As someone who utilizes a virtual charter to home educate my children, you do come off as condescending. It actually comes across as rather full of yourself and your abilities. I am sure the local private or public school teacher could write just as snarky remarks about your ability and efforts to "home" school your child.

I think it depends on where you are b/c here if your child can not attend the public school physically here and is registered brick and mortar (not virtual-but actual brick and mortar with a teacher), then you are considered home bound. They don't call them public school at home. They call them homebound students. They also call it home study students. They are distinguished from the regular public schoolers in brick in mortar as home bound or home study. i have never heard any one in real life say virtual public school at home. That is a mouthful. They are either educated at home or not. That is all anyone on the outside looks at to determine if one is home schooled. I learned that this year as my son was being evaluated for OT. They considered the virtual school at home school setting just as much as if we were not doing a virtual and just private homeschoolers. I agree with the previous statements about homeschool being distinguished as private schools. That is how it is in our state. You are either registered as a home study student approved by the board of ed., a private school not seeking state approval, or you are in a physical private school or brick and mortar public school. There is no legal way to homeschool here otherwise. There is technically no such thing here as a "home" school student. You are either private, public, or home study. I assume all virtual school students are technically home study or home bound students registered to the charter school. So technically here it doesn't matter b/c technically everyone is registered with the state in some way or another to legally school at home. I am glad of that now as it sounds very horrid to live where a person can judge your educational choices and manifest your choices as being a slight to their choices. It sounds pretty horrid and nasty and petty to be honest and I am glad I live where I do and no one can technically call themselves any purer a homeschool parent than another since technically no one is a homeschool student. :tongue_smilie: Why does it belittle anyone else if your friend chooses to associate herself as a homeschooler? I have never understood this logic nor do I understand this big debate over being a "true" home schooler.

I am doing a state virtual school and I will tell you it is most definitely parent led and requires more effort and responsibility than when we were traditional homeschoolers. I do feel we still "home" school, but I don't feel like a homeschooler as much now. They provide the curriculum and a tentative schedule, but I am responsible for planning our days and getting us through it. I like the curriculum and I love the cost (free), but it is much harder than when we homeschooled b/c we are on their agenda and goals. Any one that thinks it will ease their burden with the stress is mistaken. The teachers are just there on paper. They do not help the child with anything. They have office hours, but you are competing with the other hundred or so kids that they are teaching as well. I will tell you that I am doing more work than I ever did before and it is much more stressful in certain ways while being a relief in others. I will tell you that doctors, OT's, and other professionals see it as homeschooling when they are assessing your child and their learning environment. It goes like this, where does ___ go to school? He goes to the virtual academy and uses k12. Where is that at? I haven't heard of it. Well it is online. So he is home schooled? Well, yes...we school at home... as the professional scribbles on the paper. I think it is silly to get so upset over whether virtual school is homeschooling just b/c the state pays for it and provides it all. It is no different than using Abeka Virtual or Bob Jones distance learning, or any other umbrella program. It is not magically easier with the virtual. We are at home and I am helping every child with every lesson. Do I feel the counselor and teacher are there for me or my child? Only on paper. I gave up a lot of freedom for free curriculum. It is a season of our lives and I am not sure how I will feel about it at the end of the year. I would have been devastated though had any of our homeschool friends, homeschool groups, or co-ops suddenly shunned us b/c they didn't feel we were homeschoolers any more.

We are in the same boat. My older girls have it down. Probably b/c they used it at ps for so long. My 4th grader and K5'er both require me to sit beside them. It is painful and I would much rather some spectrum books to get through in the year.

Click all k12 schools in GA when you search the map on K12 and you will find some that are smaller and just for certain counties. There are also some that are part-time. The cyber academy and international academy only come up unless you click show me all K12 schools in Georgia.

In this case and at these ages, you need to be the one talking. You need to answer the door and say she can not play at all today please do not knock again. You need to tell the child as soon as you get out of the car, ___, we are busy right now. You need to go home so we can unload the car or get in the house or whatever. I have had to do this with several neighborhood kids. Once it was me telling them to go home, they listened. I think at this age it needs to come from the adult. I do think a 10 year old will get the hint if an adult is constantly telling her to go home.

Yes, I would say she is trollish online. I just didn't want to lump her into that category. Honestly, now that we aren't in any groups together...I really can't see us moving in the same circles. I appreciate all the words of wisdom.

Well, when I talked to her about not moderating or being involved she seemed to not understand why. She did say several times for me not to feel obligated to stay in the group. I decided to go ahead and remove myself from her new fb group. I just feel that she will expect me to be involved and that by staying in the group...I am not being honest. If she asks me about it or emails me about it (that is more her style), then I am just going to tell her we couldn't take on another group. I honestly don't feel that she will realize she is at fault. I have never let on to her how hard it was to get her back into the other hs group last year. I didn't want to hurt her feelings. I did tell her in the phone conversation that while I think the leader's post were not great that I had decided to lay low this year and just enjoy the activities. I don't think the other people she placed in her group are going to join it really either. It is one of those fb groups and people can put you in them without you agreeing to it.

I am friends with another homeschool mom. She has joined many groups that I belong to over the past few years. All of those groups met at church's and were a do unto others as you would have them do unto you type groups. They would ignore anyone that stirred trouble and take down controversial posts. My friend liked to stir trouble on the hs groups forum type site. She would eventually get mad and leave the group when people would quit responding to her antagonistic posts. This did cause me a bit of grief as I was her "in" at these groups. So I got a bad reputation by association in some of the groups. Fast forward to this year, we are both doing virtual school. There is a social/support fb group for our charter ran by a local Mom in the charter. This friend started off as usual getting along and all that...3 weeks in she has wrote comments on the leaders post that could be interpreted as hostile or trying to start a debate. Well, this is not a Christian group and the leader banned her on her 3rd hostile post. No warning-no don't do that again...just 3 strikes you are out. The posts in question were always removed. It was never discussed on the board. My friend pm'd the leader and asked why she was banned. The leader told her she had kept personally attacking her in posts. My friend tried to start a debate with the leader in the pm's and the leader said both mods decided it before they banned her. Now said friend and her kids can't participate in any of the local outings and socials for the local charter group. First thing she assumed was that b/c she was banned that I was going to leave the group. Then she created another fb group and wanted me to mod and assist with her ideas for the older grades. I wound up calling her on the phone and telling her that I wasn't interested in moderating or setting up another group. I told her my big kids had enough to do with scouts, 4h, hs co-op, and the like. My big kids plan their own stuff at this point and I am along for the ride. My little one can go to park days with the virtual charter group and our hs group. I feel bad b/c she has about 4 people including herself in her new fb group. I don't want to be a part of it, but I don't want to remove myself from the group as it would be very noticeable. She thinks she was right, but having been in 3 other groups with her over the years. ..this is a pattern and her kids suffer for it. I feel that someone needs to tell her that she is limiting her kids ability to flourish in groups and make friends by always being conflicting on the group's sites and such, but I don't think she will listen to me. I actually feel relief that I don't have to go behind her trying to diffuse hostile posts and such. I have often had to go behind her to smooth things over before she would quit groups. In one group she left horribly one year and was on a black list, my family was involved in the group the next year again and she asked me to get her back in. It took several phone calls for the board to let her back in. She was stirring trouble within 2 weeks and gone in a month and never paid any dues. So I am not exactly sad that she is not going to be in the virtual charter group. She is no longer in any groups I belong to...I want to leave her group on fb, but it is so sad right now with 4 people. Would you broach the subject with her and let her know that her behavior is responsible for her lack of groups and activities for her kids to belong? Or would you wait a month and hope she gets some more members for her break-away group and quietly leave the group?

Next time, pull out the epi-pen, place it on the table and have 911 on the ready on your phone...look the server in the eye and say now do you want to be wrong or do you want to take the time to ask the cook? My son has food allergies and I would definitely do this and ask for the manager. :grouphug:

I had 3 different Spanish teachers over my 3 years in Spanish. One was an American who had lived abroad and had a decent accent. One was American and had a southern twang. lol. One was from Puerto Rico and taught us really well the pronunciation. In college, I took German. My uncle's mother was German and I had heard her talk growing up. I miss her rum balls she made at Christmas. She passed while I was in college. My uncle was born in Germany and he speaks some still. I had a different accent going into the class. The German teacher was really nice and we talked about the different accents. So just like with our country different regions have different accents so I don't see how a teacher can say one pronunciation is correct over others.

My ds9 reads on grade level or advanced. He was tested on reading yesterday and flew through the 3 tests with flying colors. He used the yellow highlighter strip last year consistently to get to this point in reading. He was way below grade level last year. Think just finishing phonics. I had bought both blue and yellow and he hates the blue. He likes for me to write in green or red on the dry erase board. Not blue or black. He sometimes uses the yellow if his eyes are tired when reading. I am going to go to school aids and get the full page yellow thing and see how it helps with tiring of his eyes and tracking. He goes to the state eye center. He hasn't been lately, but I can get a referral and get him in again. He doesn't get just an eye exam. It is the whole shebang. His right eye is still blocked 19%. His main issue is taking his thoughts from his head to paper. He can not spell at all. He can verbally say the spelling 4 or 5 times in a row and then when he goes to write it...it has seeped from his brain. There is some sort of short circuit between his thoughts in his head and getting his hand to write them. I have left a message for the pediatrician to call me and to discuss ds's issues. He has a great vocabulary and is very well spoken and well read. He tested great on vocabulary. The teacher who tested him yesterday went on and on about his fluency and inflection. It seems to be a writing issue. He recognizes when he writes letters/numbers backwards. He just can't seem to stop writing them that way in the first place. He will correct them without prompting. Spelling is what is holding up his school work. He just can't write anything on paper that he is thinking. He knows the alphabet, he knows how to spell the words, there is no crossover from his reading/vocabulary skills to spelling and writing. I don't get it and I don't know what to do past this evaluation on Monday. His handwriting is awful. We have used HWOT from the start and are just now to the cursive. He has no concept of the lines and placement with writing. He is technically in public school through K12 and does have to test this year. I am hoping that with some work things will get better. I plan to have him do HWOT Cursive, Keyboarding, and some remedial spelling program. I don't know which yet. He is really smart if you are talking to him. He speaks and understands on a high level for his age. He just can't convey communication in print.

He did a typing program last year. I am going to check out click n spell.

The place he is going is a full therapy clinic that offers those type services. They test for dysgraphia and dyslexia or at least that is what they told me on the phone and it is who the pediatrician wrote a script referral. I know that our insurance does not cover psychologists for dependents. So if that is the case, I am out of luck. I guess I will just have to hope that what we are doing Monday will be enough to get him some help. The insurance part of all of this is complex b/c certain services are covered but have a yearly max and some are not covered at all. I felt like I was taking a crash course in insurance today when making all the phone calls.

I forgot to mention that he had eye surgery before he was a year old. He had dacryostenosis and dacryocystitis in both eyes. He has kept up with the pediatric eye doctor since his surgery. He does seem to do better sometimes with the yellow highlighter bookmarks that you put over the words and he likes for me to write only in green on the dry erase board. I just assumed that on Monday they would test for all the dys-family learning issues. I guess I will make sure they are testing for dyslexia and dysgraphia.

My ds9 has always struggled with reading and writing. After a long uphill battle, he is reading on grade level. His writing is not. He can not take his thoughts (which are really intelligent and great sentences) and put them on paper. He has a great vocabulary and can dictate great sentences to me and copy them. He can not spell to save his life. We are doing K12 and he had an evaluation today and dysgraphia was mentioned as being a possible reason for all of his struggles and strife through the years. We have private insurance that will cover an evaluation and about 10-12 sessions a year if the evaluation deems he is dysgraphic. I honestly was prepared for them to say dyslexia today. I had to ask what dysgraphia means. After the evaluation was over, I have gotten a referral from the pediatrician to the OT and we go on Monday afternoon. I just want to help him succeed and make school not so hard for him. I am a bit nervous about the evaluation and what it will mean to actually know for sure what is causing all the difficulty. I guess I am just nervous and scared at this point but relieved and excited at the same time. I need to find him an alternate spelling program than K12's spelling. His homeroom teacher is very nice and the Mark 12 teacher gave some web site suggestions but did not have any actual spelling program suggestions. Spelling is his main hindrance from writing his thoughts. He has done HWOT for almost 3 years. We use a slant board, ready-write paper, and grips already. I really need something to help him learn to spell. Thanks for your help.

Here the only way you got books was if your child had an IEP saying they had to have print books. So we switched to K12. I totally agree with the person who said it is still a lot of work for the parent. We started K12 last week and I have been killing myself juggling my 4th and Kindergartener. Almost 85% of my 4th graders work are offline lessons. My kindergartener has so much work that I feel chained to him. We are having to assess out a test at a time for my k'er (who did k at home last year but misses the b-day cut off for virtual school). My 6th and 7th grader are doing great and hardly need me at all. They have called me for Algebra help, but other than that they are completely independent. If I would have realized how intense kindergarten would be and how hard to assess out, then I would just have enrolled my oldest three kids. I am really happy that my ds9 will finally get some help with his struggles in reading and writing with their Mark 12 program. I think it can be really good and we are definitely keeping on plugging away, but if you have several kids in 4th and below...it is not worth the stress.

I bought it when this thread first came out. I have not used it with my ds. It looked neat but had a lot of activities that I just was never going to do. I plan to give it to dh's step sister who is a preschool teacher. It just didn't really fit me working one on one with my little one.

I am from a more regulated state than we currently live in at the moment. I never homeschooled there or knew any one homeschooled there. Our state has almost no regulation besides writing a letter of intent yearly. That is it. My home state requires attendance, portfolio, testing in 3rd and up, and you turn in your attendance to your local school district...I am thinking they have evaluations too. Anyway, I have noticed locally that most people join lots of hs social type co-ops and groups and well really are never home schooling. There is no way that anyone would know if they were dropping the ball unless they went back to b&m school or can't get into college. We had to go home for almost 4 months a year ago when my Mom was battling cancer. Luckily, we arrived with only a month left for ps school and we did not know how long we were staying. If we would have known we were staying more than 30 days and school would have still been in session, we would have been required to follow their state rules. I did check into a homeschool group while I was there and my kids played on a soccer team with some homeschoolers there. They definitely were not slacking. So I do think that without any rules, there are certain types of people who tend to do the least amount required. So I think there should be some sort of check in to make sure a child isn't just being educationally neglected. I have seen a lot of educational neglect in the state we live in at the moment.

I have never seen invites asking for cash, but I have been to showers and weddings were they have a $$$ tree to get them started. It is normally some sort of fake tree made by a loving relative out of all types of different things and those that choose to pin $$$ on it. I have always seen lots of $1's and $5's but not many high bills. I also haven't really been to many 2nd weddings. In our religion, you aren't getting married in the church on your 2nd wedding unless your first spouse is with the Holy Ghost. So I don't have any experience with 2nd marriages besides relatives having justices of the peace say a few words with their kids and parents around. I would think that her friends are going to the restaurant to drink and they may have some sort of interesting way to give the cash such as a $$$ tree? Idk, but I would be peeved if my sister didn't let me know about the shower even if I couldn't attend.

We had to do this when I was almost due with my 3rd child. My dds and I moved into my parents house while I carried to term. Dh moved to another state and came back for the birth. Two months later we all moved into an appt. (sight unseen) that I found on the internet. It isn't ideal, but ....sometimes it is necessary. I would seriously start printing out resumes and searching hard. Texas is a big state. I would send resumes to any area you would consider living and wouldn't be too far that you would get homesick. If it is close to one of Texas' border states...send resumes into the border states. Focus on the positive....you have each other, a roof over your head, and family.

I do appreciate all the suggestions and words of wisdom. It is all said and done with now. She views her child much differently than my girls view her child. She views her child as a tween with similar interests as my girls. The girls view her as similar to their younger brother and have for a while now. It took spelling it out for her to realize my kids birthday party was about my kids and what they want. It took this 3rd time of having to have awkward conversations with her for me to realize that until she is willing to let go of the pairing our kids up as friends without them wanting it that we just need a break from each other. Her kids are just going to keep getting hurt and I just keep having to have these awkward conversations where I have to point out that her kids are way younger than mine and won't fit in socially with my kids' activities. Today is a new day! Off to our first day of school for the year!

I was never trying to hide the party from them. They just were never invited. I wasn't going to advertise around them b/c I knew she would petition for an invite. She did it last year. My fb event had invitees on there you had to be invited to join the party. It just suggested it on my friends events b/c I hadn't put for it to be seen by invitees only. There was no way for them to join the party without being invited on facebook. They just saw the party that way. In a phone call she asked me and I hedged and she kept on and on about her dd really liking my dd. This is my dds party. I shouldn't feel obligated to invite anyone else. My dds made their guest list from their friends. She told me on the phone (the horrid phone call today) that she realized I had never meant to invite her dd in her first phone call but she still pushed it. She knew the truth. She just wanted me to say it out loud. Honestly, I am glad this all happened. It did make me realize that I was always put in a position where I was forcing my kids to visit with her kids and being forced into these weird set ups instead of letting them naturally play so that I could spend time with the Mom. The only time I didn't feel pushed to push my children to be her kid's friends was when we hung out together without kids. She doesn't have kids old enough to stay home alone or to babysit younger siblings. I do. The dynamic of our friendship changed over the last 2 years. This whole situation made me realize that. I don't mind people disagreeing with me but I don't see it as a lack of values for a child not to want to invite a kid to a party b/c their mom is bugging me about it. If my kids were around these kids all the time or even liked being around them, then I would have left the forced invite open. My own son is older than this child and he isn't being allowed to mingle with the older kids. I am not going to give privileges to someone else's younger child b/c the mom has been imagining a friendship that has never been there between my dd and her dd. We haven't had playdates in a long time. The friendship has staled on all fronts. We all need to move on. TammyS was pretentious in her responses and was all about her kid wouldn't do that and her values were better. She didn't listen to the problem or the situation. She just got on and was all my kid would never do that and I would never let them. Well, there was potential for injury and harm to the child both emotionally and physically to come to the party. I don't feel that I should shoulder babysitting her kid during my kid's party to spare everyone's feelings. I am sure I projected some of my ill feelings toward the helicopter parent onto her in my reply. I don't regret it though. She was snarky. I am tired of not being blunt when someone needs bluntness. That is what got me into this predicament in the first place. I do have a 9 yr old and he has not been invited to teen parties that the girls are invited to....I did not push for an invite nor did I feel that my friends were being unfair in not inviting him. I am paying a ridiculous amount of money for this party and the 15 invited guests. i am not paying even more for an uninvited guest that annoys one of my dds to no end and would make her own bday party feel like a chore. If that means I have no values and that I am teaching my kids to have no values, then so be it. But truthfully, I think it takes more character to look someone in the eye and tell them the truth instead of candy coating it.

I have it for invitees only now. I wish I would have known how to do that in the beginning.

She wouldn't hear it. She thinks I am trying to keep her daughter from having a friend b/c I have a thing about the ages of kids my kids play with or something like that. I do not. I will go ahead and say that this is not the first time I have had to break it down for her about kids and their interests. She kept trying to get me to have my ds9 have sleepovers with her ds6. :tongue_smilie: I had to tell her that would put my son in an odd situation. My dd12 got sick of her dd9 2 years ago when her dd9 kept treating my son "like dirt" to quote my dd12. I was only writing about this new incident, but since I have been accused of having no values by a complete stranger...I thought I would disclose all information. The mom tries to line up her kids friendships with other families neatly. She tried to put all the girls together and my son with her son 3 yrs younger to play....the only kids that actually played naturally together were the youngest boys. I have had this talk with her 2 times before this about the age thing so now she thinks that I ban my kids from having younger friends and I am denying her kids friends. I feel a lot better getting all this crud off my chest and I think I won't miss the friendship too much considering how much she questioned my motives and parenting skills.:auto: