cleaning tasks, etc. Yeah- it is hard to get it all done. There are days that school didn't get done. There are days the house isn't clean. There are days I had nothing ready for dinner. But, all of those things were true before baby, too. Congratuations! I am so glad I got to share this experience with the boys at the ages they are. It has been so neat for all of us. Don't underestimate the fact that you are a more experienced mom and will likely be more laid back about some baby things. Don't underestimate the fact that having ones old enough to have intelligent conversation around can make the baby haze easier to get through. Don't underestimate how much independent work your olders can do. Congratuations and have fun! Our surprise has been such a blessing. She's almost 1 and we've had such a sweet year. Good luck!

for the info. I'm sorry about your son's injury. I'm off to check out that link. I want to be prepared for wherever the next few years take us. I'm not that worried about him playing college ball but I don't want to close any doors on him either. All we have here for homeschoolers is a basketball program. I don't think we'd have the talent base for baseball to be competitive. There is legislation being introduced to allow homeschoolers access to all public school activities but I am not hopeful. Thanks again. Marie

Did your son have success in pursuing college baseball or are you just sharing what you know from others who he played with? Baseball is my ds sport. He is only 11 but on the elite team for our state. I really would rather homeschool him for high school and don't think playing baseball in college is that worthwhile to pursue ( I know there is not much money for baseball). But if it is something he really wants to do we'll have to know how to proceed. He does not have access to any public/ private school athletics in our state. I have wondered if all the travel ball and summer league ball and camps/ showcases would be enough exposure for him to see what his options are instead of always feeling like he missed out because he didn't play on the high school team. I'm rambling. My question is did your son or other homeschooled teamates have success in getting a college coach to look at him? I really don't want to send him to high school but I may have to if it is the only practical way (and if I can't talk him out of it). Thanks... I just haven't ever crossed paths with someone that knows the ins and outs of baseball specifically. Marie

I understand better now. It sounded like you didn't want anything done about it. I probably would try to cover it with makeup if it made her feel better. My ds basketball coach wears makeup to cover his (and I never would have know if I hadn't been told). Sorry you have to deal with this and I'm sorry I misunderstood the tone of your first message. Marie

Our neighbor has had laser treatments for a port wine stain and the results have been dramatic. It sounds like you want her just to accept it because "everybody has something". I get that, sort of, but I disagree. I grew up with a mole on my face. I went to a dermatologist who said it was just a "cosmetic" issue when I was a preteen. My parents weren't into doing anything for "cosmetic" reasons. I finally got it removed at age 32. Honestly, I'm ashamed to admit it but, I really resent my parents for not getting it removed. It would have been so simple. I really still harbor some resentment over this ( I know I need to get over it). In fact, the dr. asked if it bled and I said "no". I actually attempted to make it bleed so that something might be done. I am not a vain person. I understand the value in being raised not to be vain. That is why it took me so long to get it removed once I was an adult. I would do anything reasonable to remove a port wine stain from my daughter's face. Just my .02 Marie

The skin care stuff is pretty good. I especially like the moisturizers and I feel like they are a good value. I have found some cheapo stuff that works for my cleansers but I still use her sunscreen and moisturizers. Better than the skin care, though, is the make up. I simply love it. It last forever. It's a great value. You can get samples so you can check colors. Marie

I don't buy an extra Sunday paper but I do get the coupons out of my regular Sunday paper and then my small town local paper has one coupon insert on Wednesday so I get doubles of a few coupons. My mom gives me her leftovers after she and my sister have picked through them so I get a few extra there. I use coupons I get on the internet. Most of the sites seems to let you print a couple of each one you want. I'll save coupons over time. I may end up with similar coupons that were in several different papers and I save them all to use when the item goes on sale. If you are shopping CVS or Walgreens there are cheapies and freebies to be had from their Extra Bucks or Register Rebates, respectively. The best deals come when you combine with a manufacturer coupon but sometimes there are cheapies or freebies even without the man coupon. Alot depends on what stores you are shopping and if they double coupons, etc. I have a Kroger that doubles and that is where many of the big savings come in. If your store doesn't double you won't see some of the best deals. I wouldn't buy an extra paper unless I looked inside and saw that there were tons of coupons that would save me enough to make it worth all the hassle. I've not done that yet. Honestly, I'm swimming in coupons just from the regular paper and I don't want to manage any more. Hope that helps. The longer you stay at it, the better deals you will get as you collect more coupons. I wouldn't be able to get the deals I get if my Kroger didn't runs such good sales, though. So if you don't have a Kroger or comparable store I bet you can't save quite as much.

In my head I know that these sales will run again and that there will be more coupons but I guess I get carried away. I think I could manage the 12 week rule. Then if I got a great cheapie or freebie I could donate it and it wouldn't take over my cabinets but I could still be happy to get the deal :001_smile: Thanks. I'll think about that.

Where do you draw the line? I've just been couponing etc. the last couple months but I have built quite a stockpile of things I got very cheap. I have quite a collection of toothpaste and deodorant :) I'm trying to come up with a system for when to stop buying. For example, I'm thinking now that I'll only get toothpaste if it is less than $.25. Of course, I can limit myself more easily with perishable food items. I know this sounds silly but the obsessive part of my personality is having a hard time knowing when to quit. I just wanted to add that this system is working very well for me and I finally feel after 13 years of marriage and 4 kids that I know how to grocery shop and am being thrifty. I never believed I could put this much of a dent in my grocery bill. But when I find myself trying to figure how many tampons I'm going to need to get to menopause that maybe I'm getting carried away:D Any pointers?

I'm looking at a pair of Teva flip flops as my main summer shoe. I've never owned a pair before. I usually go with Keen or Privo but the ones I want from those brands are just way too expensive this year. Are they comfortable and do they hold up well? I love my Keens and I've never worn a pair out but the ones I want from them are just out of my range. TIA Marie (who spends hours each week couponing and won't buy anything if it's not on sale and with a coupon but is looking to buy a pair of $50 flip flops)