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SpecialClassical

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Posts posted by SpecialClassical

  1. Honestly, if you can't resolve this very soon I would drain the pond and re-home the fish. It would cost less than a fence and you could refill it as soon as you are confident the children won't be playing near it unattended.

     

    If the oldest is 6, is the youngest a toddler? That is what I am imagining and a toddler can't be expected to act in a safe manner around a fish pond.

     

    I hope you can resolve this soon for the sake of those children and your peace of mind.

  2. In short, yes. The science section is the hardest to nail even with a student who is solid. It can't hurt to take it again and the possible payoff is huge. Let's say he studies 20 hours for the next try and ends up getting a full ride. He just earned how much per hour? Thousands! Perhaps if you present it that way he will see the benefit. Definitely emphasize that a 27 is an awesome score. It is simply worth a try to raise the science portion, which is tricky. I am trying to approach it more as an effort to conquer the ACT than a statement on intelligence or level of education achieved. Hopefully my son will see it that way.

  3. Feel free to ignore this since I am not answering your actual question. I would consider baby/ toddler wearing for at least the first few monthsif you are looking to bond with a traumatized child. Maybe you could find a used stroller for an older preschooler and then buy whatever you need after a cocooning period if you get a smaller child.

  4. It makes sense that whoever is on the invitation is who will be expected. The no children issue is tricky. I tried to invite children I knew and not children of distant relatives who had a reputation for being uncontrolled. My mom went behind my back and invited all the children of all families. I understand why she did it, but I was really worried about putting all that planning into the ceremony and having it ruined by loud, undisciplined children. Now I see that it was selfish, but it seemed reasonable at the time.

     

    Flash forward several years later and my husband's cousin's wedding was very clearly no children at all. We were expected to be there, but without our newly adopted infant. We got a babysitter and dealt with it. But what really got me was the bride's mom telling the matron of honor that her nursing baby was not allowed to be at the wedding, even behind the scenes. She was insistent that it was to be no children and that meant this young lady's baby-no accomodations! So her need (not the bride's) to have a child-free wedding trumped her daughter's good friend's need to feed her child. Unbelievable. In the end I do believe the baby visited the reception, or maybe it was between ceremony and reception, and was fed.

  5.  

     

    Doesn't our realtor make the offer?

     

    I think it depends on where you live. I'm from Michigan and the realtor makes the offer.

     

    As far as the house, if there a just a few small sacrifices and your inspector said it was solid, I would jump on it in a heartbeat. It is stressful, but you will be so relieved when you walk in the front door as the owner.

  6. As the mother of 4 white males, soon to be 5, I do lament the fact that there are so few male role models in the media worth looking up to. I'm talking about family friendly sitcom type media.

     

    Men are shown as goofballs sidekick types, womanizing cads who are good for a laugh, frustrated husbands and fathers who would rather watch football and drink beer than interact with their families, or somewhat smart but totally clueless Everybody Loves Raymond types who are nice enough but so emotionally immature they can't handle marriage and parenthood in a competent way and are always causing problems.

     

    I just want my boys to be able to watch functional, emotionally mature, strong men who are considerate towards other human beings on television and film. I grew up in a pretty dysfunctional family, I'm tired of having dysfunction shown on television as if it is the new norm. I want to see more husbands and fathers on tv who have it together.

     

    I don't know why that is so much to ask for. I feel like there are plenty of great role models in the media for girls, why not more for boys?

     

     

     

     

    I suggest " The Cosby Show" unless you specifically want a white role model. I know it is an older show, but even with the jokes and silliness, Cliff Huxtable is portrayed as a loving, hard working, smart Dad that is respected.

  7. I read a quote from RW saying they had done everything, including seeing the best doctors in the country in an effort to help their son.

     

    Also, I come from a theologically conservative church that is non -judgmental and very supportive of anyone with a mental health issue. Understanding that the brain can experience trauma or illness like the rest of the body is growing, I believe. And I say that as a mom of a brain injured child with a hidden disability.

     

     

  8. Julie, Please, please, please, be honest with your therapist. Please "insert" yourself into the life of your busy friends!!!! If I knew you IRL, even just casually, I would not, NOT, consider it an intrusion for you to come over, hang out, have fun, and/or dump everything on me! I'm serious. Your friends deserve the opportunity to be your friends. Please reach out to someone IRL. You need to. I understand depression. I totally get how you are feeling. Don't stay there. Not for 2 to 4 years, not for 2 to 4 weeks!!

     

    Please realize, that you need to do whatever you need to do for YOU. If that means leaving, please do! Your children need you. Your dh has already checked out. You are all they have.

     

    :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

     

    I agree. Last year I went through a very hard time and was pushed further than I thought I could handle. I was desperate for support beyond prayers, but got very little, even from longtime friends. I stared to become resentful. My church family seemed to be stepping up to help others, but not us. When I finally relayed this to the elders they mentioned two women I could call anytime and assured me the call would be welcome.

     

    I have been told that people see me as independent and that I convey a message that I don't need help. Because I have hesitated to ask people assume I don't want it. Sometimes when we are in deep pain we can't see straight and asking for help is the last thing we want to do, especially when we aren't even sure what we need!

     

    Please don't continue to suffer in isolation. Maybe you can just ask a friend or two to join you doing fun stuff. Tell them that a couple hours every week or two would work. I would happily skip a meeting or watching a dumb tv show at night to hang out with someone who needed a friend. And if that someone was you, I would be doubly blessed because we could talk about cooking, baking, and starting your own business-all interests of mine!

     

    Maybe your elders would know an older woman who has walked a similar path, or they could ask the pastors of sister churches. From what you have written, I know you are a Christian and you know that The Lord often ministers to us through others who have been there. Allow them to do that. It could provide healing for you both!

     

    Still praying and believing in the power of His name.

    I also agree with the suggestions about a support group and your therapist. Get out of the house as often as possible!

  9. :grouphug:

     

     

    I don't even remember our anniversary. Every year it passes and I'm like, "Hey? Wasn't it our anniversary a few days ago?"

     

    The only reason I remember it is because my cousin sends us a card.

     

    Why does she send us a card? Because we forgot the date and were calling family members to see if they perhaps kept our invitations...(no, we didn't) ....

     

     

    When we remember, we go nd buy ourselves something for the house. I nailed him down to an antique bed for our 20th... :laugh:

     

     

    Ouch! 😄

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