So, what if one's moral compass says it's okay? If my dd says her moral compass says this is okay and not out of line with what she feel God wants, am I still supposed to turn my back on her because mine is different? Am I supposed to not be a part of her life because the church I belong to has a belief that is different than what hers is even if both are grounded in Christ and love? We're not talking about someone denying God in my scenario. We're talking about two Christians with possibly differing ideas about what God wants. If she believes with all her being that what she is doing is okay with God, should I really turn my back on her because my church says differently? I don't think so.

I saw good come out of it, yes. I saw people change their lives because of it. I saw His work through it all. I watched my mother kneel next to and forgive the person who caused the accident, which in turn allowed him to be okay with what happened. I don't believe God is only involved with the good and easy in our lives. I've seen His work in my dd through this. Her faith has become stronger since coming out to us. She has spent more time researching and reading the Bible. She has spent more time in prayer. Her being gay and admitting that to us has actually brought her closer to God. I believe my dd's faith to be as important to her as yours is to you.

Yeah, He did. So, now what?

Yes, I do believe she was born gay. I see God's work in many places I would rather not. I saw His work when my dad and brother were killed in a car accident as well. I don't just choose to feel and see Him working when it suits me. I choose to have faith in Him even in times where it is extremely difficult. I know without a doubt that my dd was born this way because I've heard her praying out and I've wiped her tears. If she could be what most consider normal, she would be. Also, it may not be a fact for many Christians you know but I know many Christians who feel the same as me.

The only one I attended, with dh, took place in a casino outside of Vegas. It was interesting... :gnorsi:

I think, in regards to this issue being discussed, that it is wrong for parents to turn their backs on their children. I don't know what God was thinking when he decided people could be born gay. But, He did allow it. He does do it. Why? I'm not going to spend my life complaining about it, especially since my dd is amazing in every other way. She has a big heart, she helps others, she's a great student, she's focused and goal driven. She is logical and crazy smart. Yet, God also made her gay. I'm not going to decide that this one thing means I turn my back on her and her life. I'm not going to turn away from the amazing gift God gave me. I'm going to love and nurture this gift He gave me. She's not hurting any other living human being. She's not a murderer, cheater, or liar. She's the one who sits with that one kid sitting alone at lunch. She's the one who wants to stop on the side of the road because of a hurt animal. There is nothing in her that is capable of hurting someone else. If I'm wrong, I'll find out later but I don't for one second think that even if I'm wrong that it has any bearing upon my own salvation. I do think I would have to answer for turning my back on her.

And, to me, that is wrong and against what God wants. It seriously hurts my heart to even see it written out. I've known teens who have had this happen and it is heartbreaking. You excusing yourself from being a parent and being a part of your child's life doesn't make them less gay. All it does it hurt. All it does is damage. I honestly just don't understand a parent who says or does this. I hope that if you actually find yourself in this position that you realize your assumptions of what you would do are wrong.

You don't think you would be pushing your child out of your life if you refused to support their relationship at all? If you refused to go their wedding? How does that look long term? Do you not acknowledge any children they may have or adopt either? Are they allowed to be in your home or you in theirs? Are they allowed to behave as hetero couples do around you and hold hands or kiss? Or are you not around them at all while living a certain way? I fully expect to lose part of my family when dd is comfortable coming out to them. That will be completely on them and no fault of my dd at all. I will also think they are wrong for their actions but I will continue to love them and be here for them if they ever need me or figure out they were wrong.

My religion and faith are very serious to me as well. I just don't believe it means I can't be supportive of my gay teen. In fact, I feel it means the opposite and I don't understand other Christians parents who aren't supportive of their children.

If my dd gets married, I'll be sitting right up front. It doesn't damage my relationship with God to support my dd if she chooses to do so.

And I think it's very easy for those who have experienced marriage and children to say this. My dd has a huge heart and loves big. She loves children and they love her right back. I will not be someone who thinks she should live her life without a spouse and children if that's what she wants. I get you and others don't agree but it's honestly not for you to decide.

Seriously! Have you not seen the hatred right now over bathrooms. The people stating they will beat up, or worse, a transgendered woman if she dares to enter the same bathroom as their daughters/wives/etc?

An affair greatly hurts the other spouses and any children. My single dd choosing to date another single girl isn't breaking up a marriage or hurting children. They are very different things.

Right back atcha!!!

I will have no problem if she decides to date and/or marry. The only responsibility I feel on that issue is to continue being a loving and supportive parent to my amazing dd. She will continue to have a relationship with God but it may not be how our particular church thinks it should be. I'm fine with that.

I didn't say anything about homosexual behavior. I said my dd is gay. The church hasn't changed with the culture. Being born gay isn't an issue. They do believe acting on it is. Dd is 16 and and not dated. She's talked with our priest. Dd has come to the decision that she doesn't agree with the church on the acting on it part but she's made no move to do so. We fully support whatever decision she will make, though, and she knows it.

An adult child choosing to have an affair is not the same as a child being born gay and choosing to tell their parents.

Wow. I'm not going to post your reply to me Scarlet because I hope you do the right thing and remove it. Dd has talked with our priest and thankfully he feels differently about this than you.

My oldest is gay and we're Catholic. She still very much identifies as Christian. She's actually very conservative. All of that doesn't make her less gay, though. It's also definitely not considered cool to be gay. Dds weekly therapy sessions to deal with the anxiety and depression are proof of that. She's terrified to tell extended family, such as grandparents, because she's afraid of their reaction. We've felt no reason at all to leave our faith to continue loving and supporting our dd either. She's felt no reason to leave our faith either.

Honestly, for me, it would be all childcare time. If I wanted any housekeeping included, I would have the hours overlap during nap time.

Except many of the young girls that I know that do this have parents who are totally on board. Many of the trash the dress pictures are part of senior pictures that parents pay for as well. I understand those who don't get it, I don't get the whole trash the dress thing, but I also don't think it's that big of a deal or says anything important about the teens or their parents.

I've never had to give SS#s to register dds in public school. We've gone through the process in two different states. I also don't remember having to give them my driver's license. This last time the DL would have still been from another state at time of enrollment. I do have to show a bill, mortgage, or lease agreement with our address and name along with a birth certificate and shot records.

I've known guys thrown in swimming pools while wearing a rented tux and there was no issue returning it.

I've purposefully engaged in a water fight as an adult and not been dressed for it. I even dragged my dds into a few. I don't see the big deal, especially since the OP's dress isn't ruined.

Honestly, I can't imagine being upset over this. Sounds like she liked the dress and had a good time. Dresses for those types of occasions are rarely worn again anyway. I would let it go.